To Run Or To Hide
by Lost Kiwi
Summary: Ronon has been on the run for seven years. He meets a woman who he has more in common with than he realizes. Can she help him to forget his past and look toward the future?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I know I'm behind the 8 ball here, having just discovered SGA, but better late than never I say. I'm quite captivated by the character of Ronon, and was disappointed that he never really got a love interest on the show. I was hoping he would get together with Jennifer, but with only six episodes of the final season left to watch I doubt that is going to happen - so I've written him a love interest of my own. I haven't read any other fanfic on the show, or Ronon, so everything here is my own and Ronon is written on how I see him. I hope he is not too OOC for the hard core fans! Because SGA is probably old news in fanfiction circles , I wanted to post the first chapter to see if anybody was interested in reading before I continue. So if you like (or not!) please review and let me know.

I am without a beta, so please feel free to correct any technical aspects of the show or otherwise. Rated M for future chapters. One day I will write a PG fan fic - but Ronon will not be a part of it!

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA or any of the characters, but I sure would like to have Ronon to play with.

**To Run Or To Hide - Chapter 1**

Ronon POV

My stomach growled with anticipation as I skinned the scrawny looking rabbit. Food was extremely scarce on this world and it was longer than I cared to remember since I had eaten a decent meal. A spit roast tonight would go a long way towards replenishing my strength - not to mention my spirits - I thought as I worked. I cast a glance towards the far end of the forest clearing in which I was crouched. Seven years on the run had left me wary, constantly on guard for the next wraith who might be hoping to add my name to his list of conquests. Despite the stillness of the forest and my eyes being unable to locate anything amiss, I was suddenly sure that I was no longer alone. I put the rabbit down and slowly reached for my gun, my hand closing around the familiar grip just as the wraith stepped into view. I shot him dead before he even had chance to draw, but unfortunately he had not come alone. A blast skimmed past my ear and I threw myself to the ground, rolling a short distance before righting myself into a crouch and taking out the two wraith that were closest. One, two...three,_ four _more, I mentally counted as I turned my back and dived behind a nearby log. Wood splinters flew into the air as the wraiths closed in around me. I waited for a moment, caught my breath and then leaned over the log and quickly picked off two of the remaining four. The third was in my sights, but before I had time to fire he convulsed and fell to the ground. I frowned, what the? Vital seconds passed before I swung around to locate the remaining wraith, and I quickly bought him down with two shots to the chest. I experienced a moment of triumph that was suddenly cut short when the wind was knocked from my lungs and I was thrown backwards onto the ground. My mind raced as I gasped for breath, had I been shot? No, I realized - not shot, stunned! I looked around, trying to locate my assailant even as I struggled to remain conscious. My eyes fell upon a woman, tall with long auburn hair styled in braids. She wore a long fitted leather coat, deep burgundy colored against her pale skin. She was walking towards me, and I tried to lift my gun but the strength seemed to have gone out of me. Despite my efforts, I felt my eyes close as I unwillingly succumbed to my fate.

Sara POV

I'd witnessed some battles in my time, but never before had I seen a man take on seven wraith single handedly and come out on top. Honestly, I was more than a little impressed - which was why I'd taken the precaution of stunning him before I approached. Now I intended to rouse him and hopefully find out a little more about him - if for little more reason than to settle my curiosity. I figured I had a good ten minutes or so before I should be on my way again.

I checked each wraith for signs of life, satisfying myself that all were dead and no longer posed any thread before I approached the stranger. He lay sprawled out on his back, arms flung to the side where they had fallen. Even lying prone, I could tell he was a big man, muscular and toned, I estimated he would probably stand somewhere around the 6ft 5" mark. A dark vest that had seen better days covered his chest, and matching leather pants - equally as worn, hugged his body. His arms were bare, showing an expanse of tanned skin over taut muscle that I couldn't help but admire briefly, despite the circumstance by which they were displayed. Perhaps the most remarkable thing about him though was his hair - worn long and braided into thick dreadlocks, the strands fell about his face haphazardly, giving him a rather fierce look, especially when coupled with the scruffy goatee that sprouted from his chin. My eyes fell to his neck, and I noticed he had an unusual tattoo etched to the left side. It was small, but no doubt significant to him in some way. I neither knew nor recognized the pattern, and I mentally filed it as a question I would ask when I got the chance. Under my scrutiny, he had not moved a muscle and so I leaned over to gently slap the side of his cheek to try and rouse him. Before I knew what had hit me, I suddenly found my wrist snatched up in an iron-like hold. The man's eyes flew open, and I barely had time to register how brilliantly green they were before I was thrown onto my back, pinned to the ground beneath the full weight of his body.

"Who are you?" He ground out, his bared teeth millimeters from my face.

Momentarily stunned, I struggled for breath. "Get off me," I finally managed, bucking my hips and attempting to wriggle out from under him. He scowled and pushed his pelvis further into mine, grabbing and securing my free hand in the process. Great, now I couldn't move a muscle.

His hair fell forward and brushed against my face. "Who are you?" He growled again.

Pinned as I was beneath him, his deep voice reverberated through his chest and I felt each word he spoke penetrate my body. Now was obviously a good time to abandon my efforts to break free physically, I decided.

I opened my mouth, and resorted to words instead. Hopefully, if I showed enough anger, he might let me go, I reasoned. "I just shot a wraith, so I guess you could say I'm the person who helped save your hide," I spat.

He exhaled in a short snort, one that could almost have been mistaken for laughter. _Almost_ The look in his eyes told me he was anything but amused."That's not the way I remember it," he growled.

I shrugged, obviously he was still hung up on the whole stun thing. "Fine. You can thank me later then," I reasoned. "Now. Get off me!_"_

He stared at me for what seemed like the longest time before I felt his grip on my wrists ease. With the agility of a man half his size, he released me and sprang to his feet. Suddenly able to breath again, I pushed myself up onto my elbows and then into a sitting position. Too late, I saw him bend over and then felt a tug as he removed my gun from it's holster. I made an attempt to lunge after it, but the length of his arm far outreached mine, and so I was left with no option but to resign myself to being disarmed. I got to my feet and watched as he turned my gun over in his hand, studying it closely.

"I am not familiar with this kind of weaponry." He turned his gaze upon me, and once again I was surprised by how green his eyes were. "Where are you from?"

I sighed, regretting now my decision to approach him. If I was to answer his question truthfully, he most likely wouldn't believe me - or at the very least my reply would only lead to a flood more questions that I also couldn't answer. Caught in a quandary, I chose to ignore his questions and asked a couple of my own instead. "Who are you, and why are you out here alone?"

He looked at me, and I could tell he was sizing me up as an opponent. Obviously he must have deemed me to be relatively harmless - no doubt helped by the fact that he still held my gun - because he surprised me by answering. "My name is Ronon Dex. I'm a soldier from the planet Sateda." His voice was impossibly deep, and his gaze held mine squarely. I found that I couldn't look away. "Now your turn," he continued. "Got a name?"

Under his scrutiny, I felt myself begin to waiver a little. I'd come up against many adversaries - mostly of the wraith variety, as of late - but never had I encountered a man like Ronon Dex. Words like dangerous; powerful; unrelenting; swum through my mind as I looked at him, but in the end there was one that stood out above all -_ masculine_. I swallowed, and tried to meet his gaze squarely. "My name is Sara," I said.

"Sara," he repeated, and the word rolled off his tongue in such a way that I felt I was hearing it for the first time. Okay, it was definitely time I was on my way. Unfortunately, he didn't appear to share the same sentiment. "Is that it?" he asked, "Nothing else?"

I shook my head. "No. Just Sara."

He lowered his eyes, and for a brief moment I felt like I had disappointed him. "Look," I began to say, but broke off when he suddenly handed my gun back to me.

"You should be going," he said. "It's not safe for you here."

I reached for my weapon, but when I went to take it from his hand, he re-closed his fingers around it. "I should warn you though. If you ever turn this on me again, I won't hesitate to kill you."

I swallowed. There was no mistaking that he meant what he said. I met his eyes and suddenly became aware of how fast my heart was beating. "You have a deal," I managed to say, and was relieved when he released his grip. The familiar weight of my gun was reassuring, and I felt myself begin to smile. I chanced a glance at Ronon, but he wasn't looking at me any more. My smile froze as I noticed that his stance was now still and alert, his gaze focused towards a distant point in the forest.

"They're back," he whispered, his voice a deep rasp. I watched as he slowly drew out his gun, and as I followed his line of sight, I saw the unmistakable shape of a wraith slip between the trees towards us.

My heart sank. "They've found me," I breathed.

Beside me, Ronon raised his gun to take aim. "It's not _you_ they're here for," he explained. "It's me."

Before I could protest, he continued.

"There's a tracking device inside me. The wraith hunt me for sport." His voice was gruff and so tainted with disdain that I wasn't sure I had heard him right.

"So, your a... You're a runner then?" I whispered, as comprehension dawned.

He nodded curtly. "Sorry to have to break it to you. I didn't think they'd come again so soon or I wouldn't have kept you so long."

My mind was racing. "But you can't be," I whispered. "Because that's what I am. _I'm a runner too."_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you to the kind readers who left me a review, and also to those who added my story to their list of favourites. You all made my day. I just watched the episode 'Tracker' (one of my favourites so far) but unfortuntely it blew a couple of the ideas I had as no longer being original. Anyway, I've had a brain storm for a new direction and I think I've actually come up with a better story line than I started with. I hope you don't find this chapter too slow, these two are just starting to feel each other out and I don't want to push Ronon to far too fast.

**Ronon POV**

If it wasn't for my years in the military, I probably would have taken my eyes off my target right there and then.

_"But you can't be. Because that's what I am. I'm a runner too."_

What the hell? I fired two quick shots at the approaching wraith, and watched as he tipped and fell heavily to the ground. The forest echoed with gunfire for a few minutes and then gradually fell silent. My periphial vision told me that Sara still had her gun drawn, and for a moment we scanned the undergrowth together.

"Looks like a loner," she said at length.

"Best we leave the area, just incase," I replied, holstering my gun. I stooped to pick up the rabbit from where I'd dropped it earlier. "I know a place where we can rest up." Without waiting to see if she was going to follow or not, I turned and began to walk. The sound of her footsteps behind me told me that she was indeed following, and, not sure how I felt about that, I kept my pace brisk as I pushed my way through the undergrowth. Eventually my ears picked up the sound of the river, and I knew we were not far from the cave I had discovered earlier. The vegetation began to thin, and a moment later I stood upon the river bank. "We need to cross," I explained, pointing in the direction we had to go.

"Be with you in a sec," Sara said, and slipped the small back pack she was carrying off her shoulder.

I sighed. I wasn't used to having to wait for anyone other than myself. While Sara rearranged the items inside her pack, I stepped into the river. It would be better if I crossed first anyway. The water seeped into my boots as I began to wade. "See you on the other side," I said as I waded deeper. About half way across, the current got stronger, and I glanced back to see how Sara was coping. To my surprise, she was still on the riverbank, although she did have her backpack in place again. "Hey, you coming or not?" I called. As if my words had spured her to action, she suddenly took a kind of half skip and launched herself towards the river at a sprint. With an agility I had not thought possible, she skipped and jumped her way from rock to rock - some of which were very widely spaced apart - until she passed me stood upon the opposite bank.

She straightened up upon landing and turned to look at me. "Need a hand?" she called, and damned if she didn't flash me a smile.

I stared. There was no doubt she was a stunning looking woman. After seven years alone, it was only natural that I should find her physically attractive. I dragged my eyes from her, and stomped the rest of the way across the river. "Where did you learn to do that?" I asked.

She shrugged, "I don't know, it's just something that I do."

I couldn't help but wonder exactly what else she did. The wraith didn't make just anyone a runner as far as I knew, and I guessed there was a lot more to Sara than she was letting on. Content to let the subject drop for now, I turned and led the way towards the cave I had discovered earlier. Moments later, I located the narrow entrance and stood aside to allow Sara to enter first. After she passed through, I righted a tin can I had left outside and filled it with stones. Dragging a thin nylon cord across the cave enterance, I tied it to a sturdy tree branch. If the wraith came during the night, they would now have to wake my up before they got inside.

To my surprise, Sara had already begun to roll a few rocks together to make a fire pit, and between us we soon had a small campfire going. I picked up the rabbit and fed a stick through it. Propping the stick between two rocks, I set it over the fire to cook. The warmth of the flames penetrated my wet leathers, and I sat as close as I dared to help them dry out. Sara crouched down on the opposite side of the fire and removed something from her pack that looked like a bed roll. Laying it out flat, she sat down and crossed her legs. I braced myself for the barrage of questions and small talk that I imagined to be coming - but to my surpise, she produced a needle and thread and silently began to sew a tear in her coat. I watched her work for a moment, and then lounged back on a nearby rock to rest. Ten minutes later, when she still hadn't spoken - or even looked at me - I finally broke the silence.

"Where'd you get the needle and thread?"

She didn't take her eyes from her work. "From a settlement I visited."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Recently?"

"Seven months ago, when the Wraith first started hunting me," she explained. "I stumbled upon a settlement. The people there were kind, and they made me welcome." She squinted at the row of stitching she was working on, but I got the feeling it wasn't the sewing that she was seeing. "I repaid their kindness by bringing the wraith."

I shook my head and listened in silence.

"I was naieve back then," she said. "I thought that staying one night would do no harm. It turns out, I was wrong." She finished sewing, and broke off the strand of cotton. "The wraith decimated the village. Not a single person, other than my myself, escaped the cull."

I lowered my eyes. It was too easy to picture what she was saying. The running, the screaming... Innocent people being taken by the wriath. She could have been telling my own story. I looked at her again, and saw that, to her credit, she showed very little sign of emotion. "What did you do next?"

She held up her needle. "Once the wraith were gone, I entered the empty houses of the people who had been so kind to me, and I stole whatever I needed."

I nodded, saddened by her story, and yet equally impressed by her resoursefulness. "I've learned it's easier to avoid meeting people," I admitted, but stopped myself from saying anything more.

She looked at me, and a moment of understanding passed between us. "How long have you been living this way for?"

I pushed myself upright from the rock I was resting on. The rabbit was almost cooked, and I turned it over on the stick before resting it back over the fire again. "Seven years, give or take."

_"Seven years?"_ Sara's voice rang with shock. "But... how?"

I shrugged. I really didn't care to talk about it. "I take one day at a time," I eventually replied, and hoped she would let the subject drop.

She stared at me and shook her head in disbelief. "Wow," she said, "Seven years of killing Wraith. I bet they regret letting _you_ go."

I was so taken back that I actually laughed. This woman was certainly full of surprises. "I hadn't thought of it that way," I admitted. I drew my gun and spun it around in my hand a couple of times. "But if you're right, then I intend to make sure they go right on regretting it."

"So I see," she smiled and arched an eyebrow.

I re-sheathed my gun. "Want some dinner?"

"Please," she nodded. "It smells delicious."

I pulled the rabbit from the fire and tore off a back leg to hand to her. She balanced it on her bent knee, and I watched her place the needle and thread safely back inside her pack. I bit into the other leg and cleaned it to the bone in a few short mouthfuls. My hunger was not in the least satisfied, and so I picked up the front portion of the rabbit and began to eat that too. Sara had now produced a fabric pouch that was sewn into neat compartmets, and I watched as she opened one.

"Would you like some salt?" she asked.

I looked at the bare carcass in my hands - all that was now left of the rabbit. "Maybe next time," I said, and tossed the bones into the fire. I watched in fascination as Sara sprinkled a tiny amount of salt over the rabbit leg and then took a small bite. I gestured towards her pouch. "What else have you got in there?"

"Bits and pieces I've picked up," she said as she swallowed her mouthful. "I dabble in herbal medicine."

A thought suddenly crossed my mind, and I narrowed my eyes to ask, "You a doctor?"

She shrugged. "Not that I know of."

I frowned. What kind of answer was that? I needed to know more, especially if my idea was to play out, so I pushed her a bit further. "What do you mean? You either are or you aren't."

She finished eating and dropped the bones in the fire. "The wraith transmitter seems to have blocked my memory," she explained. She reached behind her head and fingered a spot near the base of her skull. "I can't recall a single thing about my life up until 7 months ago."

I leaned forward. She certainly had my attention now. "You have no memory?" I asked, and then I noticed she was still rubbing the same spot at the back of her head. "Wait... You don't mean to tell me that the wraith put the transmitter inside your head?"

She nodded, and my face must have showed my shock, because she lowered her hand and looked at me oddly. "Why?" she asked, and then, as if it had suddenly occured to her, "Where did they put yours?"

I grit my teeth, there was no way to soften the blow. "Mine's in my back."

"Oh," she said, her voice suddenly small. She was quiet for a moment and I could see her thinking things over. At length, she met my eyes, "Well, I guess wraith technology has advanced over the last seven years then."

I tried to hold her gaze, but it was impossible to look at her and not picture the ordeal she must have gone through to have the transmitter inserted. It had been bad enough for me, and I had flesh to cut through instead of bone. I grimaced, it was time for a change of subject. "Your name," I said, surprised at how soft my voice had suddenly become, "Is it really Sara?"

"I don't know," she replied, "It's what the wraith called me by. I'm afraid to let go of it, incase it's the one link I have with my past."

I nodded. "That makes sense. You _sure_ you're not a doctor?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Dead sure. Why?"

"Shame," I said as I pulled the short hunting knife from my boot and pressed my thumb lightly against the blade. It was sharp from constant honing and would be perfect for what I had in mind. "There's something I need you to do for me," I said.

She looked at me, and then at the knife in my hand. I flipped it between my fingers and passed it towards her, handle first. "I need you to cut the transmitter out of my back."

**Sara POV**

I was shocked. Surely he wasn't serious? "But... I've just told you,_ I'm not a doctor," _I protested.

His eyes locked with mine. He didn't reply, nor did he retract the knife. I got the distinct feeling that 'no' was not a word that Ronon Dex accepted gracefully.

"I'd barely know where to begin..."

"There's a scar," he said. "Cut the flesh open, and then dig the transmitter out."

I shook my head, "It's really not as easy as that," I protested.

"Sure it is," he said, "I'd do it myself, only I can't reach." His tone was matter of fact, as if he was talking about butchering an animal, rather than cutting his own flesh. I shuddered, he didn't seem to be getting it.

"I have no sedative... No disinfectant. Infection alone could kill you-"

"I know the risks," he said, his eyes still locked with mine.

I didn't know where to look. What he asked was madness. I tried again to make him see reason. "I have no knowledge of tendons or ligaments. If I cut in the wrong place, I could paralize you." I hoped the the bluntness of my words might scare him into reconsidering, but his gaze still didn't waiver.

"I'll take my chances."

"Look," I said, annoyed that he didn't appear to be hearing me, "There's no way I'm cutting you open tonight. I'm tired and I want to rest, so why don't we discuss this again in the morning?"

He tilted his head. "Take the knife, and I'll agree to sleep on it."

I sighed, he drove a hard bargain. "Okay," I said reluctantly, "But just because I have the knife, it doesn't mean I'm going to do what you ask."

He settled back on his side of the fire. "No, but you will after you think about it some more," he said with utter confidence.

I put the knife aside and curled my feet up beside me. It wasn't worth arguing with him more about it now, I'd save my strength for the morning. I pulled my pack over to use as a pillow and lay down on my mat.

Across the fire, Ronon placed his gun at his side and stretched out onto his back.

"Night," I said, and a moment later I was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I have to apologize for not putting the last chapter through the spell check. It was a huge oversight on my part, and I'm sorry for subjecting unsuspecting readers to my errors and typos. As I have mentioned, I don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own. In this chapter, Sara encounters a couple of situations that she feels she has never experienced before - to my knowledge, people with memory loss often know it they have performed a certain task or not. Her thoughts are based upon this. A big, big thank you to insanekittie19 for the lovely review. This chapter is for you, I hope you like it.

Sara POV

I opened my eyes and sat up. For a moment I wasn't sure where I was, but then I saw Ronon, crouched beside the campfire, and the events of the day before came flooding back to me. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. The cave was bathed in weak light, so I guessed it to be somewhere around 6am. A tantalizing aroma was coming from the campfire, and I leaned forward to take a sniff.

"Mornin'," Ronon said as he saw I was awake.

"Hi," I said, and pointed towards the fire. "Something smells good."

He prodded the embers with a stick, and a small, leaf wrapped package popped out.

"Breakfast," he said. "Hope you like mushrooms, they were all I could find."

I nodded, "Mushrooms work for me." After some of the things I had been forced to survive on lately, mushrooms sounded like heaven. I folded my legs to make myself more comfortable, and noticed the hunting knife beside my bedroll. Uh oh, my stomach did a flip flop as I recalled why it was there. I glanced at Ronon, and was relieved that he didn't seem to have noticed me looking at it. I picked up my pack and casually placed it down on top of the knife, obscuring it from view.

"I've been out and scouted the area," Ronon said, as he passed me the cooked mushrooms. "Couldn't find any sign of the wraith, but it's best if we keep moving just incase."

I blew on the mushrooms to help them cool. Ronon's use of the term 'we' told me that he obviously expected us to travel together, at least in the short term. I was pleased. It was a change to have company, and better still that I didn't have to fear my presence would make him a target for the wraith. I smiled, odd - the things I could find pleasure in these days! I picked up a mushroom with my fingers and dropped it into my mouth. It melted on my tongue, and I looked to see if Ronon was enjoying his. To my surprise, he didn't appear to be eating. "Where's yours?" I asked.

"I'm not hungry," he said. "Thought I'd wait until after."

Alarm bells went off inside my head. Oh dear, that didn't sound good. Although I feared I already knew the answer, I forced myself to ask, "After what?"

"After you remove the tracking device."

The mushrooms that I had been enjoying so much, suddenly sat like lead weights inside my stomach. I shook my head. No, this couldn't be happening so quickly. I watched in horror as he got to his feet and approached me. "Just take a look," he said as he tugged his woolen vest off over his head.

I couldn't help myself, I stared in fascination as he dropped the garment to the floor and stood before me bare chested. My mouth dry, I took in the broad expanse of his shoulders and his smooth, suntanned skin that dipped and curved in all of the right places. He didn't appear to be in the least self conscious, not even of the odd shaped scar on his chest - a scar very similar to the one that I also carried, I suddenly realized. I shuddered as I recalled the wraith who had tried to feed off me. It was one memory that I wished I couldn't recall.

Ronon dropped to a crouch in front of me, and I forgot about the wraith as my eyes admired how nicely his pectorals rippled under his skin as he moved. I swallowed and tried to focus my thoughts as he turned around to show me his back. Oh my, I was not surprised to discover that his back was equally as inviting to look at as his front! The thick muscles that ran down the entire length of his spine flexed invitingly as he shook his hair forward so that I could better see the scar on his upper back. I squinted at the ugly blemish and lamented the way it disfigured what would otherwise have been a perfect male body. Gently I bought my fingers up to the scar and touched it, finding his skin was surprisingly warm as I traced my fingers around the outline. I noticed a number of shallow scars that ran across the main incision and a nasty thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Did you... did you try to cut this thing out yourself?"

He nodded. "Like I said, I couldn't reach."

His voice was so matter-of-fact that I shuddered. What kind of desperation could have driven him to attempt such a thing? As I sought to understand, I absently caressed his skin with my fingertips. I must have sat like that for some time, because when his voice finally broke the silence, I jumped. "So, do you think you can do it?"

I shook my head. My gut reaction was no, I couldn't. But how could I tell him that, when he depended on me so badly? I leaned over and pulled out the hunting knife. I looked at the scar again, and then back to the knife in my hand. If I succeeded, he would be free from the life he was forced to lead. If I failed, well, at least I could say I tried. Of course, there was always the chance that he wouldn't be around to hear it, but I pushed that morbid thought to the back of my mind. "Okay," I said, "I'll try."

"Good," he replied, and got to his feet. "We'll do it over there," he indicated towards the rock he had used as a back rest the night before.

I tried not to stare at his naked chest, but even with knowing I was about to perform the closest thing to surgery that I had ever encountered in my life, it was almost impossible to keep my eyes off him. "What if the wraith come while I'm working on you?" I asked, as I attempted to focus upon the task at hand.

He faced the cave entrance and sat down upon the rock. "I've got it covered," he said, and withdrew his gun.

_Oookay. _It seemed my task was to remove the transmitter while he stayed conscious enough to fend off any wraith attack. I can't say I thought it was a fool proof plan, but given our options it would have to suffice. I opened my backpack and pulled out the needle and thread I had used the night before, along with a small pair of tweezers that I'd stolen from the villagers. I didn't have any lotion to put on the wound afterwards, but I hoped that the caner root plant stems I had in my pouch might work in a pinch. I held the tweezers and needle over the naked flame to sterilize them. Once they had cooled, I rested them upon my bed roll and then did the same with the knife. Now that I was as ready as I could be, I shifted the bed roll over to set beside Ronon. He sat completely motionless, but I was aware that his eyes followed my every move. I picked up a thread and began to feed it through the eye of the needle, but as anxiety got the better of me, my hands started to shake.

A large, warm hand reached out to cover my own, and I looked up into Ronon's eyes. "Thank you," he said, "For doing this."

His voice was soft, and his eyes sincere. Despite my misgivings, I knew that no matter what, I couldn't back out on him now. "Thank me when it's over," I said, and drew my hand away. I took my place behind him - because he was so tall I was able to stand to work - and picked up the knife. "This is going to hurt," I warned, as I lined the knife up against his skin, "And I need you to stay _very still_. I don't want to risk getting too close to your spine."

He nodded, so I rested my left hand upon his shoulder for balance and carefully pushed the knife downwards. The only sign he gave that he felt any pain was a slight lowering of his head, so I braced myself and cut a little deeper. Blood trickled down his back, but I didn't have time to wipe it up as I forced the knife deeper and widened the incision. He grunted, and I tried not to wince as I picked up the tweezers and gently used them in conjunction with the knife to part his skin. I got a brief glimpse of something shiny and metallic right beside his spine, before the incision filled with blood and it disappeared from sight. "I saw it," I said. "It's in deeper than I thought it would be."

He didn't respond, so I put the knife down and prepared to go in with the tweezers. A sudden wave of dizziness washed over me, and I had to pause for a moment before I could go on. I will not faint, I told myself sternly. Using my fingers, I pulled his skin apart as much as I dared and reached in with the tweezers. It was lucky I had managed to cut almost right on top of the transmitter, or else the blood flow might have prevented me from locating it. As it was, that first glimpse I got was enough to help me find it again now. I put the tweezers around the device and pinched down. Ronon swayed a little, and knew I was hurting him a great deal but I couldn't avoid it now. I closed my eyes and pulled, and the transmitter began to budge. "Almost there..." I whispered, and then grit my teeth and gave a sharp tug. To my surprise, the transmitter came out almost immediately. "I've got it!" I said in triumph. I held up the grisly object to inspect and then reached forward to show it to Ronon.

He leaned forward, and I thought he must have wanted to take a closer look, but then he began to peak, and a moment later he fell off the rock in a faint. I put the tweezers down and rushed to his side. His forehead was beaded with sweat, and he was out cold, but other than that he seemed to be okay. I didn't try to rouse him. If I was quick, I thought, I might be able to sew him up before he came around. I quickly stanched the flow of blood and passed the needle through his skin. I had never performed stitches on a person before, but I assumed it was a similar procedure to sewing up a coat. For some reason, I found this procedure to be more stomach churning than actually removing the transmitter, and by the time I tied the thread off in a knot, I felt distinctly queasy.

A loud noise suddenly came from the entrance to the cave. Dimly, I recognized the sound of the rock and can alarm that Ronon had set the night before. Blood pounded between my ears, somebody was outside! I looked around frantically for my gun and my heart sank when I saw it, lying on the other side of the campfire, completely out of reach. "No, no, no..." I muttered to myself as I tried to shake Ronon awake. He didn't stir, but my eyes latched onto the gun that he still held. I had no idea how to operate his weapon, but I snatched it up and pointed it towards the cave entrance a fraction of a second before a wraith stepped inside. He saw me immediately, and I lined Ronon's gun up with his chest, placed my thumb on top of the biggest button that I could find, and pressed down. The gun went off with such a blast that I was thrown backwards, and for a moment the cave swum around me as I fell to the ground. I somehow managed to scramble to my feet, and I was relieved to see that the wraith lay motionless on the floor. My breath coming in short, sharp bursts, I lifted the gun again and waited to see if any more would follow. The cave entrance was still and silent, but I was afraid to take my eyes off it for a few moments.

"Nice aim." The unexpected sound of Ronon's voice made me jump, and I realized the gun blast must have woken him.

"I'm not sure if there's any more of them yet," I whispered, and trained his gun back on the entrance.

Ronon pushed himself upright. He winced a little as he moved, and I guessed that the stitches in his back were pulling.

"Are you okay?" I whispered

He nodded, "Hand me my gun."

He seemed so focused that it was difficult to believe he had been unconscious only a couple of moments ago. I passed his gun back without question.

"Pack up everything you need," he instructed in a low voice. He extended the gun out in front of him and carefully approached the entrance.

I hurried to throw my bedroll and everything else into my pack. Ronon's vest and long leather coat I jammed through the top strap before I put it on my back. "What about your sword?" I hissed.

He looked at me for a second. "Cover the entrance," he said, and stooped to strap the sword to his back - an action that must have hurt, given his recent surgery. "Right," he said, and stepped in front of me to lead the way. "Let's go."

I followed him out of the cave to find the day was heavy with mist. Great, now any lurking wraith would be extra difficult to spot.

Ronon held his gun at eye level, sweeping his arm from right to left as he surveyed the area. I walked backwards, aiming to cover us from the rear. Nothing moved as we proceeded cautiously towards the river we had crossed yesterday. The terrain gradually became more open, and once we could move a lot easier, we quickly put a good distance between ourselves and the cave.

As soon as I felt we were at a safe range, I called out to Ronon to stop. "You need to rest," I said. He had no clothing to protect his upper body, and I was concerned that the sword on his back would rub his stitches loose. Under no circumstances did I want to have to sew him up again.

Ronon didn't slow his pace at all. "No," he said, "We need to go further."

I sighed, the decision was obviously not up for debate. I followed him for what I guessed to be about another hour, until he finally decided it was safe enough to take a break. While I perched on a nearby log, he unbuckled the strap that held his sword in place. "You got it out?" he asked, as he reached around with his arm to feel for the incision.

I smiled. "I did," I replied.

He looked at me, and I saw admiration in his eyes. "I knew I could count on you."

I glowed under his praise, but was surprised by the faith he put in me. "I'm glad _you_ were so confident," I said, "Myself, I had my doubts." I passed him his vest. "Here, put this on."

He dragged the worn garment over his head, and then reached to pull his dreadlocks through so they tumbled down his back. For the first time since I had known him, he looked at me and smiled - a real smile, not a smirk or a half grin, but an actual smile that reached his eyes and softened his features. "Thanks," he said.

I looked at him with a mixture of pleasure and envy. It was nice to know that I had been able to set him free, but it occurred to me that my presence was a liability to him now. The wraith might not be able to track him personally, but as long as he was with me, he would still be a target. I watched as his face suddenly grew more serious, I knew without a doubt that the same thought had just crossed his mind. I lowered my eyes. As briefly as I had known him, I would be sorry to see him go. "You're welcome," I said.

He pulled on his coat and strapped his sword back into place. After he had adjusted it to sit comfortably across his back, he turned and looked at me. "I guess it's time then..." he said.

I looked at him in resignation. I wasn't good at farewells, and I didn't want to drag out this one in particular any longer than necessary.

He removed his gun from his hip and spun it around in his hand a couple of times. I watched as he lined it up with an imaginary target and then lowered it to his side again. When his eyes met mine, there was a distinct sparkle of excitement in them. "... time for us to hunt some wraith," he said, and his smile grew wider.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you very much insanekitty19, hifield, madwhiskey and Alerix Slynn (who kindly back reviewed each chapter!) for your lovely reviews. Readers like yourselves are why I keep writing this fic. I'm sure I could tweak this chapter for at least another week, but I've decided to post it before I turn myself in knots over it. I have been so lucky in the past with two excellent beta readers and I miss them like crazy now! The last chapter belonged to Sara, so Ronon gets this one. Thanks again for reading :)

Ronon POV

Sara stared at me in shock. "Have you lost your mind?"

I re-holstered my gun and rested my hands upon my hips. Actually, I felt more clear headed than I had in a long time. "What makes you ask that?"

"Well, maybe because you just risked everything to be free from the Wraith, and now you suddenly want to go and _find_ them all over again?"

I shrugged. When she put it like that, I guess she did kind of have a point. I decided to humor her, "So, what would you suggest I do then?" I asked.

"You should leave and go someplace safe, somewhere where the wraith won't find you."

I shook my head. "Not gonna happen. Besides, even if I did, the Wraith bring death and destruction to every world in the galaxy. No place is safe - not for any of us."

Sara frowned. "Is it really that bad?"

I nodded. Sometimes it was hard to remember that she had no memory beyond the past few months. "I saw first-hand what the Wraith did to my home world. As long as they exist, they will continue to destroy others in exactly the same way."

"But..." Sara paused, and I got the feeling she was trying to find the right words for what she wanted to say, "Don't you have some place you want to go? People that you care about?"

I looked away. Her questions were innocent enough, but I wasn't prepared for the barrage of visions that suddenly assaulted me. Behind my closed eyes, I saw everyone and everything I cared about destroyed all over again. My comrades, my family, the woman I cared for... all of them taken from me by the Wraith. The gut wrenching torment that ripped through me made the stitches in my raw flesh seem like meager pin pricks in comparison.

"Ronon..?"

I came back to the present with a jolt. Sara was looking at me, and her voice was heavy with concern. I braced myself and turned to meet her eyes. "There is no one," I replied.

She must have guessed some of what I was holding back, because she was the first one to break eye contact. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

I shook my head. "Don't be. I won't be bowed by the Wraith - or by what they have taken from me." My voice deepened as my conviction strengthened, "I will fight them every inch of the way."

Sara tossed her pack over her shoulder and moved to stand beside me. I readied myself for further questions, and was surprised when she didn't appear to have any.

"I understand," she said simply.

I looked at her warily.

"But," she continued, "Right now you need to take it easy. I didn't cut that thing out of your back just to watch you die of infection. We need to find somewhere close by to make camp for the night."

I was surprised again by the strength in her tone. I wasn't used to taking orders. "It's too early," I protested.

"I don't care. If you don't rest up, your body won't have a chance to recover. You can't hunt the Wraith if you're burning up with a fever." She looked at me, "Besides, if you stay with me, the Wraith will be sure to come to_ you _anyway. All you need to do is be ready when they show up."

She was right, of course, but I didn't feel inclined to give in too easily. "Okay," I reluctantly agreed, "But we see or hear anything that even resembles a Wraith, rest time is over, alright?"

She smiled. "You've got a deal."

XXX

With my stomach full for the first time in weeks, I lay on my side next to the fire, my head propped up against my hand. "That was a great feed," I said, recalling the fresh water trout we had cooked. "What did you say those things you dug up were called again?"

"Cammas bulbs," Sara replied.

"Mmmm, filling," I said with a contented yawn. "We should let the fire die down. No point making it even easier for the Wraith to find us."

"I was thinking the same thing," Sara admitted. She looked around the forest clearing we were both seated in, "At least with the undergrowth being so thick and dry, we'll be able to hear anything approaching."

I nodded, although right at this moment I was content to put aside my hunting plans for a few more hours. I felt warm and relaxed, and more than a little sleepy.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Sara, said. She was sitting opposite me, her legs crossed on her mat in much the same way as the night before.

I met her gaze lazily, "Depends on what it is," I replied.

Her eyes - a cool shade of blue - held mine across the fire. "The tattoo on your neck," she said, "What does it mean?"

I thought for a moment, and then, relaxed as I was, I decided to explain. "It's my military rank," I said, "I fought with the Satedan army."

"Oh," she said with a nod, "I remember you saying you were a soldier, so guessed it might be something to do with that."

I watched as she absently untied the strings that held her braids. Her fingers worked their way up its length, separating the strands. "It's a shame I don't have a tattoo, or something like it myself. It might help me remember a bit about who I am."

My eyes narrowed with interest. "So, how does that work exactly? You remember things like which plants cure which ailment, but you don't know who you are or where you came from?"

She shrugged. "I know, it sounds crazy, but that about sums it up. It's like living in some kind of weird dream... Sometimes I'm not sure if I've done certain things before or not, and other times I discover skills that I didn't know I had."

I frowned. "Sounds confusing."

"It _is_ confusing," she admitted. She pulled a comb out of her bag and began to brush the tangles out of her hair. I tried to drag my eyes away, but found I could not.

"I keep hoping that if I can find a way to get the tracking device out, my memory will come back," she said.

"Makes sense," I replied. I thought for a moment and then pushed myself up into a sitting position. "You mind if I take a look at it?"

She looked at me in surprise, "There's nothing much to see," she said, "It's just a lump in my head. But if you want to have a look..." She lowered the comb.

I got to my feet and walked over to crouch down beside her. She tilted her head to the side and swept her hair over her shoulder, feeling for the lump with her fingers. "There it is," she said, indicating a spot at the base of her skull.

I reached out to touch the area with the pad of my right thumb, and she removed her hand. Her neck was long and slender, and my fingers brushed gently against her right cheek as I rolled my thumb over a small lump that was about the size of a small acorn. I pressed down gently, and when it didn't budge, I pressed a little harder. "It feels like it's attached to your skull," I said uneasily.

She nodded softly. "They injected me with something that solidified, and then fused itself to the bone."

I shook my head as I pictured the procedure. "It doesn't look like something that can be cut out," I admitted.

"I know," she nodded again.

My hands were still in her hair, and the motion caused the strands to move against my fingers. They felt like smooth, cool silk against my skin. Before I could pull away, she lifted her head and straightened up a little. I suddenly found our faces were very close together, and when she turned her head to speak, my lips was only inches from her cheek. She opened her mouth, but whatever she had been going to say was suddenly lost, as she too, became aware of how close we were. For a long moment we stared at each other, and my gaze shifted from her eyes to rest upon her mouth. Her lips were parted, I saw, and as I watched, she turned her head towards me a fraction more. I felt a sudden surge of desire, and for a brief moment I almost gave into it. Something held me back though. Memories of another woman - a woman who I carried in my heart - flooded my mind. The visions were so vivid, so real, that I knew I wasn't ready to let them go. I closed my eyes, and felt the spell between Sara and I break.

She looked away abruptly, and I got to my feet. "I'm gonna take a look around before it gets dark," I said, as I checked my hip for my gun. I felt it's reassuring presence, and without looking at Sara, I stepped into the forest and left the clearing. I walked at a brisk pace - one that required all of my concentration in order to negotiate the thick undergrowth. My senses were pricked for anything that moved or seemed out of place, but I could detect nothing out of the ordinary. Only when the shadows around me had faded to near pitch black, did I turn and begin to loop my way back to the camp. It was difficult to see where I was going and I had to use every bit of my tracking ability to retrace my steps By the time I neared the clearing, I was beginning to tire. Sara was right, I realized, I should have been taking things easy. "It's me," I called, a moment before I stepped out of the shadows

Sara sighed, and lowered the gun she had aimed at me. She looked pale and stressed, and I immediately felt bad for the abrupt way I had departed earlier. .

"Sorry," I said, not sure if I was meaning for scaring her now, or for what had happened earlier.

She shook her head. "Don't be."

I sat down in front of the fire again - not directly opposite her as before, but just off to her right. She still wouldn't meet my eyes, and it suddenly hit me that she seemed to be embarrassed. This, if nothing else, confirmed that she had been a willing participant in what had almost happened between us. As awkward as I felt, I knew that it was only fair I give her some kind of explanation. "Look," I said, and then broke of as I realized I still had no idea of what I was going to say. I thought for a moment and then started again. "Before," I said, "It had nothing to do with you."

She raised her eyebrows, and smiled wryly into the fire. "Thanks," she said, "That makes me feel so much better."

Her reply was so direct that I almost smiled. I'd never had time for people who didn't say what they meant. I stretched out my legs, crossed them at the ankles, and leaned back on my hands to do a bit of fire staring of my own. There was no easy way to say what I needed to, but if Sara and I were going to stay together for a while, then I knew I had to try. At least it might help us avoid misunderstandings in the future. "There was a woman..." I said slowly, "... back on Sateda."

Sara turned to look at me, and I could tell I had her interest.

"She was a nurse," I continued. "When the Wraith attacked our world, they came in such numbers that they over-ran our defenses. I stayed and fought, but it wasn't a battle that could be won." I paused and uncrossed my legs, drawing a knee up to my chest and resting my elbow on top of it. "I made arrangements to get her out safely."

Sara shifted her gaze back to the fire, but I was so deep in memory that I barely noticed. "But when I went to the hospital, she refused to go with me," I continued. "She said she wouldn't abandon those who couldn't be evacuated..." I squeezed my eyes closed as I saw again what happened next. "There was an explosion... She died, right there, before my eyes."

I fell silent, and a few moments later, Sara turned to look at me. "She was your wife?" she asked.

I shook my head slowly, but then thought better of it. "She was the closest thing to it," I replied. I pushed myself to my feet and retreated back to my side of the fire. I didn't feel like talking any more. Already, I had shared much more that I had intended to. I stretched out on the forest floor and pulled my coat around me. Despite my exhaustion, it was a long time before I managed to fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thank you once again to my loyal reviewers, insanekitty19, hifield and Alerix Slynn. I have re-read my first chapter and am already cringing about it in places. Hopefully I am getting better as I go on! Thanks for sticking with me :)

**Sara POV**

I watched as Ronon pulled his hair back from his face and secured it place by knotting two dreadlocks together behind his head. "We should travel separately today," he said.

I nodded. It wasn't _I_ who had shunned _his_ kiss last night, so for the sake of my pride, I was more than eager to put a bit of space between us for a while. The problem was, not being one to blindly follow orders, I didn't want to fall into the trap of constantly letting him make decisions for both of us by agreeing. I thought for a moment, and then decided that as I was the one who was still being tracked by the Wraith, it should at least be up to me to decide in which direction we would travel. "I'm going to cut back to the river and follow it upstream," I said.

"Fine by me," Ronon agreed without protest. I wondered if I had made too much of a deal over asserting myself, but decided it was probably for the better. Although he had so far proven to be more than capable of handling any situation, I wasn't quite ready to roll over and trust him with decisions that might effect my life just yet. "Okay," I agreed. "But don't come too close without warning me first, I don't want to shoot you by mistake."

He smiled for maybe the first time that morning. "I'll take my chances." His expression grew sober as he added, "But make sure you stay on guard. I might not always be close by."

I nodded. "I can take care of myself."

"I know," he said, and with that, he stepped into the forest and left me alone in the clearing.

As soon as he was out of view, I bought my hand to my face and heaved a sigh of relief. It was impossible not to think about the way I had all but thrown myself at him last night - and every time I did, I cringed with embarrassment. What had come over me? I might lost my memory, but I was sure I had never behaved so brazenly around a man who I barely knew before - a man who, as it turned out, still pined for his lost love. Ugh, it didn't get any worse than that. Thank goodness I didn't have to face him again now for at least a few hours. Hopefully, by the time we met up again, I would have put the whole thing behind me and could pretend it had never happened. I picked up my pack and began to walk, determined to put this theory into practice right away.

It didn't take me long to relocate the river. I filled my water bottle at its edge, and then began to work my way upstream. The river was not flowing at its maximum capacity, and the exposed rocks on either side made for relatively easy walking. Because of this, I was able to set a reasonably brisk pace. Other than the running water and my footfalls on the rocks, there was little else to be heard as I moved. Of all of the worlds I had visited so far, this one was by far the most desolate. That, of course, was why I had stayed for so long. I was unlikely to stumble upon a settlement and bring the Wraith down upon its people with every turn I took. If not for this small comfort, I would have left such a barren world days ago.

I walked steadily until mid afternoon. By now the river had run into a deep ravine, and two sheer rock faces rose on either side of me. The ravine floor was still reasonably wide however, so I didn't feel the need to turn back, or to climb my way out. Instead, I stopped and took a quick wash in the river, and then sat down on a large rock to rest in the sun. I fully expected Ronon to catch up with me at any moment, but as the sun slowly shifted position in the sky, he didn't appear and I began to worry. I waited a bit longer and then stood up and looked around. Maybe something had happened to him? I thought about the years he had spent on the run, and decided this was unlikely. Other possible scenarios played through my head, but I slowly considered and then discarded each one. No, when I thought about it, there was only one explanation for his absence that made any real sense. He had simply decided not to follow. As much as it hurt me to admit, I knew this was most likely. Now that he'd had time to think about his position, he probably saw how senseless it was to stay with me. And who could blame him? The grim reality that I was back on my own again settled over me like a heavy cloud, but I forced myself to start walking. I needed to find both food and shelter before night fell, and I wasn't going to achieve either by moping.

I had been walking for about an hour when I first noticed a deep hole in one of the cliff faces. Although it was still only late afternoon, it looked like such a perfect place to spend the night that I decided I could not pass it up. The cave was a short climb up the cliff face, but once I got inside, I had an almost perfect panoramic view of the area. I dropped my pack onto the rock floor and climbed back down into the ravine to search for something to eat. As the river offered the best possibility of finding anything, I set about turning over rocks in the hope of disturbing a lobster, or maybe even flushing out another trout.

"Need some help?" A deep voice behind me asked.

I pulled out my gun and spun around to find Ronon standing a few feet away. "Don't scare me like that," I snapped, angry that I had let myself be so vulnerable. Thank goodness it was he and not a Wraith who had startled me. "I could have shot you!"

"You didn't," he said with a lazy smile.

I frowned, too annoyed to feel any sort of relief at seeing him again. "What are you doing here anyway?" I demanded.

He held up his hands. "I just wanted to know why we had stopped," he explained. "Thought we'd push on for a bit longer, it's gonna be light for another couple of hours."

It suddenly hit me that he had been following me all day, and that he hadn't left as I had though. My anger subsided, but was quickly replaced with guilt that I had doubted him. "I found a cave," I said and pointed my hand towards the rock face. "I thought it would be a good place to stay for the night."

His eyes followed the direction of my hand. "Not bad," he admitted. I watched as he reached behind him and removed something that was attached to his belt. "Thought you might like these," he said, and dropped two dead rabbits at my feet.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Wow," I said, "Nice effort."

"It's been a good day," he admitted, and I noticed he was dangling something else from his fingertips. I leaned closer, and squinted a little as I tried to make out what I was seeing. It appeared to be two locks of fair hair, the kind that the Wraith grew on their chins. I pulled back in disgust.

Ronon smiled, and tossed them aside. "Got the first one this morning," he said. "The second one I killed while you were resting by the creek."

"But... I didn't hear a thing," I said.

He pulled out his hunting knife - the same one I had used to cut the tracking device out of his back - and held it up. "Hand to hand combat," he explained. "Much more exciting than straight out shooting."

I took a deep breath. Not only had he stayed, but he had also killed two Wraith that were tracking me.

Oblivious to my thoughts, he indicated towards the rabbits. "You want to cook those up, while I go back out?"

I nodded. It seemed like the least I could do.

"Good," he said. "I'll be back later." He strode towards a clump of trees, and moments later he was gone from view.

I picked up the rabbits and climbed back up to the cave. It took me about an hour to gather enough dry wood for a fire and to skin and prepare the rabbits to eat. By the time they were cooked, Ronon had joined me again. I noticed his hair was wet, and I suspected he had taken a swim in the river.

"Smells great," he said, as he flopped down beside the fire. "Got any more of those bulb things to eat as well?"

"A couple," I admitted, and dug them out of the fire with a stick to pass to him. We ate in silence for a few minutes, and I took the opportunity to bring up something that had bothered me ever since he had shown up again that afternoon. "You know," I said, as I watched carefully for his reaction, "You don't owe my anything. Just because I removed the tracking device, it doesn't mean you have to stay with me."

He took another mouthful of rabbit and gave a nonchalant shrug. "I never said it did."

"I know," I agreed. "But I don't want you to feel like you have to stay and protect me. I'm not your responsibility."

"Fair enough," he said.

I frowned. The man certainly wasn't one for talking. Although I didn't want to push, I felt the conversation was important, so I took a breath and forged my way on. "So why _are_ you here then? You can hunt the Wraith anywhere you choose," I said, "Why here, on this desolate world with me?"

He licked his fingers clean and picked up another rabbit leg. I knew he was tossing up whether to reply or not, so I sat back a little and gave him some space to reflect. "I haven't decided where else to go yet," he finally said.

I frowned. "But what about your home world?" I asked. "Surely you want to go back to Sateda?"

"If there's anything left to go back to," he said.

I thought about his reply. Was it possible the Wraith could have wiped out his entire people? If even half of them fought like Ronon, I felt it was unlikely. "But there must be survivors," I said. "It's been years since you were taken."

"I'm aware of that," he said, and tossed the bare rabbit bones into the fire. "When the time's right, I'll go back."

I nodded. He had endured so much that if he felt he wasn't ready to return home, I could respect that. In the meantime, having him around would probably benefit my chances of survival - not to mention easing my solitude a little.

He stood up and brushed the dust from the cave floor off his leather pants. "It's best if I rest elsewhere," he said. "You should be safe enough here for the night."

His words bought a tightness to my chest, and for the first time, I felt an attraction towards him that went beyond physical. No doubt this had something to do with the security I suddenly felt by knowing he was nearby, but it didn't completely explain the feeling away. I lowered my eyes, and began to roll out my bed mat. "Good night," I said to his retreating back. He kept walking, and if he heard my words, he did not turn around.

XXX

The next morning, I decided to follow Ronon's lead from the night before and take a swim in the river. For weeks I had existed on a quick wash whenever I found a suitable water supply, but now that somebody else was around I decided I could probably let my guard down for long enough to enjoy a decent swim. When I told Ronon of my plans, he obliged by taking his leave somewhere nearby in order to give me some privacy.

I used a clump of shrubs that grew right down to the river edge as a place to undress. Tucking my clothes, pack and gun beneath the bushes out of sight, I approached the water. My skin prickled with goose bumps as I waded my way out, but it had been so long since I'd felt entirely clean that I wasn't about to let he cold deter me. I took a deep breath and dived into the flow, swimming rapidly for a few strokes, and then resurfacing with a gasp. The water was freezing! I flipped over onto my back and did a brief backstroke to get my blood pumping before I stood up. The river really wasn't very deep, and the water lapped at the underside of my breasts as I did my best to take a wash without the aid of soap. I ducked back under the water and ran my fingers through my hair, shaking it out to help the current clean it. I repeated the process a couple of times, but when I came up after the third, I was suddenly struck with a feeling of unease. I crouched back down into the water, hiding my nudity as I paddled my arms back and forth pensively. My eyes searched the bank where I had left my clothes. Although I could see nothing amiss, I couldn't shake the unmistakable feeling that I was being watched. I took a mouthful of water, and spat it out again, wondering if Ronon was somewhere nearby. He didn't strike me as the kind of person to lurk in the shadows though, and when moments passed and he didn't make his presence known, my unease grew. I decided to cut my swim short, and cautiously approached the bank where I had left my clothes. I pulled out a small towel and quickly patted myself dry before dragging on my underwear and then my over clothes. As I zipped up my boots, I saw something that made me freeze with fear. My gun was no longer where I had left it. In fact - I felt a cold wave of panic ran down my spine - it was nowhere to be seen. A sound to my right made me spin around, and I saw to my horror, a man standing about five meters away. He wasn't particularly tall, but he was thickset. His long, dirty black hair hung in matted clumps around his face, and his jaw was completely obscured by a thick beard. If his presence alone was not enough to make my legs go weak with fear, the look in his eyes left me positively terrified.

"Well, well, well" he drawled, "What do we have here?" He ran his fingers through his beard thoughtfully, and took a step towards me.

Instinctively, I backed away. I knew he could easily overpower me for strength, but if I was quick, I might be able to out run him.

"What's a pretty thing like you doin' out here all alone, then?" he drawled, as his eyes dipped to my breasts.

"I'm not alone," I said, although my words came out as more of a whisper. Everything about this man screamed danger.

He chuckled, "Well, you got that right, 'coz you sure ain't alone now, sweet cheeks."

To my horror, a second man stepped out from the bushes on my left. He was bigger, and even more terrifying looking than his companion. A surge of adrenalin spurred me into action and I took off in a sprint, shoving my way through the bushes in font of me. I had gone about a dozen strides when a hand closed around my arm and yanked me sharply to a halt. I spun around, and punched my attacker in the jaw with all of my strength. The blow caught him squarely, and he released my arm in surprise. As if a switch had suddenly been turned on inside me, I pivoted again and kicked out, smashing the heel of my boot down into the flesh on his thigh. "Son of a..." he exclaimed, and staggered backwards.

I whirled to face the second man. My body position was low, and I braced my hands in front of me, ready to attack - something I had not known I was capable of until this very moment. As he came at me, I stepped to the side and bought my hand down across the back of his neck. He tried to reach out and grab me, but I was too quick. I kicked out with all of my force and caught him directly in the groin. He doubled over and fell to the ground. I was so taken back by what I had just done, that I didn't notice the first man was back on his feet. This time, he took no chance with his approach. He grabbed me from behind and when I turned to face him, he closed his fist and smashed it into the side of my face. The force was so strong that my head swum and I staggered forward. I reached out with my hands to stop my fall, but it was already too late. By the time I hit the ground, my eyes were closed and all I knew was blackness.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thank you once again to my wonderful reviewers. insanekitty, hifield, madwhiskey and Alerix Slynn - I would not be writing this if I didn't know you were reading. I didn't reply to you personally this time because I hoped to get this chapter out quicker. Sorry that I did not manage to do so! I hope you enjoy the next installment. All mistakes are unfortunately my own.

**Ronon POV**

I knew something was wrong as soon as I returned to the river. Sara's pack lay discarded on the river bank, its contents scattered across the rocks, and she was nowhere in sight. I drew closer, and extended my gun out front to cover myself. When nothing in the area moved, I bent to touch the towel she had discarded. It was not as damp as I had hoped, and this, coupled with the lack of wet foot prints where she would have left the river, told me that whatever had taken place must have happened some time ago. I cursed under my breath. I should never have left her for so long. Realizing I had a lot of time to make up, I left her possessions where they lay and stepped over her pack to enter the bushes behind. A number of footprints were imprinted in the soft soil, and I quickly recognized Sara's among them. There were two other sets of tracks, both of which were large and most probably belonged to decent sized men. I followed them a short distance and found an area where there appeared to have been a scuffle of some kind. Although I scoured the ground, I could not find any trace of Sara's footprints from this point on. I looked at the men's boot prints more closely. Both sets headed away from the area, but one appeared to leave deeper impressions than before. I didn't like to think about the implications, but it seemed likely that this person now carried Sara. As quickly as I could, I shoved my way through the undergrowth and began to follow.

**Sara POV**

I opened my eyes and tried to lift my head off the ground. It throbbed with such voracity that I had to lower it before I passed out again. My jaw ached, and when I tried to swallow, I discovered there was something wedged inside my mouth. Dimly, I realized I was gagged - and as I tried to move my hands, I found they were bound tightly behind my back. I took a couple of deep breaths to ward off my rising panic. If I lost my cool now, there was no telling when - or if - I might recover it again. I lay still for a few minutes as I tried to find the positives in my situation. Other than the fact that I was alive and didn't seem to have suffered any further injury since my abduction, I struggled to come up with much. I counted to five and tried to sit up, but the room began to swim and again I was forced to abandon my attempt. I lay on the floor until I felt strong enough to try again. This time I was more successful, and I managed to wriggle myself into a sitting position. My forehead broke out in a cold sweat, and I fought the urge to vomit as I looked around. I was inside a crude log cabin, I saw, the single room of which couldn't be more than a few meters square. Despite numerous gaps in the walls, a pungent odor seemed to linger inside, and the curtain was drawn across a solitary window high up the wall. There were limited items of furniture, a bed - against which I currently rested - and a worn red vinyl arm chair, were the only items I could see. My eyes passed over these and settled on the door that was set in the middle of the wall in front of me. Daylight streamed through the cracks on either side of it, and I realized I couldn't have been unconscious for long as the sun still appeared to be high in the sky. I stared again at the door. If I could make my way over to it...

I drew my legs up under me, and lurched unsteadily to my feet. The room swum again, but not quite as much as it had previously. Taking this as a good sign, I tentatively walked a couple of steps and stopped next to the door. Like the rest of the cabin, it was also made of heavy timber. A solid looking bolt was attached to the inside, but it was not currently in use so I leaned my weight against the door and gave it a push. It didn't budge and I realized it was probably locked from the outside. The gap between door and frame was large enough for me to look through, so I pressed my face against it and peered outside. The cabin appeared to be in a small clearing, and I could see another like it just off to my right. I switched position a little, and noticed two men sitting together beside a camp fire out front. Neither of them looked like the men who had taken me, but I didn't have long to think about this as I suddenly heard footsteps approaching. I stepped back from the door just as the lock began to rattle. Moments later the door was thrown open and I recognized the black haired man who had I seem by the river that morning. He stepped inside, and in a motion that sent chills down my spine, turned and slid the bolt home on the door behind him. I squared my shoulders and tried to look more defiant than I felt as he approached, but when tugged the gag from my mouth I shrunk from his touch.

He laughed. "Easy there," he said, "I ain't gonna hurt yer." His eyes stared me up and down. "Hmmm mmm," he muttered appreciatively. "Ain't you a sight for sore eyes."

My heart pounded, so much so that it dulled out the ache in my head and jaw. "I don't know who you think you are, but you'd better let me go," I warned, as I took a step away from him. This unfortunately bought me up against the bed, and I could feel the torn mattress pressing into the back of my legs.

He chuckled. "Sorry," he said, although he didn't look so in the least. "No can do." He raised his leg and rested it upon the arm chair to untie his boot lace.

I didn't wait to see what else he intended to remove. As quickly as I could, I lunged towards the door. My hands were still bound, so I dropped to my knees and felt for the bolt with my teeth. I managed to grasp it and slide it part way across before the man grabbed me by my hair and tugged roughly back across the room. I screamed and kicked out, putting up as much of a fight as I was able, given my bound hands. To my dismay, I heard a roar of laughter from the men outside. "Good on yer, Stewie. You show 'er who's boss," one man called. Another let out a loud whoop. "Don't tire her out too much. It's my turn next."

My blood turned cold. I would rather die than be passed around between these men like they had planned. I found myself thrown forcefully onto the bed while the man finished removing his boots. "You'll have to excuse the others," he said with a sly grin, "It's been a while since any of us were in the company of a lady such as yerself. Don't worry though, I'll make sure they wait their turn."

My mind spun as I scrambled to find something -_ anything _- that might delay what he planned to do. "How long have you been here for?" I heard myself ask.

"Couple 'a months," he shrugged. "Me and the boys broke out of prison back on Equador. Came across this abandoned settlement a few weeks back. Been living here ever since."

I did not recognize the name of the world he mentioned, but it didn't surprise me to learn that he was a convict. He began to undo his belt, and in my fear I resorted to the one thing I had left to throw at him, "The Wraith are hunting me," I told him. "They'll come for me, and they'll kill you and your friends in the process."

He laughed. "Is that so? Well, they'll just have to wait their turn then, won't they?" He stepped closer and stood over me upon the bed.

Oh, God, I realized he wasn't even going to untie my hands. He fell on top of me and I opened my mouth to scream again, but he silenced me with a rough kiss. His breath was foul, and I twisted my head away as his tongue tried to force its way into my mouth.

"A real wildcat, ain't ya?" he breathed against my cheek. I felt his tongue run a moist trail from the corner of my mouth to the lobe on my right ear, and his voice dropped to a whisper, "You fight all you want. Just know that I'll enjoy what's comin' all the more." Through my clothes, his hand stroked my breast and I felt him fumble for the zip that ran down the side of my top. I tried to fight him off, but he was so heavy that my attempts were totally ineffective. Just as I realized I couldn't stop him, he suddenly stopped and lifted his head to look towards the door. It was then that I heard the gun shots outside.

The man cursed and rolled off me. I sat up behind him, and even as he reached for his gun I felt hope flare through me. Whoever - or whatever - had fired the shots, was approaching the door to the cabin. Friend or foe, I knew I would rather take my chances with the unknown than succumb to my fate in the cabin. As the footsteps stopped outside the door, I charged the man from behind and knocked him off balance. His gun went off and the blast hit the cabin wall at the exact time as the door was knocked from its hinges. Sunlight burst into the room, and I looked up to see Ronon standing in the door way. He took one look at the man, with his boots off and belt undone, and he guessed his intentions. I watched his lip curl up in distaste, and he raised his gun and pointed it directly at the man's chest. I jumped as the sudden blast echoed around the small room, and watched in fascination as the man fell silently to the floor. Ronon was beside me immediately, and I felt him cut through the rope that bound my hands. "You okay?" he asked, his eyes quickly passing over me and resting again upon the open door. Although okay was the last thing that I felt, I found myself nodding. All I wanted was to get out of the cabin as fast as possible. Everything else could wait until later. I picked up the dead man's gun and followed Ronon to the door. "Clear," he said, and motioned me to follow him outside.

The sun was so bright in contrast to the dim cabin that I had to squint for a moment until my eyes adjusted. I noticed the two men I had seen earlier were slumped at awkward angles around their campfire. I didn't feel an ounce of pity for them, or for the way they had died. Their presence did remind me about the second man I had encountered at the river that morning though. "There's at least one more of them," I warned Ronon, as we skirted around the side of the cabin and entered the forest.

"Three more, by my count," he replied without breaking his stride. "None of who are likely to bother us again."

Despite the warm sun, I shivered. That made six men in total. There was no way I could have fought them all off - I doubted I could have even managed the first man, especially with my hands tied. I could still taste his breath in my mouth, and my lips ached from his rough kisses. The memory of him touching me made my stomach turn, and I stumbled a couple of steps into the bushes and bought up what small amount I had eaten that morning. My head swum again, and coupled with the pain in my jaw, I had to rest a hand on the ground to steady myself. I felt Ronon stop and look back to see why I wasn't following. Embarrassed by my weakness, I turned away so that he couldn't see my face.

"Here," he said, and I opened my eyes to find he was holding a water bladder out to me. I accepted it gratefully and took a sip to rinse out my mouth.

"You able to walk?"

I nodded, and lurched unsteadily to my feet. Suddenly I felt cold to the bone, and my body began to tremble.

Ronon holstered his gun. Before I had time to protest, my legs were swept out from under me as he lifted me into the air. "Put your arm around my neck," he instructed as he bought me to rest against his chest. I no longer seemed to have the strength or the inclination to resist, so I obliged and then leaned my head against his shoulder. As my body shivered uncontrollably, I closed my eyes and let Ronon's long, easy stride carry me further into the forest.

**Ronon POV**

I had seen symptoms similar to those that Sara displayed in men on the front line of battle. Tremors, glazed eyes, the inability to think rationally - all were indicative that she had gone into shock. How badly effected she was, I didn't know, but given the likely hood of a Wraith attack, I didn't want to risk her condition getting worse. She shook and trembled as I walked, but I didn't stop to check on her. I wanted to put as much distance between ourselves and the cabins as quickly as I could, incase there were more men in the area. As the minutes ticked by and I covered some ground, I felt the tremors gradually leave her body and she relaxed against me. Her breathing became long and even, and it fanned against my neck as she slept.

It was some time later when I felt her lift her head from my shoulder and look around. "Put me down," she said, almost immediately. I stopped walking and carefully lowered her to her feet. She held onto my arm for a moment until she was sure of her footing, and then slowly let it go. "Thanks," she smiled.

I smiled back, relieved to see how quickly she seemed to have recovered. "How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Much better," she said, and then winced as she reached to touch her jaw. "Ow," she said, "I guess I'm going to have a pretty decent bruise for a while though."

I nodded. Her cheek already carried a dark shadow - and no doubt it would look worse before it got better, too. I looked at her closely. It wasn't my place to ask about her ordeal, but I hoped the bruise to her jaw was the worst of her injuries.

She looked around. "I lost my pack?"

"Sorry," I shrugged, "I didn't have time to pick it up."

She shook her head. "Don't apologize. I can do without it if I have to." She met my eyes, "Have there been any Wraith?"

It seemed she didn't want to talk about what had happened that morning, so I followed her lead. "Not a one all day," I said.

"That's unusual," she mused. "But it has happened that way before. Sometimes I'll be hunted for weeks, and then suddenly I won't see a Wraith for a couple of days straight. Have you noticed that too?"

I gave her a wry look. "At first they used to hunt me one on one," I replied, "But the last few months before I met you, they started to come for me in greater numbers."

"So, that explains why there were so many the first time I saw you," she said thoughtfully. Her eyebrow arched in mock amusement, and she added, "I guess that's what I've got to look forward to if I manage to survive for as long you."

I wasn't sure how to reply to that, and for a moment we lapsed into an awkward silence. "You want to stay here for a while, or press on?" I asked.

She sighed. "There's probably not much point in walking any further today. If the wraith come, then they come. At least if we stop I can sit down and rest while I wait for them."

I nodded. The undergrowth was thick and dry enough to warn us of anything approaching, and a number of large rocks scattered around the area would be suitable for us to sleep behind. "Okay," I agreed, 'It will be dark in a couple of hours anyway. We should clear an area and get a fire going."

XXX

Later that night, I lay awake next to the fire embers. Across from me, Sara mumbled something in her sleep and turned over. She no longer had her bed mat, and for the first time since I met her, she slept on the ground. I wondered if this was why she was so restless - usually she slept without a sound. A moment later she called out again, and I sat up and looked at her. She sounded distressed, and I wondered if I should wake her. When she started to cry, I got up and walked around the fire towards her.

"Sara," I whispered, and crouched down to gently touch her shoulder. Sara, wake up."

She flinched away from me. "No..." she said, and lashed out at me with her arm. "No!"

I caught her wrist and gently held her arm still. "Hey," I whispered, as she began to struggle against me, "It's alright... I've got you."

She struggled more forcefully and then suddenly her eyes flew open and she looked at me. Realization dawned on her face, and her arm went slack in my grip. "I'm sorry," she whispered, and turned to hide her face from me. "I was having a bad dream."

I sat down and reached out to pull her towards me. She resisted for a brief instant and then gave in. Maybe because I had carried her for so long that day, it felt natural for us to be close again. Her head found the hollow of my shoulder and I slipped my arm around her waist.

"I can't keep going on like this," she whispered after a moment.

"I nodded. "Yes you can. You're strong."

She shook her head. "I've always been terrified about dying at the hands of a Wraith," she said, "But after today... Well, suddenly that doesn't seem so bad any more."

I clenched my hand into a fist. The scene I had walked in on inside the cabin - the man with his boots off and his belt undone - had played on my mind all day. It worried me what he might have forced Sara to endure. He had not deserved the honor of such a quick death.

"You don't know what those men had planned," Sara whispered. "If they had gotten their way..." She shook her head against the memory. "I would rather be dead than sitting here now."

I released the breath I wasn't aware I was holding. "So... What I walked in on - it didn't go any further than that?"

She shook her head. "No. No further."

I held her a little tighter, and rested my chin on top of her head. "I'm glad," I admitted.

She didn't respond, but I felt her move a little closer. We lapsed into a comfortable silence for a short time, and I wondered if now would be a good time to bring up and idea that had come to me last night. "I've been thinking," I said at length, "About that thing in your head."

Sara was soft and pliant in my arms, and when she didn't reply right away, I wondered if I should have let the matter wait until the morning. As I hesitated, she lifted her head and looked at me. "Hmm?" she inquired.

I had her attention now, so I spoke my mind. "We know nothing about how to remove or deactivate the device," I said, "But the Wraith who track us might."

Sara's interest picked up. "What are you suggesting?"

"I thought if we caught a Wraith, we might be able to force a bit of information out of him."

She gave a dry laugh. "Assuming he knows anything about what we need to ask, of course."

I nodded. "There's a good chance he won't know enough to help," I admitted, "But it's worth a go. For all we know, he might be able to deactivate it himself."

"I should be so lucky," Sara replied. "Anyway, what makes you think a wraith would be so willing to help us out?"

I stared over her head into the blackness of the forest. I had already asked myself the same thing. There was only one way to get the information we needed. The infliction of pain could break even the bravest of soldiers. I assumed the same would apply to the Wraith. "Don't worry about it," I said, "If he knows anything, I'll get him to talk."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thank you to insanekitty19, madwhiskey, hifield, Aria DeLoncray, and to my new reader Cry 4 Me, for your lovely reviews. I have hoarded each and every one of them! Actually, they are great to re-read if I find myself having trouble getting motivated! All mistakes in this next chapter are once again my own.

Disclaimer (because I haven't written one yet): Stargate Atlantis and its characters are not my own. Sadly, neither is Ronon.

**Sara POV**

It was four days before we saw another wraith. The irony of this was not lost on me, and I couldn't remember a period in time when I had gone so long without seeing one. Since the night when Ronon had woken me from my dream, we had taken to sleeping on the same side of the fire. Not side-by-side exactly, but close enough to be aware of one another's presence. I happened to be awake and taking my turn on watch early one morning when I heard a disturbance at the entrance to the cave in which we were staying. I was about to reach for Ronon's gun - the one I had stolen from the convicts could not be set to stun - when he suddenly sat up and reached for it himself. Years of being on the run had made him into a very light sleeper and when the wraith stepped into view, he was ready for him. I put my hands over my ears as the gun blast echoed around the cave and the wraith slumped to the ground. Ronon was on his feet in an instant, and I followed him over to where the wraith lay.

"How long do you think he'll be out for?" I asked.

"It can vary," he said as he kicked the wraith's gun aside. "Usually around five to ten minutes." He extracted his knife and cut into the leather cloak the wraith wore.

I watched him for a moment, and then asked, "What are you doing?"

"We need something to tie him with," he explained. He pulled a second knife from the side of his boot and handed it to me. "Cut the other side into strips and knot them together."

I obeyed, and for a moment we worked together in silence. The wraith's cloak was thick, and the leather binds would be strong. I tied the lengths I had cut together and handed them to Ronon. He began to wind them around the wraith's legs, and I winced as he tugged them tight and knotted the ends. "That should hold him," he said as he got up.

I looked at his handy work, and agreed that the wraith would not be able to move anywhere in a hurry. "What about his hands?"

"He can't run with his hands," Ronon replied. "And I don't plan on giving him the chance to use them against me either."

I nodded. Well, that was a comfort to know. I guess I just had to hope that everything went according to 'plan' then. "What do you need me to do?" I asked.

He held up his knife so that the blade glinted in the small amount of daylight that had begun to filter into the cave. "Nothing," he said, and I watched him press his thumb against the edge to test for sharpness. He took a couple of steps backwards and leaned his tall frame against the wall of the cave. I had never seen him so focused before, and the emotionless way he stared at the wraith made me more than a little apprehensive. For the first time, I began to wonder if we were about to make a mistake. If the way Ronon casually lifted his leg and rested his foot against the wall was anything to go by, it appeared he did not share my concerns.

A short time passed and the wraith began to stir. I tightened the grip I had on my gun and pointed it towards him, if anything went wrong I would shoot him without hesitation. Ronon pushed himself away from the wall and moved to stand over his captive. I hung back and watched, not sure what to expect. It took the wraith a moment to come fully to his senses, and when he did, he sat up and looked around. His eyes passed over me and came to rest upon Ronon. Ronon give him a smile, a wide one that did not reach his eyes. "Hi," he said.

The wraith struggled to his feet. If he was afraid, he did not show it. He met Ronon's hostile gaze straight on.

"I've got a couple of questions for you," Ronon growled as he extended his knife towards the wraith's chest.

The wraith stared at him with such open contempt, that I feared any moment Ronon might forget his intentions and just kill him outright. I watched as he took his eyes off Ronon - a move that made him either very brave, or very stupid in my opinion - and stared at me. He seemed to be assessing his options, and I saw him glance at the gun in my hands and linger on his own that lay on the ground behind me. Although he still had his feeding hand free, Ronon held a knife to his chest and I had him at gun point. He was trapped, and he knew it. I watched as he turned back to face Ronon. There was only one weapon he had left - his voice - and he straightened up to use this to his advantage._ "Ronon Dex," _he said slowly, the hollow tone of his voice resounding around the cave. "I must confess, many of us thought you were dead."

Ronon's smirk had faded, but I watched it return now with slow deliberation. His eyes never left the Wraith's face. "Not last time I looked."

"So I see," the wraith replied. He turned his head to look at me again, but his words were spoken to Ronon. "Well, this in an interesting development..." he said, "I see you have teamed up with our friend, Sara."

I looked at him in confusion. It hadn't occurred to me that the wraith we caught might know anything about me personally. I suddenly wondered what else he might know. "You know who I am?" I asked.

The wraith laughed, an empty sound that echoed off the walls. "Come now, Sara," he said, "Everyone knows who _you_ are."

I frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

"I guess you won't have heard the news, holed up out here like you appear to be..." He continued, his eyes cold as he held me with his gaze.

The look must have made Ronon uncomfortable, because he shifted his knife from the wraith's chest and held it against his neck. "What news?" he growled.

The wraith ignored him, and addressed his reply to me again. "Your father - the almighty leader..." He said, and his tone dripped with sarcasm, "It is my pleasure to inform you that he died a few weeks back."

I winced. I had a father? He had died? "How would you know something like that?" I asked.

"He died during an attack on one of our hive ships," the Wraith said. "We hung his body in the control room for a week. He made quite a trophy."

"He's playing with your head," Ronon warned me through gritted teeth. "Don't believe a word he says."

I shook my head. Did he not understand - I had spent seven months knowing nothing about who I was or where I came from. I had to hear what the Wraith had to say now - even if it did turn out to be lies - I needed to know _something._ My mind struggled to process what I had just heard. The wraith had killed my father? He was a leader? A leader of what? "You said that everybody knows who I am," I said, and from the corner of my eye I saw Ronon hold up his hand to cut me off. I ignored him and continued, "Why is that?"

The wraith stared at me, and then suddenly threw back his head and laughed. "You mean you don't _know?" _

Ronon shot me a look that made me wither where I stood. I suddenly realized my mistake. The wraith had not known that I had lost my memory - and now I had just given him a reason to suspect.

He looked at me with disconcerting eyes and I could almost see his mind piecing things together "That is simply poetic," he said a moment later. "We implant you with a tracking device in the hope you will lead us back to your people, and you do not even know who they are!"

Ronon silenced him with an elbow to the face. "Enough," he said, his tone filled with menace. "From now on, you speak only to me."

The wraith straightened up and met Ronon's gaze with his own. "Very well," he said. "I assume you did not keep me alive for a friendly chat - although I must confess to my enjoyment of it - so, what exactly is it you want?"

"The tracking device - the one in Sara's head - how do we get it out?"

I held my breath. So much hinged around this question.

"It is not possible," the wraith responded. "The device is fused to her skull. To remove it would most likely kill her."

I felt my hopes plummet, but Ronon was not deterred as easily. "Okay," he said, "So tell me how we deactivate it then."

"That is only possible on board a hive ship."

Ronon leaned so close that his face was only millimeters from the wraith's. _"I don't believe you."_

"Believe what you want. It is the truth."

Ronon did not shift his gaze. "Sara...?" He called my name.

I raised my brows in surprise, "Yes?"

"You should leave," he told me.

I frowned. What? Why would I want to leave? The wraith might still be able to tell us something more.

"Leave" Ronon repeated, and I suddenly felt the air in the cave begin to change. _"Now."_

I watched him press the tip of his knife into the flesh on the wraith's neck, and suddenly I understood what he was saying. A shiver ran down my spine. Things were about to turn ugly.

As if I had already obeyed his order and left, Ronon addressed the wraith in a low tone. "Now," he growled, "We can make this as easy - or as hard - as you like."

I lowered my eyes. Could I walk away and let this happen? Did I have a choice?

I left the cave just as the wraith let out his first roar of pain.

**Ronon POV**

In the time it took for the wraith to die, I could easily have killed a dozen or so of his kind. This would have been my preference - numbers first - but a quick kill would not have given me the information I sought. I wiped the blade of my knife clean and re-sheathed it as I stepped out of the cave. I wondered if Sara was still nearby, and when I saw her standing a short distance away with her back towards me, I walked over and stood behind her. "It's over," I said.

She nodded. "I guessed as much."

I waited for her to ask if I had learnt anything. I knew she wasn't in favor of what I had done, so I felt it important that she inquire, rather than just have me offer up the information. That way, I knew I had her support, however reluctant it might be given.

"So?" she turned to face me a moment later.

I stifled a smile. That had not taken anywhere near as long as I expected. I added it to the list of things I already admired about her, and began to speak. "According to the wraith," I said, "The transmitter in your head was developed by a man named Merric Tremain. He farms cattle on the world, Glapson."

She frowned, and looked at me with doubt in her eyes. "That doesn't make sense. What would a cattle farmer want with a tracking device?"

I shrugged. That was not something I had felt important enough to ask. "The wraith stole the design from this man, and then put it to use for their own purposes."

Sara looked at me for a moment and then laughed. "You actually believe that?"

I shook my head. "Not entirely..."

She sighed. "So, the whole thing was a waste of time then."

I watched to catch her reaction as I added, "...It does give us something to go on though."

"What? You mean you want to follow this up?"

I nodded.

"You're going to believe what the wraith told you, and have us go traipsing off to..." she struggled to recall the name of the world, and then continued as it came to her, "...to _Glapson_ to find a cattle farmer? Do you even know where Glapson is?"

I nodded again, and watched as she slapped her palm against her forehead. "Wait. Let me guess," she said, "The wraith gave you the gate address too?"

I frowned. "Gate address?"

"Yes, gate address," she said, and then added as she saw my blank expression, "The circle, the portal... Whatever it is you want to call it."

I suddenly guessed what she was referring to. "The ring of the ancestors," I supplied.

She nodded. "Whatever. My point is, wherever the wraith told you, it's most probably a trap, you realize?"

"I'm aware of that," I said. She did not know it, but I had already given great consideration to all of the points she bought up. "I do not fear the wraith."

She exhaled in frustration. "Okay," she said, as she changed her line of attack, "Assuming that the wraith told you the truth, I can't - I _won't_ risk going to a civilized world, not with this thing still in my head."

I looked at her evenly. This was the hardest part of what I planned to do. "You might not be able to travel to civilized worlds," I pointed out, "But I can."

For a moment she was speechless, and I watched her eyes search sightlessly from side to side as she slowly began to understand what I was saying. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I can't let you do that," she said.

"You don't have a choice," I said. "Not unless you want to spend the rest of your life like this."

"Don't tell me what my choices are," she replied, and I saw anger flash in her eyes. "How I live is my own cross to bear. I'm responsible for enough deaths already, I won't sit back and let you add yourself to the list."

"That was not my intention," I assured her.

She shook her head, and her anger suddenly turned to resignation. "This is because you still think you owe me, isn't it?" she said.

I held her gaze. As much as I wanted to tell her no, I knew she would see through the lie. There was no point in denying it - despite everything I had said on the matter, I _did_ feel like I owed her. I nodded. "Partly," I admitted.

She closed her eyes and looked away.

"But," I stepped towards her, "I _want_ to do this, Sara. What the wraith have done to you - what they have done to both of us - it's not right," I told her. "I believe in that, and I fight for what I believe in," I said. "I'm a soldier, it's what I do."

Her eyes were still downcast. "I can't go with you," she whispered.

I nodded, and for a moment we stood together in silence. "Come with me to the ring." I said at length.

She was silent for a moment, and then I saw her nod slowely. "Okay."

I heard her footsteps fall in behind me as I began to walk. The ring was a good couple of hours away, but it seemed to appear much sooner than I expected. I stopped in front of it and Sara appeared beside me. "How do you intend to find me again?" she asked.

I pulled the transmitter the wraith had carried from my coat pocket and showed it to her. "So long as you stay on this world, I'll find you," I told her.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" she asked, one more time.

I turned to face her. The truth was, I didn't want to leave her - not here, not alone - but it was a chance I had to take. "I'll find help," I said. "I promise." She looked up at me, and for the second time since we had met, I experienced the urge to kiss her. This time I didn't fight it, and I bent my head and placed my mouth down upon hers. The kiss was soft and brief, but when it was over, my lips lingered above hers for a long moment more. This was a woman I could care for, I realized. I stepped back and turned towards the ring. "Be careful," I said, as I punched in the address the wraith had given me.

She looked at me, and for the first time I found I couldn't read her expression. "You too," she whispered.

The ring opened beside me and it was to leave. I dragged my eyes away from her and stepped into the unknown.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you to insanekitty19, hifield, Alex Slynn and Cry 4 Me for your reviews. I would not have bothered to continue with this fic if I didn't know you were reading. This chapter is plot heavy so I have done my best to get the next chapter ready to go out in the next couple of days. Things are going to heat up for our couple very soon. :)

**Ronon POV**

The moment I stepped out of the ring, I heard the drone of a wraith dart overhead. I threw myself into a roll and just managed to avoid the beam that swept the ground beside me. There seemed to be gunfire all around me, and I stayed low as I discovered I was in the middle of a battle of some kind. Men in body armor - not unlike the kind I had worn on Sateda - shouted orders to each other as they fought in skirmishes against wraith. From what I could see, the men were out numbered but appeared to be holding their own. A wraith came towards me and I suddenly found myself drawn into the fight. I shot him, and managed to run my sword through two more before my presence was noticed by the men around me. One of them, a tall man with dark blond hair that reached to midway down his back strode towards me. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded, as he thrust his gun in my face.

I swung around and pointed my own gun towards him. He was tall - about 6ft 3" to my 6ft 4" - and of strong, athletic build. "I could ask you the same thing," I growled. "But how about we finish the wraith off first?" The man glared at me, and we faced off for a moment, neither of us prepared to back down. The fight went on around us, and I sensed he was as eager to return to it as I was. In almost perfect unison, we turned our guns away from each other and confronted the wraith together. By now, they formed almost a complete circle around us but as we both opened fire upon them, their numbers quickly dwindled. I drew my sword to fight those that remained, and beside me, the blond man did the same. We fought back to back, and I watched him from the corner of my eye. His moves were precise and accurate, and he attacked with such ferocity that I quickly realized he was no ordinary foot soldier. He must have been watching me also, because when the last wraith fell, he turned and looked at me with a newfound respect. Before he could say anything, two men - both dressed the same as the man beside me - burst into view. One carried a large gun on his shoulder, and he set it on the ground and pointed it towards the sky as a Wraith dart flew over head. The gun went off with a blast and it clipped the side of the dart so that it spiraled out of control. I felt the impact as it crashed into the ground somewhere behind me. A cheer went up from those around me, and I saw three triangular shaped ships sweep by overhead.

The man grinned. "Those are our_ sparc_* fighters," he explained, as he indicated towards them.

I raised my eyebrows, impressed by both the organization of the men around me, and the depth of their resources. "Are you from some kind of military operation?" I asked.

He nodded and extended his hand towards me. "General Erik Thorn," he introduced himself.

I noticed that now the wraith had been killed, I was surrounded by his men. Although they didn't appear hostile, they out numbered me by about twenty five to one, so I saw no option but to reciprocate the introduction. "Specialist Ronon Dex," I said, as I took his hand.

"Military..." the man cocked his head with interest. "Where are you from?"

I kept my answer as brief as possible. "Sateda."

He looked at me, and I got the impression he was deep in thought. "You fight well, Specialist Ronon Dex." He turned to his men, "Time to move out."

The men began to shift, and he turned to me again, "Our mission on this world is almost complete. Perhaps you would like to accompany us to our rendezvous point?" Although he spoke in invitation, I noticed two of his men hung back and prepared themselves to step in if I declined. I was conscious of the minutes passing while Sara was alone, but I could think of no way to get back to the ring without drawing further attention to myself. Reluctantly, I nodded my compliance.

"Tell me about Sateda," Erik said as we walked. "I don't believe I am familiar with the world."

I stared straight ahead. "Sateda fell to the wraith a number of years ago."

He nodded. "That is the fate of many worlds. You fought during the attack?"

"I fought until the end."

There was a long silence before he spoke again. "I am sorry for your loss," he said. "You have travelled alone since then?"

I nodded. I had no need to explain why this was so - nor did I want to mention Sara to him. "You said your mission was almost complete. What was it you set out to do?" I hoped my question would take his focus off me.

Erik pointed a hand towards a thick cloud of smoke in the sky. "You see that over there?" he asked. "That is all that remains of a wraith breeding colony. Our mission these last few days was to put it out of operation."

Despite myself, I was impressed. An attack like that took structure and courage. It crossed my mind that if they had fought for days, then Sara and I might have these men to thank for our respite from the wraith. Defending their colony would surely be more important than tracking us.

"My people and I are mounting a resistance," Erik continued. He dipped his hand into the pocket of the leather jacket he wore under his body armor, and pulled out a number of metal tags. "Unfortunately, it is not one that comes without cost," he said. I recognized the tags he held as those that had belonged to his fallen comrades. "The wraith have taken much from my people," he said, and although he spoke in generalized terms, his tone hinted towards a loss of a more personal nature. I wondered who - or what - it was that made him fight so hard.

"We're here," he cut into my thoughts a moment later. I looked around the field in which we now stood. A row of _Sparc_ fighters sat off to my right, and two bigger aircraft - oval in shape, with flat bases and ramps that opened on both sides - were parked alongside them. I watched as two armed land vehicles were loaded into their holds. This was the first time I had been around such military operations since my last days on Sateda, and I felt a deep sense of longing for all that I had lost. Erik gestured for me to stay with him, and I watched as he gave orders to pull down two large tents and pack them into the ships. When he was satisfied the work was underway, he led me to the outskirts of the field and turned to face me.

"You're probably wondering why I bought you here?"

I nodded. Despite my interest in the operations of his people, this was a delay I could not afford. I was eager to get back to Sara - even if it meant I had to return empty handed. I looked like we would just have to think of some other way to deactivate her transmitter.

"I have to ask you..." Erik continued, unaware of my thoughts. "...What brought you to Trakera? This world has long been a strong hold for wraith, to come here alone is little short of a suicide mission"

I frowned. I had already guessed it was no mistake that the world the wraith had sent me to was over-run by his kind. What I did find interesting was that it appeared he had lied about the name of the world also. "Trakera?" I repeated. "I thought I was on Glapson."

Erik laughed. "Glapson is about as far away from here as you can get," he said. "I'd say you must have made a pretty big wrong turn to end up this far afield."

I did not share Erik's amusement, but the fact he knew of a place called Glapson gave me reason to hope. Maybe there was still some truth to what the wraith had told me? One thing I had learned about lying under interrogation was that to sound convincing, it was best to keep as close as possible to the truth. It also made facts easier to recall under cross examination. I looked at Erik. "You know of this world?"

He nodded, and his blue eyes studied me with interest. "We have traded with them in the past," he said. "What is your interest in them?"

"I'm looking for someone," I said. "I was told I could find them there."

"Does this person have a name?"

I thought for a moment about how much information I wanted to share with him. If he was familiar with Glapson and its people, it was possible he might be able to verify what the wraith had told me. I took a chance and gave him the name I got from the wraith. "Merric Tremain," I replied.

He shook his head slowly. "I don't believe I've heard of him," he said. "But Glapson is a big place. I can't claim to know everybody who lives there."

"Do you know the address so I can go there?"

Erik ran a hand through his hair. He had removed his body armor and leather jacket while we spoke, and now wore just a black sleeveless tank and pants. His body was that of the warrior he was - muscular and strong, with a scar that ran down the length of his left forearm. The scar tissue was an angry pink against his surprisingly fair skin. "I've got a proposition for you," he said.

I raised my eyebrows, not sure where the conversation was going.

"My people and I are at war with the wraith," he said. He gestured towards the fighter planes and the men who stood before them. "As you can see, we have the resources to engage them in battle. My men are skilled and well trained, but their numbers are too few. To exterminate the wraith from our galaxy, we need more people to fight for us." He paused, and looked me in the eye as he continued. "I can see you are highly capable and experienced in the field of battle. You admit to me that you travel on your own, so I must assume this is because you have nowhere to return to. Would you consider joining myself and my people in our fight against the wraith?

I stared at him in shock. "I don't know anything about you," I pointed out.

"I know," he said, "But you will, in time. Our home world is hidden from the wraith. We have an abundance of food... and alcohol..." He trailed off as he tried to think of what to tempt me with. "..._Women_ aplenty," he said, and grinned, "Although it would be up to you to win them over." His smile fell and he grew more serious again. "When we are not fighting the wraith, our people live in safety and comfort."

I thought about everything I had just heard. To be part of a military organization again, to fight the wraith alongside men with resources such as theirs... It was certainly a compelling thought. I shook my head slowly. I could not give up on Sara - or on the possibility that there might still be something left on Sateda for me to return to. "I need to get to Glapson," I said.

Erik sighed and looked away. "I'm disappointed to hear you say that."

"I made a promise to someone," I said, "I intend to keep it. Can you give me the address for Glapson or not?"

He nodded, and I quickly committed the co-ordinates he gave me to memory. "Thank you," I said. I looked over his head to where his men had almost finished loading the cargo ships. "Can I meet with you again?"

He shook his head. "We don't know where we'll be at any given time," he explained. "And we never give out the address of our home planet - even though it would be virtually impossible for you to find us if you went there."

I nodded. "I understand."

The row of _sparcs_ fired into life behind us, indicating Erik's people were about to leave. He turned and held out his hand towards me one last time. "I wish you all the best, Ronon Dex."

I shook his hand for the second time that day - this time of my own free accord. "Kill some wraith for me," I said.

He grinned, and then released my hand and walked over to join his people. I watched him board one of the large ships, and then the fleet took off together. Moments later I found myself alone in the field. I turned around and began my walk back to the ring.

XXX

By the time I reached Glapson, night had fallen. I followed a wide path that led away from the ring and about ten minutes later I found myself on the outskirts of a township. Most of the houses I passed were in darkness, but I could hear the sound of music ahead, and I followed it to a tavern. As I approached, the door swung open, and a man was thrown out onto the cobblestone path in front of me. He appeared to be very drunk and I watched as he dragged himself to his feet and stumbled off down the road. A number of coins lay on the ground where he had fallen, and I picked them up and put them in my pocket before I went inside. Although it was late, there were still a few patrons and most of them turned to look at me as I approached the bar. A curvacious woman with dark hair set in ringlets looked at me from the other side. "Can I get you anything," she smiled, as she looked me up and down.

I dug a few of the coins out of my pocket and pushed them towards her. "Any chance of something to eat?"

She laughed and cocked her head to the side. "Honey, I don't know where you just came in from, but the cook left two hours ago." She lifted her hand and patted her hair into place, "But I'll tell you what," she relented, "You give me a minute, and I'll pop out the back and cook you up something myself. How does that sound?"

I nodded, I wasn't about to decline the offer. She leaned over the bar and picked up the coins, her ample breasts clearly visible above the low cut dress she wore. The coins disappeared into her pocket and she reached to pour a glass of ale. "There you go," she pushed the glass across the counter towards me. "You paid enough for a drink or two as well."

I took a deep swallow of the cold liquid, and it tasted so good that I drained the glass in a few gulps. The barmaid raised her eyebrows, and poured me a refill. "You might want to sit on this one for a while," she warned, "Our ale can potent if you're not used to it." I took her advice - I needed to keep a clear head if I was to find the man I sought - and sipped my second drink as I looked around the tavern. Most of the patrons had already grown tired of watching me, and the few that still stared hastily turned away now as I met their eyes. I wondered if Merric Tremain was amongst them. I knew very little about the people of the world I was on, so I decided to wait a while before I made inquiries. The barmaid suddenly returned, and she placed a plate of food down in front of me. I found myself looking at a slab of steak and potatoes cut into thick wedges. I picked up the steak with my hands and bit into it - the juices filled my mouth and it tasted like the best thing I had ever eaten. I closed my eyes to savour the full force of it, and when I opened them again, I found the barmaid looking at me.

She smiled. "Here you go honey," she said, and passed something to me across the counter. "They're called a knife and fork. I suggest you use them."

I picked up the fork. It felt unfamiliar in my hand, but I stabbed it into the slab of steak and resumed eating.

"That's better," the woman smiled. "If you need anything else, you just let me know. My name's Sheree, and I'll be right over there," she pointed along the bar towards a row of glasses that she had been drying.

I nodded. The food tasted so good I barely noticed her leave. I made short work of the meat, and shoved the potato wedges into my mouth one after the other. When I was done, I lifted the plate to my mouth and licked the remaining juice from its surface.

Sheree appeared a moment later and removed my plate. "Nothing wrong with a hearty appetite," she said, "But you appear like you haven't eaten in weeks."

I emptied my glass and placed it back on the counter. Sheree picked it up and refilled it again. "This one's on the house," she said as she handed it to me.

Now that my hunger had eased a little, I felt relaxed enough to smile at her. "Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome," her eyes held mine for a little longer than necessary and I got the feeling that there was a double meaning to her words. The suggestive way she smiled at me confirmed my suspicions. "You got a name, honey?"

I raised my glass and took a mouthful. "Ronon," I said, as I placed it back upon the bar.

Her smile grew friendlier, and she rested her elbows on the bar to lean towards me. She had dark brown eyes and a pretty mouth that curled up at the corners. I did not imagine that she would be short of male attention. "So, _Ronon," _she said, "What's your business in Glapson?"

I looked at her and it suddenly occurred to me that the men in the area would most likely frequent her tavern. If anyone knew the man I needed to find, it was probably this woman. "I'm looking for someone," I told her.

"Honey, I know everybody in town. You tell me who it is you're after, and I'll let you know where to find them."

I lowered my voice a little. "His name is Merric Tremain."

She raised her eyebrows. "I know him well," she said. "In fact, he was in here earlier tonight. You missed him by a couple of hours. Why are you looking for him?"

"He's a friend of the family," I lied.

"He lives in a cottage on the North East side of town," she told me. "You can't miss his place, it's all out by itself and it has a bright red roof."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll remember that."

She smiled and twirled a stray curl of hair around her finger. "It's late," she said. "If you need a place to stay until tomorrow, there's a room upstairs." She looked at me from behind lowered lashes, "It's nothing flash, but it is warm and cozy... if you don't mind sharing."

I tried to hide my surprise. There could be no mistaking what it was she offered. The last thing I had expected was to find myself propositioned. "Thanks for the offer," I said. I had no intention of accepting, but she had shown me kindness and I did not want to offend her. I got to my feet. "But I came to see Merric."

She gave me a gracious smile. "Shame, that. If you change your mind though, just knock at the front door and I'll come downstairs and let you in."

"I'll remember that," I said. "Thank you for the meal."

"Any time."

The tavern had emptied out since my arrival, and I walked to the door without incident. I pulled my coat around me as I stepped back into the night. The streets were deserted as I walked through them, and it took me about half an hour to get to the outskirts of the town. I found the house with the red roof almost immediately, and was surprised to see it was surrounded by a number of paddocks. In those paddocks was a herd of cattle. I remembered what the wraith had said about the man being a cattle farmer. Was it possible that this man really could help Sara? Despite what I had told the Sheree back at the tavern, I had no intention of approaching him about it tonight. It was late, and I hadn't slept since early that morning. A hay barn to the right of the house offered the possibility of somewhere to rest for a few hours and I entered the paddock to approach it. The cattle stirred and moved out of my way to let me past. I climbed up the side of the hay bales and stretched out on top of the stack where I was unlikely to be discovered if anyone happened to come by. It was warm and dry inside the barn and as I closed my eyes, I wondered what Sara was doing. It surprised me how easy it was to recall her face, and I hoped she had made it through the hours I had been gone without incident. I did not know if my attempt to help her would be successful, but I did know that I wanted to see her again. As I drifted off to sleep, I hoped that tomorrow I might get that chance.

XXX

_* Sparc_ - pronounced** 'Spark'**. An abbreviation for _**S**__ingle __**P**__ilot __**A**__rmed __**R**__econnaissance __**C**__raft_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Thank you once again to my loyal reviewers, Insanekitty19, hifield and cry 4 me. Welcome also to my new reader, forestreject. It's great to know that there are people who are actually reading! Thank you all for putting up with my errors - as I am working alone, all mistakes are sadly mine.

**Ronon POV**

The sound of crowing roosters woke me the next morning. I sat up and looked around the barn in the daylight, and noticed that a number of cattle had wandered in during the night. They munched at the hay stack upon which I sat and paid me very little attention as I looked down at them. I knew very little about cattle, but even I could see this lot were a healthy herd. All appeared to be fit and strong with coats that shone in the early morning light. I drew my feet towards me and jumped down to the clay floor a short distance away from where they ate.

"What are you doing here?" A voice near the barn entrance asked.

I drew my gun and spun around to find a short, elderly man standing by the open door. His face was partly obscured by a long grey beard and matching long hair. He saw my gun, and held out his hands to stop me from firing. "Easy there," he said, as he took a step backwards, I'm not looking for any trouble."

I eyed him warily. "Are you Merric Tremain?"

He lowered his hands. "How about you put the gun down first?"

"How about you answer the question," I countered.

"Merric is my name," he confirmed. He stood a little straighter and looked me in the eye. "And as I kindly let you stay in my barn last night, I would appreciate you repaying my courtesy by putting the gun away."

I looked at him in surprise. "You knew I was there?" I hadn't realized that my approach the night before had been monitored.

He nodded, and pointed towards the cows that still ate nearby. "You upset my girls."

I frowned. The cattle had done little more than trot a few steps to get out of my way. How had he noticed that in the dead of night? "That wasn't my intention," I said.

"No harm done," he dismissed. "Now, are you going to tell me what it is you want?"

I stared at him. Here was the man who might well be responsible for the years of hell the wraith had put me through, and he asked me what I wanted? I clenched my teeth. "Is it you who designed a tracking implant that can be inserted into humans?"

He looked visibly shocked by my question. "I... I have perfected a monitoring system for use on my cattle," he stammered. "I insert a small device into their rumps so I can locate them when they graze on the high country in summer. It also helps me to gauge their well being", he explained, "that's how I know you disturbed them last night." He looked me straight in the eye and continued, "I assure you though, I have never thought of using the device on a human."

I frowned. "The Wraith do not seem to share your sentiment."

"The wraith?" he looked puzzled, and then his face slowly took on an expression of shock. "My God..." he whispered. "The wraith culled Glapson several years back," he said. "They decimated our population and destroyed many homes in the process. I returned from the field to find my wife and daughter gone, and my house in ruins..." His words trailed off and he looked through me as the pieces of his past came together in his mind. "I assumed my work had been destroyed along with everything else." he said. "Are you telling me that instead, the wraith stole my implant design and have been using it to track humans?"

I nodded. "You want me to show you the scar?"

His eyes opened wide. "You?" he said. "They put a tracking device into you? But why?"

I shrugged. "Sport? Training? To learn how we fight...? I don't know, take your pick."

"But that's _barbaric," _the man said.

I nodded. "So, if I was to show you one of these tracking implants, do you think you could deactivate it?"

"I don't know," he said, "How about you let me take a look and I'll see what I can do?"

I shook my head. "It's not me you need to see."

He frowned. "Then who?"

I stared at him for a moment. Could this man really help Sara? Was I ready to chance his life - and possibly Sara's as well - by taking him to see her? I thought about the years I had spent running from the wraith and decided that I was. "She waits on another world," I said. "It was not safe to bring her here. We need to go to her. Now."

"It is a woman you speak of? The man raised his eyebrows in surprise. "And you are asking me to go with you to this place and help her?"

I nodded. "I would prefer it if you came willingly."

He looked at the gun I still pointed at him. "There are no need for threats," he said. "I will help if I can."

"Good," I smiled. "How long until you're ready to leave?"

He thought for a moment. "About ten minutes? You will need to tell me as much about the transmitter as possible, so that I know what I need to take."

I gestured towards the house and followed him as he led the way inside. We walked down a long hallway to a room that was set up as a kind of science lab. He began to open and close drawers while he searched for something, and I fought the urge to hurry him along. Instead, I told him what I knew about the tracking device inside Sara. He seemed to take my description well enough until I mentioned where the device was located. He looked at me in shock. "It's in her _head?" _

I nodded. "That's why we haven't been able to deactivate it ourselves."

"It would appear the wraith have modified my design somewhat," he said. "I hope it is not beyond my ability to help." He placed a couple of objects into his pocket and turned to face me. "I'm ready."

"Good, I said. Now show me the quickest way back to the circle."

**Sara POV**

I held my breath and strained my ears to locate the source of the sound I had just heard. It was pitch dark and I could barely see two feet in front of my face, but somewhere in front of me _something_ had just moved and I knew without a doubt that I was no longer alone in the forest. My heart hammered inside my chest, and I searched the area with wide eyes. There! I thought, just off to my left... I raised my gun and pointed it towards a shadow of movement. My hands shook so badly that I feared I might not be able to shoot straight. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. A split second later I felt something graze past my thigh and I realized I had been fired at in return. There was a cry of pain - one that I recognized as wraith - and I knew that my own shot had found its mark. If the sounds of his struggles were anything to go by, I would guess I had only managed to wound him, so I raised my gun and fired again. This time he let out a long moan and his movements ceased. I didn't approach him to make sure he was dead, instead I stumbled from the area, my hands stretched out in front of me to feel for the way. As I moved, tree branches clawed my face and tugged at my hair, and they felt like dozens of hands trying to reach out to grab at me. I began to run, and my mind raced in a hundred different directions as panic took over. _I should have left with Ronon.._. _I should have gone somewhere else... I should have done anything but stay here..._ My right ankle suddenly twisted beneath me and I pitched forward onto the ground. I lay there, winded and aching as I pictured men emerging from the forest and closing in around me. I realized with a start that it wasn't the wraith I feared so much, but the convicts who had lived on the same world. What if there were more of them? What if they had somehow followed me? I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. It was a wraith who had come for me, not a man, I reasoned. And I had shot that wraith twice, so if he wasn't dead then he was at least very seriously injured and unlikely to bother me again. I felt my self control return a little and I carefully got to my feet. To my surprise I experienced nothing worse than a dull ache in my ankle as I placed my foot on the ground. It hurt, but not so much that I couldn't walk. This time I proceeded with more caution, and when I felt I was far enough from where I had encountered the wraith, I sat down and allowed myself to rest. I propped myself up against a tree and stretched my legs out in front of me. All around me, the forest was errily silent. I squeezed my eyes shut.

_"I'll find help. I promise." _

Ronon's words ran through my head as I sat alone in the darkness. I wasn't sure if it was him I missed, or if I was so starved for human companionship that I would have yearned for anyone in his place. I suspected the later, but when I thought about the way he had kissed me - and I found this was almost impossible _not_ to think about - I wasn't so sure. I drew my legs up to my chest and leaned my head against my knees. If only I could remember who I was, or where I came from - maybe it would help me put things into perspective. Instead, I knew only one person in the entire galaxy. Surely this was would explain why I thought about him now? Whatever the reason, I closed my eyes and wished he was there.

XXX

I came awake with a start. The forest around me was bathed in daylight, and I realized that despite my despair of the night before I must have fallen asleep. I got to my feet and tried to stretch the kinks out of my back. I still felt exhausted, and if not for the possibility of a wraith attack I could easily have slept for another couple of hours. Instead, I walked down to the river and took a quick wash. The cold water revived me a little, and as my stomach began to rumble I quickly forgot how tired I was. If I didn't find something to eat soon, my strength would start to decline. I had discovered some watercress in a backwater a few days ago, and now I followed the riverbank as I looked for more. Although it wasn't particularly filling, I knew it would keep me going until I managed to hunt something more substantial. Because I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn't realize right away that something was approaching. It wasn't until the bushes in front of me began to move that I quickly ducked behind the trunk of a large tree and pulled out my gun.

"Sara?"

I sagged against the tree as I recognized Ronon's voice. He was back, and somehow he had found me. I stepped out to meet him, "I can't believe you're here," I said as I looked at him. Part of me had really not expected to see him again.

He smiled, and came closer. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, "I'm good," I said, and realized that it was true. I suddenly felt much better than I had just moments before. As much as I wanted to reach out and touch him, I held myself back for fear I might appear too needy. I don't know if he sensed my hesitation, but a moment later I felt him pull me towards him. His arms wrapped around my back and I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek against his chest. We stood like that for a moment, and then I felt his arms begin to loosen. "I have someone you need to meet," he said, as he stepped back.

I opened my eyes and looked around, and for the first time I noticed an elderly grey haired man who stood off to one side. Ronon held his hand out towards him, "This is Merric," he said to me.

Merric? My mind raced as I realized where I had heard the name before. I starred at Ronon is shock. _"You mean the wraith told you the truth?"_

"In a round about kind of way," he confirmed.

Too caught up in my own excitement to look further into his reply, I turned to face Merric. "Hi," I smiled, "My name's Sara. Do you think you can help me?"

He smiled, and I noticed he had kindly eyes. "I have come to try," he said, as he approached me and then reached out to touch my arm. "I am sorry for what the wraith have done to you," he said, "But you must understand, I developed the tracking device to monitor my cattle. Until your friend arrived this morning, I had no idea the wraith had stolen my concept to use in such a way."

I nodded. He seemed so genuinely upset that I actually felt sorry for him. "I believe you," I said, "And thank you for coming here - for trying to help me."

He smiled. "I hear the device is in your head. Do you mind if I take a look?"

I looked at Ronon. He guessed I was thinking about the possibility of a wraith attack. "Go ahead," he said. "I'll stand watch."

I crouched down in front of Merric and pulled my hair aside. A moment later I felt him behind me, and his fingers brushed across my scalp and rested on top of the transmitter. He was silent for a moment as he made his assessment. I heard him feel around inside his pockets, and then he held out something for me to look at. "These are neodymium magnets," he said, and I studied the small rectangular object that he held in each hand. "When placed together, they produce a strong electrical current. I hope that by positioning them on either side of the transmitter, the current will be strong enough to malfunction the device in between."

I looked at him skeptically. It all sounded too simple, and the magnets seemed so small... But what other choice did I have? "Okay," I conceded, and bent my head forward again. "Lets do this."

I felt him place the magnets on either side of the transmitter, and then... nothing. I waited for him to do something else, but a moment later removed the magnets and looked at me. "Well?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Well, what? I didn't feel a thing."

"It wasn't supposed to hurt," he explained, "But I thought you might experienced a tingling sensation, or something similar."

I shook my head. "Nothing," I said, and I felt disappointment settle over me like a heavy black cloud. "I don't think it worked."

Ronon pulled the device he had stolen from the wraith out of his pocket. He stared at it for a moment, and then held it out for me to look at. "Take a look at this," he said. I leaned forward but all I could see was a blank screen. "Oh my..." I lifted my hands to my mouth as I suddenly understood. I looked at Ronon, "It worked?"

A hesitant grin spread slowly across his face. "It looks like it."

I jumped up from where I sat. "It worked!" I exclaimed, and I threw my arms out wide as I spun around in a circle. My elation was shared by Ronon, and I put my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the ground in a celebratory hug. When he put me down, my legs wobbled and I had to place my hand against his chest for a moment to brace myself. I turned to Merric, and then I walked over and gave him a hug too. "Thank you so much," I whispered, and blinked back the tears that suddenly filled my eyes.

He smiled. "You are welcome," he said as I released him.

I wondered if he really understood what it was he had done for me. "You've given me my life back," I told him.

He shook his head. "I think that honor belongs to your friend," he said.

I suddenly felt a little awkward, and I looked at Ronon to catch his reaction. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "I owed her one," he said to Merric, and just like that the awkwardness passed.

Merric placed his hands upon his hips and looked from Ronon to I. "Do you two mind if I get back to my girls now?" he said. "They'll be waiting to go out to pasture."

I smiled. I doubted there were better looked after cattle anywhere in the galaxy.

Ronon stepped forward. "If you want, I can show you the way back to the circle," he offered.

"I think I can manage," Merric replied. "I don't want to keep the girls waiting any longer than necessary."

We exchanged goodbyes, and a moment later he was gone.

"So," Ronon turned to me the minute we were alone, "Do you remember anything?"

I frowned. As unbelievable as it sounded, in my excitement I had forgotten all about my memory loss. I thought for a moment. Who was I? Was my name really Sara? No answers came, and I slowly shook my head. "No," I said, I can't remember anything more than I did half an hour ago."

My disappointment must have shown on my face, because Ronon shook his head. "It might take time," he ventured.

Or my memory just might not come back at all, I though. I tried to put on a brave face. At least the wraith were no longer hunting me. "So," I said, feigning brightness, "What are you going to do now?" The minute I spoke, I realized that this was a question I should ask of myself. I was a nobody from nowhere. What was_ I _going to do now?

Ronon was quiet for a moment, and if I didn't know better, I would have thought he was on edge. "I'm gonna go back to Sateda," he slowly said.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. Somehow, I hadn't thought of that possibility. I wished desperately that I had a home world to return to. Even one that had suffered such devastation as Ronon's would surely be better than the nothingness that I remembered.

Ronon shifted his weight to his other foot, and it suddenly hit me that I had been right. For some reason, he _was_ anxious. He lowered his head and his eyes met mine briefly. "If you like, you can come with me," he suggested.

I wasn't sure I had heard him right. "Really?" I asked. Now that he had repaid what he felt he owed me, I had expected we would go our separate ways. "Are you sure?"

He nodded, and before the mood between us could get too serious, he smiled. "Unless you have somewhere else you plan to go?"

I smiled back. We both knew that was unlikely. "Sateda sounds good to me," I said.

He turned in the direction of the circle. "If we leave now, we should make it there by mid-morning," he said.

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" I replied. "Let's get going."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Thank you to my wonderful readers - insanekitty19, hifield, Crye 4 Me and madwhiskey, for all of the positive feedback. Welcome also to my new reader, Raiegh! This chapter took me so long to write (I rewrote it three times!) despite it being reasonably short. Ronon's POV is fairly short because I didn't want to draw out what we already knew from the show. Because I've never written for this fan base before, I wasn't sure how far to go with Sara's POV. I left off at a fairly safe point so let me know if you want more and I'll go further in future chapters.

**Ronon POV**

I looked down from the top of the building on which I stood. The wraith destruction of my home world was total. Every way I turned, all I could see were fallen buildings and deserted streets. Down below, the bodies of my comrades lay where they had fallen. Still dressed in full body armor, they had died without even receiving the honor of a burial.

"Are you okay?" A voice behind reminded me of Sara's presence. I did not trust myself to speak, and so I gave her a brief nod in response. She approached and stood next to me at the guard rail, and we looked out over the city together. Try as I might, I could not keep my eyes from seeking out the remains of the Satedan hospital. It stood in the distance off to my right, broken and defeated, an empty shell of what it had once been. I closed my eyes and saw again the rows of people who were too sick or frail to leave their beds. I felt the chaos as the corridors filled with more and more people who needed medical assistance. Once again I heard the words that had turned my life upside down. _"I can't, Ronon...I can't go." _I shook my head and looked away as the memory became too much. "We should leave," I said to Sara, "There's nothing more to see here."

**Sara POV**

I squeezed the last of the water from the tips of my hair and began to comb it out. Beside me a pot simmered over the open fire and the tantalizing aroma of rabbit stew made my stomach rumble with anticipation. I looked out across the lake that stretched out in front of me. The last of the suns rays reflected off its surface and not a breath of wind disturbed the birch trees that grew around its edge. After the destruction I had seen today, it was hard to believe a place like this could still exist on the same world. I found myself wishing I had known Sateda before the wraith had come. I shot a glance across the fire at Ronon. He had been moody and silent for most of the day and I had done my best to leave him alone to work through his thoughts. I was surprised when he turned and met my eyes now. "How are you doing?" I ventured.

He shrugged. "About as well as can be expected." His gaze shifted back towards the lake, and I followed his line of sight.

"I'm glad you bought me up here," I said. "It's beautiful."

He nodded, and I watched him draw his left knee towards his chest and rest his arm on top of it. He was silent for a moment, and I was surprised when he spoke again. "I used to play up here when I was a kid," he said.

I raised my eyebrows. For someone who usually shared so little about himself, it was a shock to hear him offer something about his past so freely. Despite my curiosity, I managed to keep my tone casual. "I can see why," I agreed as I put my comb down and ran my hands through my still damp hair. "It's a great place for swimming."

He shook his head. "I used the trees for target practice."

I frowned. "You played with a gun?"

He nodded. "A triple barrel."

I smiled, somehow that didn't surprise me as much as maybe it should have. I turned my head a little and looked at the trees behind us as I tried to imagine him as a boy. Before I could speak again, he leaned forward and lifted the lid off the pot. "Looks like dinner's ready," he said.

I nodded and reached for a plate to pass to him. Earlier, we had stopped on the way out of the city and taken a few supplies from one of the houses we passed. As uncomfortable as I had been with the idea, Ronon had obviously felt the same way because when I met up with him again outside, he appeared to have taken very little. He handed me back a plate filled with food, and we ate in a comfortable silence. It had grown dark by the time we finished, and I took the plates down to the waters edge to rinse them clean. When I returned, Ronon still sat beside the fire where I had left him. He looked up as I approached and held something out towards me. "Want some?" he asked.

I recognized the smell of bourbon and looked at the small hip flask he offered. For a moment I hesitated and then I took the flask and bought it to my lips. The liquid burnt a hot trail down my throat and then settled in the pit of my stomach. I handed the flask back to Ronon and took a seat in the grass at his side. Nobody liked to drink alone - and I guessed that after what he had seen today that was how he felt. It was probably futile, but I hoped my presence might somehow help to ease his burden a little. He passed me the flask again and we sat and looked out across the lake together for a few moments. The moon cast a pale sheen over the surface of the water, and as I looked up at the sky I saw the stars had come out. I took another small sip of bourbon, and swallowed. "I forgot how good it feels to be still," I said.

Ronon nodded and took the flask as I passed it back. "I've never been very good at being still," he admitted.

I turned my head towards him a little. There were no words that could erase what he had seen today, but I knew if I didn't make some kind of attempt to acknowledge it, the weight of everything we didn't say would continue to hang in the air between us. I bit my lip and then spoke, "I'm sorry you didn't find what you expected here today."

He did not look at me, and for a moment I wondered if I had spoken out of turn. I saw him take another mouthful and then he finally spoke. "I found what I expected," he said, "Just not what I hoped."

It was my turn to fall quiet. I averted my eyes just as he turned his head to face me. He stared at me for a moment before he spoke. "It's good you came," he said.

I looked at him in surprise. I hadn't expected him to say something like that, and it pleased me more than I would admit. I shrugged my shoulders and kept my tone casual, "It's not like I had a heap of other offers," I said.

He smiled a little. We both knew it was true. I was a nobody with nowhere to go.

"There must be other survivors," I said, anxious to turn the conversation away from my own predicament.

"I doubt it," he said. His eyes turned back towards the lake. "A true Satedan would never have abandoned their home world."

I felt that was a fairly broad assumption, given the ruins Sateda was now in - but as I could not claim to know his people, I did not argue the point. My hair was now almost dry after my swim and I shook it out to let the air get to the few strands that remained damp. Shampoo and soap were two of the items I had taken from the house and I felt cleaner now than I had in months. I drew my knees up to my chest and turned my head to look at Ronon. I was surprised to find he was already watching me, and something in the way he held my gaze made my breath catch in my throat for just a second. When he looked away, I realized I had forgotten entirely what I had been about to say. I struggled for something to break the silence. "So what do you plan to do now?" I asked.

"Continue the fight against the wraith," he replied without hesitation.

I realized he had taken a different meaning to my question - as opposed to where he might go or who he might see - but somehow his reply made sense to me. I nodded my head and we lapsed back into silence again. When he offered me the hip flask next, I shook my head and declined. I saw him screw the cap back on and return it to the inside pocket of his coat that lay on the ground behind us. As he straightened up, his eyes were back on my face again. I turned to look at him, and found he was staring at me in exactly the same way as he had a couple of minutes before. This time he did not look away though, and I suddenly became aware of how close together we were sitting. His gaze held mine - green eyes framed with thick black lashes - and I felt my heart skip a beat. He leaned towards me slowly, and a moment later his mouth come into contact with mine. His lips were soft and gentle and I closed my eyes as I began to respond. The tips of his whiskers brushed against my chin and upper lip, they were long enough to be soft rather than abrasive, and I moaned a little as the kiss became deeper. I parted my lips to allow him in further and my heart raced as the tip of his tongue nudged against my own. When he finally released my mouth, I panted for breath.

He smiled at me, his eyes soft. "I've been wanting to do that again," he admitted.

I blinked, lost for words. His eyes still held my own and I reached out and traced the outline of his jaw with my fingertips. He closed his eyes and tilted his head slightly to follow my touch. I realized that as long as I had gone without human contact, he had survived for much, much longer. I lowered my hand and watched as he slowly opened his eyes again. This time it was I who instigated the kiss. I placed my lips upon his and felt him reach to cup my jaw with the palm of his hand. His thumb stroked my cheek while his long fingers grazed the sensitive skin behind my ear and down the side of my neck. He released my lips for a moment, "Lie back," he instructed, as he slipped his hand around behind my head and guided me towards the ground. When I lay comfortably, he braced himself on one arm above me and used the other to gently smooth the hair back from my face. "Your skin is almost completely white," he said as he looked down at me.

I smiled. It was true that my skin was extremely fair, but next to the deep olive tone of his own, almost anyone would appear pale. I ran my fingers up the arm that he leaned on, and then let them slip back down to the leather guard at his wrist. "Do you always wear these?" I asked.

He shrugged, obviously surprised by my question. "Pretty much," he replied.

I nodded. I wanted to tell him that I found them incredibly sexy, but I didn't want to appear foolish. "They suit you," I replied simply.

He gave me a puzzled smile. "Really?"

I nodded. Already I regretted my comment. I didn't want him to know how closely I sometimes watched him. I sat up and angled my head to kiss him again, and just like that the topic was forgotten. With his lips on mine again, I reached to touch the warm skin on his upper arms. His shoulders were solid muscle, and I ran the palms of my hands across them and down over the hard arches of his biceps. I felt his fingers trail downwards from the hollow of my throat to trace the outline of my left breast, and my breath hitched in my throat. He pulled back and gave me a questioning look. I realized he had mistaken my desire for hesitation, and in response I reached out and grasped the bottom of the thick woven vest he wore. I lifted the fabric up, and he complied by raising his arms so I could pull the garment off over his head. My eyes fell to his chest and I saw the muscles there flex as he reached for me again. A shiver of anticipation ran down my spine and settled in my loins. I noticed a tooth of some kind dangled from a leather strap and hung over his breast bone. Beneath the tooth I saw a smattering of fine hair and then below that, the scar from his encounter with the wraith. I hadn't told him about the identical scar that I carried, and suddenly I felt apprehensive about revealing it to him. The scar tissue was still an ugly pink color against my pale skin, and I knew it was anything but attractive to look at. I felt him reach for the zip that ran down the side of my halter top and I held my breath as he slowly eased it down. I wore no bra - the leather fitted snuggly enough to provide the support I needed - and my breasts sprung free from their confines as the top slipped position. I watched his eyes fall to my chest and I saw him hesitate and then frown.

He looked at me. "The wraith did this to you?" he reached out and gently touched the tip of the scar.

I nodded, and glanced down at his fingertips. Most of the scar, along with my breasts, was still concealed behind my top, and for that I was grateful.

He shook his head slowly, and his eyes left my face to stare at the ugly blemish. "When?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "It was probably before they inserted the tracking device. The wound was raw for the first few days after they released me."

He grit his teeth and I saw a flash of anger pass over his face. I flinched, and he must have seen me do so, because his expression suddenly softened again. He reached to tilt my chin towards him and as his mouth found mine, I felt myself begin to gradually relax. He lifted the edge of my top and I raised my arms so that he could remove it completely. He guided me back to the ground and his lips left my mouth to burn a hot trail down my neck towards my breast bone. He paused over the disfigured skin there and looked up at me. "I hope this is one memory you never get back," he said, and placed his lips over the scar the wraith had left.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat - I had not expected to receive such tenderness or understanding. The attraction I felt towards him grew deeper, and I realized I no longer seemed to have any control over it. His mouth shifted from the scar, the wraith - as well as everything else around me - ceased to exist as he took my nipple in his mouth. I wove my fingers through the thick dreadlocks in his hair and arched my back towards him. The movement bought us closer together and I felt the hard length of him pressed against my thigh. Desire flooded my loins. I reached for the thigh strap that held his gun holster in place and flicked it undone. His lips caught my other nipple and I let out a small gasp as my fingers felt for the second, larger belt that rested low upon his hips. The leather was soft and supple through years of wear and the gun belt sprang free without hitch. I removed it a moment before he straddled me. He ground his hips against mine in a slow circular motion and then inched himself down to kiss my stomach. I lay back and closed my eyes. A moment later I felt him undo my belt and lower my leathers down off my hips...

It was a long, long time before I got to sleep that night, but when I finally did it was deep and dreamless.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Thank you insanekitty19, Cry 4 Me, Raieghn and Hifield for your lovely reviews. Welcome also to my new reader, MissMayHem85. It seems that some of you wanted more smut from the last chapter, while others thought the details I gave were enough. From here on, I am going to write as I feel most comfortable which will probably mean a couple of chapters might require warnings for adult content. Thanks heaps for all of the input. This chapter is from Sara's POV, but Ronon will get his chance again soon.

**Sara POV**

Ronon shook me awake the next morning. "I hear gunfire," he said, as he rolled over and sat up.

I blinked in the early morning light and sat up next to him. "Gunfire?" I strained my ears, but all I could hear was the noisy squabbling of ducks in the lake. From habit, I reached for my gun.

Ronon was already on his feet. He, like myself, had pulled his clothes back on last night against the cold, and now he quickly strapped his sword to his back.

A volley of shots rang out somewhere behind us, and this time we both heard them. A cold chill ran down my spine as I recognized the distinct sound of wraith stun guns. I looked at Ronon and saw that he recognized them too. His face contorted with anger and he let out a roar of such fury that I actually jumped with fright. I stood up, but before I had a chance to say anything, Ronon took off in a sprint towards the direction of gunfire.

_"Ronon!" _I shouted, "Wait...!" He gave no indication he had heard me - if anything he picked up his pace and the distance between us widened further I cursed under my breath and pulled my gun from its holster. No matter how reckless I thought his actions, I couldn't let him face the wraith alone. I prayed we were not both running to our own deaths as I hurried after him.

It was on the outskirts of the city that I finally caught him up. I burst around a corner and came face to face with a number of wraith that he had already engaged in battle. I ducked behind a broken fence and began to fire. Ronon bellowed with rage as he fought, and I turned in time to see him take a hit from a wraith stun gun. My stomach plunged, but somehow he remained standing. His hair flew wildly about his face as he spun to face the wraith responsible for the shot. He fired, dropped to the ground, rolled, and came up firing again. I wasn't sure whether to be fearful for his safety or impressed by his fighting skills. I shot a wraith who approached him from behind, and my eyes were suddenly drawn towards a small group of people who knelt together on the ground a short distance away from where I hid. They had their hands behind their heads and I guessed they were probably responsible for some of the gunfire we had heard. Whoever they were, the wraith seemed to have disarmed them, and now they ducked low to avoid being caught in the crossfire. If anything, they appeared more fearful of Ronon than of the wraith who had captured them. I saw him beat his fist against his chest in open provocation to the wraith, and I could certainly understand their view. Unfortunately, no matter how bravely Ronon fought, he and I were still grossly out-numbered and it was a relief when I saw one of the captured men crawl over and pick up a wraith stun gun. I came out from behind the fence to back him up as he began to fire at the wraith. Just when it appeared we had evened up the odds a little, Ronon took another direct hit to the chest. I saw him stagger from the impact, but again he rallied himself enough to lift his gun and kill the wraith responsible. I looked around, and suddenly discovered there were no more wraith to shoot. I re-holstered my gun and watched the small party of people get to their feet. As well as the dark haired man who had helped us, there were three more of them in total and as I looked more closely now, I discovered that one of them was a woman. All of them watched Ronon with wary expressions as he pulled out his sword. He limped over to the last wraith he had shot, and then with a blood curdling cry, he raised his sword and plunged it deep into the wraith's chest.

For a moment, there was total silence. The people in the small group looked to the dark haired man for guidance and I guessed he was their leader. He took a moment and looked from Ronon to I as he tried to figure out which one of us to address In the end he kept his eyes on Ronon, but spoke to me. "Okay, everyone take it easy," he said. He still held the wraith gun, but I noticed he pointed it slightly towards the ground rather than at Ronon or I. "I'm not sure who you people are, but it looks like you hate the wraith as much as we do so I guess that puts us on the same side."

I nodded. The man and his people did not appear hostile and I had no wish to fight with them. Unfortunately, it appeared that Ronon did not share my sentiment and I watched helplessly as he strode up to the man in confrontation. "Who are you, and what are you doing on Sateda?" he snarled.

The man wisely held out his hand rather than his gun to hold him at bay. "I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Shepherd," he said. "This is my team, Dr Rodney McKay, Dr Carson Beckett and Teyla Emmagan." He indicated each person in turn. "We're here on an exploration mission."

Ronon eyed him with distrust. "Prove it," he growled.

"Well, my friend, Rodney," he gestured to a tall man behind him, "Has been taking data and entering it into our logs. It appears their was a wraith cull on this world a number of years ago. Other than the two of you, we have detected no other signs of human life. In fact, we were about to leave when the wraith attacked us."

Ronon continued to stare at the man, and I decided to break in before things took a turn for the worse. "My name is Sara," I offered, "and this is my friend, Ronon Dex."

"I'm pleased to meet you, Sara," the Colonel said, and inclined his head as he looked back at Ronon, "Ronon."

Before Ronon could reply, the last man from the group spoke up. He had a thick accent that I couldn't place and I had to listen carefully to understand him. He gestured towards the bloody gash on his Ronon's left forearm. "You're bleeding," he said, "I'm a doctor, I could take a look at it if you like..." His words trailed off as Ronon turned on him with barred teeth. "...Or not," he added as he took a step backwards.

Colonel Shepherd held up his hand. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea anyway, Carson" he said. "The wraith could return any time." He looked at me, "Where did you say you were from again?"

"I didn't," I replied. "It's a long story - but I can't remember anything beyond the last few months. I came to Sateda with Ronon - he's a Satedan native - and this is the first time he's been back here since the day of the wraith cull.

"Uh huh," The Colonel looked at us both again as he processed the information. I could see he had a number more questions to ask, but he surprised me by not pursuing them. Instead, he spoke to Ronon again. "Looks like we owe you one," he said, "That was some pretty awesome fighting you did back there."

Ronon's eyes did not leave the Colonel's face, and I got the feeling he was sizing the man up. "The wraith have no business on Sateda," he said.

"Be that as it may," the Colonel replied, "Once they hear of this attack, they'll be back in greater numbers-"

"Good," Ronon interrupted. "Let them come. I'll be ready for them"

The Colonel cleared his throat. "As I was saying, the wraith will be back with greater numbers - it won't be safe for either of you to stay here."

"Do you suggest we _run?" _Ronon sneered.

The Colonel raised his eyebrows, "Well, not_ run _so much..." he said, "I was thinking something more along the lines of…_leave_. My friends and I have a ship that will take us back to our base. We could offer you a ride."

"Hang on there a minute," Dr. McKay held up his hand and broke into the conversation. He spoke to his leader for a moment in hushed tones, but he was close enough that both Ronon and I could listen in. "Are you sure that's a good idea? We don't know anything about these people. How do we know they're trustworthy? They could carry disease, or some other ailment that would effect the whole of Atlantis-"

"Rodney," The Colonel waved his hand to halt the conversation, "I'm aware of the risks. But what would you have me do? We can't just leave them here - you know the wraith will come back. We probably owe them our lives - or have you forgotten?"

The man looked suitably affronted, "Yes, well, I realize that, but..."

_"Good, _then you won't have any further _objections." _The Colonel cut the other man off and turned his attention back to Ronon and I again. "We would be happy to take you both with us back to our base. You would be welcome to stay with us until you decide where you want to go."

I looked at Ronon. This man and his people appeared to come from a civilized settlement. It was obvious we could not live on Sateda, and as far as I knew, neither of us had anywhere else to go. I could see no harm in accepting their offer. "Ronon?" I prompted.

He did not reply, but I knew he was still hesitant to leave Sateda and put our fate into the hands of strangers.

"Excuse me," the woman of the group suddenly spoke up. "My name is Teyla Emmagan," she said as she approached. "It is an honor to meet you both. I myself met Colonel Shepherd and his team about a year ago. They came to my home world, Anthosia and saved many of my people from certain death at the hands of the wraith. She turned to Ronon, "I am sorry your people and your world have suffered such a terrible fate, but I see nothing for you to gain by staying here." She reached out and lightly touched his forearm. I was surprised to see that he did not pull away. "There will be another time and place," she said.

Ronon stared at her for a moment and then turned to look at me. "You want to go with these people?"

I nodded. "Given our options it does seem like the best choice."

"Okay then," he said to the Colonel, "Take us back with you."

_**Mission Report - Lieutenant Colonel John Shepherd**_

_My team and I set out to perform a standard sweep of the world of Sateda. It appeared the world had been culled by wraith a number of years ago and we were surprised when we encountered them again as we explored. They took us by surprise and managed to disarm us. Our chances of escape were not looking good, when suddenly a lone man burst upon the scene. The man, who I would come to know as Ronon Dex, launched himself at the wraith in an all out attack. He was backed up by a woman, Sara, and as they gained the upper hand, I managed to get my hands on a wraith stun gun and join in the fight. During this time, Ronon took two direct hits from a stun gun but neither of them rendered him unconscious. I do not recall ever meeting anyone who could withstand a single blast of such magnitude, let alone two. Once the wraith were dead, I asked both Ronon and Sara to accompany us back to Atlantis. It turns out that they are both former runners - where a tracking device is inserted into the body and the host is released to be hunted by the wraith - and against the odds, they have managed to free themselves from their tracker devices. Ronon's device has been removed completely, while Sara still carries the deactivated remains of hers inside her head. The device has blocked her memory, and she claims to remember nothing of her former life beyond her time as a runner. I intend to let Dr. Beckett take a closer look at the device to see if it is removable. At this stage, Ronon appears wary of our motives, but I hope to take him to the shooting range later, and then put him through his paces in the sparing room. He is a formidable warrior and I suspect there is a lot my team and I could learn from him should we gain his trust._

**Sara POV**

I looked up as Dr Beckett - or Carson, as he insisted I call him - entered the room. He wore a long white coat and carried a file under his arm. I guessed this contained the results of the tests he had run on me, and I was curious to know the results.

"Well, Sara," he smiled as he took a seat next to me, "I'm pleased to be able to tell you that you have a clean bill of health." He lifted the top sheet of the file and turned it over to expose the second sheet and I watched him run his finger down the colums of information. "You are slightly anaemic, and your BMI reading indicates you are underweight for your height, but there's nothing that rest and a balanced diet shouldn't take care of.

I smiled. I didn't think there was anything wrong with me, but it was still a relief to hear so. "Thanks, Carson," I said as I looked around the small room in which I sat. It was only a few hours since Ronon and I had arrived at Atlantis with Colonel Shepherd, and I had not seen either of them since. "Have you looked over Ronon as well?" I asked.

"I ran some tests on him before I got to you," Carson explained. He smiled as he continued, "Let me tell you, I don't think I've ever had a more healthy patient. Other than a number of old scars - and the small gash to his left forearm - I can't find a thing wrong with the man. After what Colonel Shepherd told me he's been through, it is nothing short of astonishing to find him in such peak physical condition."

I shook my head, "That sounds like Ronon," I smiled.

"I removed the stitches in his back," Carson continued, "He tells me it was you who dug the transmitter out?"

I nodded. "His idea, not mine," I assured him.

"Well, you made a very good job," he said me. "There was no trace of infection and the stitches were small and neat. There should be the minimum of scaring."

I smiled. "Trust me, it's not something I ever want to repeat." I stood up and looked at him "Am I free to go now?"

"You certainly are," he got to his feet next to me. "We should get the X-rays we took of your head back later today. I'll get Dr McKay to take a look over them with me and then we'll get back to you when we know some more."

"Thanks," I replied, and then hesitated as I looked at him "Um, did Ronon say where he was going?"

"He left with Colonel Shepherd about half an hour ago. You'll probably find them both at the gymnasium."

"Thanks," I smiled again and turned to go. It wasn't until I stepped out of the consulting room that I realized I had no idea of where the gymnasium actually was. I stood in the corridor while a number of people passed me by, but they all looked so busy that I didn't like to stop them and ask for directions. I had just decided to abandon my plan to find the gym and return to the room I had been assigned when I saw Dr McKay come around the corner. Relieved to see a familiar face, I put my hand out to stop him. "Dr McKay?"

He paused and looked at me. "Oh," he said, "Sara, right?"

I nodded, and gave him what I hoped was a friendly smile.

"Please, call me Rodney," he said. He glanced towards the consulting room behind me and I saw him put two and two together in his mind. How did the uh… check up go?"

I smiled. "Good. I've been given the all-clear," I told him. I lowered my voice to a conspiratorial whisper to add, "No infectious diseases."

He had the grace to look embarrassed. "Ah…no? I'm pleased to hear that," he suddenly seemed to have trouble looking me in the face. "Listen," he said as he cleared his throat, " I didn't really mean what I said… when I said that… I'm sure both you and your…" he paused as he thought about how best to refer to Ronon, "… your _friend_ are the picture of health. I was just being careful. You know, we've encountered a lot of pretty unbelievable things since we came here. There was this one world we-"

I put my hand out to interrupt him. "It's okay," I assured him. "I understand you have to be careful. I was just teasing."

"Teasing?" he looked for a moment as if he had never heard the word before, and then he snapped his fingers as he suddenly caught on. "Teasing," he muttered to himself under his breath, "Yes, I should have seen that coming." He turned back to me, "So," he said as he regained his composure, "Is there something I can do for you, Sara?"

I smiled. Despite his odd behavior, I realized that I liked Dr Rodney McKay. "Actually, there is," I told him, "Could you please point me in the direction of the gymnasium?"

He straightened his posture, "I can do one better than that," he said, "I can take you there myself."

"Really? That would be great," I assured him. "Thanks."

He turned and began walking back in the direction he had come from and I followed alongside. "So, what do you think of Atlantis so far?" he asked me.

"To be honest, I haven't seen much of the place yet - just my room and the hospital," I told him. He seemed disappointed that I wasn't full of immediate praise and so I hastened to add, "But it seems nice enough so far."

He smiled, evidently pleased by my reply. "You should check out the cafeteria," he told me, "They make the best barbecued chicken sandwiches… "Oh, and the movie theatre, you need to check that out too."

I frowned. "Movie theatre?"

He nodded, "You know - Movie. Theatre." He saw my blank expression, "Where you go to watch fictional characters lead impossibly wonderful - or sometimes perilous, depending on what kind of movie you are watching - lives, on the big screen."

I gave him a blank look.

"I guess you need to see it for yourself," he said. "Maybe we could go together some time…" He broke off as he realized what he had said. "I mean, not go together as in _go_ together," he explained as gestured with his hands for emphasis, "But you know…"

I nodded. "Sure," I said, anxious to put him out of his misery "That would be nice."

"It would?" He appeared surprised, and I watched him break into a hesitant smile. "Well, okay then." He came to a stop. "Here we are, outside the gymnasium - which I might add is my least favorite place to be. Why a person would want to inflict the pain of physical exertion upon oneself unnecessarily is beyond my level of understanding."

I nodded and glanced through the open door to where I saw Ronon. He was engaged in hand to hand combat with another man, and as I watched, he flipped his opponent over and threw him to the ground with bone shattering impact.

Beside me, Rodney winced. "My point exactly," he said. He glanced at me and it must have dawned on him that it Ronon I had come to see. "Well, I'll leave you to it then," he said. "Carson wants to go over your x-rays with me, so no doubt I'll be seeing you again soon." He gave me an awkward smile.

"Thanks," I returned his smile and added a small wave as he left. The moment he was gone I stepped into the gymnasium and looked around. There was quite a crowd of people standing around watching, and nobody seemed to notice as I joined them. In the center of the room, Ronon was fighting against two new opponents. I watched him sweep the legs out from under one man, and then knock the other down with two swift blows to the body. Another man stepped up and he dealt to him them with equal efficiency. I noticed Colonel Shepherd across the room and saw he was in conversation with Dr. Elizabeth Weir. I had been introduced to Dr Weir when she came to meet me in the infirmary earlier, and I knew she was the person in charge of the city. The pair of them seemed to be studying Ronon with interest and I moved through the crowd to get closer to them.

"…He's an _incredible _shot," I heard Colonel Shepherd say as I got within hearing range "None of my guys can beat him in a fight, _and_ he's ex-military." There was no mistaking the admiration in his voice, and for the first time I wondered if Ronon and I had been invited to Atlantis entirely without motive. The Colonel saw me approach and he broke off their conversation to greet me. "Sara, I'm pleased you found us. Dr. Weir and I were just talking about you."

'You were?" I raised my eyebrows. Obviously I had missed that part of the conversation.

"You proved to us earlier that you could handle a fire arm; we were wondering if you've had any kind of combat training?"

I thought about my encounter with the convicts. I had managed to land a couple of decent blows before they overpowered me. Maybe I did have some kind of combat experience?. "I think I might have had _something," _I said, "But I'm not really sure of the extent. Mostly I used my gun to defend myself against the wraith."

"How do you feel about having a go now?" he asked.

"What, with all of these people watching?" I looked at Ronon - who was now engaged in a stick fight with a new opponent - and saw all of the strangers who studied his every move. Their presence didn't seem to bother him, but I knew I didn't feel as comfortable about putting myself on show. What if I turned out to be a complete amateur?

The Colonel cupped his hands to his mouth and addressed the crowd of people, "Okay people, listen up. The show's over for today. I'm sure you all have other things you should be doing anyway, so how about we move it along now, huh?" The crowd immediately began to disburse and he called out to one of them "Teyla?" I recognized the woman who had been with him on Sateda earlier that day, "Can you wait behind for a moment?"

By this time, Ronon had sauntered over to join us, and I watched him prop himself up against one of the walls to watch as the Colonel handed me two short sticks. I was conscious of Ronon's eyes on me as I did a couple of stretches and turns to get the feel of the sticks in my hands. When Teyla stepped up to join me a moment later, I pushed all other thoughts from my mind as we exchanged a couple of gentle tit-for-tat blows . I quickly realized I had fought in this style before and as I began to counter Teyla's strikes with some of my own, I felt her adjust her skill level to match mine. I put more force into my blows and weaved and ducked to avoid those that were aimed in my direction. The sticks now felt more familiar to me, but at the back of my mind I knew they weren't quite what I was used to fighting with. There was something else… I tried to work out what that might be and I suddenly felt one of my sticks fly out of my grasp. Too late I realized I had let my concentration lapse. The woman I faced was too strong an opponent not to capitalize on my error. Disappointed in myself, I lowered my other hand and conceded the fight to Teyla.

The Colonel immediately stepped between us. "Impressive," he said to me. "Teyla is top of her game, you did well to hold your own against her."

"I agree," Teyla said. "I would very much like to practice with you again."

I was surprised by their praise. I had the oddest feeling that I could do much, much better, but I didn't know how or why. "Thanks," I said carefully. I didn't want to mention the way I felt for fear they would think I was exaggerating. The Colonel leaned to have a brief word with Teyla, and I took the chance to approach Ronon. He pushed himself away from the wall as I got close, and I watched him hook his thumbs over the top of his belt as he looked down at me.

"Well, how are you finding it so far?" I asked.

He shrugged. "The food's good," he said casually.

I smiled as I recalled Dr McKay telling me the same thing. "So I hear," I said, and then lowered my voice so as not to be overheard. "I think the Colonel is impressed by you," I told him.

He shrugged again. "Seems I could say the same for you," he replied.

I glanced over my shoulder at where the Colonel was now talking to Dr. Weir and I fidgeted uneasily. "What did you think?" I asked Ronon.

He raised an eyebrow. "Honestly?"

I nodded, puzzled he would ask me so. "Of course."

He grinned slowly, and then leaned closer to speak to me. His lips were just millimetres from my ear and his body invaded my personal space as I heard him whisper, "Watchin' you fight just now…kind'a turned me on."

I felt my body flood with heat. That was certainly not the response I had expected. I pulled back a little and he caught my gaze. Suddenly, all I could think about was last night and how his body had felt against mine. I wanted to reach out and touch him again, but now was neither the time nor the place for what I had in mind.

"Alright then," Colonel Shepherd broke into my line of thought. "I think we'll call it a day with that. You two might wanna get some rest." He looked at me, "Tomorrow Carson's going to take a closer look into the cause of your memory loss, Sara. And Ronon, the team and I have a short trip off world planned. We thought you might like to accompany us."

Ronon nodded, and two armed men suddenly appeared at his side. He paid them little attention, and I realized this was not the first time they had escorted him. He turned to me and lowered his voice, "Some other time," he said.

I blushed. His comment would appear innocent enough to those around us, but to me it was an indication that last night was not a one off thing between us. I watched him leave the room with the two men in tow and decided that 'some other time' could not come quickly enough.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Sorry for the huge gap between updates. My computer froze and I lost the entire original version of this chapter and had to re-write it from scratch. I then sent my PC in to have it looked at and it took almost a week to fix. I'm not completely happy with the re-write but at this stage I just want to post what I have and move on with the story. I hope the pace is not getting too slow for everyone, and for that reason I have held back until I have the next chapter to post alongside as a double update. Thank you insanekitty19, hifield, Cry 4 Me and MissMayHem85 for reviewing my last chapter. I hope you are all still keen to keep reading after my absence. As a side note, if you want to poke holes in my knowledge of brain surgery in this chapter, then you probably won't have to look very far!

**Ronon POV**

"Ronon, you're just in time," Dr. Carson said as he appeared beside me. "I'm about to go over Sara's x-rays with her." He tucked a large envelope under his arm as he turned and began to walk. "Come with me," he called over his shoulder. I followed him in silence through the main hospital ward and then further on to a private room off to the side. There, I saw Sara propped up on a bed in the corner, surrounded by Shepherd, McKay and Teyla. They looked up as Carson and I entered the room and I saw that like myself, the three of them were dressed and ready to go off-world. I had not seen Sara since the sparring session in the gym the evening before, and I inclined my head towards her as she gave me a small smile. I took up position behind the others as I waited for Carson to start talking. He pulled up a stool and switched on a light connected to an illuminated board beside Sara's bed. "I assume you don't mind me going over this with everyone?" he asked her. She shook her head and he produced an x-ray from the envelope he carried and clipped it to the top of the board. "Alright," he began, "As Rodney and I suspected, the transmitter is attached to the occipital bone of the skull. The area of the brain that affects the memory is situated just above this in the cerebral cortex." He circled the area with a pen. "It appears the transmitter has extended small barbs to secure itself to the skull. From what I can see, one of these barbs has hooked beneath the occipital bone and is now pressed up against the cerebral cortex. Thankfully, the barb does not look to have pierced the brain tissue." He turned from the x-ray to face Sara, "Otherwise, we would most likely be looking at far more severe side effects than just memory loss."

Sara nodded her head and seemed to accept this news calmly. I found it difficult to believe she could be so impartial, and wondered how much of her composure was for the benefit of those around her. "Is there anything you can do for her?" I straightened up and asked.

"There is," Carson replied, "But it will require fairly complex surgery." He turned back to Sara as he continued. "If we lift the skin over the area, the transmitter itself should be fairly straight forward to remove. It's this barb here," he indicated the area on the x-ray, "That might prove more difficult."

"Is it necessary to operate?" Shepherd cut in. "I mean... is it possible if we do nothing her memory will return on its own?"

"To be honest, I can't be entirely sure," Carson admitted. "The fact the transmitter has been in place for over seven months and Sara has not regained any memory at all during this time, even despite its deactivation, would indicate probably not."

The room fell silent. "How do you plan to get the barb out?" Sara asked.

"Laser surgery," Carson replied. "Atlantis has the very best of advanced technology, as well as a team of highly skilled surgeons. The operation would not be without risk, but if you chose to undergo it, I am confident we can offer you the best possible chance of success."

Shepherd cleared his throat to speak. "I've already talked the possibility of an operation over with Dr. Weir," he told Sara. "Atlantis has agreed to give its full endorsement if you wish to go through with surgery. Whatever you decide to do, we want you to know that you have our backing."

Sara was quiet for a moment and I watched her think things over. "How long would the operation take?" she asked Carson.

"The transmitter looks to have four barbs, it would depend on how easy these are to extract," he explained. "I'd estimate you'd be looking at around two hours under anesthetic."

"Do you think removing the transmitter and these... barbs is all that is needed to bring my memory back?"

Carson shook his head slowly. "I wish I could tell you yes, but to be honest there is no way to know for certain. Even if we remove the transmitter and all four barbs, there is still a chance your memory may not return - or perhaps that it will return only in part."

Sara didn't reply, and Carson got to his feet. "I'll give you some time to think things over," he said. "There's no hurry to decide. We can operate if and when you feel ready." He patted the back of her hand as it lay upon the bed sheet and began to pack away the x-ray and clip board.

Shepherd straightened up and addressed the others in the room. "Right, looks like it's time for us to move out," he said. His eyes met with mine and I knew included me also.

"I'll be with you in a moment," I said as the three of them began to leave.

He nodded. "We'll be in the gate room."

I approached Sara's bedside and waited as the room emptied out. "So, what do you make of it all?" I asked when we were alone.

She shook her head. "I'm not really sure. I hate not knowing who I am, but the thought of surgery scares me."

I nodded. "Carson said there is still a chance your memory could return by itself," I reminded her.

"Yeah," she agreed. "But you heard him. I haven't remembered a thing the whole time the transmitter has been in place, so it seems unlikely." She thought for a moment, "What do you think?"

I was hesitant to give my opinion either way. The operation might concern her life, and I felt the decision should be up to her to make. "These people seem to know what they are talking about," I said.

She nodded. "I agree," she said, and then, unwilling to let the subject drop, she rephrased the question, "But do you think the operation is worth the risk? What would you do?"

I shook my head. "I can't make that decision for you," I told her. I tried to imagine how I would feel in her position, and I realized that no matter what had happened on Sateda, my memories were the only part of my people and my home world that I had left. I could not imagine how it would feel to lose them. "I think it must be hard not knowing where you come from." I told her.

She nodded. "I feel so frustrated at times. It's like I'm living in limbo, waiting for something that might never happen. I feel like I can't move forward until I can move back first." She smiled, "And now I know I'm not making any sense," she said.

I smiled back at her, but didn't reply. This was something she needed to work through herself; anything I said would only complicate things. She lifted her hand and brushed her hair back from her face. "Okay," she said with a sigh, "I think I'm going to let them operate."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I hadn't expected her to come to a decision quite so quickly. She turned to look at me, and I saw the resolve in her eyes. I knew she was set in her decision and it was unlikely that she would change her mind. "I understand," I told her.

We both fell silent for a moment, and I was conscious of the minutes passing by while the others waited for me in the gate room. I saw Sara glance towards the door and I knew she was aware of it too. "I don't have to go," I told her. "Shepherd will understand."

She shook her head. "There's nothing you can do. I'll be well looked after here."

I knew what she said was right, but it didn't make it any easier to leave. I nodded, and reached out to squeeze her hand gently. "Good luck," I told her.

She smiled, "You too."

I left her bedside before I could hesitate further. On my way out of the infirmary I sought out Carson. He was talking to one of his medical staff as I approached. "You got a minute?" I asked.

"Certainly," he replied as he broke off the conversation with his colleague. "What can I do to help?"

"If this operation goes ahead, who's going to be in charge?"

"That would be me," he smiled, "Although, I might add, my team are more than capable of performing the operation without my assistance."

I held his gaze for a long moment before I spoke again. "Just so you know," I told him, "If anything goes wrong, I'm gonna hold you personally responsible."

To my surprise, he nodded his head. "You have nothing to fear," he said. "Should Sara decide to proceed with the operation, I promise you she will be in the best possible hands."

I put my hand on my hip and held his gaze for a moment longer. "I have to go," I said, "But I'll be back to check on her later."

"Very well," he replied. "You can trust me to do my best by her until then."

I gave him a curt nod and left the infirmary.

XXX

"You did well today," Shepherd told me as we stepped out of the gate back onto Atlantis.

I nodded. The trip off world had not involved the wraith, but we had encountered instead a number of hostile villagers who lived hidden in a mountainside settlement. Although Shepherd had tried to negotiate with them, in the end we resorted to firepower to ensure our return to the gate. While we were away, Carson radioed through to inform us that Sara had requested he proceed with her operation. This was no surprise to me, but I was taken back to learn that he planned to do so almost immediately. I turned to Shepherd. Now that we were back at Atlantis, I was keen to check on her as soon as possible. "You mind if I head out to the infirmary?" I asked.

"Not at all," he replied. "The rest of us were planning to head down there soon anyway. We'll get cleaned up a bit and meet you there."

I didn't wait to hear more. I strode through the corridors and made my way towards the hospital. Carson looked up as I entered the main ward. "Well, hello again," he said. He did not appear surprised to see me, and I guessed he had been forewarned of my arrival.

"How is she?" I asked.

He gave me a broad smile. "I'm pleased to inform you that the surgery was a success," he said. "The procedure was shorter than we expected, and we managed to remove the transmitter and extract all four barbs without complication. I ran through the details with Sara when she regained consciousness about half an hour ago, and at the moment she is currently resting again."

"Can I see her?"

"Certainly, but try not to disturb her. She needs plenty of rest if she's going to make a full recovery." He pointed towards a doorway and I walked through to see Sara asleep on a bed in the middle of a tiny room. She was hooked up to a number of machines and a drip was fed into the back of her right hand. I stood over her bed and looked down at her. Her head was partly obscured by a thick white bandage, and she for the first time since I had know her, she appeared frail and small.

Carson came up behind me and checked a couple of the machines she was linked to. "Considering the nature of the surgery, she's doing extremely well," he told me, his voice low. "All of her vitals are stable and she appears to be resting soundly." He looked up as Shepherd, McKay and Teyla appeared at the small window outside the room. "Excuse me," he said, as he left me alone and went to tell the others of Sara's progress. A few minutes later, he returned to the room alone. "It's possible she might sleep from now right through the night," he told me. "In fact, it would be best if she did." He paused for a moment, "What I'm trying to say here is that you're waiting to speak with her, then you're probably going to be in for a very long wait. If you have other things you need to do, I'd recommend you go about them and I'll send word to you the moment she shows any sign of waking."

"Thanks," I said, "But I'll wait."

He raised his eyebrows. "Very well then," he conceded. "There's a chair in the corner if you need it."

I glanced at the black leather recliner and smiled. "Thanks," I said, and on impulse I reached out and slapped him on the back, "For everything."

"I can assure you, it was my pleasure," he replied professionally, but I could tell by his smile that he was pleased by my words. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have rounds to get back too."

I watched him leave the room and then I dragged the chair out of the corner and placed it beside the bed. A moment later I sat down and began to wait.

**Sara POV**

I opened my eyes cautiously. My head ached and my throat felt dry, but I certainly felt better than when I woke the first time after surgery. I lay in the semi darkness and tried to guess what time it was. If the near silence around me was any indication, it was probably late evening or early morning. A needle was inserted into the back of my right hand and I lifted my other to feel the bandage on my head. It started just above my eyebrows and covered most of my head, my ears included. My throat seemed to feel drier by the moment, and I turned to see if there was a glass of water on the bedside table. I paused in mid-movement as I suddenly noticed Ronon, asleep in an armchair beside the bed. I had not seen him until now because I was seated so high up and he was slouched down in the chair. I was so shocked to see him there that for a moment all I could do was stare at him. His head was tilted back and rested upon the top of the chair, while his long legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankles to rest against the metal railing of the bed frame. His hands lay loosely in his lap and the steady rise and fall of his chest indicated he was resting soundly. How many hours had I been asleep for? Had he been there all of that time? I pondered this as I looked up and saw Carson enter the room.

"Sara," he smiled, his voice low due to the silence in the ward next door. "I'm please to see you're awake." He approached the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty," I ground out, surprised by how hoarse my voice sounded.

"That's to be expected," he told me, and reached to pour a small glass of water from the jug at my bedside. "Here," he said, "Mind you sip it slowly. Give your system plenty of time to adjust."

I took his advice and swallowed just a tiny amount. The cool liquid immediately made me feel better and I cleared my throat a little so I could speak. "What's the time?" I whispered.

"It's a little after six thirty, I've just started the morning rounds," he replied. He stepped behind me to check the monitors and I saw him jot down a couple of notes on a small notepad. Beside him, Ronon suddenly stirred and we both turned to look at him. I thought he would wake, but he surprised me by shifting a little and then becoming still again. I smiled. "How long's he been here for?" I asked Carson.

"He and Colonel Shepherd returned to Atlantis late yesterday afternoon," he told me, an amused smile upon his face, "It would be safe to say he's been here pretty much ever since. I told him you would most likely sleep through until morning, but he was quite insistent that he stay." He raised his eyebrows at me conspiringly, "After seeing the man in action, I didn't feel inclined to argue with him."

I smiled. That I could understand. Carson dropped his note book back into his pocket and walked around the bed to where Ronon slept. "Now, do you want to wake the lion, or should I?" he asked

I shook my head gently. "No," I said, "Don't disturb him yet."

Carson looked at me like I had just lost my mind. "I don't think you quite understand," he said. "The man has been here all night. If we don't wake him now, I can assure you, he's_ not _going to be pleased." He didn't wait for me to argue; instead he put his hand on Ronon's shoulder and gently shook him awake. Ronon came around with a start and jerked his legs back from the bed frame as if to stand up.

"Easy there," Carson said, "Sara's just woken up. I thought you might want to speak with her."

Ronon's posture relaxed a little and he pushed himself out of his chair to stand next to me. "How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

I was surprised to find him so worried, and I suddenly felt a little vulnerable under the intensity of his gaze. I could not understand why this might be; I had coped with the operation and everything else just fine until this moment, so it made no sense to tear up now that it was all over. No amount of rationalization seemed about to prevent the lump that formed in my throat though, and I tried to swallow so I could speak. "I feel good," I told him, and broke off as my voice waivered. He must have heard the emotion in my tone, because he reached out and closed his hand over mine. It was such a simple gesture, yet the warmth of his touch not only registered against my skin but somewhere deep inside my chest. I suddenly realized how naive I was to think I had faced the operation alone. How could I be alone when Ronon thought enough to stay by my side through the night? I didn't know why he would chose to do so; I only knew that I was glad that he had. Before I could delve into my feelings more deeply, Carson approached the bed and Ronon released my hand and stood back to allow him room. Grateful for the interruption, I let Carson to roll up the white sleeve of my hospital gown and slip a fabric cuff around my arm.

"I'm just going to take your blood pressure," he explained as I felt the cuff contract around my arm. I waited for a moment and then the band went slack again. "122 over 80," Carson informed me with a smile. "That's looking good." He shone a bright light into each of my eyes." Are you experiencing any dizziness or nausea?"

"No," I told him. "I've got a bit of a headache though."

"I can give you something for that," he assured me. "Now, before I go and check the other patients, do you have any questions you'd like to ask?"

"How long do you expect me to be in here for?" I immediately asked.

"At this stage, I would like you kept here under supervision for at least the next three days," he told me.

"Three days?" I repeated in shock.

He held up his hand to cut off my protests. "Your body and mind both need time to recover from the operation. I want you on complete bed rest until I can be sure we have done everything possible to aid your recovery." His expression softened as he looked at me. "We still don't know if or how your memory will return, Sara. You may recall fragments of things over an extended period of time, or it could all come back to you in a rush at once. Depending on what it is you remember, you might find it very hard to cope. Because we know nothing of your history, I would like you kept under supervision in the interim just to be safe." He looked at me in question, "Is there anything you recall now that you couldn't before the operation?"

I thought for a moment. "Not really. I still feel exactly the same as I did before."

He nodded. "It's early days. Try not to pressure yourself to remember and I'm sure things will return to you if and when you are ready. In the mean time, you have three days of relaxation to look forward to."

My heart sank again at the mention of the time I was to spend in bed. I looked to Ronon for back up, hopeful he might speak up on my behalf, but he just gave me a wry smile. "Sounds like you should listen to the man," he said.

I let out a sigh of exasperation and settled more deeply into the bed. Despite my current headache, three days of bed rest sounded like a cruel form of torture. I shot a frustrated look at Carson's back, but he did not seem about to revise his orders and a moment later he said goodbye and left the room.

"Well, I guess that's that," I groaned the moment he was gone. It wasn't that I didn't feel grateful for all that he had been done for me; I just knew that I wasn't one to sit around idle for long.

Ronon grinned. "Look on the bright side," he said, "It's pretty clear you're not on the run any more."

I rolled my eyes, "I know," I said. "Next time I'll be more careful what I wish for." I pushed myself carefully into a more upright position. "So, how'd it go yesterday?"

"You mean with Shepherd?"

I nodded. "What happened off-world?"

He shrugged. "We met some hostiles and then had to blast our way back to the gate."

I smiled. "Sounds like fun."

"It was," he agreed, and a slow grin spread across his face.

It suddenly dawned on me that he had already begun to form a bond with Atlantis and its people – a bond that so far I did not share – and I felt my earlier feelings of isolation begin to return. It was difficult to fit in with strangers when I knew so little about who I was. For all I knew, my own people might still be searching for me. I felt it extremely disloyal to unite with others and turn my back on my own kind without even trying to discover if they still existed first. For this reason, I held myself a little in reserve as Colonel Shepherd and Rodney entered the room.

"How's the patient doing this morning?" The Colonel asked as he acknowledged both Ronon and I with a nod of his head.

"I'm doing okay," I replied. There was no doubt that the concern he showed for me was genuine, and for that I felt torn all over again. He continued on easily, oblivious to my predicament.

"Glad to hear it," he said. "Carson tells us your prognosis is looking good."

Rodney lifted his hand to his chin and looked at me thoughtfully. "Although he did mention that you still have no memory recollection." He rubbed his chin with his forefinger as he stared at me, and I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or thinking aloud. "Interesting..." he muttered. "I wonder… is it possible the barb has left an indentation on the brain tissue beneath where it rested? This could explain why you still don't remember anything, despite the transmitter's removal." He removed his finger from his chin and waggled it in my direction. "I need to look into this," he told me, "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back." And with that he spun on his heel and abruptly left the room.

I raised my eyebrows and looked after him as I tried to make sense of what he had just said. Colonel Shepherd saw my confusion and came to my rescue. "Don't mind Rodney," he said with a crooked smile. "He gets this way while he's working on a problem. It might take him a few hours, but if there's anything to discover you can bet he will be the one to find it." He lowered his voice, "Just don't tell him that I said so, alright?"

Despite my earlier feelings of melancholy, I smiled. It was hard to feel sorry for myself around people who were so affable and eager to help.

"Anyway," the Colonel continued, "I'm pleased to hear that you're on the mend. In the mean time, I was hoping to borrow your friend here," he gestured to Ronon, "To help me go over some combat moves with the men in the gym." I watched as he spoke to Ronon directly. "They were pretty impressed by what they saw yesterday and I hoped you might run through a couple of techniques with them while it's all still fresh in their minds?"

I could sense Ronon's eagerness to comply, and I suddenly felt guilty that I had resented him the chance to connect with people again after all he had been through and lost. I settled myself down a little lower in the bed and gave him a smile as he caught my gaze.

"I'll stop by again later," he said, indicating to me that he was leaving. I nodded, and watched as he and the Colonel left the room together. The day was beginning to start up around me and I could hear noises filter in from the hospital ward next door. I lay still for a while as I listened to them, and then I closed my eyes and slept again.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN:** I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. Sorry for any errors, I have edited so many times that I can barely see straight. WARNING: contains explicit adult content.

**Sara POV**

To my surprise the days of enforced bed rest passed by a lot quicker than I imagined. Maybe Carson was right and I really did need the rest after all, but whatever the reason, it wasn't until the final night of my hospital stay that I finally began to grow restless. By this time I was back in the main hospital ward, separated from the single other patient – an overweight, middle aged cleaner with a dislocated knee – by a thin sheet of curtain. He slept soundly, his snores resounding around the room so that I battled both with insomnia and the insistent noise he made. I closed my eyes and doubled my efforts to go to sleep, but the harder I tried the more impossible it became for me to do so. I tossed and turned for another few minutes and then sat up in the bed. My eyes fell to the new set of clothes that Teyla had placed on the bedside cabinet for me the day before. Apparently the leather pants and vest that I wore when I came to Atlantis were so ragged they had been deemed unsalvageable. The garments had been useful as little more than to serve as a pattern for an entirely new outfit, and without my knowledge this had been carried out while I recovered from surgery. I suddenly became curious as to what the new clothes might look like, and I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stepped down onto the floor to take a look. Gone were my brown leather pants, replaced instead with a similar style in black. I pulled the white hospital gown off over my head and quickly dragged them on over my hips. To my surprise, they fitted perfectly. For being so new, the leather was surprisingly soft and supple as I tried on the matching dark grey halter top I found it was almost an exact replica of the burgundy one it replaced. The only thing that didn't fit so well was the black halter bra. It felt a little on the small side and it made my breasts sit higher on my chest than I was used to. As I already had my top on over it by now, I decided to leave it on regardless. It felt nice to wear one again after so long without anyway. Pleased with my appearance, I combed my hair out with my fingers and let it hang loose around my shoulders. The only physical indication of my recent surgery was a small bald spot right at the back of my head. I was thankful the surgical team had not needed to shave my entire head to remove the transmitter, and the spot was small enough to be hidden by the rest of my hair unless someone knew specifically where to look.

I took a deep breath and pulled back the curtain that separated me from the rest of the ward. I really had no idea of where I intended to go, I just knew that I needed to get out of bed for a while. The man with the injured knee continued to snore, and I passed by his bed unnoticed and slipped out into the dimly lit corridor. I was conscious that nobody would expect me to be out of bed at such a late hour, and as I began to walk I prayed I would not run into anyone who might question my intentions. For this reason I deliberately avoided the turn that would take me towards the gate room – if anyone was awake at this hour, I felt I would be most likely to encounter them there. I passed by the deserted cafeteria and a moment late I came to the gymnasium. The room was in total darkness, but I felt strangely compelled to go inside. I stepped through the doorway and jumped as the sensor lights came on and flooded the area with light. I hesitated for a moment and then when nobody appeared to question my appearance, I walked around the edge of the room to where the combat sticks were hung. Again I was filled with the oddest sensation that there was something I was on the edge of knowing, and this time I passed over the short sticks I had used to spar with Teyla and picked up the single long stick I had seen Ronon use instead. Although I could not recall holding one before, to my surprise the stick felt comfortable and familiar in my hands. I stepped back into the centre of the room and began to swing it around my body in a rhythmic pattern. The balance and flow of my movements seemed to come naturally, and as my confidence grew I incorporated a series of jabs and thrusts into my movements. My hair flew about my face, and each time I moved I had to concentrate not to let it distract me. I was focusing so hard, that at first I did not notice I was no longer alone in the room. It was only when Ronon stepped into the middle of the floor with me that I suddenly realized I had an audience. I lowered the stick and looked at him, my chest rising and falling as I tried to catch my breath. How long had he been watching me for?

He rested a hand casually upon his hip and I saw a smile play around the corners of his mouth. "Thought you were supposed to be taking it easy," he said.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Thought you were supposed to be in bed," I countered.

He shrugged and took a step towards me. "Couldn't sleep," he explained, "Figured I'd come down here for a work out…" His eyes looked my up and down as he continued, "I didn't expect the place to be occupied at this time of night."

"I didn't plan to be here," I told him, "I just felt like I needed to get away from it all for a while and this is where I ended up." I noticed he had changed his usual leather pants for a pair of loose track pants. His upper half was covered by a light brown, loose fitting tank, the neck line of which was trimmed in leather of a similar color. Other than the leather guards at his wrists, his arms were bare, and I watched the muscles in them flex as he shifted his hand from his hip and walked over to the wall to pick up a stick of his own.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Sure, why not." I watched him pull his hair back from his face and secure it in place at the nape of his neck. He raised his stick towards me and waited for my move. I felt his eyes upon me and I suddenly remembered what he had told me about the effect watching me fight had on him the other day. I tried to push the thought to the back of my mind, but it was still a moment before I recovered myself enough to launch an attack at him. He blocked my blow and countered immediately, but I anticipated the move and ducked before he could connect.

He smiled. "Nice," he said, and his eyes were full of admiration as he swung at me again. I blocked his jab, and for a moment we circled each other warily

"Don't go easy on me," I said as I took an abrupt swipe at his leg.

He jumped out of the way. "If that's the way you want it," he replied, and swung at me again with more force.

Although he was taller than me and had a better reach, I found myself adjusting to his moves with unexpected fluency. I did not imagine I could beat him – unless I somehow managed to get very lucky – but I was semi-confident I could at least hold him off for a short time and perhaps manage to land a couple of blows in the process. I grit my teeth and struck out at him again. As my blow connected with his stick, I closed my eyes, and all at once I was standing in a completely different gymnasium. Familiar, and yet oddly disorientated with my surroundings, I suddenly realized that the opponent I faced had also changed. I could not see his physical form, but I could hear his voice as he coached me on how and when to move. He laughed, and a warm, secure feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I cared for this man, and I knew without doubt that he cared for me too. The vision passed as quickly as it came, and I opened my eyes to find myself back in the sparring room with Ronon. He gave me a puzzled look, and I realized I had lowered my guard.

"You okay?" he asked.

I frowned. Was I okay? What had just happened? Slowly I nodded my head. "I'm fine," I assured him, "It felt like I just remembered something…"

He raised his eyebrows in interest. "Something like what?"

I adjusted my grip on my stick and raised it to face him again. "It doesn't matter," I said. I wasn't sure myself what it was that I had just experienced and I didn't want to have to try and put it into words right now. Maybe if I continued to fight, something more would come back to me? I grit my teeth and lunged at Ronon again. He fended me off with relative ease and forced me to take a step backwards as he went on the attack. I realized that despite his assurances to the contrary, it was only now that he was really beginning to fight me to the best of his ability. I suspected I was only a few seconds away from being knocked off my feet, but the knowledge could not stop me from admiring how formidable he looked in full battle form. His long, powerful limbs and perfectly sculpted body flexed with every move he made, and I suddenly felt extremely diminutive as I stood next to him. His face was a mask of aggression and concentration, and despite my predicament, I felt a heavy pull in my loins as I responded to the raw masculinity that he radiated. He feigned a movement in one direction and I shifted to combat it, only to find him attack from the opposite angle and knock my stick from my hands. I staggered beneath the impact of the blow, and unable to recover, I fell to the ground on my back. He dropped to one knee beside me and pinned me to the floor with his stick and then the weight of his body. His face was inches from mine, and I was acutely aware of the hard column of his thigh pressed firmly against my own. The mood between us shifted, and the aggression I had admired in him moments before swiftly morphed into something different, but equally as powerful in nature. His eyes held mine, his gaze infused with desire and I suddenly found it difficult to breathe. He pulled back a little and tossed the stick aside so that it clattered to the floor somewhere behind my head. I wondered if he was about to take me right there and then on the floor, regardless of who might walk in, when instead he slowly lifted himself off me and got to his feet. He leaned down and grasped my hand to pull me up beside him. "Let's get out of here," he said his voice so deep and guttural with need that it was barely recognizable as his own. Before I could properly regain my balance he slipped his fingers through mine and led me from the room. It suddenly dawned on me that I had no idea of where we were going, and for one awful moment I though he might intend to return me to my bed at the infirmary. I held my breath, and then exhaled as he led me down a corridor and off in a totally different direction to where I had come from earlier. A moment later he ran his hand over the access panel to his room and the door slid open to allow us inside. Sidelights came on as we entered, but I barely had time for more than a quick glance around before he pulled me towards him. I braced my arms against his chest and felt the hard lines of his body press against my own. "You sure you're up to this?" he rasped as his mouth hovered inches above my own.

I couldn't speak. I knew he was worried about my recent operation, but right at this moment my health was the last thing on my mind. I wanted him so badly that I could hardly think straight. I nodded my head, and then his lips were on mine and nothing else mattered anymore. His kiss seared my mouth, possessive, demanding, so that I quickly became light headed with longing. I circled my hands behind his neck to steady myself, and his body came into full contact with mine. The soft fabric of his track pants left nothing to my imagination, and as he slowly rotated his hips against mine, I could feel the hard length of his arousal from root to tip. His hand travelled down my back and cupped my left butt cheek and I found myself matching his slow gyration. I dragged my mouth away from his long enough to grasp the hem of his top and tug it up his torso. The tanned skin of his abdomen became visible and he released me for a moment to raise his arms so that I could remove the garment fully. I watched his chest muscles flex as he lowered his arms back to his sides and then I trailed my fingertips across his chest, dry mouthed at the sheer expanse of powerfully built male flesh in front of me. I was barely aware of his fingers lowering the zip on the side of my halter top, I was too busy tracing the curves of his chest with my lips, my tongue, my teeth. I nuzzled aside the leather strap that dangled around his neck and slowly ran my tongue over his left nipple. He sucked in his breath and then I felt him push me away so that he could lift my own top over my head. My breasts instantly threatened to spill out over the top of my too-small bra and I was acutely aware of how high and round they sat as they ached for his attention. He reached out and cupped the weight of one of them in his palm, and in response my nipples hardened into rigid peaks beneath their soft confines. His thumb brushed against one nub and my head fell back as I moaned in pleasure. A moment later he undid the clasp of my bra and my breasts sprang free towards his touch. He cupped one in his palm and kneaded its mass with his fingers, giving the peak a firm pinch before releasing it to repeat the process on the other. His lips were still in my hair, on my cheek, against my jaw, and I ran my hand down his stomach to graze my fingernails against the sensitive skin below his navel. He pinched my nipple harder in encouragement and I reached down further to rub my palm against the throbbing bulge that was visible through the soft fabric of his work out pants.

"The bed…" he rasped into my hair as he began to guide me backwards across the room. I continued to rub him with my hand while I hooked my other arm around his neck to support myself. The backs of my legs came into contact with the bed, and he gently pushed me down onto the soft animal hide that lay on top of it. As I lay back, his lips shifted from my neck to my breasts and then further down to my stomach. He sank down on his haunches at the foot of the bed and began to remove my boots. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he tossed first one boot and then the other aside, and then reached for the belt buckle on my hips. He deftly tugged it undone and I raised my hips to allow him to lower my leathers – along with my underwear – down over my hips.

Maybe it was because this was not the first time we had been together – or perhaps I was just too aroused to care – but I didn't feel the least bit self conscious when he grasped my hips with his hands and dragged me towards the edge of the bed. He pushed my knees apart and a moment later I felt the hair on his chin brush against my inner thigh. I squirmed with anticipation as he slowly kissed and nibbled his way up my leg towards my core, and as he inched closer, I sagged back against the bed in readiness. His mouth finally closed around me and the first stroke of his tongue parted my folds with such skilled accuracy that I gasped out loud. I arched my back and his tongue brushed my center again, this time in a series of soft, languid strokes that quickly dissolved my insides into a pool of hot liquid desire. I felt him lift my right thigh from the bed and guide it so that it rested across his shoulder. I felt wanton and exposed before him, but when he eased the length of a finger inside me and matched its rhythm to that of his tongue I quickly forgot my inhibitions. My desire was already near breaking point, and I bit my lip to try and hold myself back from climaxing so soon. He joined his first finger with a second and penetrated me with long, deep strokes and I knew my attempt to hold back was only postponing the inevitable. His tongue was too soft, his movements too masterful – and I was just too darned far gone to hold myself in check for any longer. I wove my fingers through his thick dreadlocks and arched my back off the bed as I exploded into orgasm. My release was so sharp that the intensity of it left me panting for air. I fell back upon the bed, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I stretched my arms above my head and basked in the warm afterglow that enveloped my body.

At the foot of the bed, Ronon got to his feet. I opened my eyes and watched as he undid the buckles that secured the leather guards to his wrists. He caught my gaze and held it while he tossed them aside and with forearms bare, he bent to ease his soft pants down over his hips. As he straightened up again, my eyes fell to the mammoth erection that protruded from his groin. I had seen him naked and aroused before, but he was such a splendid sight that it was impossible to drag my eyes from him. He approached the bed with animal-like grace and I pulled myself further up on the mattress so that there was room for him to join me. He crawled up the length of my body, the knuckles of his fists making deep indentations in the soft bed as he hovered above me, his body not quite touching mine. I studied his face and looked away as I felt an odd emotion – something deeper than simple desire – stir within me. I didn't quite trust myself to meet his eyes again for fear of what I might betray, but an overwhelming sense of tenderness made me reach up and cup the edge of his jaw with my palm. Still avoiding his eyes, I studied his brow, his nose, his lips… I watched them curve upwards into a smile, and he leaned down to kiss me. It was easy to brush the feeling I had experienced aside as I reached up and pulled him down towards me. The heat of his skin seared into the fine sheen of sweat that had cooled upon my own, and it was impossible to ignore the hard length of him pressed without barrier against my thigh. Despite his obvious arousal, he seemed in no hurry to have his way. Instead, he kissed my lips, my cheeks, my chin, and any other piece of exposed skin he came across. I was amazed that any man could contain such self control, and as he lifted his head to look down at me, I glanced up and met his stare. For the second time that night, my breath caught in my throat. His green eyes were hot and potent, filled with such intensity that I suddenly felt as if we were both standing on the edge of an abyss that we were about to fall over. Another second and I would cross a line that I wasn't yet ready to contemplate. How could I care for a man, or for that matter, allow one to care for me, when neither of us knew who I really was? I reached my hand around to stroke the firm roundness of his buttock, and his eyes fell shut on whatever it was that had almost passed between us. He pressed himself against me, and I pushed my hand in between our bodies and grasped his erection with my fist. He fell dangerously still as I began to stroke him and I realized he was very near to the edge of his self control. It thrilled me to know that I had such power over him, and like a fool I actually believed it would last. My thighs were still slick with moisture and I parted my legs and guided him towards my entrance. He placed his hand upon my hip and I felt my fleeting moment of power evaporate as he eased himself into me with slow deliberation. My skin stretched and pulled to accommodate him, the state of my arousal so high that any discomfort went unnoticed and I ached to have him fill me deeper still. I took a long, shaky breath when he finally rooted himself inside me and then began to move in slow, gentle strokes. Most of his weight was supported by his arms and I ran my hands up the taut length of them and stroked his shoulders as his muscled flexed and relaxed with each movement he made. His lips covered my mouth again and I shifted my hands from his arms to circle his waist and pull him deeper into me. As his strokes became longer and more rhythmic I lifted my hips a little to meet him. The heavy tension in my loins began to build again for the second time that evening and I knew I was very close to climaxing. I closed my eyes and they rolled backwards beneath my lids as my breath came in short, sharp pants. Just when I felt like I was going to shatter into a thousand pieces, he suddenly stopped moving. I opened my eyes in confusion, but before I could speak, he slipped his arm around my waist and flipped me over so that I sat astride him. I felt his length penetrate me even deeper as I straightened up and looked down at him. He looked magnificent from this angle, all glistening muscle and suntanned skin. His hair splayed away from his face, and against the dark animal hide back drop he appeared very much the warrior that he was. I closed my eyes in satisfaction and my head fell back as I moved against him. His hands stroked my thighs, and he pressed the pad of his thumb against my sensitive, aching nub as I rode him. The effect was electric. I ground myself against him in ecstasy and he thrust himself into me with long, powerful strokes. I moaned as I felt the pressure build inside me to breaking point and then suddenly burst forth in a glorious rush of pleasure. My hips bucked and my body trembled as waves of pleasure engulfed me. I felt him thrust into me with even more urgency, and I came down from my own release just in time to see him reach his own. The cords of his neck strained and the muscles in his arms and chest tensed and rippled as he climaxed deep inside me. As the last of the tension ebbed from his body, he reached up and drew me down to him. I let him guide my cheek towards his chest and our bodies meshed together as I closed my eyes and listened to the steady beat of his heart.

We lay together for some time, neither of us speaking while he slowly ran his fingertips through my hair. My skin began to cool, and he pulled the animal hide around my shoulders so that I was enveloped in warmth again. It felt so nice to be held this way, but I knew it couldn't last for long. I had to leave and get back to the infirmary before I was missed. Reluctantly, I sat up.

He turned his head to look at me, and I saw his features were still soft and languid from our encounter. "You goin' somewhere?" he asked lazily.

I nodded. "I should get back to the hospital," I said, and began to move away.

He reached out and grasped my wrist, halting me mid-movement. I turned to look at him and my breath hitched as his eyes swept over my face in slow appraisal. "Stay," he said his voice deep and seductive.

I felt my resolve instantly weaken. Before I could recover enough to protest, he sat up beside me on the bed. Even seated, he was much bigger and broader than I, and my heart pounded at the way he held my gaze. He reached out and placed his hand back behind my head. "I haven't finished with you yet," he told me as he guided my mouth back towards his own. His lips were soft and suggestive, not at all demanding, yet he might as well have pinned me to the bed and forced me to stay. There was no way I was going to leave his side tonight – not when it felt so good, _so right,_ to be there with him. I closed my eyes and he gently lowered me back down to the bed beneath him. All further thought of resistance left my mind as I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him have his way.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Thank you to all of the kind people who took the time to review my double update. It is lovely to know that you are all reading. Special thanks to insanekitty19 and hifield who were kind enough to leave a review for each chapter! Welcome also to my new readers lanteanscribe and Aonitha.

This chapter was either going to be very long, or very short. In the end I decided just to keep it short (and smutty) and pick up the story line again in the next chapter. Please note rating has now been changed to M. (Thanks for the advice, Cry 4 me)

**Ronon POV**

Despite my lack of sleep the night before, I woke early the next morning. Instead of getting up for my usual morning workout though, I lay in bed on my back and stared at the ceiling. Across my chest Sara rested asleep, her body warm and relaxed as she curled into me. Her shoulder was bare above the sheets and I stroked my fingers absently across her pale skin. She did not stir and I willed myself not to think about the current state of her undress. This was no easy task, given the erotic images that still colored my memory from the night before, but with some effort I managed to stem my thoughts before they could take root in my loins. If only I could control the other feelings I had begun to experience for her so successfully. To let myself care for her when I knew so little about her would be foolish to the extreme. Then again, I never had been one to play by the rules. Already she was under my skin in a way I would not have thought possible a few short weeks ago. I glanced down at the top of her head as I thought about the life she could not remember. Somewhere out there she had a history. What had happened to her home world? Did she have family or friends searching for her? More significantly, was there a husband or lover who eagerly awaited news of her safety? My gut twisted at the thought. I was not ready to let myself care for someone only to suffer the pain of losing them again. Whatever I felt for Sara needed to be kept in check. That way, if she chose to return to a life that I was not a part of, there was the possibility that I would be able to let her go. My thoughts cut off abruptly as I heard a noise outside. I lifted my head a short way off the pillow as I realized somebody was at the door. Sara stirred against me, but did not wake. A moment later I heard a knock, and then Shepherd's voice called out.

"Ronon? You there?"

I glanced down at Sara. There was no option but to wake her, and as I sat up fully she lifted her head and looked around. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Shepherd's outside," I explained as I pushed the sheet aside and swung my feet to the floor. "Wait there." My clothes lay on the floor where I had discarded them the night before, and I quickly pulled them on again as I approached the door. A moment later I swiped the access panel and found myself looking at Shepherd.

"Hey," he said, "Sorry to wake you so early…"

I shrugged. "I was already awake," I told him. "There a problem?"

"Not really," he replied as he stepped a little closer. I was conscious that if he glanced through the doorway to the right he would be able to see Sara, and I shifted a little to try and block her from his line of view. "I don't want to worry you," he continued, "But Sara left the hospital sometime in the night. Nobody seems to have seen or heard from her and I was wondering…" he paused, and I saw him stare at something on the floor behind me. "…Uh, if you might…" he continued, and then his words suddenly trailed off all together. I turned to follow his line of sight and saw Sara's leather pants lying on the floor. "Oh," he said, and then, "Oh… _Okay,"_ as his eyes finally fell upon Sara herself. He took a step back and raised his hands, palms up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," he said, "I'll uh, let the others know that everything's fine." I raised my eyebrows in amusement as he turned and walked away as quickly as possible. I was still smiling when I closed the door and turned back to Sara.

"Oh my God," she said, as she buried her face in her hands. "I can't believe that just happened."

"I wouldn't let it get to you," I grinned, "By the look on his face; I'd say Shepherd was a lot more embarrassed about the situation than you were."

She shook her head. "Somehow I doubt that." She still clutched the white bed sheet close to her chest, her hair a dark jumble of loose auburn curls around her naked shoulders. I saw the shape of her body beneath the sheets, and damned if I didn't find myself wanting her all over again. How could I keep her at a distance when it seemed I was constantly drawn to her? She glanced up at me and something about the way I looked at her must have tipped her off to my line of thought, because her mouth fell open and she looked at me in disbelief. "Oh, no you don't…" she said.

I lifted an eyebrow and let my eyes wander over her in slow, deliberate appraisal. Caution be damned. She was naked and alone in my room, this was an opportunity that I wasn't about to pass up. She drew her knees up beside her as I approached the bed, and I noticed a faint blush tinted her cheeks. Was it my imagination, or had her grasp on the sheet eased a little also? "We can't," she protested weakly, "Not now, not when everybody knows I'm here."

I smiled, "That's where you're wrong," I told her as I knelt on the bed and leaned towards her. "Shepherd already suspects the worst, so what has either of us got to lose?" I bought my lips to within inches of her own and then paused. Every part of me ached to have her again – to push her back against the mattress and thrust myself into her without though of the future – but I held myself back. I needed to know that she burned for me as I did for her. I let my mouth hover over hers, our bodies only inches apart. "So," I breathed against her lips, "What do you say?"

She hesitated, and then to my disappointment I felt her draw back. "I need to take a shower," she said, her eyes downcast. With an effort I reined in my desire and settled back on the bed to look at her. In my need for her it had not crossed my mind that she might reject my advances. I thought I had read her better than that. She tuned away and swung her legs over the side of the bed to get up. I glanced at her back, and it was then she turned her head over her shoulder so I could see the smile that played at the corners of her mouth. "Care to join me?" she asked.

I stared at her in surprise, and then as understanding dawned, my eyes narrowed and I caught her gaze. "That's a dangerous game you play," I told her as I pushed myself away from the pillow and sat up. "You sure you're ready to deal with the consequences?" She brushed off my words with a nonchalant shrug and walked around the foot of the bed towards the bathroom. She wore not a stitch of clothing and as she passed by I admired how straight she held herself, how comfortable she appeared with her body. And what a body it was. Long, lithe limbs, a flat stomach and slim waist; and if all of that wasn't enough in itself, her long hair hung to mid way down her back and her breasts jiggled as she walked. I smirked with anticipation and swung my legs off the bed to follow her into the bathroom. Oh yes, there was going to be consequences...

I stepped into the bathroom just as she reached to turn the shower tap on. Not once did she look back to see if I had followed her, and this aroused me all the more. I leaned against the door frame and watched her test the water for temperature. Her skin was smooth alabaster over the soft cheeks of her naked rear. I recalled how good those curves had felt last night, cupped in my hands, and my desire stepped up a notch. The water began to heat and she stepped into the shower, the door left open behind her. I watched as she splashed water over her face and chest and then turned around to soak her back under the spray. She raised her hands to guide the water through her long hair and her breasts lifted high and round on her chest. My cock strained against its confines, and I decided I had seen enough. With record breaking speed I tugged my clothes off and strode across the room to join her. She stepped aside to allow me in and I heard her yelp in surprise as I pulled her towards me and then pinned her against the shower wall with my body. Hot water ran down my back, but it was tepid in comparison to the heat of her skin against mine. I crashed my lips down upon hers, demanding, devouring, not releasing her until I felt her nails rake against my chest as she struggled to breathe.

"My God," she panted, "I've never…" She reached for the wall to steady herself as she struggled for words. "That was some kiss," she finally admitted.

I smiled. She had no idea. "After that stunt you pulled earlier, you're lucky I haven't got you splayed out on the floor beneath me already," I told her as I drew her back under the running water with me. I watched her eyes run down my stomach and saw them pause and linger on the reaction of my body to hers. It was impossible to hide my arousal, and I made no attempt to do so. Let her see what she was going to get; eventually, when I decided the time was right. I picked up the cake of soap and lathered it between my hands. She reached up and joined me until both our hands were coated in slippery white foam. I returned the soap to the holder and smoothed my palms over her shoulders and down her arms. She did the same, washing my chest and abdomen in long smooth strokes that made me throb with need.

"Turn around," I told her, and was pleased when she complied without protest. I washed her back thoroughly, smoothing my slick hands over her soft skin and down to the curve of her buttocks. She moaned and leaned back towards me, her stance shifting so that I could run my hand up her inner thigh. I did so, brushing her center ever so briefly before shifting away again. She let out a shaky breath and backed towards me. The tip of my cock pushed into her back, and I circled my arms around her waist to pull her closer. Her head fell to the side and I kissed her neck while my hands cupped the weight of her breasts. From where I stood I had an enticing view of her cleavage, and I watched as I rolled each nipple in turn between my thumb and forefinger. I held her against me with one arm, her breast still cupped in my palm, while I trailed the fingers of my other hand down to the soft curls between her legs. She was like liquid fire; hot and ready for me, just as I was ready for her. She moaned as I stroked her centre, and I toyed with the idea of bending her over and taking her from behind then and there. When she pushed her hips against me in a slow circle of invitation, I very nearly gave into the temptation, but somehow I managed to step back and reach for the shampoo bottle instead. I poured the cool liquid into my palm and watched her dark red hair foam to white beneath my fingers. The soapy excess slipped down over the curves of her body, white bubbles against soft, feminine skin. Who was I kidding? In teasing her, I had become harder than I had ever been in my life. I knew if I didn't have her soon I would lose the little control I still had left. I switched positions with her in the shower and hurriedly helped her rinse the shampoo from her hair. The moment the last remnants had washed clear I turned off the hot water and reached for the towel that hung outside. It was dark green with a thick, soft pile, and I used it to pat her body dry. She rang the excess water out of her hair while I used the towel on myself, and although moisture still dripped from the end of my dreadlocks I tossed the towel aside and pulled her towards me. She made no attempt to resist me; instead she wrapped her arms around my neck and stood on tip-toes to meet my lips. I claimed her mouth with all the urgency I felt, my tongue slipping against hers as I probed and tasted. This time when I broke away she was not the only one who was short of breath. I grasped her hips and lifted her so that she could wrap her long legs around my waist. She looped her arms around my neck and kissed me from above as I carried her from the bathroom and laid her out on the bed beneath me. Her thighs fell open to expose the slickness of her core and I stroked myself against her entrance for a moment before easing myself inside. She arched her back and wrapped her legs around my hips to draw me in deeper, faster, and I grit my teeth to keep the tentative grasp I still had on my self control. Never had I wanted anything so much or so intensely. I started to move inside her with long, deep strokes, but the urgency between us quickly saw their tempo rise until each thrust became harder and deeper than the last. She took everything I gave, her hips lifting off the bed to meet me half way. The tension in her body began to gather and pull against my own, and I buried myself in her one last time as I felt her clench tight and then spiral over the edge towards orgasm. It took every ounce of restraint to stop myself from climaxing with her, but I wanted to draw this moment out for as long as possible. I wanted to feel her, to taste her, to lose myself in her for just a bit longer before reality and all of the questions it bought could come rushing back upon me. She stretched out beneath me, her body heavy and sedated, and I took a moment to calm my breathing. When I was sure I was in control again, I wrapped my arm around her waist and lifted her from the bed. Still buried deep inside her, I sat back down on the edge of the mattress with her above me. I ran my hands over her back, her hair cool and damp against my forearms as she curled her legs beneath her so that she knelt astride me. I was buried so deep inside her that I could feel every move she made, no matter how small, and when she ground her hips against me inadvertently I closed my eyes and groaned with pleasure. When I opened them and met her gaze a moment later, it was to find her regarding me with a smug smile. Obviously she thought that by being on top she was now in control again. I circled my hand around the slim wrist of her right arm and lifted her hand towards my mouth. With my eyes locked upon hers, I slowly drew each finger in turn into my mouth and leisurely circled the tip of it with my tongue. She gave me a puzzled look, and I repeated the process, making sure each finger was coated with moisture. When I was satisfied, I closed my hand around hers and guided her fingertips down between us. Her eyes widened as I placed her hand over her own sensitive nub and then began to guide it in a slow circular motion. At first she was hesitant, but I kept up my gentle encouragement until she got over her inhibition and began to enjoy the slow build up of friction. As her confidence grew, I removed my hand and she continued on alone. I grasped her naked buttocks and dragged her closer towards me. From this angle I could thrust myself up into her as she moved, and as I did so she arched her back and rubbed herself with more vigor. The sight of her, mouth open and head thrown back while she moved on top of me was one of the most erotic things I had ever seen, and if her movements alone were not enough to push me over the edge than this image would certainly have done so. I felt her body begin to shudder and I let go of my restraint and thrust into her with short, rapid strokes that quickly bought about my own release. All rational thought ceased as pulled her close and erupted inside her in a heated rush of pleasure.

It took longer to recover than I expected, and for a good few moments we lay back together on the bed, both of us too spent to move. Eventually I shifted position and Sara turned to curl up against me. I glanced at the alarm clock beside my bed and realized it was almost 8am. Shepherd would be expecting me to report for duty soon. I decided to skip breakfast so that I could lie with Sara for a bit longer, but the minutes ticked by so quickly that all too soon it was time I had to get up. "I need to get going," I said, as I propped myself up on my elbows. "Shepherd'll be waiting."

Sara yawned and lifted herself away from me. "I guess I should make a move too," she said. "I'd better go and see Carson; let him know I'm alright." She stood up and walked over to retrieve her discarded clothes from the floor. "I have no idea what I'm going to say about leaving the hospital without telling him."

I grinned in amusement as I dragged on my pants and boots. "Do you want me to come with you?" I asked as I removed a fresh top from the drawer and pulled it on over my head.

"You _have_ to be joking," she said. "You being there would make things a hundred times more awkward."

I laughed and tucked the hem of my top into the waist band of my pants. The fabric was a heavy, fawn colored muslin and I pushed the long sleeves up my arms so I could secure my wrist guards in place. "Don't say I didn't offer then," I said.

She ignored my remark and zipped her halter top in place. "I don't suppose you have a comb?"

I shook my head. "Never found the need for one," I told her as I gestured to my dreadlocks.

She sighed and looked away. "Great. As if it's not bad enough that everyone already suspects I've been making out with you all night; now I have to walk down the hallway with hair that leaves them in no doubt about it."

I grinned, and reached into the draw beside the bed and picked up a hair tie to offer her. "Here," I said, "Try this."

"Oh," she took it from my hand in surprise. "Thanks." She finished combing her fingers through her hair and then pulled it back and tied it in a pony tail at the base of her neck. "How do I look?"

I shook my head. "Terrible," I said, "There's not a hair out of place. You realize you'll ruin my reputation if I let you leave my bed looking like that?"

She laughed. "Better your reputation than mine," she retorted as she turned and moved towards the door.

I smiled, and silently admired the curves of her ass as she left the room. Already I suspected that it was going to be a lot more difficult to keep my feelings for her in check than I had first imagined.

.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN:** This chapter proved slow going for some reason. Thank you to insanekitty19, Raieghn, Cry 4 Me, and Hifield for your reviews and words of encouragement. Welcome and thank you also to my new reader, Zanna.

I realize that I have misspelled 'Sheppard' as 'Shepherd' until this point. For continuity I was going to leave it the same, but it bugged me too much so I have made the switch and will spell it as 'Sheppard' from this point on. Thank you all so much for the leeway you have given me with my first attempt at a SGA fic. I appreciate your kindness!

**Sara POV**

Carson was in the main hospital ward talking with a patient when I found him. He saw me approach, and held up his hand to indicate that he would be free to talk with me in a moment. I took the chance to stand back and decide what I was going to say to him. After everything that he had done for me I felt bad that I had vanished from my bed without notice, and I knew at the very least that I owed him an apology. I watched as he finished his conversation and came over to me.

Sara," he smiled, "I trust you are feeling well this morning?"

There was no trace of irritation in his voice, but I decided to launch into the apology I had prepared anyway. "I'm fine," I replied, "I'm sorry I left without telling anybody last night. I didn't plan not to return at the time…" I trailed off as I wondered how far I should explain myself. "I haven't spoken to Ronon properly since we came to Atlantis. It turns out we had a lot of catching up to do." I realized that Carson would probably deduce we hadn't spent the entire night together just talking, but it felt better to introduce him to the possibility.

He raised his eyebrows. "Ah… of course," he said and his eyes didn't quite meet mine for a moment. Was it my imagination or did he look surprised? However he felt, he recovered himself and continued, "There really is no need to apologize, my dear. To be honest, I'm surprised you stayed in bed for as long as you did."

I raised my eyebrows. "You are?"

He chuckled beneath his breath. "I know how much you hated lying there while everyone else went about their business. I would have discharged you earlier, only I was worried if I did you would go traipsing around off-world with Colonel Sheppard and Ronon." He smiled, "Which, given the chance, I'm sure is exactly what you would have done, am I right?"

I laughed. "Am I that easy to read?"

"You and everyone else I treat," he replied. "The Colonel, Teyla, Major Lorne; you're all one and the same. The minute I patch you up, you can't wait to get out of here and put yourselves back in harms way all over again." He smiled, "The only person I can sometimes persuade to rest up is Rodney, but even he insists he has his laptop with him at all times."

I laughed again. "I guess we don't make things easy for you."

"I wouldn't want it any other way," he assured me. "Now," his tone grew more serious, "Have you experienced any problems since you left the hospital? Dizzy spells or headaches?"

I shook my head. "Nothing at all, in fact I feel really good," I said as I let him guide me towards a nearby chair.. "I still don't seem to remember anything about who I am though."

He reached for my arm to take my blood pressure as he talked. "There's been no memory recall at all?" he asked, "No flashes or feelings of de-ja-vu?"

I thought about the man I had sensed while in the sparring room with Ronon. "Well... there might have been _something,"_ I replied, "But it came about so fleetingly that I'm not sure if it was a memory or just a trick of my imagination. It did seem real at the time though…"

"Can you describe what you saw or felt for me?" He inflated the cuff around my arm.

"It happened last night while I was with Ronon in the gymnasium," I told him. "I got the strangest feeling – like for a moment I was in a completely different place. There was somebody there with me – a man – and he seemed to be coaching me on how to stick fight." I shrugged, "The feeling vanished as quickly as it came, and I haven't had anything like it since."

Carson nodded. "It does sound like a possible link to your past," he said as he removed the cuff from my arm and placed it away in a nearby drawer. "Try not to push yourself too hard to remember. Things will come back to you as you are ready. Your blood pressure is fine by the way, and from what you say there are no lingering side effects from your operation. I really can't find any reason to keep you in here any longer."

I smiled. "Then I'm free to go?"

"So long as you stop back each day for a check up, you certainly are," he smiled.

I stood up. "Great!"

"If you have any problems, or if you feel you need someone to talk to, then I am available any time though. Day or night."

"Thanks, I'll remember that." I smiled and turned to leave.

"Sara?"

"Yes?" I looked back at him.

"One more thing," he said. "Regarding your whereabouts during the night…" He paused, and I realized he was choosing his words. "Colonel Sheppard told those who were looking for you this morning that he found you asleep in the library. There was no mention made of Ronon."

"Oh," I stammered, my cheeks suddenly flushed with color, "I assumed…"

He shook his head and held up his hand to stop me from saying anything more. "Don't worry about it," he assured me. "I just thought you should know… so you don't contradict his story to anyone else." He smiled, "It wouldn't do to have you ruin the Colonel's reputation as an honest man."

I smiled and lowered my eyes. Although I was not ashamed I had spent the night with Ronon, I was pleased to learn that thanks to the Colonel's discretion it would not be common knowledge around Atlantis. I met Carson's eyes. "No," I agreed, "That wouldn't do at all."

He lifted his hand in casual dismissal, and I ducked out of the hospital ward before my embarrassment got the better of me. Talk about putting my foot in my mouth! I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't see anyone else into the corridor until I almost with Teyla. "Oops, sorry," I said as I grabbed her shoulders to steady myself.

"Oh," she exclaimed as she sidestepped me. "Sara. I was just on my way to find you."

"You were?" I stared at her in surprise. "Why? Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," she assured me. "It would seem that Colonel Sheppard and Ronon have agreed to spend the morning at the firing range. As you were due for discharge today, I thought you might be lost for something to do?"

Other than my immediate desire to leave the hospital, I really had no other plans and I realized she was right. "Kind of," I admitted.

"Good. Then how about you and I go for a bite to eat together?"

At the mention of food, I realized how hungry I was. Eating had certainly not been foremost on my mind last night – nor this morning, I thought with a smile – and consequently I had not consumed anything since lunch time the day before. "Something to eat would be great," I said to Teyla. "Thanks for asking."

She started to walk and I fell into step beside her. Although she was a good few inches shorter than I, she set a brisk pace and it wasn't long until we reached the cafeteria. Because it was already so late in the morning the place was all but deserted by the time we entered. We filled out plates and then took a seat together at a nearby table. Teyla had visited me a couple of times during my stay in hospital so we lapsed into conversation with relative ease. She spoke about Atlantis and everyone there with such high regard that I realized once again how lucky I was to find myself here. When I told her so, she just smiled at me.

"Now that you have recovered from your operation, I am sure that Dr. Weir and Colonel Sheppard will do everything possible to locate your people," she said.

Colonel Sheppard was a person with whom I had very little to do since coming to Atlantis. He was always friendly on the occasions we spoke, but I felt I knew little about him as a person. I did notice that he and Ronon appeared to have taken to each other though, so I was curious to find out more about him. "Tell me about the Colonel," I said to Teyla. "It seems it was his decision that bought Ronon and I to Atlantis."

She lifted her eyes from her plate. "Colonel Sheppard is a fair man and a very good leader," she replied after a brief moment. "He might not always work by the book, but I trust his decisions well enough to put my life in his hands if necessary."

I raised my eyebrows. "Wow, I said," That's a high recommendation."

She smiled, "I give credit where I feel it is due."

I looked at her closely. There was something in her eyes that told me she was holding back from me. She spoke with clarity and confidence, so I did not doubt that the Colonel was indeed worthy of her praise, it just felt like her words were deliberately… _impersonal._ After her earlier comments about others at Atlantis it was a stark contrast to hear her become so detached all of a sudden. It occurred to me that her objectivity might be a front for deeper feelings that she carried for him. I decided to test my theory a little to see if my hunch was right. "So, is he single? Married? Children?" I tried to keep my tone light, "Pets?"

She laughed. "Good heavens, no," she said. "The Colonel is much too busy to indulge in anything of the kind. His only relationship is with his job at Atlantis. I don't see that changing anytime soon."

I nodded my head. "I see," I said. Her reply was too thought out, too complete, for me to doubt that she had definitely given the possibility of a relationship with this man some thought. How long had she felt this way for, I wondered? Conscious that it was probably none of my business I let the subject drop. "Do you know if Atlantis has a botany lab?" I asked.

She smiled. Was it my imagination, or was she relieved by the change in subject? "There certainly is," she told me. "I would be happy to take you there - if you have finished eating?"

I nodded and pushed my empty plate aside. "Thanks," I said. "I'm not sure I'm ever going to learn my way around the city."

"I had similar difficulties when I first got here also," Teyla assured me. "It will become easier with time." She turned and began to walk, and I ducked around the table to follow her. We took a number of corridors and bends until I found myself standing in a large room filled with plants and greenery. A lone woman bent over a microscope near the center of the room and she looked up as we entered. "Katie," this is Sara," Teyla said to her, "Sara is new to Atlantis and would like to take a look around. I trust this will be suitable with you?"

"Hi Sara," Katie smiled at me. "I'm a little busy at the moment, but feel free to take a look. I'll have some spare time later if there is anything you need to ask."

"That's fine," I replied, "I don't want to distract you from your work. I promise not to touch anything while I look." She turned back to her microscope and Teyla bid me farewell so that I found myself alone again. I gravitated towards a wall that was lined with charts and plant samples. Some of the plants I recognized, but there were many more that I had never heard of before. Suddenly it seemed as if my knowledge of botany was rather limited. I spent a few minutes staring at the wall and then wandered over to a table that was filled with succulents and cacti. I stroked the spiny leaves of an aloe plant and then noticed a bucket of sand on the floor at my feet. I stared at it for a moment and then crouched down and ran a little of it through my fingertips_. Sand._ I dipped my fingers into the bucket again as something played around in the back of my mind. There was something about sand…

"Sara?"

I got such a fright that I stood up and narrowly avoided hitting my head on the table above. I looked around to find Rodney behind me.

"Sorry," he said as I clutched the table top to steady myself. "I didn't mean to startle you. What brings you all the way down to the plant room?"

"Um, I seem to have some knowledge of plants and their medicinal uses," I explained. "I thought there might be something down here to help trigger my memory."

"Botany, huh?" he said, "I didn't realized you had an interest in the sciences."

I shook my head, "It seems my knowledge is minimal," I admitted. "Most of the things here are far more advanced than anything I've ever come across." Still caught on the odd feeling the sand had stirred within me, I decided to try another idea. "You wouldn't have a map of the Pegasus galaxy that I could take a look at by any chance?"

He looked at me with interest. "I most certainly do," he said, and it was then that I noticed the laptop he carried under his arm. He produced it with a flourish, and I couldn't help but smile as he rested it on a table and switched it on. Sometime in the last few minutes Katie seemed to have disappeared and Rodney and I were now alone in the lab.

"What type of map do you want?" he asked me as we waited for the computer to load.

I shrugged. There were types? "Um, just something that shows the planets and their locations, I guess," I told him.

"Coming right up." He waggled his fingers above the keyboard in eagerness and then hit a couple of keys that bought up a graphic of the solar system. "Is there anything you want to look at in particular?" he asked, "Because I can zero in on a plant or location and bring it up larger if you like." He moved the curser and a planet popped up on the screen in front of me.

I shook my head. "I just want to look at the galaxy in general," I told him. He returned the screen to the original graphic and stood back with his arms folded while I peered closer. I looked at the hundreds of tiny dots that indicated planets. Which – if any – of them was my home world? I stared at the screen as I willed myself to remember. When nothing came to me, I closed my eyes and repeated the process. Still nothing came to me. For all I knew I could be staring at entirely the wrong galaxy. I shook my head. It must have suddenly dawned on Rodney what I was doing, because he took a step closer. "Nothing looks familiar to you at all?" he asked.

I shook my head again. "Not a thing," I sighed.

He pursed his lips together. "I can bring up a different map," he offered again, "That might help?"

"I don't think so," I said. "It'll be like looking for a needle in a haystack." I sighed. "I feel so stupid," I admitted, "Like somehow I'm letting all of you down; after everything you've done to try and help me."

He gave me a somber look. "Actually," he rung his hands together, "That's sort of how we feel." He unclasped his hands and rolled his fingers in a circular motion, "…only it's the other way around."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I was sure the operation would have restored your memory by now," he replied. "So was Dr Beckett."

"Oh," I said, "I didn't realize."

"Well, he tends to hide his frustration about it better than I do." He shrugged his hands, "Myself, I like to pick at something until I find a solution."

I nodded. "Well, thanks for all of your effort," I said. "I'm sorry nothing is paying off." We looked at each other for a moment, and he reached out and closed the laptop.

"What you need is something to take your mind of all of this completely," He gave me a confident smile. "Lucky for you, I know of just the thing."

I frowned, not sure of what he had in mind. "And what might that be?" I asked.

He gave me a smug smile. "Follow me and I'll show you." He picked up his laptop and left the room. I did not see I had much other choice but to follow him, so I jogged a couple of steps to catch up. It wasn't like I had anything else to do with the day anyway. He led me back through the series of corridors until we came to a small unoccupied room. "Take a seat," he gestured towards a small table and chairs off that were pushed up against a nearby wall. I sat down and he opened a nearby cupboard to produce a small box and what looked like a board of some kind. He approached the table and placed the items on top of it as he sat down opposite me. "Chess," he explained as he opened the box to reveal a number of intricate looking pieces. "It's the ultimate game of strategy; and is therefore exactly what you need to take your mind off everything else." He opened the board and began to set up the pieces in front of me on the checkered board; white pieces at my end and black at his. He looked so pleased with himself that I was reluctant to let him down.

"Uh… I've never played before," I told him. "You'll have to show me how."

"No problem," he gave me a confident smile. "I used to play Chess a lot back when I was at university," he said, and then as if it occurred to him that playing board games did not sound like a very hip past time, he added, "Along with drinking and dating that is."

I smiled. "Of course." It struck me as I watched him that he probably had any number of things he should be doing around Atlantis. I did not want to be the one that kept him from them. "Are you sure you have the time for this?"

"It's my afternoon off," he explained with a smile. "Besides, if anyone needs me, they can always get me on the intercom," he tapped the small microphone behind his left ear.

"Oh, alright then," I felt a little better. "Thanks for doing this for me anyway."

He smiled and held up a small game piece between his fingers. "This," he said, "Is a pawn."

I listened intently while he went through each game piece and explained how they all moved. The object of the game appeared to be to capture his king, so I tried to focus on that as we began to play. The first game between us was fairly short, although my need to ask questions before almost every move certainly added to the time frame. We played another and then stopped for something to eat before playing again. Despite his obvious superiority Rodney was a patient coach, and by the time Colonel Shepherd and Ronon found us some hours later, I felt I at least had a basic grasp of the game and some of its intricacies.

"I was told you two were in here," Colonel Shepherd said as he approached. "I hope he's going easy on you Sara. If not, be sure to let me know and I'll take him down for you next time we play."

"Take me down?" Rodney looked suitably affronted. "I beat you almost any day of the week," he retorted.

I smiled. It was obvious he and the Colonel had an easy – if competitive – comradeship, and I guessed they had worked together for quite some time. Ronon stepped up beside me and looked at the game board on the table. "What are you playing?" he asked.

Despite the question being directed at me, it was Rodney who replied. "Chess," he said. "It's a game of strategy, designed to test the mind of one's opponent."

Ronon shrugged. "His mind, huh? I'd be more concerned about his arm." He rested his hand lightly upon his gun for emphasis.

Rodney shook his head. "You're missing the point," he said, "To win at chess requires a game plan of stealth and tactic." He tapped the side of his head to stress his point. "It's much more complex than simply blasting something to pieces."

Ronon smiled. "Not nearly as effective though."

Rodney rolled his eyes and I couldn't help but smile. It was difficult to imagine two men who were more opposites of each other. No wonder they had difficulty finding common ground. Before either of them could discuss the merits of their own particular strengths further, Colonel Sheppard spoke up.

"Doctor Weir has called a meeting," he said. "She wants the four of us and Teyla to meet with her in her in the main conference room tonight at 8pm."

"Rodney raised his eyebrows, "Ah, this is about…?" I thought I saw him incline his head towards Ronon and myself, but it was such a small gesture that I couldn't be sure.

"That's what we'll find out when we meet with her," the Colonel gave him a pointed look.

"Of course," Rodney looked suitably chastened. He sat back in his chair and remained silent until the Colonel and Ronon left. Once we were alone again we resumed play. Rodney eventually won the game as expected, but it was evident to both of us that I was beginning to improve a little. By now it was late in the day, and I helped Rodney pack away the pieces. We said good bye to each other at the door and I walked back to my room alone. It was still a couple of hours until the meeting with Doctor Weir, so I took the opportunity to stretch out on the bed and grab a quick nap. When I woke again, I had just enough time to comb my hair through and freshen up a little before I headed out to meet with the others. I was the last to arrive, and everyone was already seated around a large triangular table in the center of the room when I got there. Doctor Weir greeted me as I entered, and I took a seat next to Teyla. Across the table sat Ronon, Rodney and Colonel Sheppard. Although the meeting was clearly a formal affair, Ronon slouched sideways a little in his chair and his arm was cast casually across the table. He appeared relaxed, but I guessed he was as curious as I about the reason for us being here.

"Thank you all for meeting with me." Doctor Weir began. "Tonight we find ourselves in unfamiliar circumstances. As I am sure you are all aware, the security of the city is of utmost importance, so it is most unusual for us to invite strangers into our midst. Ronon, Sara," she stared at each of us in turn, "At Colonel Sheppard's recommendation, you were each bought to Atlantis as a place of refuge."

I got a sudden feeling of trepidation. Was this what the meeting was about? Were Ronon and I about to be asked to leave? I glanced across the table at Ronon, but his attention was on Dr Weir and if he felt me looking at him, he didn't meet my eyes.

"Over the past few days we have gotten to know you both a little better," Dr Weir continued, "And it's been bought to my attention that you have attributes that could benefit our mission here." She nodded at Colonel Sheppard, and he stood up to speak.

"I've seen enough to indicate that the both of you are trained in combat and weaponry to a level that succeeds most others. Sara, you also seem to have some knowledge of field surgery – as demonstrated by the operation you performed on Ronon."

I tried to hide my surprise. Field surgery? Was he serious? Had there been any other option – or if Ronon had been any less insistent – there was no way I would ever have attempted to remove his transmitter. "Um, I think you have things a little bit wrong," I said. "I'm certainly not trained in surgery of any kind, field or otherwise. Other than the one time you refer to, I've never done anything like that before; nor do I intend to again."

The Colonel met my eyes square on. "You say that now," he said, "But if the need was urgent I'm sure you'd reconsider."

I snorted. "Only if it was the last resort."

He smiled. "Which proves my point. What you did took nerve, not to mention skill and knowledge. To think anything less would be to sell yourself short."

I fell silent. I'd never really thought about it that way before. Did he have a point maybe? He took my silence for accord and turned to face Ronon. "My team and I appreciate the help you have given us so far – both here and off world. We could really use a guy like you on a regular basis." He glanced back towards Dr Weir, and she took over again.

"As neither of you have come forward with a place you wish to go, we would like to ask you both to consider staying on here at Atlantis on a permanent status. You would become members of Colonel Sheppard's team and accompany him, Dr McKay and Teyla on exploratory missions off world."

The room fell silent. Join with Atlantis? My mind began to race. What if I got my memory back? What if my own people still existed out there somewhere? I glanced at Ronon to try and gage his reaction, but his face was carefully neutral as he looked back at me. It seemed he appeared to be waiting for me to reply first. Flustered, I turned to Dr Weir. "Uh…That's a very generous offer," I said. "However, should my memory return, it is my intention to rejoin my home world – if this is at all possible. For this reason, I feel it would be unfair of me to accept your proposal." I took a deep breath and looked around at the faces of the people who had been so kind to me. It dawned on me that if they turned me out I would have nowhere else to go. I looked at Dr Weir. "Uh… as you have already pointed out, I have not told you of a place that I wish to go. This is because there is no such place. I am currently without home or people. I would appreciate it if you would let me stay on here in the mean time. I would be happy to perform any menial tasks around the city that you might require in exchange for my upkeep." I finished speaking and my heart pounded in my ears as Dr Weir and the Colonel exchanged looks. It was a moment before either of them spoke.

"We understand your position and we appreciate your honesty, Sara." Dr Weir said. "I'm sure we can find you something to do around the city until such a time as your memory returns. I will talk to Dr. Beckett and see if we can come to some kind of arrangement to provide you with work in exchange for you lodgings. Unfortunately, as a matter of security, the gate room and the area immediately surrounding it will now be off limits to you unless you are in the direct company of either myself, Dr. Weir or Dr. McKay."

I nodded. "I understand," I said. "I appreciate you letting me stay."

She nodded, and then turned to Ronon.

"Ronon?"

I looked across the table. All the while I had spoken, I was aware of his eyes upon me, yet now he appeared to want to look anywhere but. Deep in thought, he drummed his long fingers lightly against the wooden desk top. I watched until they became still and a moment later he looked up at Dr Weir. "I'll stay," he said.

My chest tightened. I don't know what I had expected him to say, but suddenly it felt like a chasm had opened up between us and we were left standing on opposite sides. I did not hear Dr Weir's reply, but when everyone broke into unexpected laughter I did my best to join them. What more could I do? At least I still had somewhere to stay; never mind that I was now distanced from the one person who I felt I had grown close to. The meeting was called to an end and everyone began to get to their feet. I pushed my chair back neatly under the table and when I looked up I suddenly caught Ronon's gaze from across the room. Too many people were between for us to draw near, but the corners of his mouth turned upwards in a brief smile as he held my eyes. I returned the gesture and decided to cross the room to talk to him. I took a couple of steps and then Rodney suddenly appeared beside me.

"Well," he said, "It looks like we have time to make chess pro out of you yet."

I smiled at him. "I don't really think the time frame has anything to do with it," I told him. "No matter how long I play for, I'm sure I'll never amount to much more than an accomplished amateur."

"_Ah ha,_" he said, "You forget that you have a master coach."

I raised my eyebrows and laughed. "Of course."

We laughed together for a moment, and then when neither of us could think of something more to say we lapsed into an awkward silence.

Rodney cleared his throat. "Well… uh, I'm glad you're staying Sara," he said. "I'll probably see you around."

I nodded. "I hope so," I replied as I watched him quickly walk away. Across the room Ronon was now in conversation with Colonel Sheppard so I stood by myself for a moment until Dr Weir approached.

"I'll talk to Dr Beckett for you before I go to bed tonight," she said. "He's always saying he could use another pair of hands so I'm sure he'll be grateful for any help I send his way."

"That would be great, thanks," I replied. I liked Carson and it was no hardship to learn I would possibly be working for him.

"And just so you know, we haven't given up on finding your people," she continued. "Each time Colonel Sheppard goes off world, I have instructed him to make discrete inquiries on your behalf."

"I appreciate the trouble you have gone to," I told her. "I don't know what I would have done without the help you have all given me."

"It is our pleasure," she replied. "Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll go and find Dr Beckett."

She said good bye, and I suddenly noticed that we were the last two people in the room. Some time during our conversation everyone seemed to have exited, Ronon and the Colonel included. I followed Dr Weir outside and found the corridor was also empty. I was disappointed – and if truthful, a little hurt – that Ronon had left without speaking to me, but I tried not to let myself dwell upon it. Instead I decided to return to my room. It was silent when I entered and I quickly switched on the bedside lamp to chase away the shadows. I sank down onto the edge of the bed and tugged off my boots. Now that I was alone it was difficult to keep from mulling over my newly adopted status at Atlantis. What was I exactly? I certainly did not _belong _here, but then again I didn't quite _not_ belong either… I removed my clothes and pulled back the blankets so I could get into bed. The problem was that although it was late, I didn't feel tired at all. I lay upon my back and stared at the ceiling. I should be happy that I now had a safe place to stay until I recovered my memory, but instead I felt strangely melancholy. How much longer was I going to exist like this; feeling like I was forever on the outskirts of those around me? I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I had spent many nights alone while being hunted by the wraith, but so far this night was shaping up to be the loneliest to date.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Thank you to insanekittie19, Zannna, Crye 4 Me and Raieghn for reviewing my last chapter! I would have given this story up by now if not for you all. M rating applies to part of this chapter.

**Sara POV**

_I struggled against my bonds. In my weakened state there was little chance I could free myself. How long had I been imprisoned for? I wasn't sure any more - I only knew that the time could be measured in days rather than in hours. Footsteps rang in my ears – they were coming for me again. I was exhausted; dizzy from a lack of food and water. I knew I could not continue this way for much longer. The only escape for me now would be via my own death - and I welcomed the thought. Two faceless wraith drones came into view, followed by a third. I braced myself. This last one I knew well._

"_Sara," he drawled, his hollow tone distorting my name so that I barely recognized it as my own._

_I straightened up and faced him with as much contempt as I could muster. Tall and pale with a long dark strip that started in the middle of his forehead and ran down to the tip of his nose; he truly was one of the most unsightly of his kind. I grit my teeth as he tugged me free from my confines. Despite my failing strength, I would die before I fell to my knees before him. It struck me that it might very well come to that, and a strange, high pitched laugh escaped from my lips. I realized how close I was to losing my sanity, and I did my best to refocus my thoughts._

"_Move," Stripe nudged me in the back with his stick._

_I lurched into a walk. One way or another, this would all be over for me soon. By now I knew the path that would take me to the wraith queen, but this time, when I went to make the final turn, Stripe barred my way with his stick._

"_Not that way," he told me, "We have something different planned for you today." He directed me in the opposite direction._

_My heart began to pound. Different? I was prepared for interrogation, or for countless attempts to be fed off again; I was not prepared for 'different'. I flinched as Stripe's stick dug into my back and he steered me deeper into the hive. Our designation turned out to be a small room. In the center was a table, and behind it stood two more drones and the queen herself._

"_Greetings," she smiled at me. _

_This was not our first encounter. "Go to hell," I told her. _

_She shook her head. "Such resistance…It will bring me great satisfaction to see you betray those that you hold dear."_

_I glared at her. No matter what she might throw at me, there was no way I would tell her the location of my home world. "I'll never tell you anything," I spat._

"_Never? Now that is an interesting word you have chosen. Are you aware of quite how long 'never' is, Sara?"_

"_Never will be for as long as I live," I told her with pride._

_She smiled, "Exactly. And going by the look of you, I'd say your 'never' could extend as long as another fifty years, give or take."_

_I had no idea where the conversation was going, and I could feel the last of my strength begin to waiver. I remained silent, not content to buy into whatever game she felt she was playing._

"_Today, I am going to put your word to the test," she continued. "As much pleasure as it would give me to simply kill you myself and dispose of you once and for all, I have a better idea." She paused, and when I didn't react, she went on. "Instead of killing you, I am going to let you go."_

_I kept my face carefully impassive, but inside my mind began to turn over. What was the catch? My resolve to die began to falter as a spark of hope surged through my veins. With my mind newly alert, I waited for her to go on._

_She gave a signal, and a drone approached me from each side.. They grabbed one of my arms each and began to propel me towards the table in the center of the room. Instinctively I knew that whatever they had in mind would not be for my benefit, and I began to struggle. _

_The queen smiled. "I am going to implant you with a tracking device," she informed me. "This will enable us to follow you anywhere in the galaxy."_

_I turned my head as Stripe produced a needle, the base of which was attached to a syringe. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead and I shook my head in denial. "No…"_

"_I am not going to lie to you, Sara. This _will_ hurt a little," the queen continued, "But it should not impair you in any way. Once the device has solidified, you will be able to function as normal."_

_Despite my struggles, the table loomed closer._

"_Now it remains to be seen if you are as true to your word as you say," the queen said. "To protect your people, all you need do is stay away from them… forever."_

_I stared at her in shock. "There's no way this is going to work," I told her. "I'll kill myself before I lead you to my people."_

_She smiled. "You see, that is where I think you are wrong, Sara. I have studied you. I know how you work. You try to disguise your will to survive, but I see you for what you are. You will not take your own life, nor will you surrender to that of another. You will run and you will hide, but eventually your desire to see your people will lead you back to them; it is inevitable."_

"_You're wrong!" I told her, "I'll find a way… I'll find a _safe_ way…_

_She laughed, and I realized too late that I had just proved her point. "Place her on the table," she instructed the drones._

_My fear spurred me to action and I fought and kicked with strength I was not aware I still had. It made no difference. They stretched me out, face down across the table and held me in position. I turned my head and saw Stripe squeeze a small drop of liquid from the tip of the syringe in preparation. One of the drones pushed the hair at the base of my neck aside, and I suddenly realized exactly where the transmitter was going to be inserted. I opened my mouth and began to scream…_

I leapt out of bed as terror swept through me. My hands clawed at my hair and I stamped my bare feet on the floor as I shook my head violently back and forth. It took a long moment for the warm glow of the bedside lamp to penetrate my panic enough for me to realize where I was. Gradually, I calmed and became still. I was not on a wraith hive ship; I was in my room at Atlantis. The relief made my legs go weak and I sank back onto the edge of the mattress. I pictured the hive, the wraith, the syringe. It all felt so _real… _I buried my face in my hands as realization hit. That was because it _was _real. The nightmare was not a figment of my imagination; it was a memory of a real life experience. My stomach heaved and I clutched the edge of the mattress to steady myself. I would _not_ be sick. I slowly counted to ten until the nausea passed and I could relax again. The alarm clock beside the bed told me it was just after 6am; too early to get up, but I knew I could not face going back to bed again either. I sat there, immobile. It wasn't until the sweat began to cool on my skin that I glanced at the clock and realized that almost ten minutes had passed. I got to my feet and pulled on my clothes. Now that my daze had passed, I felt the urge to be in motion. I didn't know where I planned to go; all I knew was that I needed to get out of the room. I swiped the door panel and stepped out into the corridor.

"Good morning, Sara."

I jumped as Carson approached me. He was dressed in his white coat and had a stethoscope around his neck. I guessed he was on his way to start his morning rounds at the hospital. Something in my expression must have concerned him because he stopped and looked at me more closely. "Is everything alright?"

I nodded, "Yes, everything's fine…" My voice broke. "I'm…"

He came closer, concern on his face. "Do you want to go back inside?" he gestured towards my room.

I shook my head. "No."

"Okay then," he reached out and rested his hand lightly on my shoulder. "I think it might be best if you come with me." I let him guide me along the corridors towards his office. Because it was still so early, we did not meet anyone on the way but I was still relieved when he closed the door behind us and we were alone. "Sit down," he said as he indicated towards a chair. "Now tell me, what's wrong?"

I shook my head, unable to meet his eyes. The visions from my dream were still so vivid that I couldn't bring myself to talk about them. "I'm sorry," I said as tears prickled the back of my eyes. I hid my face in my hands. "I can't believe I'm behaving like this. I feel so stupid."

"Has something happened to you?" He perched on the edge of his desk and leaned towards me. I felt his eyes sweep over me as he looked for signs of physical distress.

I shook my head. "No," I said, and then thought better of it, "Yes. I had a nightmare," I told him, "Only it wasn't a nightmare at all, it was something that actually happened."

"Your memory is returning?" His eyebrows raised in interest.

"Some of it," I told him.

"Can you tell me what it was that you remembered?"

"The wraith…" I began, and then I shook my head, "I really don't want to talk about it," I told him.

"I understand," he told me. "You just stay there for a moment." He got up, "I'd like to run a couple of routine checks, if you don't mind."

I nodded, and he placed a blanket around my shoulders and left the office. A short time later he returned. "Now, just sit there nice and still," he said, "This will only take a couple of minutes." He shone a bright light into my eyes and then took my pulse and blood pressure readings.

"Your vitals are a little elevated," he told me as he put down his stethoscope, "It's nothing much to worry about at this point, they should return to normal again soon." He opened a cabinet on the wall and pulled out a bottle of pills. "I'm going to give you these," he said as he handed them to me. "Take one when you return to your room, and then another before you go to bed tonight."

"What are they?" I asked.

"Diazepam," he explained. "They will help you to relax a little."

"Will they put me to sleep?"

"Not in such a low dose," he replied. "Why? Do you feel like you need to rest?"

I shook my head. Definitely not. "No," I told him, "I want to stay awake."

His eyes clouded with concern. "A good sleep would probably do you the world of good," he told me.

"I know. I just don't feel tired right now," I lied. "Is there anything you can give me that's a little stronger?"

"There is…" he said, "But I don't want to resort to that unless I have to. How about we wait for a couple of days first and see what happens?"

I nodded and closed my hand around the jar of pills. "Okay," I agreed reluctantly. "Can I go now?"

"If you're sure you feel up to it. I'd be happy to check you into the ward for the morning if you like?"

"I'll be fine," I told him, and got to my feet.

"If you change your mind and decide you need to talk about it, you know where to find me," Carson said.

"I do," I said, and then I stopped as I suddenly remembered something from last night's meeting. "Oh," I said, "I'm supposed to be helping you out today, aren't I?"

He smiled. "How about we start you from tomorrow instead?"

I nodded. "I'd like that."

He opened the door for me and I said goodbye as I left his office. The remainder of the morning I spent alone in my room. The pills did seem to calm me a little and after a couple of hours spent reading, I decided to leave my refuge and get something to eat.

The cafeteria was packed when I entered, and I quickly took a sandwich and a glass of water to one of the few vacant tables remaining. There was nobody close by who I recognized, and I nibbled carefully on my sandwich as the conversation from two women sitting in front of me filtered to my ears.

"…_and dangerous," _the nearest of the two said_. "I wouldn't mind getting him between the sheets. Can you imagine?"_

Her friend laughed. _"I sure can. In fact, if you don't hurry up and make your move, I might have a go at him myself."_

"_Cheryl!__ What about Steven?"_

"_Steven's old news"_ Cheryl waved her hand in dismissal_. "Besides, I'm sure he wouldn't compare to that gorgeous hunk of man flesh."_

They broke into fits of laughter, and I looked away. It wasn't my intention to listen, but they were sitting so close to me that it was unavoidable.

"_Don't look now__,"_ the other women continued, _"But guess who just walked in?"_

"_You're not serious?"_ Cheryl looked over her shoulder. _"Oh my god," _she dropped her voice, _"It's him!"_

I followed her line of sight and for a moment I forgot about everything as I noticed Ronon had entered the cafeteria. I stared at the cutting figure he made. He stood almost a head taller than most of the other men around him, and with his lithe frame, bare arms and long dreadlocks, he certainly drew the eye. The women in front of me made noises of appreciation, and it suddenly dawned on me that it was Ronon who I had overheard them talking about. The bite I was chewing lodged in my throat and I reached for my glass of water to try and rinse it down.

"_Will you look at those arms,"_ Cheryl hissed.

"_I would; only__ I can't drag my eyes away from his ass!" _her companion replied, and they both dissolved into fits of giggles once again.

By this time Ronon had filled his tray, and I watched as he turned around to look for somewhere to sit. There was still one or two tables vacant and he made his way towards the closest one when suddenly he saw me. Abruptly, he changed direction and headed over.

"_He's coming th__is way,"_ Cheryl whispered to her companion. They were both too busy staring at Ronon to notice me observing them. Cheryl was a short, slim woman with an attractive face. Her friend looked to be a little taller and she had thick red hair that hung to her waist. Neither of them looked like they would be short of male attention, and I experienced a feeling of helplessness as they turned their sights on Ronon. The red head turned around in her seat as he got closer. _"Hi there,"_ she said, _"It's a little crowded in here today." _She indicated the empty chair beside her, _"If you need somewhere to sit, you're welcome to join us."_

Ronon stopped and looked at the women. "Ladies," he inclined his head. "Thanks for the offer, but I was looking to join my friend." He gestured towards me and I wasn't sure whether to be elated that he'd turned them down, or disappointed that he'd referred to me as a friend. Both of the women turned to size me up, and Ronon added, "Maybe another time." This seemed to appease them somewhat and they let him past to join me.

"Hey," he said as he placed his tray down and pulled out a chair. "Thought you were with Carson?"

His question instantly made me forget about the two women. I pushed the remainder of my sandwich around my plate as I felt my apprehension return. Here was the one person who might understand a little of what I had experienced, but I didn't feel like I could talk to him. Last night he had chosen to join Atlantis and move forward. If I confided my memories about the wraith to him it would only remind him of his past. I did not feel it would be fair of me to drag him back there so soon. "Uh… Carson doesn't need me until tomorrow," I lied.

He stabbed a thick slab of ham with his fork and bought it to his mouth. "That so?"

"I guess he's not as busy as Dr Weir thought," I replied. I bought up the first thing I could think of to change the subject. "So, what does the Colonel have you doing today?" I asked.

He finished chewing and then took another mouthful. "Just been down at the gym with him," he said. "He wants me to go to the mainland with him this afternoon."

"Sounds interesting," I replied.

He looked at me across the table. "Maybe."

We lapsed into silence for a moment and I finished my sandwich. I felt comfortable enough not to feel the need to make idle chat, and for a moment I sat back and looked around the room. Ronon glanced across at my empty plate, and then to my surprise he transferred a potato from his own plate over to it.

"You need to eat more," he said.

I raised my eyebrows, but his voice held no trace of criticism. If anything, he sounded concerned. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was way too emotional today. "I can't," I told him, "I don't have a fork."

Without a word, he passed me his own and then picked up a carrot from his plate with his fingers. I stared at my plate and concentrated on breaking the potato into smaller pieces. If he saw me getting all teary eyed, it would only lead to questions that I didn't want to answer so I needed to be sure I was in control of myself before I looked up again. When I finally did, I realized that I need not have worried; he was too engrossed with eating to notice the impact his gesture had on me. Although I was no longer hungry, I forced myself to eat the potato for his benefit. By the time I had finished, his plate was also clean.

"Well," he pushed himself away from the table, "Time I was going."

I nodded. "Me too," I lied. The truth was I had no other place I needed to be. I could sit right here for the rest of the day and nobody would be any the wiser.

He grinned and stood up. "Enjoy your day off."

I felt a stab of guilt over the lie I had told, but it was too late to correct him now. "I will," I told him, and watched as he walked away. I was thankful that Cheryl and her friend had also left and I was spared from listening to their commentary again. When I was sure that Ronon was gone, I got up and headed back to my room. Despite the solitude, I was glad Carson had insisted I take the day off. At least in the privacy of my room I did not have to constantly pretend that everything was alright. I sagged onto the settee in the corner and stared up at the ceiling. My stomach was full and I felt tired, but I did not dare to let myself fall asleep. Who knew what kind of other memories might return if I did?

The rest of the day ticked by and I filled in the time with a combination of taking a shower, reading and further staring at the ceiling. By the time I realized I was hungry again, it was well past meal time. I had existed on so little for so long that it was difficult to get back into a regular eating pattern. Ronon was right, I realized, I did need to eat more. I got up and walked over to the sink bench. I knew I couldn't hope to stay awake forever. Sooner or later I would fall asleep, whether I wanted to or not. I pulled out the bottle of pills that Carson had given me. If I went straight into a deep sleep, there was a strong possibility that I would not dream at all. How many pills would it take to put me out, I wondered? I opened the container and tipped three of them into my hand. I was contemplating joining them with a forth when I heard a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock. It was almost 10pm, who would be visiting this late at night? I wondered if Carson had come to check up on me, and I hastily put the pills back into the container before I opened the door. To my surprise it was not Carson, but Ronon who stood outside. His long arms were braced against each side of the door frame and his head was bowed so that he did not meet my eyes immediately. I watched him straighten up and lower his arms to his sides.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Um…Sure," I stepped aside and waved him in with my hand.

He walked past me into the middle of the room. "Hear you had a rough night," he said as he turned to look at me

"Ah… Yeah," I agreed. "Who told you?"

He ignored my question. "Why didn't you say anything to me about it earlier?"

I bristled at his tone. "Because I didn't want to talk about it," I told him.

He narrowed his eyes and stared at me. It suddenly occurred to me that his expression was not one of anger so much as disappointment. Immediately I regretted the way I had spoken to him. "I'm sorry," I said, "I'm a little on edge at the moment."

"So I see," he replied.

"So, what exactly did you hear?" I asked.

"Only that you remembered something about your past concerning the wraith - and whatever it was, it scared the living daylights out of you."

It suddenly dawned on me where his information had come from. "It was Carson who told you, wasn't it?" I frowned, "He really had no right to talk to you about me."

He rested his hand upon his hip. "Don't blame the guy," he said. "He asked me if I'd seen you today, and he seemed worried about your for some reason. I persuaded him to tell me why."

"By _persuaded,_ you mean you threatened him?"

He shrugged. "Maybe a little," he admitted. "Anyway, I guess he thought I might be able to help – given the nature of what you remembered." He looked at me for a moment and then added, "By the way, it seems he somehow knows we spent the other night together."

I looked away. "Uh, I might know something about that," I admitted. He raised his eyebrows and I felt my cheeks stain with color. "It was a mistake," I explained. "I though he already knew."

He chuckled. "I really don't give a damn if you told the whole of Atlantis," he assured me.

I smiled as I felt myself soften towards him a little. "Would you like a coffee?" I asked.

"Black, no sugar," he replied.

I watched him walk over to the settee and stretch his legs out in front of him as he made himself comfortable. How long would he stay for? I thought longingly of the pills in my back pocket. If I took a couple now, I could always take a couple more when he left. I turned sideways and snuck the container out into the palm of my hand. "Who went with you to the mainland this afternoon?" I asked as I removed two cups from the cupboard and placed them on the bench.

"Sheppard and Lorne," he replied, and then he laughed. "Did you know; Lorne has a thing for painting? Reckons he's going back to the mainland again tomorrow with his supplies."

"Really?" I feigned interest. "I'd like to see some of his work." I turned my back to him and tipped two small white pills out into my hand. Would two be enough, or should I take three now and then one more later? I was so busy contemplating that I didn't hear Ronon approach. I only realized he was beside me when I felt his hand circle around my wrist.

"What have you got there?" He asked.

I curled my fingers closed around the pills. "Nothing," I replied as I hid my other hand – the one that held the container – behind my back.

"Then why the secrecy?" he asked.

I sighed. He obviously wasn't going to let it rest. I opened my hand and the pills stared up at us both. "Carson gave them to me," I said, "They're to help me relax."

"Uh huh," he gave me a level look.

"I don't know what else to do," I admitted. "I'm afraid to go to sleep. I'm scared that if I do, I'll remember something more; something that's worse again."

He raised an eyebrow. "So you're gonna drug yourself into a stupor so you don't have to worry about it?"

I nodded, "Pretty much."

He shook his head and held his other hand out to ask for the container. I placed it in his palm and watched with a heavy heart as he tipped the pills back inside and screwed the cap shut. The jug came to the boil and he poured water into the two cups I had set out. The aroma of coffee filled the room. "Come on," he said as he handed me a cup and guided me back across the room. He sat down on one side of the settee and gestured for me to join him on the other.

I hesitated, and then took a seat on the coffee table in front of him instead. Irrational as it was, it still stung that he was joined with Atlantis, while I was adrift on my own.

"You know," he said, "I stopped by your room last night."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "After the meeting?" I asked.

"Uh huh," he nodded. "I wasn't sure if you wanted company though, so I decided not to knock."

"Oh," I remembered how alone I had felt, and I kicked myself to hear he had been outside. "I wish I'd known," I told him.

He nodded and leaned forward to place his cup beside me on the table. Our knees brushed together, and he removed my own cup from my hands and placed it next to his. His fingers closed around mine as he spoke. "You know," he said, "Whatever it is that you remembered, I'd be happy to listen if you decide you want to talk about it."

I looked at him. "I know," I said, "But it's not your problem. I'm the one who's messed up; it should be me who figures out how to deal with it."

He held my eyes. "How 'bout you let me be the judge of that."

The warmth of his hand penetrated my skin, and I felt my resolve begin to waiver. This thing between us - whatever it was, the pull of it was getting stronger. I needed to guard myself before I got in any deeper. "Ronon," I asked, "Why are you here?

His grip on my hand loosened, and he leaned back a little. He looked surprised. "Do you want me to leave?"

I shook my head. "No, that's not what I meant," I told him. "It's just that… Surely you have better things to do with your evening than to listen to my problems."

He raised his eyebrows and a small furrow appeared in his forehead. "Actually, I don't," he told me. "And as for why I'm here, I thought that was kind'a obvious."

I shook my head. Nothing was obvious - or simple - between us anymore. I felt the pad of his thumb brush across the back of my hand and when I looked up his eyes suddenly dropped from mine and rested upon my lips. I ran my tongue across them in reflex, and a moment later he leaned closer and I felt the feather light brush of his mouth against mine. He paused, and after a moment he drew back a fraction so that his lips hovered above mine in silent question. The gesture was so intimate that my breath caught in my throat. I had to admit that if he had come here to seduce me, then he was doing a damned fine job of it. The problem was his words, his eyes, his lips; they all indicated something else, another reason for why he was here. My heart skipped a beat. I wanted to believe what I felt, but I needed to know; had he given even a passing thought to the consequences of becoming involved with someone who had no memory of who she was? I drew back a fraction and he straightened his head to look at me. "What if…there turns out to be someone else?" I asked. "Someone who I – the word _love_ got stuck in my throat – someone who I care about, only I can't remember them? Have you ever considered that possibility?"

He held my gaze. "I think about it every day," he said softly.

I stared at him. His words were so simple, yet they said so much. My heart ached. There was something I needed to tell him – something that I had become increasingly aware of and yet had been too afraid to admit to him until now. I wasn't sure how to start, so I began with the easy part. "For so long I've hoped I would find my people again," I told him. "During the time when the wraith made the days – and the nights – too lonely to bear, I clung to the hope that one day this would all be over and I would be able to return home. I even hoped there might be someone who cared enough for me to scour the galaxy in search of me – or at the very least someone to wait for my safe return." I paused; the next part was what I really wanted to tell him. "Now I seem to be making a new life for myself," I told him, "And I'm afraid. There are parts of this life that I like too much; I don't want to give them up if it turns out they don't fit with who I was before all of this happened…" I trailed off as I looked at him. He was the part of this new life that I didn't want to give up. "I care too much to walk away from them."

He bowed his head. Briefly I thought he might not have understood what I was trying to say, but after a moment he looked up and met my eyes again. "Have you ever thought that's where you're going wrong," he said. "Instead of thinking so far ahead, why not take things a day at a time?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. Could it be so simple?

"If what you're doing feels right, then go with it," he said. "Don't try and second guess yourself at every turn."

I sighed; what he said certainly sounded a lot less complicated than constantly looking to either the past or the future. I opened my eyes and looked at him. What I wanted right now was to have him kiss me again, but he made no move to do so. Instead, he appeared to be waiting for some kind of initiation from me. I reached out and brushed the backs of my fingers across his jaw. His skin was rough with a day's growth of stubble and I followed the direction of it down to the longer hair on his chin. His goatee framed his lips and I moistened my own with my tongue as I leaned in to kiss him. I expected the kiss to be slow and seductive, like our earlier one, but the moment our lips touched something flared to life between us. Suddenly I found myself kissing his open mouth and he reached behind my head to pull me more firmly towards him. His tongue slid against mine and I shifted to the edge of the coffee table and reached out to rest my hands on top of his shoulders. He moaned – a low sound deep in his throat – and my body flushed with heat in response. I slipped my hands from his shoulders to his chest and then further down to grab the hem of his top and lift it upwards. He broke the kiss for just long enough for me to tug the garment over his head and discard it on the floor. We stood up together, his body taut and firm against mine as I leaned into him. I splayed my palms against his chest and stroked the small amount of dark hair there with my fingers as he kissed me again. His groin was hard and hot against my own, but his lips were soft and I yielded to him as he guided me out from between the table and settee towards the bed. Too late I realized I had not pulled the covers up since the nap I took that afternoon, but he did not seem to notice as he pushed me down onto the mattress beneath him. I wore no bra – what was the point when after my shower all I planned to do was to sit around until bed time – so when he removed my T-shirt, my breasts were fully exposed. The cool mattress against my back made me shiver, but when he leaned over me the heat from his body engulfed me so that I had no memory of ever being cold. His hand cupped my jaw and he kissed me again. I was acutely aware as his hand shifted from my face and travelled down my body to cup my left breast. Both of my nipples were already rigid peaks and they begged for his attention. When he passed the pad of his thumb over each of them in turn, I thought I might die of pleasure then and there. He leaned back and looked at me.

"You like that," he murmured, his voice low and seductive.

I nodded. "Hmm mm."

He pulled away for long enough to drag my sweat pants and underwear down off my hips. Now that I was fully naked, he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at me. I held his eyes as his hand grazed my breast again and then trailed down my body to circle my navel.

"You're beautiful," he growled, his eyes dark with desire.

I looked at him; all long hair, green eyes and suntanned skin beside me. It was debatable who of us was the more beautiful, but I accepted the compliment. I wanted him to kiss me again, but his eyes were doing such delicious things to my insides that I was reluctant to pull him toward me. His hand moved lower across my stomach and he dipped his head to flick his tongue over my nearest nipple. Every moist stroke sent a current of desire straight to my core and I closed my eyes and moaned in pleasure. I felt his hand gently nudge my legs apart and I raked my nails lightly against his chest in encouragement. I was slick with arousal and his finger glided over my swollen sex with a feather light touch. I longed to reach for him with my hands; to release the hard length of him from his confines and hold him in my palm, but the sensations his fingers were creating inside me were so incredible that I couldn't bear to move for fear he might stop. He circled my wet nub with his fingertips and I bit my lip to keep from moaning aloud. I was so aroused that when he eased a finger inside me, it slid right the way in without pause. He withdrew it and then joined it with a second. This time when he penetrated me, his thumb grazed against my center so that the sensation was increased ten-fold. My thighs became weak with desire as he worked me into a rhythm. It wasn't long before my body began to pulse in time with his strokes and I closed my eyes just as I felt the first wave of my orgasm wash over me. He stroked me a couple of times more and then removed his hand and bought it to his mouth. Slowly he licked each of his fingers clean as he held my eyes. "You taste as good as you look," he told me.

His expression was one of such enjoyment, that it was impossible to feel self conscious. If he said I tasted good, then he meant what he said. I sat up and shook my hair free down my back. "My turn," I said as I swung my leg over his thighs so that I straddled him. But for the leather necklace around his neck, his torso was bare and his trousers were slung indecently low upon his hips. The hard ridge of his arousal was impossible to miss as it protruded beneath the fabric. I licked my lips in anticipation. It suddenly struck me that for maybe the first time since I had known him, he wore no gun belt. I raised my eyebrows.

"Since when do you not carry your gun?" I asked.

He laughed. "Why? You think I'm gonna need it?"

A sudden thought occurred to me. "Were you expecting this?" I asked as I stared down at him.

He looked perplexed. "What?" he glanced down to where my hands now rested on his bare stomach, "…_This?" _his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Yes, this; _sex,"_ I clarified." I grinned at him. "Did you come here tonight expecting you were going to get lucky?"

"I took my belt off to go to bed, and then the doc came to my door," he explained. "As soon as he left, I came straight here." He grinned at me, "So you see, contrary to what you imply, I have an innocent explanation."

I narrowed my eyes. Despite what he said, the wicked glint in his expression led me to believe that _innocent_ he was not.

"I never expected anything…" he continued, and a slow smile spread across his face, "But that's not to say I wasn't hopeful."

"I knew it," I slapped him lightheartedly on the chest.

He snickered. "Anyway, it's you who started it; I came to see if you wanted to _talk."_

I hooked my fingers beneath the belt on his pants and gave it a sharp tug. "Whatever," I told him, "Lets see how many words you can string together when you have my tongue wrapped around your cock."

His eyes flew open wide with astonishment. "Well…" he grinned a moment later, "Count me as keen to find out."

I slid the buckle on his belt undone and then slowly eased down his fly. His erection immediately sprang free, and I realized that was one of the benefits of going commando; it made for easy access. I decided to try it myself one day as he lifted his hips so I could tug his pants down and off his legs. With his hands now clasped leisurely behind his head, he lay back and watched me. I took a brief moment to admire the sight of him – naked and fully aroused on my bed – and then I knelt on the mattress and crawled up the length of his body. I looked up to make sure he was watching me, and then I ran my tongue up the length of his inner thigh. He groaned and reached down with one hand to stroke my hair. I licked the inside of his other thigh and grasped the base of his shaft in my hand. He was huge, and already as hard as iron. I lowered my lips to his sensitive tip and slowly circled him with my tongue. As I guessed, he had no words to say now – in fact he was deathly silent as I took him deeper into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around his length and dipped my head back and forth a little. He groaned, and I increased my range so that I took him in and out with greater degree. The feel of him in my mouth was such a turn on that I felt myself becoming aroused again. I imagined how the size of him would feel between my thighs as I teased him towards breaking point.

"That's enough," he suddenly said. His hands closed around my arms and he drew me back up towards him. His voice was husky with need. "I want to fuck you properly now," he told me.

His bluntness sent a shiver of excitement through me. "You do huh?" I taunted him, "Well, what say you hurry up about it then." The words were barely out of my mouth before he lunged at me and flipped me onto my back. I yelped in surprise as he pinned me in place beneath him and pushed at my entrance. With one smooth motion he sheathed himself inside me fully and I moaned and arched my head back against the pillow as he began to move. I was so aroused that the tension in me quickly began to build for the second time that night. He rode me hard so that I had no chance to regain the tenuous grip I had on my self control. I arched myself towards him and cried out as I came with a rush. He ceased his strokes and gave me a moment to recover before he rolled onto his side and pulled me with him. He was still rooted deep within me and I stretched one leg straight down between us and lifted my other to rest over his hip. It was an unfamiliar position, but not one without its merits. For one thing, the balance of power was now shared and either one of us could set the pace or depth of our movements. For another, our faces were so close that I could look at him while he moved inside me. This turned out to be a powerful stimulant, and I stared into the depths of his eyes as he held me close and eased himself gently in and out of me. I stroked his face, his neck, and he watched me all the while with cat-like intensity. I wondered if I could ever get enough of looking at him, and I studied his every feature as I tried to commit it to memory. When looking was no longer enough, I trailed my lips across his brow, his eyelashes, and finally the three small beauty spots that trailed outwards from the corner of his left eye. All the while he rocked back and forth inside of me, and despite the change in tempo, I gradually felt the pull inside me increase again. How he had kept himself from climaxing for so long, I had no idea, but I sensed he was finally nearing the edge of his control. His thrusts became deeper and a fine sheen of sweat broke out on his skin. He closed his eyes and rolled on top so that he could penetrate me more deeply. I felt my body give way to its third orgasm and I realized this was what he had been waiting for as he released himself inside me. There was no intense peak for me this time, instead the waves swept over me in one long continuous roll. By the time it was over my body felt heavy and sated. He relaxed on top of me and I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes.

We lay together that way for quite some time. At length, he withdrew and rolled onto his back. I turned onto my stomach and rested my head upon his chest. Just beneath my nose was the tooth he wore around his neck and under that was the scar that was identical to mine. I pushed the tooth out of the way and traced the scar with my finger tips. "The wraith," I asked, "They left this mark when they fed off you?"

He was silent for a moment. "They tried to feed off me," he said, "But for some reason they couldn't."

I frowned. "Do you have any idea of why?"

"Not really," he replied. "I resisted, but I doubt that was the sole reason."

I nodded. "It was the same for me," I told him.

He absorbed this piece of information in silence, and I felt his hand stroke lightly against the naked skin on my back.

"They _tried _to feed off me," I continued, "Again and again – until I was exhausted by their attempts. But for some reason they just couldn't get what they wanted out of me." I sat up and looked at him. Now that I had begun to talk about what I remembered, I didn't seem able to stop. "The wraith wanted to know about my home world," I told him, "About where it was I came from."

"The one I interrogated," he said, "he mentioned something similar."

I nodded. "I know. Apparently that's why they made me a runner. Not so they could hunt me – although they certainly did their share of that too – but so I could lead them back to my people."

He raised his eyebrows. "They must be some people you come from, to have the wraith so invested in finding them."

I nodded. "That's my thoughts too. The queen seemed to think I wouldn't be able to stay away from them for ever. She said I would eventually give in to my need to see them again." I looked at him, "I guess she planned to follow me to them."

He reached out and traced my jaw with his hand, but he didn't speak. He seemed to know that I needed to get this off my chest.

"But her plan backfired," I went on. "The device took my memory, so there was no way I could ever lead her anywhere." I frowned. "I don't know what would have been worse; to not know where I came from, or to remember but not be able to return."

Ronon cocked his eyebrow in thought, and I sighed and rested my head back on his chest. There really wasn't much else I could say, but he had been right about what he said earlier; it did feel better to talk about it. His arm came to rest around my waist and he held me to him.

"Whatever they did to you; it's over now," he told me.

I nodded. "I still worry that somehow they'll find me again," I said, "Which is stupid, because I know if anywhere is safe it has to be Atlantis."

"Even if they found you again, there's no way they could hurt you," he said. "To do that, they'd have to get past me first."

I closed my eyes. The words were not spoken by a love-struck boy who had no sense of their meaning. This was the promise of a man who knew what the wraith were capable of, and would put his life on the line if necessary to defend me. It was a comforting yet somber thought. I snuggled closer to him. Hopefully things would never come to that point. For now though I was prepared to accept his assurances and I closed my eyes and relaxed against him as I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **I have been pleasantly surprised by the number of people who are still adding my fic to their favorites – even after me not having updated in ages. Re-reading what I have written so far is a cringe worthy experience and I am very grateful for the leeway people have given me. For anyone who still cares what happens next, this chapter is minor filler (which is probably why I have struggled with it so much). I do have an ending in mind, and the plot will make major developments in the next chapter. For now, I am focused on action and a little Ronon romance. PG rated. Please read and review if you still care!

**Ronon POV**

I entered the control room to look for Sheppard and found him there hunched over a monitoring screen. "Morning," I said, as I rested my hip against the desk and folded my arms across my chest.

He straightened up and looked at me for a moment. "Is everything okay?"

I nodded. "Why do you ask?"

He frowned and studied me more closely. "There's something different about you this morning… You look," he paused as he tried to find the right word, "…I can't quite put my finger on it. I'd say you look _at ease_… or something akin to it."

I tried to shrug off his observation but it was impossible to hide the small smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth whenever I thought about Sara and the night before.

"Ah ha!" He picked up on my reaction immediately. "I knew it! Something _is_ different. So, you wanna enlighten me?"

I shook my head. Not a chance. "Nope."

He narrowed his eyes good-humoredly. "Okay, be like that then. Leave a buddy out in the cold."

I laughed. No way was I falling for that one. "So, what's the plan for today?"

"Well, since you're obviously in no mood for giving out," he turned back to the screen he had been studying, "How 'bout you take a look at this and tell me what you think?'

I straightened up and closed the gap between us so I had a clear view of what he was trying to show me. On the screen was a grainy image of what looked to be an abandoned warehouse. I stared at it for a moment. "You think there's something special about the place?" I asked.

Sheppard nodded. "What you're looking at is a live feed," he explained. "It's taken via mouse on a small planet near the centre of the Pegasus Galaxy. McKay was doing a search for possible power sources in the area and this place came up as generating a high level of activity."

"Doesn't look very active to me." I stared at the screen.

"Just wait for a moment and watch…"

A couple of moments passed, and suddenly the large iron door of the warehouse began to slide open. I frowned as a wraith soldier stepped into view. He looked to each side and then took up stance in front of the opened door. "What do you think he's up to?" I asked, my eyes fixed on the screen.

"To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure," Sheppard replied. "But whatever it is, it gives me a bad feeling."

I nodded. Anything concerning the wraith gave me a bad feeling. "We gonna check it out?"

'I'd like to. Problem is Major Lorne and his men are off duty today. I can call in McKay and Beckett to go with us, but Teyla is on the mainland, so that still leaves me short a team member." He studied the screen again. "I bet that guy's not acting alone and I sure don't fancy running into any of his buddies without a little more firepower to back me up.

An idea came to me, and I thought for a moment before I broached it with him. "Sara can handle a gun," I ventured.

He didn't reply for a moment, and from the corner of my eye I saw him purse his lips together in thought. The wraith on the screen did not move. "Okay," he said after a couple of moments, "Get ready and meet me in the jumper bay in fifteen minutes. We're gonna take a look." He turned and strode from the room.

I was ready to go as I stood, so I headed straight to the bay and propped myself up against a nearby railing to wait for the others to assemble. Sheppard appeared first, followed closely by Beckett and then Sara. I couldn't help but admire the slim figure she cut in her fitted leather pants and burgundy jacket. Her hair had been tousled when I left her bed that morning, but now it was combed back and held in place at the base of her neck with a tie. She looked relaxed and at ease; the submachine gun slung casually over her shoulder seeming as if it was part of her everyday attire. She smiled as she saw me and I pushed myself away from the railing to stand next to her.

Sheppard looked around. "Where's McKay?'

The words had barely left his mouth when the man in question entered the hanger. He was struggling to get the zip on his vest closed and as he fumbled with the mechanism, the gun on his shoulder slipped forward so that the butt hit the ground beside his feet.

I winced.

"How come it's only ever _my_ jacket that has these kinds of problems?" he complained. Finally he got the zip working and closed it right to the top of his neck. The zip must have pinched his skin because he craned his neck and lowered it a fraction again. Problem solved, his eyes passed over me and caught sight of Sara. "Oh… hello," he said. I noticed he suddenly stood a little straighter and repositioned his gun back upon his shoulder. "I wasn't expecting… that is," he looked at Sara, "I didn't know you were going to be coming with us. Not that that's a bad thing," he hastened to add.

Sara returned his smile, and I wasn't sure whether to be amused or wary of McKay and his obvious interest in her.

"Sara will be standing in for Teyla today," Sheppard explained, and I pushed thoughts of McKay aside as he went on to explain our mission objective. It seemed we were to go in, take a look around, and then – if the wraith were up to anything ominous – to make things as difficult as possible for whatever plans they had. So long as I got to kill a few of them in the process, it sounded like a good objective to me. I followed the others to the jumper and took a seat behind Sheppard. As we launched, I glanced behind to look at Sara. She looked cool and composed, but I could tell by the sparkle in her eyes that she was eager to be doing something again. As we passed through the gate, the jumper was set to cloak and I turned my mind back to the mission ahead.

The world – or what was left of it – consisted of little more than pile after pile of bricks and rubble. Here and there the odd building still stood, but for every one left unscathed, dozens more lay in ruin. The atmosphere inside the jumper was grim as we witnessed again first hand the destruction the wraith had bought to yet another human occupied world. I could not help but compare the scene with the fate suffered by Sateda. As I thought again about what the wraith had taken from me, I silently reaffirmed my pledge not to rest until the galaxy was free again from every last one of them.

"Down there." Sheppard's voice drew me back to the present and I looked out the window to find the warehouse we had discovered earlier. The solitary wraith soldier still stood guard outside, and there was no indication that any further activity had taken place since our departure from Atlantis.

"The scanners are picking up no sign of other ships in the area," McKay said.

"Let's put her down over there," Sheppard indicated a concrete pad about a block away from the warehouse and the jumper took a smooth turn to the right. A partially erect building stood between us and the warehouse. This would help to disguise any noise or dust we might make while landing. After appointing Becket to stay behind with the jumper, the rest of us disembarked to take a look around. Five minutes of walking later, I found myself crouched between Sheppard and McKay behind a rock wall just a few meters from the warehouse.

"I was right," Sheppard said as he chanced a look over the top. "Our friend is not alone. There are now two them outside." He ducked back down beside us. "We need to get closer – see what they're up to in there." There was a pause while he thought for a moment. "McKay, why don't you and Ronon take a scout around the back of the building – see if you can find another way in." He glanced across at Sara. "You and I'll stay here and cover the main entrance incase anything changes." He tapped his headset and looked at McKay. "Stay in radio contact and let us know if you find anything of interest."

As he finished talking, I began to shuffle along the wall a little in the direction he had indicated. I paused when I noticed McKay had made no move to follow. Instead he was still talking to Sheppard.

"Oh, that's just great," I heard him whisper. "You stay here with the pretty girl while I get sent off on a scouting mission with _Captain Caveman."_

I wasn't sure if Sheppard knew I could hear, but he turned his back to me a little before he replied. "It's Sara's first mission, so she stays here with me," he whispered. "Ronon is one of the most competent men I've got. I've put you with him because if something goes down and we need to blast our way back to the jumper I know he's capable of saving his ass – and that means yours too by association." He inclined his head in the direction we were supposed to be heading. "So, how 'bout you follow along and play nice, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, fed up with the delay. "We gonna do this, or what?"

McKay crouched and made his way towards me. I looked past him and caught Sara's gaze. "Be careful," I told her.

She nodded. "You too."

I turned from her to McKay. "Keep up," I told him, as I headed off. The rock wall made for good cover and we managed to travel almost the entire side length of the warehouse - a distance that I gauged to be around 200meters – before we had to leave the shelter to approach the warehouse from the rear. A number of low windows lined this end of the building and we made a dash from the closest one, both of us ending up crouched beneath it. 'The place is bigger than I thought," I breathed to McKay.

He nodded. "Maybe, if we can take a look through one of these windows, we can find out what we needed to know without having to actually go inside?"

I glanced at the window above me. It was roughly two meters square in size but the glass had long since been broken and the opening was now boarded up with a solid piece of wood. Slim chance we had of seeing anything through that. I was conscious that there was little cover for either of us, and if a wraith happened to do a circuit of the building we'd be sitting targets. "This one's no use," I said, keen to keep moving, "Let's try the next one."

A glance up at the second window revealed much the same thing – no glass and a series of boards blocking our view. I was about to keep going to the third and final window when McKay tugged at my sleeve.

"Wait a minute," he said, and I saw him remove a small mirror on a rod from his vest side pocket. "There are gaps in the boards. I can take a look between them with this."

I nodded approvingly. "Good thinking." I poised my gun and kept watch behind us as he extended the mirror towards the closest gap in the boards. "What do you see?" I asked after a moment.

He frowned, "It's so dark and gloomy…I can't see a thing."

I sighed. Maybe we should try our luck around the other side?

"Hang on… I think I have something." McKay twisted the mirror a little further to the left. "That's better. It looks like some kind of science lab…" he continued at length. "There's specimen jars and surgical equipment along the back wall, and..." He suddenly snatched the mirror away and crouched back down next to me. "Uh oh, we have company."

"Wraith?"

He nodded.

"How many?"

"Two, maybe three. I didn't exactly stick around to take a headcount."

I narrowed my eyes, frustrated by his vagueness. Before I could do anything more, a series of gun shots exploded in the air. McKay jumped, and I pivoted on the balls of my feet in the direction the shots had come from – the front of the warehouse. "Sheppard?" I tapped the intercom hooked to my ear, "What's goin' on?"

There was a brief silence and then, "We got surprised. Four wraith down, entrance is ungraded. Sara and I are about to head in before they get the jump on us again. You see anything inside?"

McKay spoke up, "Some kind of lab, it looks like they're conducting experiments-"

"Three wraith, maybe more," I interrupted. "They could be coming your way. I'll try and draw them off." I stood up and smashed the heel of my boot into the bottom plank that boarded the window. It broke inwards with a satisfying splintering of timber. I aimed my blaster at the second plank and blew it in two from close range.

"What are you _doing!"_ McKay exclaimed. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

"Fine," I told him, "You stay here then." I pushed the broken planks aside with my spare hand and as I did so, a wraith appeared inside the building. I bought my other hand around and fired a blast directly at his chest. He fell to his knees and I climbed in the window as a second shot glanced over my head. Before the next wraith could fire again, I shot him in the throat and then again in the chest. Let him recover from that! I looked around to find myself inside a small room, surrounded as McKay had said by surgical tools. I suddenly remembered he was outside and I sidled back to the window. "You coming in or not?" I called to him.

His head popped into view through the window. "Is it safe?"

A shadow of movement caught my eye and I spun around to face the small doorway that led into the room. "Give me five," I hissed, and launched myself towards the doorway to burst through it in a low roll. Two shots skimmed over my head and I twisted to shoot first one and then the second of two wraith who waited outside. As they fell to the ground, I completed my roll until I was upright and scouted the area for any further attack. Dimly I registered shots being fired elsewhere in the building, and then suddenly everything fell quiet. I stayed crouched, steadying my breathing as I searched the warehouse for further sign of danger.

"Ronon?"

Sheppard's voice came over the intercom. "Yeah?"

"You and Rodney okay?"

"Uh huh."

"Looks like the action is over. Sara and I are coming to join you."

"We're in a room at the back," I told him, my gun still raised in case of need. A movement behind indicated McKay had finally joined me inside. "McKay thinks this place is some kind of lab," I told Sheppard, "He's wants to take a look around." The sound of footsteps came to my ears and I trained my gun in their direction. When Sheppard and Sara materialized from the semi gloom, I relaxed a little and lowered my gun. They did the same and stepped over the two fallen wraith to approach the room where McKay worked. I stood aside so they could enter. Sara gave me a quick smile as she passed by. A few strands of hair had come free around her face and I noticed the knees of her leather pants were covered in dust from the concrete warehouse floor. I returned her smile and then took up position at the door again while they looked around the room. The warehouse seemed to consist of just the main body and the single small room; but I wanted to be sure we were not surprised by any wraith that might still be lurking in the darkened corners.

"Let's make this quick," Sheppard instructed McKay. "For some reason this place gives me the creeps."

"Uh, that could be because you are surrounded by jars containing organs," McKay indicated towards the large jars that lined the wall next to where I stood. "That would be _human _organs, incase you were wondering." He began to put names to the pieces as he went along the row, "Heart…intestines…spleen….s_omething…"_

I looked at the jars in question. They ranged in size from very small to roughly about the size of a human head - of which there thankfully did not appear to be any.

"Ugh," Sara took a step away from the wall. "Why would the wraith want human body parts?"

McKay approached a counter top off to the left in the room. For the first time I noticed a very wraith-like device sitting on top of it. "Hopefully we'll be able to find out," he said as he began to slide his fingers across the smooth surface of the object. A moment later a light came on and a screen lit up in front of him. "Hmm…"he said after he'd studied it for a moment, "This looks like fairly advanced wraith technology. Whatever they're up to, they've encrypted the information so we need an access code to get to it."

"You can't make any sense of it at all?" Sheppard asked.

"I said _fairly_ advanced technology," McKay replied as he continued to shift his fingers around upon the object, "Not that I couldn't find a way in." He hit a couple of keys and then suddenly drew back his fingers. "Uh oh."

I frowned, and Sheppard echoed my thoughts as he spoke. _"Uh oh" _he said, "What exactly is that supposed to mean"

You see that red light there," McKay pointed to a spot off to the right of the screen.

"You mean the one that's flashing?"

"_Yes,_ the one that's flashing," he rolled his eyes in impatience, "It's only just started doing that."

Sheppard stepped closer. "You think it's some kind of distress beacon?"

"With our luck, you can count on it. It must have been programmed into the system to go off if the access code was not entered within a certain time frame. This place could be crawling with wraith at any moment."

"We're not going to get a better chance to see what they're up to," Sheppard replied. "Keep working on it, I'll take Ronon and Sara out for a look around the warehouse to see what we can find. At the first sign of danger, we'll be back for you."

Sara and I followed Sheppard out into the warehouse so we were spared McKay's mutterings about stress and unnecessary risks, and something else that I didn't quite catch. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust now that we were away from the open window but eventually I could see relatively well through the semi-darkness. I kept close behind Sara as odd shapes loomed towards us in the gloom. With closer inspection, most of the shapes turned out to be piles of rubbish, some of which were piled so high that in places they reached right to the roof. I drew Sheppard's attention towards a stack of wooden crates. "Take a look," I said

"Dynamite," he read aloud the bold writing on the side of the one closest. "Interesting… There must be a tone of it stored here. I hope it's stable."

I raised my eyebrows. "Looks pretty old. Best we give it a wide berth."

He nodded, and the three of us moved further into the warehouse. Amongst the piles of man made rubble, we soon came across evidence of structures that had been put in place by the wraith. Eight large cage-like structures stood empty in one corner and in front of them a single bench. It looked almost identical to the one the wraith had stretched me out on when they'd implanted me with their tracking device. I glanced at Sara; she was staring at the table too.

"You okay?" I asked.

She held my eye, and I knew she was struggling with similar memories. "I'm fine," she said after a moment. "What do you think it means?"

I shrugged, and watched as Sheppard approached one of the cages. He pushed the barred door and it swung open on rusty hinges. "I doubt they're using these pens to hold each other," he said.

Sara frowned. "But why go to the trouble? If it's people they are holding, why not just keep them on their hive?"

"Exactly," Sheppard replied. "It's not like they don't have the capacity to for it."

"Maybe they're hiding something from their own kind?" Sara suggested.

I exchanged looks with Sheppard. "Might explain why there are so few guarding the place," I said.

He nodded. "Maybe. Let's keep looking; see what else we can find."

McKay's voice suddenly came over the intercom. "Colonel? I've got something here… You and the others might want to come back and take a look."

"We'll be right there," Sheppard replied. We hurried back to the room and I positioned myself by the window so I could look outside and still observe whatever McKay had to show us at the same time. No point in letting the wraith slink up while we were all distracted.

"What do you have?" Sheppard asked.

"From what I can tell, the wraith have been experimenting with human DNA. Back home we'd call it gene therapy, but because _we're_ their food source it's probably more exact to compare what they're doing to genetic farming."

I was unfamiliar with either term, so I listened as he explained further.

"We know the wraith are culling worlds much faster than they can recover, and one day in the not-so-distant future their food supply will run out. It would appear they are aware of this problem also, and from the data present, they are trying new techniques to find a way around the problem.

Sheppard frowned. "They're breeding humans?"

"Not exactly," McKay replied. "What they're doing is capturing live subjects and injecting them with massive amount of growth hormones and… something else – I can't pinpoint exactly what yet – but you can check out the effects for yourself here." He hit a key and a series of images came up on screen. The first was of a man who looked to be of about 25 years of age. He was tall and lean with blond hair, and was being held in a cage similar to the ones we had seen in the warehouse. The images flicked by on the screen and as each one passed, the man became noticeably leaner and more muscular. I realized I was looking at a time-lapse video. "These were taken over a period of about three weeks," McKay confirmed my thoughts. We watched as the man began to mutate in front of us. First his limbs became disproportionately long and then his brow began to grow heavy. Although the images were stills, we could see the change in his demeanor. He became steadily less human and more hunched and beast-like, clutching at the bars of his cage and snarling – whether in pain or in rage it was difficult to tell. Finally the images came to an end and we were left staring at something that was barely recognizable as human form. His brow was so extended it shadowed his eyes and the rest of his face was covered by a beard it would take an ordinary man six months to grow. He held the bars of his cage with talon like hands and his eyes stared menacingly at the camera.

"My God…" Sara whispered.

McKay hit another button and a tape recording began to play. This time the same man was strapped to a table. We watched in morbid fascination as a wraith approached him and placed his hand upon the man's chest to begin the feeding process. The man screamed and fought wildly against his confines and it was all I could do not to look away. The feeding should have been over in a matter of minutes but instead it went on and on. A second wraith took over, and then a third. I lost count at somewhere after six. The man withered in pain for the entire duration and I clenched my fists as I watched him. It was only when he finally became still and devoid of life that the final wraith removed his hand. The clip came to an end.

For a moment nobody spoke. "I've never seen anything like this before," McKay finally ventured.

"Well, I for one never want to see anything like it again," Sheppard replied. He looked at me. "There's enough dynamite out there to blow this place sky high," he said. "I say we ignite it and then get the hell out of here."

I nodded, eager to be taking action. "I'll help."

"Wait a minute, did you say dynamite?" McKay interrupted

"I did," Sheppard confirmed, "And before you give me a lecture on the unstableness of its properties, let me tell you this. I have no intention of leaving this place standing. If we can save even one person from a similar fate to that man on the video, then I am willing to take the risk of engaging the dynamite. Radio Beckett and get him to stand by with the jumper, and then follow Ronon and Sara out the window. I'll stay behind and set a fuse to ignite the blast."

I shook my head. "I'm not leaving without you," I told him.

"No point in risking both of our necks," he said. "See Rodney and Sara back to the jumper and then wait for me outside."

Although I was reluctant to leave, I knew I had no choice but to follow his orders. I gave him a nod and moved towards the window. Outside, everything appeared still and I quickly climbed out of the building to stand on the ground. Sara and McKay followed. We made it back to the rock wall when suddenly the sound of a wraith dart rang out overhead. "Go for the jumper," I yelled to Sara and McKay, "I'll wait here for Sheppard."

"I'm staying too," Sara insisted. She extended her gun out over the wall and began to fire as three wraith beamed down onto the street. I didn't see where McKay went because I was too busy yelling into the intercom. "Sheppard, we've got company," I told him, "You need to get outta there. Fast!" I pulled out my blaster and began to fire. Sara had done a good job of holding the wraith at bay, but there were now too many of them for her to manage alone. I pivoted and shot two of them that approached from behind while she covered the front. A wraith dart flew directly overhead and we both dived to the side to avoid being caught in its beam.

"The Colonel's coming," Sara yelled, her voice almost drowned out by the surrounding gunfire. I watched Sheppard emerge from the building and did my best to cover him as he made for the wall beside us. He was breathing hard as he dived onto the ground next to me.

"Get down!" he yelled, "She's gonna blow any-"

His words were drowned out as the warehouse in front of us exploded with an almighty bang. I threw myself down on top of Sara as a huge fireball burst into the sky. The flames engulfed a passing dart and it spiraled out of control and crashed to the ground just a few meters behind where we were taking shelter. The dart debris fell around us and as I pulled back a little to allow Sara to sit up, I caught her eye. She was dusty and disheveled, but despite everything she grinned and I noticed she still had a firm grip on her gun. It suddenly hit me that although I tried to deny it, I cared for her in a way I had never expected to care for someone again. For better, or for worse, I was in love with her. Completely, utterly, irreversibly – the kind of love that rips your soul bare to lose from knowing it. Impulsively, I leaned over and placed my mouth down on top of hers. Her lips were soft and moist, and although the kiss was brief, its intensity drowned out everything else around us. I pulled back and looked into her eyes, then, as one, we raised our weapons and turned from each other to resume fighting.

Dimly, I heard Sheppard call over the intercom. ""Beckett! We're about to be over-run here, can you bring the jumper and pick us up?"

Before the words had fully left his mouth, I felt a down draught of air above us. I shot two advancing wraith and Sara clipped a third in the shoulder. Dust swirled around us and for a moment it was difficult to see anything at all.

"The jumper's here!" Sheppard called, and I grabbed Sara's arm and began to follow his voice towards where it had landed. The cloak mode was deactivated for just enough time for us to locate the door and stumble on board.

"That's everyone!" McKay yelled, and we rushed to our seats as he took the controls alongside Beckett and helped to fly the jumper out of immediate danger.

"That was too close," Sheppard said when he had recovered his breath.

Nobody seemed about to disagree, and I sat back in my seat as the gate was dialed and we passed back to the safety of Atlantis. Beckett and McKay landed the jumper and shut off the engine. A moment later they stood up to disembark. I glanced over at Sara and noticed she was hunched forward in her seat with her fingers pressed to her forehead.

"Hey," I left my seat and went over to her, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and straightened up. "I just had the weirdest feeling…"

Beckett must have overheard, because I moment later I found him crouched beside me. "Just stay there for a moment," he instructed Sara. His eyes left her face for long enough to indicate Sheppard and McKay should continue to leave. "I'll take care of her," he told them. "I'm probably just the excitement getting to her." He did not suggest that I should go with them, so I stayed where I was.

"Sara?" he said, as he removed a pen-light from his pocket, "Can you look at me please?"

She did as he asked, and he shone the light into each of her eyes in turn. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she blinked. "It was just a passing thing…" She frowned. "Just for a moment I thought I remembered something – _everything_ – but then before I could really grasp it, it was all gone again."

He nodded. "It's possible the stress of the last few hours may have triggered a something inside your head. Instead of thinking about your memory loss, you will have been focused on something entirely different. Perhaps this was the opportunity you needed to process things a little."

She looked at him. "Really?"

He shrugged, "Or not. It's difficult to tell for sure." He smiled a little to soften his words. "It seems like a good sign though. Your memory is still trying to return. I'd recommend you take things easy for the rest of the day and don't try to force things to come to you."

She nodded and began to stand up, and I grasped her hand to assist her.

"Ronon," Beckett turned to me, "Do you have plans for the rest of the day?"

"Not that I've been told about," I replied. "Why? You want me to keep an eye on her?"

He nodded. "That was what I had in mind. "I'm sure she'll be fine, but it would be nice to know she has someone she trusts nearby - incase things get a little overwhelming again." He looked at me, "So long as you don't mind?"

I shook my head. Quite the opposite. "It's no problem." I released her hand and followed her off the jumper. Once we were out of earshot of Beckett, Sara turned to me.

"You really don't have to play nursemaid, you know," she said. "I'll be quite fine by myself."

I smiled at her. "I see it as being asked to do exactly what I wanted to do anyway," I replied, and then I bit my tongue as I realized that as far as statements went, this was as close as I'd come to actually admitting how I felt about her.

Her expression softened. "Really?"

I nodded, and it seemed my confirmation caught her off guard. For just a second I saw through the brave façade she put on for everyone – including me, it seemed – and realized how hard she was really finding things at Atlantis. For the second time in as many hours, I reached out and tilted her face towards mine. With all of the tenderness I felt, I brushed my lips gently against hers. She melted against me, soft and pliant so that for a moment I forgot we were in the middle of the jumper bay in view of anyone who might happen to pass by. Reluctantly I broke the kiss. "I think we should continue this some were more private," I told her, and then, "My room is closest."

Her cheeks were flushed with color as she nodded, and I closed my hand around hers and led her from the hanger. "Wait," she said a moment later, when I impulsively took a turn in the opposite direction of my room. "Where are we going?"

"The cafeteria," I told her. "Figured if we pick up something to go, then we won't need to come out again until morning."

As it turned out, later when she rose from my bed in all her naked glory to retrieve the tray of food, I was grateful for my foresight.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Thank you so much to the lovely readers who reviewed my last chapter! Each of you made my day (and motivated me to keep going with this!).

**Sara POV**

Ronon's chest was warm beneath my cheek as I woke in the darkness. I had been dreaming, I realized; an usually vivid dream that seemed to have stayed with me during my transition to wakefulness. I lifted my head slowly as I tried to make sense of the images that played through my mind. There was a four posted bed, the drapes and canopy of which were made of a heavy burgundy fabric with edges trimmed in gold. An assortment of different size pillows were propped against the dark mahogany headboard, and candle light filtered through the drapes – or maybe it was firelight from the hearth? I concentrated, yes, I realized, it was definitely firelight.

"Something the matter?" Ronon's voice broke the silence in the room. I realized that despite my care, I had managed to wake him.

"I don't know," I said, as I lowered my head back to his chest. His heartbeat reverberated against my ear and I took comfort in the sound as I raised my hand and traced circles in the smattering of hair on his chest with my fingertips. "I'll be fine," I told him, "Just go back to sleep."

He curled his arm around my back and stroked my spine gently. Beneath the single sheet across our hips we were both naked. I pulled the sheet up a little and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. In just over an hour we would need to be up in time to report for duty. I snuggled closer to Ronon, eager to postpone the moment for as long as possible. Soon my mind began to drift and I surrendered again to the pull of sleep. This time the bed I dreamed of earlier was gone, replaced by a wide open grass field. The sun was out, and a gentle breeze shifted my hair about my face. I smiled and began to walk. The breeze picked up and I noticed that as I walked faster, the breeze began to blow stronger. I broke into jog and the sun went behind a cloud – only when I looked over my shoulder, I discovered that it wasn't a cloud at all. A wraith hive hovered right above me, the sun blocked out by its formidable mass. I broke from a jog into a run and the wind howled against my face as I searched frantically for somewhere to hide. Suddenly I saw the familiar shape of a stargate in front of me. I reached the control panel and dialed as fast as I could. The gate activated, but before I could step through it the hive ship began to emit a loud, insistent beeping sound that, try as I might, I couldn't block out.

"Sara?" Ronon's voice woke from my dream. I sat up, my mouth dry and my heart pounding. He turned off the alarm on the bedside clock, and the beeping sound from my dream stopped. "Bad dream?" he rolled back towards me.

I nodded. "You could say that."

He reached out and ran his hand up the length of my arm. Before I knew it, I found myself lowered back down onto the bed while he propped himself up on his elbow above me. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

I looked past his gaze and stared up at the ceiling. Now that my initial fear had subsided, I realized something startling. "I remember the gate address," I told him.

He frowned. "I don't follow."

"I dreamed I dialed the gate," I shifted my eyes to him, "And now that I'm awake I still remember the address I chose."

He held my gaze, his green eyes even and unreadable. "And this is important how?"

I frowned, eager for him to understand but reluctant to take the time necessary to explain it to him fully. "I think it might be the address to my home world," I said, as I sat up.

I had his attention now. He pushed himself off his elbow and sat up beside me. "You think so?"

I swung my legs out of bed and got to my feet. "Yes," I told him as I began to pull on my clothes. "Don't ask me how, but I believe I'm starting to remember things from my past."

He raised his eyebrows and looked at me for a moment. "Wait up," he said, and then rolled to the opposite side of the bed and got out. In spite of my desire to get going, I paused for a moment to admire his perfectly toned shoulders and ass, encased in tanned olive skin. He bent to retrieve his pants and turned around to catch me staring.

"Just admiring the view," I told him, as I slipped my arms into my jacket sleeves. If the back view was tantalizing, then the front was downright X-rated.

"I thought I gave you plenty of chance to do that last night – and then again in the small hours of the morning – if I recall," he drawled.

"Indeed," I replied. My body was still pleasantly tender from all the hours of non-sleep. "Not that I mind you in your current state, but if you want to find Colonel Sheppard with me then it's probably best if you hurry up and put something on."

He raised his eyebrows. "You gonna keep calling him that for ever?" he asked. "It sounds kind'a formal".

I grabbed a hair brush and set to work on my hair. "Maybe," I agreed, "But somehow I just don't feel right calling him by anything else."

Ronon shrugged and let the matter drop. By the time we had both taken a quick wash, the hour was decent enough that we might expect to find the Colonel up and about. As it was, we located him in the cafeteria, eating breakfast with Teyla and Rodney. Ronon insisted on filling a plate before we joined them, but I found I was too anxious to eat, so I settled on a cup of coffee.

"Morning," we exchanged greetings while Ronon and I took a seat each at the table. I took a hasty sip from my mug and then addressed the Colonel. "I think I've remembered the gate address to my home world," I told him. He raised his eyebrows and I saw Rodney and Teyla turn to look at me with interest. Rodney even lowered his fork so he could listen better to whatever I might say next.

"Well, that's an interesting development," Colonel Sheppard replied. "You mind explaining how it came about?"

"I had a dream," I told him, "…this morning. Only it wasn't really a dream. Well parts of it probably were," I corrected, and then I paused as I realized I probably wasn't making much sense. I took a deep breath and slowed down my words. "I dialed the gate from memory in my dream, and when I woke up I realized that I can still recall the address."

The Colonel pursed his lips and nodded thoughtfully for a moment. "And you think this address you dialed is the one to your home world?"

I nodded, and chanced a glance around the table. Now that I'd said the words out loud, I realized how fetched my theory probably sounded. Rodney appeared openly skeptical, while Teyla gave me a sympathetic smile and then lowered her eyes. Beside me, Ronon seemed to be more interested in his breakfast than what I had to say. My heat began to sink. 'Look," I said, "I realize this sounds crazy… but if you'd just let me check it out. I don't expect you – or anyone else – to come with me. I'd be happy to go by myself." This of course wasn't exactly true, but if it came down to it, I'd rather go alone than not at all.

Ronon dropped his fork onto his empty plate. "I'll go with you," he said.

I felt a surge of appreciation towards him. Given that I had doubted him just moments before, this also bought with it a feeling of shame. After all we had been through, why could I not accept his actions at face value? Surely I didn't expect him to prove himself at every turn? I hoped this sudden mistrust was not linked to the return of my memory.

"Okay," the Colonel broke into my thoughts, "How about everybody just calm down for a moment." He held up his hand as if he expected Ronon and I might spring out of our seats and head to the gate room at any moment. "If you feel that strongly about this, Sara, then I think it's probably worth following up. Unfortunately, there's a little thing called _procedure _for these things, and we need to make sure we follow it. I'll put the matter to Doctor Weir, and then we'll see where to take it from there."

I nodded. "Okay," I agreed. At least he hadn't outright declined. "But do you think you could talk to her today?" I knew I was pushing, but I couldn't help myself.

"I'll head right on over and speak to her now," he assured me. "Why don't you and Ronon kick back for a while and then meet me in my office in about half an hour?" He gave me a lop-sided smile. "That should give me enough time to convince Doctor Weir to let you near the gate room for the second time in as many days."

I smiled. "Oh, I forgot about the whole gate room no-go thing," I told him.

He got to his feet. "I didn't get a chance to tell you yesterday, but you did a good job with us off world. I figure I can probably use that to help swing things in your favor a little."

"Thanks," I replied, both to the compliment and to what he was trying to achieve for me.

He nodded and left the table, along with Teyla and Rodney. I over-heard him tell them both to stay in touch in case Weir gave him permission to go off-world, and my hopes lifted a little. Once they were out of sight, I sank back in my chair. Now all I could do was wait and hope. I turned to look at Ronon. "What are you going to do until it's time to meet with the Colonel?" I asked.

He gave me a sidelong glance and lifted his empty plate from the table. "Seconds," he replied.

xXx

**Ronon POV**

I stood next to Sara in the gate room. Before us there was an overhead screen that showed an image of sand and desert – two things we seemed to have seen a lot of in the last forty minutes. I shifted my weight to my other foot. "How 'bout you try another direction?" I asked McKay.

"Oh, sure," he released the lever that controlled the mouse and threw his hand in the air. "And which direction would you suggest I try? We've already searched every single direction there possibly is within a 30 kilometer radius." He leaned back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest. "All I get is sand, sand and more sand. There's not even a _hill,_ let alone any sign of life. As far as worlds go, this would take first place for the most uninhabited we've encountered to date."

The room lapsed into silence. It appeared that the co-ordinates Sara remembered were not those of her home world after all - or at least not one that had existed within the last few hundred years.

Sheppard walked over to McKay. "Looks like it's time to shut things down," he said. "I'm sorry, Sara. At least we gave it a shot."

She shook her head. "Something's not right," she maintained. "Please, before you close the gate, let me go through and take a look. I have such a strong feeling on this… I can't let it go until I'm sure."

I had no intention of watching her go through the gate alone, but I resisted saying so for fear of upsetting her objective. I looked to Sheppard for his call.

"I don't know…" he hedged. "We had a pretty good scout around with the mouse."

"Please," Sara implored. "I _need _to do this."

He sighed. "Well, alright then… I guess it can't hurt to take a quick look."

I started to speak, but he held up his hand to cut me off. "Nobody's going through the gate alone though," he said, as if he had read my intentions. "We'll assemble a team and then all go through together." He looked at Sara. "I'll give you two hours to look around, and then if we haven't found anything, we'll pull out. Okay?"

Sara nodded, and I could see how relieved she was by the decision. We waited while Sheppard informed Weir via intercom about his decision to take a team off-world. "Okay," he turned back to us, "McKay, Teyla, Ronon…Are you guys ready to roll out?"

There was a general scurry of activity as gear was adjusted and guns were fetched. "This had better not make us late for lunch," McKay muttered to Teyla, "I usually like to beat the rush so I don't have to wait in line with the subordinates."

I approached Sara. "You ready?"

She nodded, "As ready as I'll ever be."

We stepped through the gate, and were hit almost immediately by an intense wave of heat.

"Phew," Sheppard exclaimed as he came through behind us. "I think we're all a little overdressed. He put his gun down and removed his jacket to tie around his waist. Sara followed suit, and I noted that beneath her coat she wore a white fitted tank. It hugged her chest so invitingly that for a moment I was completely distracted from anything else.

"You gonna lose the jacket?" Sheppard asked McKay, who still wore his zipped to his chin.

McKay tilted his chin in the air defensively. "I have sensitive skin," he declared. "I would prefer not to expose any more of it than necessary to direct UV rays."

"Suit yourself," Sheppard shook his head. "Just don't expect us to carry you if you fall over with heat exhaustion." He looked at Teyla and I and raised his eyebrows in silent question.

I shrugged. I was dressed in my usual leathers and a top with no sleeves. The heat didn't bother me.

Teyla smiled. "I am fine, thank you," she told him, and then turned to Sara. "So, Sara, in which direction would you like us to proceed?"

Everyone looked at Sara, and she hesitated a moment before pointing a little to the right of the gate. "This way," she said, and began to walk. It was slow going in the sand, and with the sun beating down it made for harder going still. I quickened my step and caught up with Sara out in the lead. "You have any more insights?" I asked.

"Not really," she wrinkled her nose. "Something just tells me I need to go this way." We walked for a few moments and then she spoke again. "I don't think I told you this before, but the day I explored the botany lab on Atlantis, I discovered a bucket of sand stowed away beneath a table. Something about seeing that sand gave me a really weird feeling." She puffed lightly for breath, "Don't you think it's a bit of a coincidence that the address I recalled has bought me to a world that's full of the stuff?"

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Sheppard's voice suddenly came from behind. "Hey, wait up you guys."

We turned around to see what he wanted, and discovered that McKay had lagged a short way to the rear. It was not the walk that appeared to have slowed him though, but some kind of device that he held stretched out in front of him. "You found something of importance?" Sheppard asked him, as we regrouped nearby.

McKay tapped the device he was holding. "This stupid thing," he said, "It seems to be malfunctioning. It should only blip when it picks up an active signal from a stargate." He held it up, and twisted around as it blipped again quite clearly. "The stargate is about five kilometers behind us, there's no way it should be picking up a signal at this distance."

Sheppard shrugged. "You can get it checked out when we get back to Atlantis," he told him. "No point in worrying about it now." He turned back to face us and we were about to resume walking when all of a sudden a stargate appeared from nowhere just a few meters to the left of where we stood. Three ships burst through it and flew out over the sand.

"Everybody down!" Sheppard yelled, as he threw himself onto his stomach in the sand.

We all followed suit, and I was acutely aware of how vulnerable we were, stuck out in the open with nothing to shelter behind. As soon as possible, I rose into a crouch and drew my gun. Beside me, the stargate that the ships came through suddenly vanished into thin air.

"What the…" Sheppard exclaimed as he saw the same thing.

I looked back at the sky as the three ships swept by over our heads. The first two were fast and slim lined, with guns mounted on both sides of their diamond shaped bodies. The third was bigger and slower, a cargo ship – or possibly an armed forces carrier. Despite our being clearly visible against the expanse of sand, they did not fire upon us, and I frowned as I realized something about their design looked vaguely familiar.

"Everybody up," Sheppard, took the chance to re-gain some order. "Draw your weapons, but hold fire until my command."

The ships swept back towards us and then veered and slowed so they could settle in the sand a short distance from where we stood. I held up my spare hand to fend off the swirl of sand stirred by their engines, and McKay spluttered and choked loudly behind me.

Moments after the ships landed, the crew began to disembark in military style format. About twenty men, all clad in black uniforms and with guns drawn, fanned out across the sand and advanced towards us.

"They're gonna try and flank us," I warned Sheppard.

"I know," he replied, "But I figure if they wanted us dead, then they would have shot us already. Just hold your fire, and hopefully we'll find out what they want."

"Whatever you say," I told him, "But give the word and I'm ready to take out the five on my end." I held my gun at the ready.

"I'm hoping it won't come to that," he said, but I saw him adjust his line of fire slightly so that he covered a different group of men than I.

I glanced to my left to see how Sara was taking things, and for the first time I realized she did not have her gun drawn. Instead, she had her hands raised to her face and she appeared to be crying. I caught Sheppard's attention with a short, low whistle, and then inclined my head towards Sara and stood back so he could take a look.

He frowned. "Hey, Sara?" he called, "What's going on?"

She lowered her hands, and I saw that my assumption was right and she was indeed crying. She did not look at us, but stared straight ahead at the advancing men. I followed her line of sight and saw to my surprise that one of them – a tall, muscular man with long blond hair – had dropped his weapon and was advancing towards us at a lope. I reached out to her with my free hand, but before I could touch her, she shook her head. "It's okay…" She said, "…I remember." A moment later she stepped away from my side and took the remaining few steps towards the approaching man.

"Sara?" he said, his expression a mixture of joy and disbelief. "My God…" His voice was hoarse with emotion, "It's really you?" He held out his arms, and without hesitation she stepped into them. They embraced each other with such force that for a moment Sara's feet were lifted clean off the ground. My heart was heavy in my chest as I watched from the sidelines.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the rest of us. Both sides eyed the other warily, guns still raised, while the couple between us seemed oblivious to our presence.

After a moment, Sheppard stepped back. "Lower your weapons," he ordered.

I did so reluctantly. It went against my nature to lower my gun first. Something about the man that held Sara was bugging me though. I felt like I knew him somehow – a theory that couldn't possibly be true. He certainly wasn't from Sateda, and other than Sheppard and the team at Atlantis I had barely spoken to another person for over seven years.

At length, Sara stepped away from the man and seemed to remember that we were there. She said something to her companion that I strained to hear and then took him by the hand and led him towards us. The turmoil I felt at seeing them together increased as they drew closer. I had considered the possibility that Sara might have someone in her past who she cared about, but seeing her with this man seemed to have knocked the wind out of me. Tall and fair, he walked towards us with the confident air of a leader amongst men. I straightened up as he neared, and then suddenly it hit me where I had met him before. The fighter ships, the military regiment - they were identical to those of the men I had met in skirmish with the wraith back on Trakera. The man who now stood before me with Sara was the very same person who had asked me to join with he and his people. The realization sent me reeling, and for a moment I could do nothing but stand and stare as Sara introduced him to us.

"Colonel Sheppard, Ronon, Doctor McKay, Teyla – I would like you all to meet someone who is very special to me." While I struggled to recall the man's name, Sara let go of his hand and touched his arm affectionately. "This is Lieutenant Erik Thorn," she said. "He is second in command of my people…" She looked at me and I saw the tears in her eyes as she smiled…"And he is also my brother."

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	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **I would love to have thrown this chapter at my beta for an extra read through, but as I am working solo that is sadly not an option. I hope my mistakes are on too glaringly obvious! Thanks to all who left me a review for my last chapter. I write faster if I know people are reading!

**Sara POV**

I swiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand. Now that my memory had returned – was still returning more with each moment – there was so much to process all at once. I struggled to fit the pieces of my old life together with everything that had happened to me over the past few months. Two of the biggest parts stood right in front of me; my brother, and the people who had helped bring me back to him. I hurried to introduce Erik to Colonel Sheppard, Ronon and the others from Atlantis. As I did so, Erik commanded his men to lower their weapons, and I breathed a little easier as the tension between the two groups lifted a little. I knew how secretive my brother and our people were about the concealed gate to our home world, and it shocked me that they had just revealed its location to the strangers who I travelled with. I guessed they had been watching us for some time before they decided that the team from Atlantis posed no threat to me.

Colonel Sheppard extended his hand towards my brother. "Lieutenant Thorn," he inclined his head in acknowledgement.

Erik shot me what I could only think of as a sideways look before accepting the Colonel's hand. I frowned as he turned away from me a little and lowered his voice. 'It's _General_ Thorn," I heard him say. "Pleased to meet you, Colonel."

I frowned, not sure that I had heard him correctly. An uneasy feeling stirred in the pit of my stomach. "What did you say?" I asked.

Erik let go of the Colonel's hand and turned his head slowly towards me. I knew him well enough to realize that something was not right and that he was choosing his words carefully. "There's been a few changes while you've been gone, Sara."

I frowned. Changes? What kind of changes? "What do you mean?" I asked. My mind raced to make sense of yet another new turn. Erik was Lieutenant of our people – he had been so for a number of years now – and was second in command only to our father, General Stanton Thorn. Suddenly it hit me what he was trying to hide from me. _Your father_ – _the almighty leader – is dead. _"No," I said, as the words of the wraith echoed through my head. I turned to my brother, "Please, tell me it's not true."

He reached out and rested his hand on my shoulder. 'I'm sorry," he said, "I would have told you eventually. I didn't want you to find out like this."

For the second time in such a short period, I felt the pressure of hot tears prickle behind my eyes. I blinked rapidly, determined not to let them fall. "When?" I asked.

"Not long after you were taken," Erik explained. "We knew the hive you were on board and we launched an attack on it… His _sparc_ was shot down. There was nothing anyone could do."

The macabre vision of my father's lifeless body hung for display on a wraith hive, faded from my mind. At least it appeared that part of his death was a lie. I tried to refocus myself as Erik shook hands with Rodney and Teyla, but my heart was heavy. I ached for a quiet, calm place where I could relax and process the news of my father's death and the reappearance of Erik and my people. The realization made me think of Ronon – my anchor over the past weeks. I turned to him, but Erik had already captured his attention.

"Ronon," he said, "Once again we meet under unusual circumstances."

"You two know each other?" They were my words, but Colonel Sheppard who put voice to then.

"We've met," Ronon confirmed. His tone was ambiguous and he didn't seem about to elaborate. I watched as he and my brother clasped each other's forearms in a rudimentary handshake.

"It looks like we've all got a lot of questions to ask each other," Erik said, "But I feel it is precarious for us to linger here any longer than necessary."

Before he could suggest we go elsewhere, I interrupted. "They can come with us back to _Tarus_," I said. My longing for home was like a physical ache and when I returned there, I wanted those who had made it possible, to be there with me.

Erik gave me a solemn look. I knew he was thinking about the risks of exposing our home world to the strangers who I travelled with.

"If it makes you feel any better," I told him, "I trust each of these people implicitly." My eyes went to Ronon, "If not for them, I might not be here right now."

Erik raised his eyebrow and then slowly turned to face the Colonel. "It would appear we are indebted to you and your people," he said. "I thank you for the safe return of my sister." He glanced at me. "On her council, I would like to ask you and your team to accompany us back to our home world."

The Colonel looked at him for a moment. "I guess we can manage that," he replied. I could tell by his tone that he was just the slightest bit offended by Erik's apparent lack of trust. I did not blame him, but had I been in Erik's position, I would have reacted exactly the same way. There was so much riding on the secret location of our home world. If nothing else, my stay on Atlantis told me that the colonel and his people would appreciate this better once they got there themselves. Actually, with what I now knew about both Tarus and Atlantis, I was suddenly very excited for the people from Atlantis to see my home world. I wanted to say something about this, but the Colonel had not finished talking to Erik. "We'll accept your offer," he said, "But I'll need to run it by Atlantis first."

"Atlantis, did you say?" Erik looked at him with newfound interest. "Your conquests against the wraith have reached our ears. It seems we may have even more to discuss than I first imagined." He turned and retreated to join his men, and I followed him with my eyes. With a twinge of elation I searched the familiar faces of those around him. Major Rakin – or Troy, as I knew him – Captain Alexander, Officer Banks… My eyes skimmed over the men, and then suddenly locked with those of a man who stared straight back at me. _Marcus. _My heart started to pound. He looked exactly the same; clean cut, blue eyed, broad shouldered...

"Sara?" The Colonel appeared beside me. He was flanked by Ronon and the others from Atlantis. "Weir's given clearance for us to follow you and your brother to your home world," he told me. "Are you okay with that?"

I nodded my consent. Right at this moment I was too overcome with emotion to trust myself to speak. Erik's appearance… my father's death… and now Marcus… Vaguely I registered the others moving towards the armored transport that waited.

"You okay?" Ronon asked, and I realized he was still beside me. He was close enough that he reached out and touched my arm.

I nodded. "It's just…" My voice caught in my throat, "It's _harder_ than I thought," I told him.

His hand squeezed my upper arm, and I turned towards him. "It'll get better," he said.

I nodded. "I hope so." I held his gaze for a long moment and then glanced over my shoulder to where the others waited. "We should go."

He dropped his hand, and together we walked the short distance across the sand. Most of the others had by now taken a seat on board the ship; but not Erik. His keen eyes followed or progress and I knew he had witnessed our brief exchange. I glanced at him as he stepped aside and allowed us to board, but his expression was unreadable. A moment later he joined us and took up his seat at the front. "That's everyone," he shouted through the front to Troy, who was in the driver's seat. The heavy steel door lifted shut and we began to rise off the ground. I looked out the window as the gate reappeared and we moved towards it, the _sparcs_ out in front. A moment later we left the barren wasteland of the desert world, _Cynox_ behind us and flew out above open grass fields.

"This is _Tarus,_" Erik explained over the din of the aircraft engines as we flew. "My grandfather, Josiah Thorn discovered her when his home world _Namera,_ was culled by the wraith a little over one hundred years ago."

The people from Atlantis sat forward in their seats and looked out the side windows. "How many of you live here?" the Colonel asked.

"A little under eight hundred," Erik replied. "Some – myself and Sara included – are direct descendants of the forty three Nameraians who followed my grandfather here." He leaned forward in his seat, and called through to the pilot. "Drop us directly at _Thornby,_ Troy, then proceed on to the airfield."

"Got that," Troy called back from the cockpit, and the ship veered slightly to the right. A moment later, Rodney startled me as he pointed out the window in excitement.

"Will you take a look at that!" he said the Colonel.

I guessed he had seen our aircraft control tower, and the Colonel's reply confirmed my suspicions. "It looks almost identical to the center spire at Atlantis," he said in awe. "At the very least, it's sure to be of ancient origin. General Thorn, how exactly did you say your grandfather found this place again?"

"Erik," my brother corrected, "And I didn't say. Mostly because it's long and complex, and not something I want to get into right now – at least not until I've spoken with Sara and learnt what's been happening to her over the past months. I'll be happy to explain to you in depth later though."

The Colonel nodded, more content to accept Erik's response than Rodney, who looked positively crest fallen. I turned from them both and looked out the window as the welcoming sight of _Thornby_ – my childhood home – appeared on the cliff top beneath us. I stared at the four stone outer walls, the centre courtyard and the two front facing corner turrets… It was all so familiar that it was difficult to imagine I could ever have forgotten it so completely. The aircraft descended and then came to a gentle landing on the gravel pad outside. The steel door began to open and I followed Rodney, Ronon and the others out into the sunlight as we waited for Erik to join us.

"Thanks, Troy," I heard him call, and then he jumped from the ship deck straight to the ground without the aid of the ramp.

"_This_ is where you live, Sara?" Teyla asked as Erik approached and the transport lifted off behind us. "It is very impressive."

"Impressive?" Rodney echoed, "It's a _castle."_

I tried to see Thornby through their eyes, but the towering walls, stone arches and stain glass windows would all only ever mean home to me. I abandoned the exercise, and left them to their awe as I took the large stone stairs that led to the heavy wooden entrance doors. The sentries stationed on either side moved to open then as I approached. Both gave me startled looks of recognition and I smiled at them as I passed through. At once I found myself standing in the grand hall, its high arched ceiling and formidable stone pillars exactly as I remembered.

"Sara?"

I spun around to see the elegant form of my sister-in-law standing a short distance away. Her long, dark hair was pulled back into a single braid, and her dark brown eyes stared at me in surprise. At her feet, a small boy clutched at her skirts, his face hidden from view as I stared at his mother.

"Isobel," I choked. I reached out to her, but she appeared rooted to the spot. "It's me," I told her. By now I was getting used to the shocked reactions my sudden appearance seemed to cause. "I've come home."

She seemed to come out of her daze then, and held out her arms so I could step into them. We embraced each other tightly, and I suddenly felt the hard swell of her stomach pressed against me. "Oh my goodness…" I pulled back to look at her properly, "You're pregnant!"

She nodded, and instinctively placed a hand over her stomach. "Six months." She told me. "But, enough about me. Where have you been for so long? We thought… That is, Erik and I…we thought…"

She trailed off, but her unspoken words hung in the air. _We thought you were dead._ "Nope," I said, "Anxious to break the tension, "As you can see, I'm fine."

She nodded, and Erik suddenly strode through the entranceway behind me. "Izz," he approached his wife and pressed his lips briefly to his forehead. "I see you've heard the news!" He turned to Colonel Sheppard and the others from Atlantis who by now had followed him inside. "These are the people we have to thank for my little sister's return."

Isobel smiled and exchanged introductions with Colonel Sheppard and the others, while I took the chance to wave my fingers at my nephew, Max, who peered out at me from the safety of his mother's skirts. He had grown so much during my absence that I would hardly have recognized him if not for Isobel. The feeling obviously went both ways because a moment later he hid his face from view again. I consoled myself that now I was home, I would have plenty of time to reconnect with Max again later.

"Izz," Erik's voice drew me back to the present, "Would you be so good as to make Sara's companions comfortable while I take the chance to speak with her alone for a bit?"

"Sure," she smiled. "Colonel, if you and your people would like to follow me, I'll see to some refreshments for you all."

"Wait," I stepped forward as Isobel began to lead everyone away. I looked at Ronon. "Will you stay with me while I talk to Erik?" I asked. He seemed surprised by my request, and I instantly felt embarrassed that I had asked. "It's just… you've been with me since almost the beginning," I tried to explain. "A lot of what I need to tell my brother is your story too. I think it's only fair you should be there when I tell it." Okay, so it was a bit cowardly of me, but it was much easier than admitting I just _wanted_ him to be there.

He glanced from me to Erik. "That okay with you?"

Erik shrugged. "Fine by me."

Ronon turned back to me. "If that's what you want," he said, as he came over and stood next to me. Erik led us towards the west wing – and his personal quarters – while Isobel guided the others off in the opposite direction.

"You don't mind?" I whispered to Ronon as we followed Erik down the wide passageway.

He shook his head. "No," he told me, "Someone's gotta make sure you tell the story properly."

I smiled, grateful for his jest. There was a lot that I needed to tell Erik – some of which he would probably find difficult to hear - and I had a feeling it might be a while before I smiled again. A few moments later we approached the ornate wooden door or Erik's study. He pushed it open and stood aside to allow us both to enter. The room was just as I remembered it; dark and cozy with heavy wooden furniture and an open hearth along the right side wall. I walked past the dark red, leather settee and settled myself into one of the matching armchairs. Ronon leaned himself against the window ledge across from me, and it suddenly occurred to me that I still had not learned how he and Erik knew each other.

"When did you two meet?" I asked, my eyes passing from one to the other in question.

They exchanged glances, as if deciding who was best to answer. After a moment, Erik took a seat on the corner of his desk began to speak. "A few weeks back, we located a wraith breeding facility on the world of Trakera," he said. "The men and I were in the process of destroying it when Ronon appeared through the gate and ended up right in the middle of our battle."

I looked at Ronon. "A few weeks ago…" I puzzled, "That can't be right – or I would have been there too. You and I have been travelling together for longer than a few weeks."

"When I left you to find Glapston," he said, "The wraith sent me to the wrong address. The world I entered was heavily populated by his kind. I guess he did not expect me to survive." He glanced at Erik. "I met your brother and his men by mistake…" he paused. "…or maybe luck would be a better way to describe it."

"You never told me that," I frowned.

He shrugged. "Didn't think it was important, at the time."

I stared at him. He had gone to the wrong world and encountered the wraith, and he didn't think it was important enough to mention? Never mind that by some freak chance he had also met my people. I shook my head as I wondered how differently things might have turned out if either he or Erik had realized the connection they shared. "I would like to have decided that for myself," I told him.

"My concern was to deactivate the tracking device in your head," he pushed himself away from the window. "By the time I found you again and saw to that, my meeting with Erik and his men was already in the past."

"Hold on a minute," Erik suddenly interrupted. "What's this about a tracking device?" he looked at me. "How about we start at the beginning so I can keep up?"

I sighed, and forgot about Ronon for a moment as I slowly began to recount for my brother most of what had happened over the last few months. I spared him few details; I knew he would want to hear everything, no matter how hard it might be to listen too. The only things I deemed too personal to talk about was my near rape by the convicts and the intimacy I shared with Ronon. It wasn't so much that I wanted to keep the later a secret from my brother – it was more that I wasn't prepared to answer questions about Ronon and myself just yet. How could I, when we ourselves had never discussed any further than the return of my memory?

"Ronon, Sara said you were a runner for _seven years _before she met you" Erik's voice drew me from my reverie. "That is an amazing feat. Tell me, how did you survive for so long?"

I looked at Ronon, and was surprised to see that he appeared about to reply. I listened with as much interest as Erik – which was quite a lot, if the expression on his face was anything to go by – as he explained a little about his existence as a runner. A lot of men in his position might take pride in what they had come through – some would perhaps even elaborate the experience for impact when talking about it. Ronon did neither. He simply stated the facts as concisely as possible and then finished speaking. I wondered if his brevity was a sign that he didn't like to talk about his experience, or if he was just comfortable enough in his own skin not to feel the need to impress? It was difficult to say, but I suspected it might be a little bit of both. At any rate, he appeared to have shared all he wanted to, and so I finished our story by explaining to Erik how we met Colonel Sheppard and the others from Atlantis while on Sateda.

"And they took you both in," Erik asked, "No matter that you were complete strangers to them?"

"They did," I confirmed. "And not only that, but they also removed the transmitter from my head in an attempt to help me regain my memory."

Erik raised his eyebrows, but I hadn't quite finished talking yet.

"They asked us both to stay on with them permanently," I told him, "And to join their fight against the wraith… but I never truly felt like I belonged there." I turned to look at Ronon. "I guess it was different for you," I said, "with knowing the fate of your people and all." It suddenly hit me how personally I had taken what I saw as his deflection from me towards the people of Atlantis. "I don't blame you for joining them. I would probably have done the same in your position." A wave of relief swept over me as I let my resentment towards him go completely. "I'm sorry I made things so difficult for you," I told him.

He looked at me evenly. "I never saw it that way," he said.

I swallowed, and then pulled my eyes away from him as I remembered Erik was in the room with us. "So," I said, as I tried to lighten the mood again, "Now you know the whole story."

Erik's eyes – so similar in color to mine – stared at me for a moment. It was almost impossible to get anything past him, and I knew my exchange with Ronon had piqued his interest. Surely he would suspect there was something more between us – something that neither of us had mentioned in the recount of our time together? His reply, when it finally came, only left me to wonder.

"Yes," he said, at length. "I believe I do."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Thanks to the two readers who kindly left reviews for my last chapter. I came off my horse last weekend and hit my head, so this chapter has been slow going as I had a lot of trouble concentrating for long periods! I hope it is not filled with more errors than usual!

**Ronon POV**

Erik Thorn proved to be a man of his word. After we rejoined the others, he transported everyone via jeep to the aircraft control tower. Once there, he proceeded to answer as many questions as were asked of him. With McKay doing the asking, this was no easy task. Some of what the man wanted to know seemed extraordinarily complex, and I was content to watch from the sidelines while the finer details were conferred.

"So," Sheppard jumped in as McKay lapsed into a rare moment of silence, "Erik, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the basis of what you have told us. The gate to Tarus has an inbuilt cloaking device that is powered via ZPMs on automatic rotation."

"That is correct," Erik replied. "The rotation device can hold a maximum of eight fully charged ZPMs. If loaded to capacity, the gate can go for up to approximately eight hundred years without being manned. Once the Originals – that is what we call your Ancients, assuming that they are the same race – left, it was many years before the ZPMs wore down enough to expose the gate so it could be found.

"How many of these ZPMs do you actually have?" McKay interrupted.

"There are about 25 in the warehouse," Erik said, "Plus the eight in line to power the gate. Technically, you only need one at a time, but we like to play it safe and have them in place for rotation just incase."

"And you mentioned that you can recharge them once they're used?" McKay asked. The expression on his face could only be described as rapture. I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes.

"Yes, we can recharge six ZPMs at a time," Erik replied, "Although it can take up to a year to get each unit to full power. There is a complex system that runs on light, compression and planetary revolution. If you want it explained in detail, you'll have to talk to Alcide, he's the technical expert."

We had been introduced to Alcide as we entered the tower. He was a tall, lanky young man who I guessed to be aged somewhere in his early twenties. I hoped he was as knowledgeable as Erik seemed to think, or I suspected McKay would tear holes in whatever he might claim to know inside five minutes flat.

"So the gate is cloaked," Sheppard repeated. "But what's to stop the wraith – or anyone else for that matter – from stumbling on this place from the air?"

I turned to Erik. That was exactly the question I would have asked. He deflected the reply to Alcide.

"In layman terms," the young man explained, "The world of Tarus is situated inside a space hole. This hole lies in a nebula and was probably formed by two young stars many years ago." He paused to make sure everybody was following, but before he could continue, McKay jumped in.

"As stars form," he said, "It is common for beams of material to shoot out of their poles. It's likely that one or more of these beams released such a furious torch of energy, that it punched its way into the surrounding nebulosity and created a hole. Tarus was just unlucky – or lucky, depending on which way you look at it – to be in the area that was affected."

Sheppard frowned, "Thank you, Rodney. I think we get the point." He turned back to Alcide who seemed relatively unbothered by the interruption.

"What Doctor McKay says is right," the young man said. "Although I would hasten to add it was likely an extremely fitful star birthing that caused such a deep hole to develop. They are certainly not commonplace in the galaxy."

McKay nodded, and before he could interject, Sheppard cut him off with another question. "So the world is unable to be accessed without use of the gate?"

"It's accessible if you know where to look," Erik said, "But almost impossible to find if you don't. We have travelled both to and from it via _apec _– that's what we call our exploratory aircrafts – but generally we find it more convenient to use the gate."

Sheppard nodded his head in approval. "The perfect hiding place," he said.

"And the perfect place to hunt wraith from," I added.

Teyla smiled at my comment. "General Thorn, your actions against the wraith are commendable," she said, "Especially as it would seem they are not necessary for your own survival. You and your people appear to be perfectly self sufficient and could live out your days in peace. I would ask of you though, why risk everything by going to war against the wraith if you do not need to?"

"Because nobody should have to live in fear." I turned in surprise to see it was Sara who had answered. She stood squarely with her hand rested upon her hip. "We have many friends and trading partners on other worlds. It would not be right for us to live here and not do our best to help protect them. If the wraith are allowed to continue culling entire worlds without resistance, then it is only a matter of time before the Pegasus galaxy becomes almost completely devoid of human life."

I had never seen her so outspoken before, and for a moment the tower room fell silent as everyone stared at her. It appeared the return of her memory had also signaled the return of her purpose. I smiled to myself. Was there no limit to how attractive I could find this woman?

Across the room, Erik grinned at her. "It's good to have you back, little sis," he said.

His amusement seemed to draw Sara's attention to her outspokenness. "Sorry," she smiled at us all in embarrassment, "I guess I got carried away. Erik, can we show the people from Atlantis the warehouse? I'm sure they'd like to take a look around, particularly at the ZPM recharge facility."

Erik nodded. "If everyone has seen enough…?" He pushed himself away from the desk that he leaned on, and as Sheppard nodded his accord, began to lead the way out of the tower room.

McKay exhaled loudly. "That's fine, everybody just up and leave… After all, _I_ had no desire to look closer at all of the Ancient technology. It's not like it could have the potential to benefit us in… oh, I don't know… maybe a gazillion different ways," he complained. Despite his loud manner, nobody appeared to pay attention to his protests, and a moment later he sighed and followed the others out of the room. I noticed that Sara had lingered behind, and I paused to wait for her.

"You coming with us?"

She nodded, and walked towards me. "So," she said, "What do you think?"

The question was broad enough to be taken a number of different ways, and for a moment I wasn't sure how to reply. "Your memory is completely retuned?" I countered.

She smiled. "Yes. I can't believe I actually managed to forget all of this," she gestured with her hands as we left the control tower to follow the others. "Everything is so surreal. It feels like I've just woken up from a really weird dream where things were upside down – and now it suddenly all makes sense again."

I knew she spoke in general terms, but I hoped there were at least some parts of the last few months that still resonated with her. "So, I guess you're Sara…_Thorn _then?"

"Sara Aleka Thorn," she confirmed with a smile. "Age twenty six. Only child of Stanton and Summer Thorn."

I could tell her ability to recall the details of her life pleased her, but something didn't quite add up. _Only child? _"How-"

"Erik is my half brother," she explained. His mother was killed by the wraith when he was an infant. Both of us were raised by my mother."

It was suddenly clearer to me why the man's hatred of the wraith ran so deep. "The wraith came here?"

"No. His mother, Malika, was visiting friends on a neighboring world when a cull took place. My father went after her as soon as he heard the news, but it was already too late. He found Erik hidden in a linen closet, still in his basinet."

We passed through a huge iron doorway into an enormous storage facility. "His mother was a brave woman to hide him like that. It can't have been easy for her, not knowing if he'd be found."

"Malika was many things, most of which my own mother spent her whole life trying to live up to," Sara replied. She held out her hands and gestured around the warehouse in which we now stood. "This is where we keep our supplies."

I nodded. I had no real interest in the stored items – I would rather learn more about her. "Your father remarried?" I prompted.

"He needed someone to help him raise Erik," she replied. "My mother was young and beautiful – and extremely naive. She thought he loved her, and by the time she discovered she was just a substitute for the woman that he lost, she was already pregnant with me." Her tone was flippant, but the tension in her frame told me this was a sensitive subject. "She raised Erik as her own, and was mother to both of us until she died. I was twelve at the time, and Erik fourteen."

I nodded. By now the others had left us behind and disappeared down one of the long aisles. Sara did not appear to be in a hurry to catch up. I rested myself on the edge of a nearby wooden crate, and was pleased when a moment later she joined me. "Erik and I were almost old enough to have lives of our own by the time she died," she continued. "They say it was a virus that killed her, but I've never really believed that. She had no family other than us, and my father was hardly ever around. I think she got sick, and the effort to keep on living was just too much for her." She was silent for a moment, as if lost in her thoughts.

"I'm sorry," I told her.

She shook her head. "It was a long time ago. I'm only telling you this now so you will understand things between Erik and I better." She pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear and looked at me as she spoke again. "Our father was not an unkind man, but he closed a part of himself off after Malika died. His hatred of the wraith became his main motivation, and he was seldom ever at home. When he did pay attention to us, it was to impose on us extremely high expectations. We had to be the best at everything we did – which of course was not always possible. Erik used to stick fight against boys 3 to 4 years older than him. He was also the youngest boy ever to fly solo in our _sparc_ fighters."

I looked at her. "And you?"

"I trained in combat beside Erik. Flying was never my thing, but I hold the record for accuracy at the firing range."

I smiled. "Impressive."

She shook her head. "It was never impressive enough. My mother sheltered us from the worst of it, but when she died, Erik and I really only had each other left to turn to. As a result, he became very protective of me. It was Erik who taught me to stick fight. We would spend hours together in the gymnasium, practicing our moves. He was never short of encouragement or praise for me – although I have no idea how, given that he got very little of either of those things himself."

I shifted position slightly so that I was turned towards her a little more. "You were lucky to have him."

"It would have been much harder without him," she admitted. "I know he came across earlier as being suspicious and over bearing, but he's not a bad person. He's just very protective of me and the people of Tarus."

I nodded, pleased she had confided so much in me. "So you two never disagree then?"

She laughed. "Are you kidding? We've had some _major _arguments. Mostly it's just small stuff that we fight over, but there have been a couple of times where we've really let fly at each other." She shook her head and smiled, "It's funny to look back on now, but trust me, neither of us is nice to be around at the time." Her eyes sparkled with life and she looked so animated that for a moment I could do nothing more than stare at the vision of her. All fair skin, sky blue eyes and long silky hair – she really was stunningly beautiful. "I'm sorry," she said, when a few moments passed and still I had not formulated a response. "You're probably bored of listening to me ramble. We should go and meet up with the others." Before I could protest, she stood up.

"Hey," I reached out and caught her arm to still her. "Just so you know – nothing about you ever bores me."

She smiled, and tried to make light of my comment. "Don't be so sure. I've still got the whole extended family to tell you about yet."

I stood up beside her. "That wasn't how I meant it," I told her.

"I know," she said, her voice soft. Before the moment became awkward, she inclined her head in the direction from which the others voices could be heard. "Come on," she said, "Let's go."

We walked side by side down the aisle until the others came into sight. Erik was speaking as we neared and I picked up a little of what he was saying.

"…about Atlantis, then I look forward to discussing the matter further." He said, and then broke off as Sara and I rejoined them.

I saw Sheppard glance at the watch on his wrist. By now we had been gone from Atlantis for most of the day. "It's getting on," he said "I'll talk things over with my superior tonight. Maybe we could bring her back so she can take a look around for herself?"

Erik nodded. "I would like to meet this Doctor Weir that you speak of. Why don't you return with her tomorrow and stay for a couple of days? We have plenty of room for everyone to sleep. I plan to hold a banquet tomorrow evening to celebrate Sara's safe return – I feel it would be appropriate if you were all to join us."

"Thank you," Sheppard replied. "We'll take that into consideration." He removed the intercom from behind his ear and handed it to Erik. "So we can keep in touch," he said.

Erik took the intercom, and turned as one of his men entered the warehouse. The man was tall and thick set, with a square jaw and dark, spiky hair. The thing that caught my attention about him the most was not so much his appearance though, but that he seemed to stare right at Sara as he approached.

"Marcus." Erik turned to greet him. I noticed that in doing so, he effectively cut Sara from the man's line of sight. It was such a subtle movement that I could not tell if it was deliberate, or done purely by chance. "You're just in time," he continued. "Colonel Sheppard and his friends here are about to need a ride back to the gate on Cynox. Can you take one of the _apecs _and drop them off?"

"Uh…" the mad glanced around Erik to catch sight of Sara again. She stood right next to me, but his eyes never left her face long enough to notice anyone but her. "I was just-"

"They're a bit short for time," Erik pushed. "I'd appreciate it if you took them right away, Colonel."

I looked at Sara. Her gaze was fixed on the man, and the tension between the two of them was impossible to miss. I stood a little straighter and stared at the man until he was forced to acknowledge me. Our eyes met and held. Who was this man – and more importantly – what was he to Sara? He broke my stare only when it became apparent he could ignore Erik's command no longer. "Sure," he said, as he gave Sara one last look. "I'll get right onto it." He turned and gestured for us to follow.

It suddenly dawned on me that we were about to leave. I looked at Sara, but found her eyes were fixed upon the man's retreating back. There was definitely some kind of unfinished business between the two of them. My stomach twisted as I was left to wonder exactly what it might be. I forced myself to leave her side and follow Sheppard and the others as they began to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow," I turned slightly and said over my shoulder.

My voice seemed to bring her out of her trance. "Oh," she said, "…You're leaving?"

I nodded. "We're heading back to Atlantis."

Her eyes darted from me to the others and then back again. "But…you're not leaving for good?" she asked, and her voice rose in pitch as she added, "Are you?"

"I think the plan is for us to come back tomorrow," I told her.

"Oh," she relaxed slightly. I got the impression that she wanted to say something more, but with each passing moment the chance to do so seemed to disappear. The others had almost left the warehouse by now, and if I was to catch them up, I needed to hurry. "Tomorrow then," she finally lamented with an uncertain smile.

I nodded, and then turned and walked away. Part of me hoped she might follow and stop me, but I reached the door of the warehouse unhindered. As I joined the others on the tarmac outside, I realized that after almost three months of knowing Sara, I was about to spend my first night completely separated from her. No matter what way I looked at it, the prospect was not something that I found myself looking forward to.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: **Sorry for the late update. The second half of this chapter did my head in for some reason. Thanks to those who took the time to leave reviews for my last chapter! Incase anyone is wondering, I have about another three chapters left to write.

Footnote that I forgot to add to the last chapter:

_Apec_ – Pronounced 'Aye pec'. All Purpose Exploratory Craft.

**Sara POV**

It was a wonderful feeling to wake up in my own bed again. I savored the experience and snuggled back under the blankets as I looked up at the burgundy canopy above. Everything was exactly the same as before I left, if I closed my eyes, it almost felt like I was never away. I stifled a yawn – I seemed to be constantly tired these days – and wondered what time I came to bed the night before. A lot had happened during my absence, and Erik, Isobel and I had talked abut everything right through into the small hours of the morning. This was the first time since my return where I could relax and just be for a few minutes. I stretched my arms out leisurely beneath the covers and then immediately jerked them back as the cool sheets beside me bit into my bare skin. I shivered. It was a harsh reminder of what I had so far managed to avoid thinking about - that instead of being here beside me, Ronon was thousands of miles away on Atlantis. I curled up under the blankets and tried to go back to sleep, but eventually found myself staring sightlessly at the embers of the open fire opposite my bed instead. At this hour, I knew Erik, Isobel and Max would be eating together in the dining hall. Those back on Atlantis were most probably in the cafeteria, about to do the same thing. I wondered what time they would show up at Tarus today? Eventually, I gave up my attempts to go back to sleep and sat up. My hair – washed the night before – brushed against my bare back as I pushed the blankets aside and got out of bed. I hastily pulled on my underwear, leathers and boots, and then paused as I reached for my jacket. On impulse, I decided today I wanted to wear something else – something _different –_ for a change. I opened my wardrobe and smiled in delight as I instantly recognized the clothes inside. I flicked through the garments on the hangers and paused as I came to a dress that I was yet to wear. It was made especially for my twenty sixth birthday – a date that I had not celebrated due to being captured by the wraith just a week before. I wondered about the dinner party Isobel and Erik planned for me that evening. Did they still gather with my friends to remember me, or was the freshness of my disappearance still too painful for them to talk about? I stroked the dress and the tiny threads of silver woven through the sea green material glinted in the morning light. It would be perfect to wear to the banquet Erik had organized for tonight, and I hung it on the front of the wardrobe door for easy access later. I resumed my search, and a moment later found what I wanted. I pulled the powder blue top on over my head and turned to look at my reflection in the free standing mirror.

"_The color matches your eyes…"_

I pushed the echo of Marcus's words aside. If I shied away from everything that reminded me of him, I would be limited forever in what I did. I looked again at my reflection. The cut of the top was loose and feminine. It exposed the lines of my collar bones but was not cut so low as to hint at my breasts. It pulled in at the waist and finished an inch below the belt of my leather pants. Nice-looking, but casual – it was the perfect thing to wear when I saw Ronon today. My heart skipped as I caught myself thinking about him again. I picked up my brush from where it rested on the duchess and gave my hair a quick comb through before I left the room.

I was surprised to find Erik eating alone in the dining hall when I entered. He looked up as he saw me. "Morning," he said. "Did you sleep well?"

I smiled. "Absolutely," I told him. "Where's Isobel?"

"Max isn't well," he explained, "It's nothing serious, but she was up with him during the night so I left her to sleep late."

"Oh," I said. "I hope he's okay. It was good to catch up with Isobel last night."

"You'll get plenty of time to talk to her again," he assured me, "Unless you have plans to run off somewhere in a hurry?"

I shook my head. What exactly was that supposed to mean? The aroma of bacon and eggs wafted from his plate, and I knew all I had to do was ring for one of the kitchen staff and they would make me whatever I felt like for breakfast. The problem was, I suddenly realized I didn't feel much like eating any more.

"You alright?" Erik's voice drew me from my thoughts.

"Hmm," I nodded, "I guess I'm just not very hungry this morning."

He snorted with amusement. "Never thought I'd see the day _you_ didn't want breakfast."

"The wraith kept me on the move for so long that I got used to not eating much," I told him. "Big meals don't seem to sit well with me any more."

He indicated towards the fresh loaf of bread that sat in the middle of the table. "Try a piece," he passed me a plate and a knife to cut with.

The bread did smell lovely, so I carved off a slice and spread it with butter. Erik's blue eyes watched me from across the table. "You look nice today," he said after a moment.

Why did I have the feeling there was a loaded meaning to his words? "Thanks," I said.

He finished his mouthful and rested his fork back on the plate. "I assume you didn't go to the trouble on my account though."

My heart sank. I had a good idea of where the conversation was about to head, and I knew I needed to assert myself before he started in. "Look," I met his eyes squarely, "I know you get a kick out of the whole 'big brother' routine, but really, I'm old enough to make my own decisions about who I see."

He sucked the air in through his teeth. "No need to get defensive," he said, "I was only commenting."

"I know," I told him, "But you always feel the need to give me your opinion, and sometimes it makes things uncomfortable for me. Take Marcus for example…I know you never liked him."

"I liked Marcus well enough," he replied, "In fact, I still do. He's a good pilot and runs a tight operation. I just never thought he was right for you."

"See, that's my point," I said. I really didn't want to get into an argument about Marcus with him – not when it was clearly not Marcus who we were primarily fighting about. "I suppose you've already made a list of Ronon's attributes, I said. "Tell me, does he meet your standards?" It was the first time I'd actually said his name, and Erik was silent for a moment.

"To tell you the truth, I'm still deciding."

I rolled my eyes. "Why, _thank you_ for being so considerate. Please be sure to tell me when I have your approval to proceed."

He laughed. "You're being melodramatic."

"Please. Is it too much to ask that you don't give him the once over when he arrives today?" I asked.

"Why? Are you afraid I might scare him away?" His eyes sparkled at the possibility.

It annoyed me no end that he found this so amusing, but his response gave me my own cause to smile. "Not a chance," I told him. "In fact, if you two were to go head to head, I'd be tempted to put my money on Ronon."

Erik stared at me in surprise, and then he laughed out loud. "Really?" His grin grew wider. "Now I _am_ intrigued."

My amusement faded as it suddenly dawned on me that just because I wanted to see Ronon again, I really had no idea if he felt the same way about me. "Look," I said to Erik, "I think you're probably getting ahead of yourself anyway. Ronon and I came together because of our circumstances – there are no promises between us. Neither of us has ever discussed anything further than the return of my memory."

Erik's smile fell, and he looked at me for a moment. It appeared he was struggling with something he wanted to say. When he finally spoke, he caught me off guard completely. "He's more committed to you than you know," he said.

"What?" My mouth fell open in surprise. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He pushed his plate aside and rested his elbow on the table. "The first time I met Ronon – back on Trakera – I don't think you know this, but we ended up fighting side by side. I had no idea who he was at the time, but he fought like the devil, and he was brave – fearless, in fact – despite being surrounded by both the wraith and a number of my men."

I had seen Ronon in action enough to know how he fought, and what he was capable of. "I don't see what this had got to do with me," I said.

"Later, when the wraith were defeated, I found out his home world had been destroyed and that he was travelling alone. I could tell by the way he looked at our operations that he had military experience. I took a chance, and offered him the chance to join us."

I was stunned. My super secretive, mistrustful brother had asked a complete stranger back to Tarus? The fact that the stranger was Ronon, left me completely gob smacked. "But… how did you know you could trust him?"

"It was just a feeling I had," he said, and then he smiled as he added, "Of course, I'd have put him in the cargo hold so he wouldn't have known where we were taking him."

"Of course," I returned his smile. So, what happened?"

Erik gave me a long look. "I knew my offer tempted him, so I was disappointed when he turned me down flat." His eyes were on my face as he continued. "He said something about a promise, and that he needed the gate address for Glapston."

My eyes fell to the table between us. Ronon had turned down the opportunity to go with my brother, because of me?

"So you see," Erik continued, "Despite what you might believe, I don't doubt the man's integrity, nor do I doubt his ability to keep you safe." He looked at me to make sure I was listening, "If I'm honest, I even kind of like the guy – as little as I know him."

I gave a small laugh, not sure that I had heard him right. "So, why are you telling me all of this?" I asked.

His expression became serious. "Because there is one problem that I _do_ have with him." He ran his hand through his long hair before he continued. "He has the potential to take you away from me again."

I sighed as everything finally made sense. Erik was worried I might leave Tarus – and by extension, him – to be with Ronon. I reached out and placed my hand over his wrist. As much as I wanted to allay his fears, deep down I knew that I already missed Ronon more than I could have imagined. I wasn't sure if I could abandon my home world to be with him, but I didn't want to make a promise to my brother that I might not be able to keep. "Erik," I said, "I…I honestly haven't thought that far ahead."

His blue eyes met mine. "But you are in love with him, aren't you." It was a statement rather than a question.

I looked away. It was only now my amnesia was gone that I realized how much I had used it to avoid having to answer questions like this – even from myself. So long as there was a _'when my memory returns', _or an _'if my home world is found,"_ in my future, then I had the freedom to live for each day only. Erik looked at me, and I saw the worry in his eyes. "I know I love _you,"_ I told him. He smiled a little, and I continued. "And as for Ronon – well, he's coming here today and… and all I can tell you is that I'm looking forward to seeing him."

He turned his wrist and captured my hand to squeeze it gently. "Then I promise I'll be on my best behavior," he said.

**Ronon POV**

I saw Sara almost as soon as I disembarked from the jumper. She stood with her brother on the tarmac, and as our group cleared the landing space they moved towards us. I met her eyes but hung back from speaking to her while she introduced Weir and Beckett to her brother. When she was free, I wandered over.

"Hey," I said. She met my gaze, and I couldn't seem to stop the smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth.

She returned my smile through lowered lashes. "Hi."

I felt a rush of desire sweep through me – so strong that it caught me off guard. The need to make some kind of physical contact with her was almost overpowering. I assailed it by resting my hand on her shoulder briefly. "It's good to see you," I told her.

She held my gaze. "You too."

I let go of her shoulder and we lapsed into a brief silence. Now that our initial greeting was over, I felt awkward about what to say to her. I really had no idea of where I stood with her – and this was certainly not the time or place to try and find out. As if to emphasize the point that we were not alone, Beckett came over to talk to Sara.

"Sara," he beamed," I didn't get a chance earlier to tell you how happy I am your memory has returned." He touched her arm affectionately, and she smiled at him in much the same way as she had just smiled at me. I wasn't sure what to make of her response. Did that mean she saw me in the same light as Beckett? I watched their exchange in silence, and then again as McKay joined the conversation. Somehow, I had not realized how popular Sara was with the Atlantis team. McKay waved his fingers at her and his eyes dropped downwards a little as he gave her a self conscious kind of once-over. 'You look…nice," he said.

"Thank you, Rodney," she returned his compliment with genuine warmth in her voice. I grit my teeth to avoid connecting my elbow to the man's ribs. McKay was all good and well, but not when he turned his sights on Sara. I was so distracted that for a moment I did not realize Sheppard and the others had joined us. Erik stood to my right and he turned towards me.

"Ronon," He extended his hand and we shook briefly. "Welcome back." I inclined my head towards him, but otherwise remained silent. I was still getting my mind around the fact that as well as being the man I met on Trakera, he was also Sara's brother. He started to talk to Sheppard, and I folded my arms across my chest as I listened.

"I want to take you all for a quick flight in one of our apecs," he said. "That way you can get a feel for Tarus, and her size and layout. The problem is I can only take five up at a time so a couple of you are going to need to sit out."

"I don't need to go," Sara immediately volunteered. "It's not like I haven't seen everything before. I'd rather someone from Atlantis went in my place."

I did a mental calculation. Sheppard, Teyla, McKay, Weir, Becket…and Erik to pilot. That made six. "I don't mind stayin'," I offered.

Sara nodded her approval. "You guys go on," she told them, "I can take Ronon up to the lookout. The view there is almost as good as from the air."

My pleasure at her proposal was cut short by the sound of McKay's voice.

"A lookout, did you say?" He turned to Sara. "I need somewhere open and high up so I can run a few altitude related tests. I could pass on the flight and come with you?"

"Um…" Sara stammered. Was it my imagination, or did she seem as disappointed about the prospect of McKay joining us as I was?

Sheppard cleared his throat. "The ship seats six, Rodney," he said. "There's plenty of room for you. I'm sure they'll be a chance to run those tests later."

"But-"

He gave him a pointed look, and I suddenly realized what he was trying to do. It took McKay a number of minutes more before he came to the same conclusion. "Oh," he looked from Sara to me, and then back again. "Uh…okay then," he stammered, "I guess I'll just go along for the ride after all."

I inclined my head towards Sheppard a fraction in acknowledgement. "See you both later," he said, as he turned and followed the others to where Erik had already started up one of the _apecs_. I stood beside Sara and watched until the ship left and we were left alone together on the tarmac.

"So," she turned to me, "Do you want to take a walk up to the lookout, or would you rather do something else?"

I was tempted to ask what 'something else' might entail, but decided it might be too forward, given the circumstances. As long as I got to spend time with her, I really didn't care what we were doing anyway. 'I don't mind the walk," I told her.

"Great," she led off and I followed beside her. "How did it go at Atlantis last night?' she asked. "Was Doctor Weir interested in what the Colonel had to tell her about Tarus?"

"They called a meeting about it when we got back," I confirmed. What I neglected to mention was that although I attended, I could recall little of what was discussed at it. It was difficult to get excited over ZPMs when Sara's empty chair was a constant reminder that she was no longer there with us. Still, the mood in the room had generally been one of excitement, and I passed this on to her now. "Weir seemed pretty keen about the place," I told her. "She was eager to come for a look around today."

We followed a gravel path that sloped up the side of a hill. The sunlight faded a little as the high foliage on either side of the track formed a canopy above us. "And you're all staying the night?" Sara asked.

"Uh huh."

She smiled. "I'm glad. Everyone at Atlantis was so good to me. I hope there is something here that will benefit them in return."

_Everyone at Atlantis was so good to me._ She didn't seem to notice her use of past-tense. I got the uneasy feeling that she had already put Atlantis behind her and – however sub consciously – begun to move on again with her own people.

"Are you okay?" She turned her head to look at me. "You've gone quiet all of a sudden."

I nodded. "I was thinking about McKay," I lied. "I don't think he would have appreciated the climb."

She laughed. "I don't think so either."

The path continued to increase in gradient and as it became increasingly difficult for us to talk comfortably, we lapsed into silence. Eventually we came to the top of the hill and stepped back out into the sun in the middle of a clearing. A long, stone wall curved outwards in a gentle arc from the hillside, and Sara led the way towards it.

"Here we are," she said, as I stood next to her and looked out on the view below. My first real look at Tarus was a surprise. After the ancient technology of the control tower and surrounding buildings, I expected to see similar designs throughout the rest of the township. Instead, most of the buildings below were simple dwellings, made of brick or stone. The roads appeared to be cobbled, and if I looked closely I could just distinguish a horse and cart travelling slowly along one of them.

"Not quite what you expected?" Sara asked, and I realized my face must have shown my surprise.

"It's hard to believe it's the same place," I told her. "Seeing how your brother and his men operate, I expected it to be more… industrialized."

She smiled. "I thought that might be your impression. Despite what you have seen until now, the majority of the Tarusian people are farmers or produce growers."

The neat lines of fruit trees that stretched out behind the rows of houses seemed to indicate as much. "This the whole place?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. There is another small settlement just to the East," I followed the direction of her hand, "A number of houses are situated on farmland there, although you can't see them where we're standing."

I nodded. The scene before me was a reflection of how the whole galaxy could might live, if not for the presence of the wraith. "It all seems kind of…peaceful," I said.

"It is," she agreed. "Which is why I try to never let myself forget how lucky I am to be here." She was silent for a moment, and then she pointed towards the largest of the stone buildings below. "That's our hospital," she said, "And across from it is the market and bakery."

"Your people do all of this, and still find time to fight the wraith?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Only a small percentage of us have any interest in seeking out the wraith. Most of our people are peace-loving, and are content to live out their lives here in safety."

Suddenly her impassioned speech of the day before seemed to have more meaning. "You don't agree with them?"

"It's hard to say," she replied. "It's their lives, and I believe the choice to fight or not should be their own. A lot of what they harvest is donated to neighboring worlds, so I guess they help in their own way."

"What does your brother think?"

"Erik would love to have everyone join our fight, but he doesn't force his opinion on our people. His theory is that he'd rather have a few men behind him who are dedicated, than a large number who would rather be somewhere else."

"Makes sense," I replied.

She turned to face me, and leaned herself against the rock wall. "We could recruit people from other worlds to fight with us, but then we would be obliged to take their families and friends as well. If word got out, it could put the safety of our entire world at risk." She looked at me. "Which is why I am so surprised to learn that Erik offered you a position here with us."

Her tone indicated she was disappointed I had not told her the news of this myself, but yesterday there was no time to tell her. "He did," I confirmed.

"And you… were tempted by his proposal?"

I looked at her. "I was," I admitted, "But it would have meant leaving you alone. That wasn't something I was prepared to do." I studied her face for any indication of what she was thinking, but it was impossible to tell. "So I turned him down…" I told her. "…And I've never regretted my decision." It was as close as I could come to telling her how I felt about her, and the words seemed to hang in the air long after I said them.

She held my stare, and pushed herself away from the wall so that she stood right in front of me. I watched her guardedly. Did she have any idea of what she did to me? She looked up and our eyes met.

"Ronon…" her voice trailed off, and she reached out and touched her fingertips to my chest. "When you left that day – to find help for me – I expected to never see you again. You were my only connection with the world and it was hard to watch you leave…" Her fingers curled slightly against my chest. "But yesterday, when you left to go back to Atlantis, it was so much harder again."

My chest seemed to expand, but at the same time there was little air left inside it. I lowered my head towards her a fraction. "You didn't try to stop me," I said, my voice low.

"I wasn't sure that was what you wanted." She held my gaze, her blue eyes soft and her lips temptingly close to my own. I breathed her in, oblivious to everything else around me. This was real – perhaps the most real moment we had shared to date. Before I could think, I closed my eyes, and slowly bought my lips to hers. Her mouth was soft and warm beneath mine, and right away I was lost. She drew me in, her kiss a gentle caress that stirred and intensified the ache inside me. I reached for her, and she responded by pressing herself to me, pliant and willing – her every move a silent confirmation that the feelings I had for her were not just mine alone. The kiss deepened. It seemed an age since I had last held her, and the feel and taste of her was an erotic intoxication. The tenderness I felt towards her slowly blended so that it became one with arousal. With an effort, I released her mouth and drew back to look at her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she pressed her hand to her chest as she drew in a deep, ragged breath.

"Wow," she exhaled and reached out to steady herself against me. "That was…" words failed her, and she laughed and shook her head.

I grinned. "Uh huh," I agreed, and the tension between us disappeared. I took a moment to reflect, and then reached for her hand and guided her towards the rock wall. The top was wide, and flat enough to sit on, so I climbed up and encouraged her to join me. We sat down together, she with her knees dangling off the wall, and me behind her, my legs on either side so that she could lean back into my chest.

"Tell me more about Tarus," I said, as I braced myself on one arm and reached around to hold her with the other.

She settled into me, and then lifted her hand towards a small building that stood on the outskirts of the township below. "That's were Erik and I went to school," she said. "And over there, beside the lake… that's where Aunt Maree lives."

"The house with the yellow roof?" I asked.

She nodded. "Maree is my father's younger sister. They had a brother, Jonathon, who was the eldest of the three, but he drowned in the lake when he was just a boy."

I stroked the skin on her forearm with my fingertips. "You got any other relatives?"

She nodded. "Maree is married to David Rakin, and they have three children. Anya and Rio are identical twins and about the same age as me. They're exceptionally beautiful, with blue eyes, fair complexions and the long blond hair that is characteristic to the Thorn family – trust me, if you see them once, you won't forget them. They also have a younger brother, Troy." She turned slightly to look at me, "You probably saw him yesterday when he flew us into Tarus. He's also tall with blond hair, and he looks a bit like a younger version of Erik."

"I remember," I told her.

"Troy is Erik's second in command," she explained. "Of all his men, it's Troy who he trusts the most." She was silent for a moment. "There are a few other partners and children, but I won't bore you with the details. You'll probably get to meet most of them tonight anyway."

I nodded. It was strange to think of her being part of such a big family. After so much time spent alone, I knew how important this was to her, and I squeezed her hand in silent support. We lapsed into silence for a moment, and when she spoke again, she took me by surprise.

"Talking about my family makes me realize how hard it must be for you… having nobody from your own world to talk to," she said.

For a moment, I wasn't sure what to say. "Sometimes," I admitted.

"You never mention anything about Sateda, or any of the people who were important to you there."

I looked out towards the horizon. "Talking about them won't bring them back," I said.

"No," she agreed, "But it would help to keep them alive in your memory."

I lowered my eyes so I was looking at the top of her head.

"You once told me there was a woman who you cared for. If you ever feel like you need to talk about her, I would… Well… I would listen." She was silent for a moment. "I have to admit, ever since you told me about her, I've always been curious about her name."

We lapsed back into silence. It felt odd to sit here with another woman in my arms and think about Melena. I realized I had not thought about her as much since I met Sara and the people at Atlantis. That did not mean my memory of her was any less vivid, but I had definitely begun to move on from her loss more than I thought. I let go of Sara's hand and stroked her forearm with my fingertips. "Melena," I said. "That was her name."

She nodded, and I got the impression she was waiting for me to say something more. When I did not, she turned slightly. "She was your wife?"

"Not in the legal sense," I told her. "But we were…committed, all the same."

"She must have meant a great deal to you." Her voice was soft, and filled with genuine concern.

"She did," I told her.

She turned a little more, and I could see her face. "I'm sorry...for what happened."

I shifted a little and brought my other hand around from behind me. In order to both reassure her and to end the conversation, I tilted her chin and briefly pressed my lips to hers. She sighed when I released her, and we sat together on the wall in comfortable silence for a short time. Eventually, a low rumble began to build overhead, that Sara sat up and looked around. "That's Erik and the others," she said, a moment before the _apec_ burst into view overhead. She extended her arm in a wave, and then grinned as the ship dipped its wings in acknowledgement.

"He's seen us," she said as she turned towards me. "They'll be going back to base. If we're quick we'll be able to catch them there."

I swung my legs off the wall and she jumped down to the ground behind me. Any trace of awkwardness between us was long gone by now, and we walked back down the hill together to join the others. We found Sheppard, Teyla and Erik waiting for us on the edge of the landing strip.

"Hey, buddy," Sheppard said when I got close enough to hear him. "Erik's taking Teyla and me down to the firing range. I told him to hold up incase you and Sara wanted to join us?"

I grinned. "You bet." My eyes fell to Sara.

"I promised Isobel I'd help her with the preparations for tonight," she said. I could tell she was disappointed she couldn't come with us, but she did her best to cover it. "You guys go ahead and have fun though."

I didn't really want to leave her, but the prospect of going to the range with Sheppard and the others was something I didn't want to miss. I reached out and placed my hand on her arm. "I'll see you later?"

She nodded, and surprised me by stepping closer and slipping her arms around my waist to give me a quick hug. "Bye," she said, and then raised her hand to the others before she turned and left. I watched her go. Although it appeared she returned my feelings for her to some degree, I could not help but wonder exactly where that left us now. In order for us to be together, one of us was going to have to make a significant sacrifice. Would she leave Tarus and come back with me to Atlantis? If I was to be honest, then that was my hope – but if not, could I bring myself to leave Atlantis and stay here with her? I frowned as I realized there was one more thing that I wanted to know too. Who exactly was Marcus? And why did his presence have such an effect on her?

"Hey," Sheppard cuffed me on the arm. "You gonna snap out of it, or are we gonna stand here all day?"

Caught out, I turned to him and grinned. "Don't see why you're in such a hurry. You know I'm gonna kick your ass when we get there."

He laughed. "See, now, that's more like it." He turned to Erik. "Wait 'til you see this guy in action. He's dynamite with any kind of weapon you throw in his direction."

Erik turned his blue eyes on me. "Sara implied the same thing," he said, and then smiled a little as he added, "but given the circumstances, I thought her opinion might be a little one-sided."

It was the first time he had made any kind of acknowledgement of the connection between Sara and I, and I looked at him closely. It was impossible to read what he was thinking, so I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess we'll find out," I said.

"I look forward to it," he replied, his expression carefully neutral. It was an improvement on his veiled antagonism of yesterday, but I still got the feeling he was wary of my intentions concerning Sara. He indicated the direction we needed to go, and I fell into step beside him, with Teyla and Sheppard following behind. Erik's possessiveness over his sister was not something that particularly bothered me – it was even something I could understand to a degree – but that didn't mean I had any intention of letting him push me around. If he pushed too far, then I would push back. I shot a sideways look at him as we walked. If it came to it, I suspected that Erik Thorn would make a worthy opponent.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: **Thanks so much for the reviews for my last chapter! It surprises me how many of you are still adding me to your alert list and following in stealth mode! I hope this chapter is not too long-winded. It snowed here all day so I got to spend plenty of time in front of the computer. No M rating for this chapter – but you can count on it for the next one.

**Ronon POV**

I emptied the last drops of ale from my mug and placed it on the wooden table between Sheppard and I. "That was great," I smiled with satisfaction. Before he could reply, a young woman with a tray of replacement drinks appeared at my side.

"Can I get you another?" she indicated towards my empty mug.

I raised my eyebrows and reached to relieve her of the glass closest. "Thanks."

Sheppard drained the remnants from his own cup and reached for another as well.

"You know," he grinned as the woman walked away, "I'm really beginning to like this place."

I laughed, and raised my full cup towards him. "What's not to like?" We were in the main hall of Thornby, both of us showered and changed after our afternoon at the range. The fireplace at the top of the hall roared to capacity, and the other tables around us were beginning to fill with people. I looked for Sara or anyone else from Atlantis but could not see them close by. "Wonder what's keeping the others?" I said.

Sheppard shrugged, and the wonderful aroma of roast pig wafted in our direction. "If I know McKay, he'll be here before dinner is served." He leaned back on the wooden bench seat. "Those guns you used today…where exactly did you say you had seen one before again?

I realized he was referring to the pair of _Vesper_ semi-automatics that Erik had produced. "I was doing a scout mission with the Satedan army a few years back," I told him. "There was a breakaway group of renegades who were terrorizing a small village, and the people there called on us to help. Turns out the defectors were using _vespers_ as their primary weapons."

"Do you think they were responsible for their design?" Sheppard asked.

"No idea," I replied. "But once we dealt to them, we took their weapons back to Sateda with us. That's how I got to use them before today."

Sheppard grinned. "You took General Thorn by surprise. Somehow I don't think he expected you to have seen one before, let alone know how to handle it..." He trailed off as he looked over my shoulder. A moment later he let out a low whistle of appreciation. "Hey, buddy…" he caught my eye and then indicated behind me, "take a look at _that."_

I turned and followed his line of sight, but even without it to use as a guide it would have been difficult for me to miss the young woman who had just entered the room. She was tall and slim, with long fair hair that hung to below her waist. Her strapless blue dress hugged her body in such a way that ours were not the only male heads in the room she had turned. I grinned as I suddenly remembered something Sara had said to me earlier. "If I've got this right," I said to Sheppard, "I think you'll find she has a twin sister."

"There's two of them?" his face was a combination of pained pleasure as he swallowed his mouthful of ale.

I laughed. By now we were both almost at the bottom of our second mugs, and I felt relaxed enough to add something that I might otherwise not have. "What's with checking her out anyway? I thought you were looking a little bit…closer to home?"

He looked at me, and his face became a little less animated. "You mean Teyla?" he asked.

I nodded. "I kind of thought there was something goin' on between you two?"

He pursed his lips, a gesture that made him look oddly wistful. "Maybe…" he shrugged, "But I can't see it happening."

I raised my eyebrows, my interest aroused. "Why not? You seem keen – and I kind of get the vibe that she is too?"

He shook his head. "Trust me, we're better off as friends." He took another sip of ale and replaced his mug on the table. "Looks like things are going well for you with Sara though," he changed the subject. "You two appeared pretty cozy on the hilltop today."

I grinned – an automatic reaction whenever anyone said her name these days – and Sheppard laughed. "It's good to have you back," he told me. "After your long face at Atlantis last night, I was beginning to think I'd never see you smile again."

I shook my head. "It was a long day," I told him. "I was just tired."

"Sure you were," he drawled. His expression grew slightly more serious as he looked at me. "I've always thought you and Sara were kind of a package deal," he said. "I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind that I might be on the verge of losing both of you to Tarus." He paused and then added, "I think the General has considered the other possibility too – that you might take his sister back to Atlantis."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?" Suddenly I felt like I was seeing Sara's brother from a different perspective. "You think he's worried that's going to happen?"

He laughed. "The guy watches you like a hawk. I don't think he's going to be keen to see her leave home again in a hurry."

I finished my second ale and rested my arms on the table. "It's not something Sara or I have talked about," I admitted. "Anyway, I made a promise to you and Atlantis – and to be honest, I don't feel much like breaking it."

We were quite for a moment, and the woman from earlier returned and placed a fresh jug and a couple of glasses on the table between us. "It's getting busier now," she explained, "That should hold you both for a while."

She left again, and I watched Sheppard absently tap his fingers on the side of his empty mug. "I don't think I've told you this before," he said, "But I was married once."

I stared at him. This was definitely news to me. "What happened?" I asked.

"Agh, it was a lot of things…" he waved his hand, "…most of which were my fault."

I leaned over and refilled both our glasses as I waited for him to continue.

"I was hardly ever around," he admitted. "My work takes up a lot of time, and I guess I put more effort into that than I did our relationship. To cut a long story short, in the end she called it quits and left me."

I looked at him. "You have regrets?"

"It is what it is," he shrugged his shoulders. "The point I'm trying to make, is that relationships are apparently a team effort – if one of you is not prepared to give, then it doesn't work." He paused and took another sip of ale. "I'd hate for you to miss out on your chance with Sara, just because of a promise you made to me," he said.

I stared at him. As far as meaningful conversations went, this one would have to rank pretty high on the list. He seemed to realize it too, because suddenly he smiled and relaxed again. "Now do you see why I think Teyla and I are better off as friends?"

I smiled. Although he made light of the matter, I got the feeling that he still carried a lot of weight from his failed relationship around with him. We were spared any further conversation as Weir and the others came over to join us.

"Hey," Sheppard smiled. "What took you guys so long? Ronon and I have almost drunk the bar dry waiting."

"I'm sure neither of you found that to be a particular hardship," Weir smiled. She and Teyla took a seat on the bench to my left, while McKay and Beckett sat down beside Sheppard.

"How'd it go in the tower today?" Sheppard asked as he poured a round of drinks.

"This place is fantastic," McKay replied straight away. 'The technology here is limitless. _Limitless,_ I tell you." His face glowed with enthusiasm as he addressed the whole table. "And nobody here seems to have – or has even heard of – the ATA gene! I've been able to activate things in the control tower today that haven't been used in centuries."

Sheppard grinned. "I take it you mean you had a productive day then?"

"Productive_?_ McKay echoed. _"Prolific_ would better describe it. I tell you, we need to establish ties with these people as soon as possible. Not only have they got enough ZPMs _in excess_ to power the whole of Atlantis, but there's an energy force in the control tower the likes of which I've never encountered before."

"You have any idea what it's for?" Sheppard asked.

"Not yet," McKay admitted. "But give me another couple of days and I think I'll have it worked out."

Sheppard rested his elbow on the table. "It seems pretty obvious we could benefit from what these people have to offer," he said, and then looked at Weir. "But in order to negotiate, we need to have something to trade with in return. The problem I can see, is do we have anything that they need?"

The question silenced the table. As far as worlds went, Tarus was entirely self sufficient. Their technology and weaponry was equal – if not better – to that of our own, and they certainly did not appear to lack either medical supplies or produce.

Beckett cleared his throat, "It seems like Rodney here has effectively demonstrated the benefits of the ATA gene today. Maybe we could look at telling them about the retroviral gene therapy treatment?"

Weir pursed her lips. "It's a good idea, Carson, but once we give the gene, we can't take it back again. If things between us and them don't work out, it could cause problems in the future. There's also the chance it could cause different side effects when transferred to humans other than those from earth."

"It's definitely something to consider though," Sheppard agreed, "But if anyone else has a suggestion, then right now I'm happy to listen."

I leaned forward in my seat as idea came to me. "The people in command here want to bring destruction to the wraith," I told them, "But other than the odd stealth attack, their numbers are too few to make any real difference. If you could arrange a team of trained personal to work under their command, I think they'd be open to listening."

There were a few raised eyebrows at the table, but both Weir and Sheppard appeared thoughtful. "I'd have to talk it over with Stargate Command," Weir said, "But it's possible it could be arranged. We could bring in some recruitments from Earth."

"It would be great experience for some of our SAS guys," Sheppard said. He broke off as General Thorn and his wife approached the table. The subject was dropped for the moment as greetings were exchanged and they took seats at the end of the table. A short time later they were joined by Troy, Alcide and a young woman with short dark hair who I did not recognize. I looked around the hall to see if I could locate Sara. By now I estimated the room held almost four hundred guests. I scanned the crowd, but when I couldn't see her, I eventually gave up and returned to the conversation at the table around me. Hopefully, when she was ready she would come and find me.

**Sara POV**

I sat at my vanity table dressed in my robe and black lace briefs. Due to the preparations for this evening taking longer than I had anticipated, I was already late to join the others. I pinned the final strand of my hair into place and twisted my neck to check my work. The style pulled the hair away from my face, but the length of it still hung long and loose down my back. Satisfied with the effect, I applied a small amount of make up to my eyes and cheeks. Although it was only the slightest touch, I had not worn any for so long that the impact of it was quite dramatic. I smiled at my reflection as I clipped on my silver ear rings and matching necklace. My dress still hung on the wardrobe door next to me, and I slipped out of my robe and reached for it. The silk lining was cool against my skin as I stepped into it and eased it up the length of my body. When it was in position, I reached behind and worked the zip up. To my surprise, I found the bodice was tighter than when I last tried it on. This was odd, because if anything I thought I was slimmer now than before my ordeal with the wraith. A peculiar feeling came over me, and I did my best to ignore the twinge of foreboding that settled in the pit of my stomach. If I didn't get a move on, then the evening would be over before I even got there. I stood up and stepped into my silver high heeled sandals as I quickly fled from the room.

The hall was packed to capacity when I entered. I located the table that Ronon and the others sat at without any trouble, but reaching it was another problem all together. It seemed that every person I passed had something they wanted to say to me, and by the time I finally got to where I wanted to be another twenty or so minutes had passed.

Ronon sat on the end of one of the form benches with his back facing to me. He looked around as I approached and everything else around me faded into the background as our eyes met and held. The spell broke as he stood up to greet me. "Hey," he looked me up and down appreciatively, "You look incredible."

Dressed in his dark brown leather coat and black chaps, he didn't look so bad himself. He held out his hand and I took it and let him guide me down onto the seat beside him. I greeted the others at the table with a smile and general wave, and saw that as well as my brother and Troy, Alcide and his wife, Kadria also sat with the group from Atlantis. Kadria was a couple of years younger than me, but she and I were friends of over twenty years. Although she stopped by the house last night to see me, I was yet to tell her much about Ronon. Now that things had progressed, I looked forward to the moment when I would get a chance to confide in her. I saw her shoot a glance at him sitting next to me, no doubt curious about the way he had greeted me, and I gave her a smile. _Later,_ I mouthed. She gave a subtle lift of her eyebrows and then nodded her acceptance.

I turned back to Ronon just in time to prevent him from pouring me a glass of wine. Both Teyla and Doctor Weir allowed him to refill their glasses, but I accepted a flute of orange juice from a passing waiter instead. As I bought the glass to my lips, Erik got to his feet and called everybody to attention. He proceeded to give a brief speech about my safe return, and then he gave credit to both the team at Atlantis and Ronon by name for the part they had played. I laid my hand gently on Ronon's knee beneath the table and smiled at him as he met my eyes in acknowledgement. Erik suddenly finished talking, and indicated for me to stand. I did as he suggested, and as I told everyone how happy I was to be home, they surprised me by breaking into a round of loud applause. I smiled and sat back down, giddy with the pleasure of being home.

"It sounds like they're glad to have you back," Ronon lifted his eyebrow as he leaned towards me.

I smiled. "It's good to _be_ back," I told him. Being this close to him again was intoxicating, and I struggled to find something neutral to say. "Anyway, how did things go at the range this afternoon?"

"Good," he replied with usual directness, "Although Shep there might disagree," he grinned as he looked across the table and caught the Colonel's eye. "You want to tell Sara your accuracy score this afternoon?" he teased.

"Hey, I had an off-day," the Colonel replied. His tone was light as he added, "Just you watch out for me the next time."

Ronon laughed, as did Teyla who sat next to him. "The men decided it would be a good idea to turn the afternoon into a competition," she leaned over to explain. "I did not partake, and I suspect now that John way wish he had chosen to do the same."

"Hey…" the colonel drawled from across the table, "Easy on there, you're gonna hurt my feelings."

I laughed. I could tell by the banter between the three that the competition had been good natured. I leaned to one side to allow a platter of food to be placed upon the table in front of me. "Are you going to tell me who won?" I asked them.

The Colonel looked at Ronon, and he in turn looked at Teyla. "Your brother is very skilled," she said. "After many, many rounds, he and Ronon drew with scores of 96 percent."

I raised my eyebrows, "How many rounds did they fire?"

"Ten," she replied, and then added, "Per weapon."

I shook my head. Erik was a weapons fanatic. He had an extensive collection of them stored at the firing range. Surely they hadn't fired them _all?_

"In my defense," Colonel Sheppard said as he looked at me, "I was keeping up with the pace well enough until your brother produced those _vespers _of his."

Ronon and Teyla laughed again and I could do nothing more than shrug and give the Colonel a sympathetic smile. The conversation lulled as more food was dispatched to our table and we prepared to eat. My reluctance to have anything for breakfast this morning seemed to have disappeared and I discovered with relief that my appetite had now returned. I filled up my plate, and joined in the conversation around me as I ate. The food was good, and as the evening progressed it appeared that it was not the only thing that was being consumed in abundance. The voices and laughter of the others in the hall rose steadily in relation to the large amounts of alcohol that were being served. I looked along the table and noticed that Rodney and Alcide seemed to be talking up a storm, while both Teyla and Doctor Weir appeared decidedly rosy in the cheeks. I couldn't help but smile. It was like seeing a completely different side to the people who I had come to know. Although I suspected Ronon had also consumed more than his fair share, he didn't seem to be showing the effects as noticeably as some. About the only difference I could pick in him was that he seemed to find any excuse he could to touch me in some way. His fingers would brush mine as he refilled my glass, or he would gently stroke his knuckle against my thigh beneath the table. Any opportunity he could get to make physical contact with me, he took – and I was certainly not complaining. After our kiss this morning, my body seemed infinitely in tune with his every movement. As much as I was enjoying the evening, I also longed for the moment when we could be alone together.

After the last of the food was served, the hall filled with music and a number of people got up and began to dance in the open space in the middle of the room. This freed up a bit of room at the tables, and I saw that Erik had shifted from his seat and was now deep in conversation with Doctor Weir. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but their expressions told me that whatever it was they at least seemed to be in accord. A feeling of pride for my brother welled up inside me. He had stepped into our father's shoes considerably well while I was away. Although Stanton Thorn had seldom praised either one of us while we were young, his attitude had softened a little in his later years, and I felt that if he was alive today then he would admire the man Erik had become. The thought choked me up a little bit, and I excused myself from the table to take a trip to the rest room. On the way back, Kadria stopped me.

"I think there's something you've been holding out on," she said, her eyes dancing with mischief. She pulled me to the side of the room. "What exactly is going on with you and this – _Ronon,_ guy? You never mentioned last night that he looked like _that!" _She fanned herself with her hand. "Wow."

I smiled at her enthusiasm." I'm sorry," I told her, "I wanted to tell you everything last night, but I really wasn't sure of where we stood with each other until I saw him again to day."

"So you _are_ seeing him then?" Her eyes opened wide with interest. "How did it happen?" She gave me a sly look, "Are you sleeping with him?"

I couldn't stop the grin that pulled at the corners of my mouth.

"You are!" She gasped. "Oh my goodness! Sara Thorn you owe me a serious talk."

I laughed. "And you'll get it," I assured her. "Only, not tonight."

She tilted her chin. "Fine," she said, "I can wait. I'll just check him out from across the room instead then."

I rolled my eyes. "Please don't. Erik has been doing quite enough of that already. I don't think I could stand the both of you sizing him up."

Kadria laughed. "I know you brother can be a pain in the ass, but try not to be too hard on him. He took your disappearance really badly." She sobered a little, "So did Marcus, from what I hear."

I looked at her. "Who told you that?"

"It's pretty common knowledge. He hasn't said anything to you about it?"

"I've been avoiding him so far," I admitted.

"Fair enough," she said as she cast a wary glance over my shoulder. "So, if I told you he was on his way towards us right now, you wouldn't want me to leave you alone with him?"

"Why do you ask?" My heart skipped a beat. "Is he coming over?"

She pursed her lips and nodded.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself. "No, I'm fine," I told her. "You just go. I'll catch up with you again later."

She gave me one last quick smile of support and then walked away. The skin on the back of my neck prickled.

"Hello, Sara."

Marcus's deep voice seemed to penetrate right through me, and I slowly turned to face him. He stood about a meter away from me, dressed in black trousers with a matching black shirt that was un-tucked at the waist and open at the collar. Clean shaven, he was close enough that I could catch the familiar scent of his cologne. My mouth went dry. For a moment I could not speak.

"If I didn't know better," he continued, "I'd say you've been avoiding me." His smile softened his words. "I came to see you at the house last night, and then again this morning…but I guess you know that." He trailed off. "It's good to see you again, Sara."

"Hello, Marcus." I finally found my voice.

He smiled again. "Can we go somewhere to talk?" he asked. "It's a little crowded in here."

I stared at him for a moment. His short black hair was spiked on top just like I remembered, and his eyes were the same cool blue… "Uh…I'd rather stay here," I told him.

He nodded. "You're still angry with me," he summarized.

To be honest, I wasn't sure how I felt. I had delayed this moment for as long as possible, but it seemed that as eager as I was to postpone it, Marcus was just as keen to bring it about. I forced myself to meet his eyes. "What do you want?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Only to tell you how much I missed you," he stepped closer and reached out to touch my hair – or my cheek, I wasn't sure which – but I pulled away before he could make contact. He lowered his hand back to his side. "I'm sorry," he said, "I guess I deserve that."

"What do you want?" I repeated.

He sighed. "Look, Sara, what I did to you was inexcusable. I know that, and I've regretted it every day since." He ran his hand through the dark spikes of his hair. "When I heard… Well, when I learned the wraith had taken you, I thought I might never get the chance to tell you how sorry I was…How sorry I still am."

I looked away. As much as I didn't want to let his words affect me, I had once loved this man with all my heart. It seemed I was not quite as immune to him as my mind told me I should be. "You haven't regretted it _every_ day," I reminded him. "At least not right away."

"I'm not with Nadia any more," he said, as if that somehow made everything better. I sucked in my breath. Even now it still hurt to hear him say her name. Seeing him with her, just days after we broke up had perhaps been the hardest part for me to take.

"She doesn't mean anything to me," he continued. "She never did."

I frowned. "How can you say that? You turned your back on five years of us being together, and picked up with her barely two days later. Don't tell me she never meant anything to you. It's… it's insulting."

He shook his head, his blue eyes never leaving mine. "It's true though," he said. "Leaving you was the single biggest mistake of my life."

I stared at him. His betrayal came barely six weeks before the wraith stole my memory. For some people, that might have been enough time to pick themselves up and move on, but not me. I carried the pain of his rejection with me right up until the moment my memory of him was erased. "You…broke my heart," I told him, and then I finally found the courage to ask him the one thing I never had at the time. "Why?" I whispered.

He was silent for a moment, as if he was trying to decide how much he wanted to say.

"The truth, Marcus" I prompted. "You owe me that at least."

He looked at me. "You're an amazing woman, Sara. I don't think I've ever met, or will ever meet again, anyone just like you."

I frowned. Why did I get the feeling there was a 'but' coming up.

"You fight, you shoot – hell, you even fly a _sparc _better than half of the men under my command,"he continued.

"I don't understand," I told him. "You broke up with me because I can fire a gun and fly a ship?"

He shook his head. "No, those are all things I admire about you. Things that I _love_ about you," he said. "It's more that... you always place such high standards on yourself and everything that you do. Erik is the same. I've never known two people who are more determined to succeed – and who usually always do, as well. I don't know if you realize this, but it's hard to be around you without feeling the need to constantly aspire to those same standards. Almost every day I was with you, I lived in fear that this would be the day I screwed up and you would finally see that I wasn't really good enough to be with you." He swallowed, and I watched his adams apple bob in his throat. "I guess I was worried that eventually _you_ were going to leave _me._"

I didn't reply. Something about what he said resonated deep within me, and I realized I recognized the feelings he had described. The fear of failure, the need to always be one step better than you were, the inevitability that eventually, no matter how hard you tried, you were always going to fall short – all of those feelings were similar to those I had felt growing up around my father. Had I somehow impressed the same pressure upon Marcus as my father had once heaped upon my own shoulders?

He took a step closer, and his voice was soft as he spoke. "I'm third in command after your brother," he said. "I have a squadron of men under me, and I've proven myself to be one of the best pilots we have. I'm a successful man in my own right, Sara. But whenever I'm around you, it all seems to fade into the background…" He leaned over, his large frame now about as close to mine as possible without either us actually touching. "I'm not proud of what I did to you," he said, "But sometimes I believed I fell short of your expectations."

I took a deep breath, and then slowly released it. "I'm sorry you felt that way," I told him. "Believe it or not, I know what it feels like to consider that your best is never good enough." I looked at him and my heart softened towards him a little. "But you were wrong to think that way," I told him. "In my eyes you were always _more_ than good enough for me." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I bared myself to him one last time. "I respected you. I trusted you…and I loved you."

His eyes filled with hope, and he reached out to me, but I wasn't finished speaking. I took a step away.

"…But those are all things I can never feel for you again," I told him. "The very things that you just listed about me are what kept me alive these last few months. I don't know how much you have been told, but for seven months the wraith hunted me from one end of the galaxy to the other. I drew upon every skill, and ounce of determination that I have, just to keep one step ahead of them. If not for being who I am, then I probably wouldn't have survived."

Marcus slowly nodded his head. "I realize that now," he said, "The problem was never with you. It was with me." His eyes softened as he looked at me. "I've thought about you – I've thought about _us_ – a lot since you've been gone…"

I gave him a wistful smile. "See, that's the difference," I told him. "Six weeks after we broke up, I forgot you existed. I haven't thought about you in seven months, and now suddenly my memory of you has come back…and it's just not the same as it was. _I'm_ not the same as I was."

He winced, and I saw the hurt in his eyes. "Nor am I," he implored. "I made a mistake with you in the past, but if you'll give me the chance, I'll prove myself to you again."

I looked at him. "I believe you," I said. "But it's not enough for me any more." I knew I was inflicting him with the same pain he had once bestowed upon me, and it gave me no pleasure. I wanted to finish the conversation as quickly as possible. "I'm sorry," I told him, "But in my eyes, you and I are over." I lowered my gaze and prepared to step around him.

He reached out and grasped my wrist to prevent me from leaving, "Sara."

I turned to him. "Don't do this, Marcus." He held my eyes for a long moment, and then I felt his grip ease.

"I love you," he said.

I shook my head. Once, not so long ago I had wanted to hear those words so badly. Now they just made me feel sad. "Look after yourself, Marcus," I told him as I turned and headed back across the hall. The guests had thinned considerably during the time I was away, and now when I looked across the room I could see the table where Ronon and the others from Atlantis sat. I realized that if he had looked my way, Ronon would have seen me talking with Marcus. I headed towards him. Now, more than ever, I wanted to be near to him again. He looked up as I approached.

"Hey," he rested his arm along the back of the bench seat and leaned back so I could sit down next to him. I did so, and the warmth of his body enfolded me as his arm curled around my shoulders. 'You alright?" he bent his head towards me. "You've been gone a while."

Something in the way he looked at me told me I was right in guessing he had seen me with Marcus. I nodded, "I just needed to sort a couple of things," I told him, "But I'm fine now." I leaned in towards him. "In fact, I'm more than fine."

His mouth curled into a lazy smile, and to my relief he let the matter drop. I relaxed against him as we joined in the conversation around us. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed the night, and even Erik appeared at ease as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his legs beneath the table. Eventually the hour grew late, and the people around us began to depart. I linked my hand through Ronon's as we got to our feet with the remainder of those at the table. It was a silent invitation, and by the look he gave me, I knew he understood the meaning. I noticed Erik was busy saying goodnight to the others from Atlantis, so I squeezed Ronon's hand and indicated he follow me towards the door. It was a good chance for us to slip away without the hassle of facing my brother.

To my despair Ronon didn't budge. Instead he closed his hand more firmly around mine and stood fast, preventing me from leaving also. "Wait," he turned his head and looked at me.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, although the sinking feeling in my stomach told me that I already knew. "You don't have to ask for Erik's permission to be with me," I whispered to him. "He's only my brother. He doesn't own me."

"I don't intend to ask," he said, "But I think he should know, all the same."

I bit my lip, but by now it was too late to protest because my brother was already on his way over. Ronon's left hand held me fast, and he extended his right towards Erik.

"General Thorn," he said, "Thank you for showing us around today."

Erik looked at us both cautiously, but he had little choice other than to accept Ronon's hand.

"It was an interesting afternoon, Specialist Dex."

I rolled my eyes. What was with the titles all of a sudden?

'I think you know I have no intention of returning with the others to the guest quarters," Ronon went on. "I trust you do not have a problem with that?"

If ever I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, then this was definitely that moment. I looked at Erik to try and gauge his reaction. I had the really bad feeling that things were about to go downhill.

Erik released Ronon's hand, and to my surprise his reply was reasonably cordial. "So long as that is what Sara wants, then I do not oppose," he said. I was about to heave a sigh of relief, when he drew himself up to his full height and added, "But if you hurt her in any way, then know you will have me to answer to."

Ronon held his stare. It was difficult to decide who of the two was taller - it was also difficult to decide who of the two I most wanted to slap first. Before I could come to a decision, Ronon gently squeezed my fingers. "I wouldn't expect anything less," he said to Erik, and then to my relief he finally let me guide him out of the hall.


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: **Wow, so many reviews for my last chapter! Thank you all so much, I really enjoyed reading your comments. I'm kind of flying blind with this story so it's nice to know that on the whole I seem to be pleasing the long time Ronon/SGA fans. This chapter contains adult content (lots of it!) so it has a definite M rating. Enjoy!

**Sara POV**

"I can't believe you just did that," I said to Ronon as soon as we were out of earshot from Erik. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking how I would feel in his position," he replied. "If I had a sister, I would never respect any man who went behind my back, in my own home, to be with her."

"Well, you certainly don't need to worry about _that_ any more," I told him.

He looked at me and grinned. "Your brother knows I'm with you, and he's told me the consequences if I don't treat you right." He shrugged. "It's no big deal."

I shook my head. It seemed that Ronon and my brother might be more in tune with each other than I realized. We walked along the corridor of the East wing that led to my bedroom. On impulse I stopped outside a closed door along the way. "Wait," I said to Ronon, "There's something I want to show you."

He watched as I pushed open the small wooden door in front of me and led the way into the room on the other side. I shivered as the cool air hit me while I fumbled for the light switch. The room eventually lit up and the interior revealed row upon row of shelves, all lined with neatly labeled specimen jars. "This was my mother's room," I told Ronon. "She used to collect plant samples and then come in here to analyze then."

He smiled. "I guess that answers the question of where you learnt about herbal medicine from," he said. He pointed towards a picture on the wall. "This her?"

I nodded.

He walked over to take a closer look. "She looks like you," he said. "Same color hair… her eyes are similar too."

I smiled. "She taught me a lot about certain plants and their uses, but I was really more interested in spending time with her than in the plants themselves. I guess some of what she told me stayed with me though." I shivered again. The room had been disused for so long that the cold was almost unbearable. "Come on," I reached for his arm. "Let's go."

My own room was much warmer when we entered. The fire in the hearth was lit, as were both of the candles in their holders on my bedside table and vanity. Ronon paused to look around, and then approached the fire and placed another log onto it. I turned my back on him and walked over to the vanity to remove my earrings and necklace. As I dropped them into the top draw and pushed it closed, Ronon reappeared behind me. He had removed his coat, I noticed, and the bare skin on his arms appeared warm and tanned in the soft firelight of the room. I started to turn around, but he placed his hands on my hips and stopped me. Held between his body and the vanity, I met his eyes in the mirror.

"I've been waiting for this all night," he told me, his breath a warm caress against the skin at the base of my neck.

My heart skipped, and he dipped his head to place a lingering kiss on my collar bone. He drew back slowly, and I watched him take a deep breath as he inhaled the scent of my skin. His eyes in the mirror recaptured mine and he pressed his lips back to my skin again, this time a little higher up than before. The soft length of his whiskers grazed the base of my neck and I tilted my head to the side to allow him access to my throat. His lips were warm and moist, and he moved them leisurely along my jaw line. "Ronon…" I breathed.

"Shhh," he whispered as he flicked his tongue out to tease my earlobe.

I pressed myself back against the length of his body, and he slipped his hand from my waist to cup the weight of my right breast. His hand on my thigh slowly curled into a fist, bunching the fabric beneath it and raising the hem of my dress a little. He repeated the motion, his fingers grazing my skin through the fabric, and I held my breath as my dress was raised further again. His other hand shifted from my right breast to my left, and I closed my eyes in pleasure as he teased the nipple into a sharp point. My senses were aflame – sight, smell, touch…

"Open your eyes," he rasped, his voice thick with desire.

… and sound. The gruffness of his tone caused delicious reverberations against my back, and I happily gave into his command. Our eyes locked for a moment, and then I lowered my gaze back to where his hand rested on my partially reveled thigh. Slowly his fingers began to move and he released the folds of my dress and slipped his hand beneath them. HHis body behind me was hard and inflexible and he pressed himself towards me as he stroked the sensitive skin of my inner thigh with his fingertips. My sheer lace briefs were now the only barrier that kept him from my center, and I panted softly as he slid his fingertips beneath them and stroked my heated core leisurely from base to tip. He lingered there for a moment and then withdrew his hand to inch the zip at the back of my dress down. The garment slipped from position and my breasts were bared to the reflection of the mirror. I inhaled, and watched them rise with my chest, their peaks hardened into pink tips. Between them, the ugly scar left by the wraith showed equally as pink. I lifted my fingers to hide it, but Ronon anticipated my reaction and gently lowered my hand back to my side.

"Don't," he whispered, and then moved back a fraction so that for the first time I could turn around. As I did, my dress slipped completely from my body and pooled at my feet on the ground. To Ronon's credit he gave my naked rump in the mirror only the briefest glance before meeting my eyes. He placed his fingers beneath my chin and I passed my tongue across my lips in anticipation of his kiss. The next thing I felt was the gentle pressure of his mouth upon mine. It was soft and wonderful – like a silent acknowledgement of all the emotion building between us during the day – and I got the feeling he was savoring the moment as much as I was. He withdrew a fraction, and then kissed me again, this time parting my lips leisurely with his tongue. As I slid the tip of my tongue against his own, I felt his carefully guarded restraint begin to slip. To push him further, I hooked my fingers over the top of his belt and drew his hips towards me with a sharp tug. His mouth stilled upon mine for a moment, and then he slid his hand down my back and pulled my groin towards his. I stood on tiptoes and hooked my arms around his neck as he ground his hips against me in a deliberate, suggestive motion. The friction through the thin lace of my briefs was sweet agony, and I reached between us to work the heavy buckle on his belt undone. As it slid free I popped the domes of his trousers loose and pushed his top mid way up his torso. His skin was unbelievably hot beneath my fingers, and as he stretched up to remove his top from over his head, I tweaked the hard peak of his right nipple between my thumb and forefinger.

He groaned. "I want this to last," he rasped, "But…"

I brought my hand to the hard bulge at his groin. "I don't want to wait any longer," I told him. "I'm ready now…"

My words seemed to tip the edge of his control, and he grasped my shoulders and pushed me towards the bed. He tugged my briefs down over my hips and I stumbled backwards as I clawed him free of his chaps and trousers. His erection brushed against my stomach, hard and thick, demanding my attention. I grasped him and tugged him with me as I tumbled backwards onto the mattress. Before he could recover, I was already guiding him towards my entrance. He thrust into me with such force, that I cried out and arched my back towards him in ecstasy. I bucked my hips, but he reached down and held me still against the bed. With painstaking self control, he reclaimed my mouth, his kiss heated but held in check. I clenched my fists in frustration. It was pure torture to feel him inside me, above me, touching me while I was held immobile beneath him. I was so close to orgasm that if he was to move just a little… He withdrew with meticulous care and then eased himself back inside me just as slowly. I groaned. The sensation was heaven – not quite enough to push me over the edge, but definitely enough to inch me even closer. I relaxed a little and he released my hip so that he could settle between my legs more fully. He held me there securely, the weight of his body pressing me to the bed as he continued his prolonged exploration of my mouth. When it felt like every inch of my body was aflame, he gradually began to move inside me again. This time his strokes were deeper and longer and he allowed me to lift my hips to meet him. My orgasm, hovering just out of reach for so long was suddenly imminent again. I panted for breath and he increased his strokes so that they became short, hard thrusts. The tension inside me peaked, and then burst forth in such a powerful eruption that I threw my head back against the bed. I was vaguely aware of Ronon's frame tensing above me as he found his own release, before my body descended into a series of rolling aftershocks that left me incoherent, drained and finally, sated. I lay still and listened to the rhythm of his heart as he relaxed on top of me and held me to him.

Some time later, he withdrew and we got under the blankets together. He lay on his back with his head propped against a pillow and I curled myself against him, my cheek resting against his chest. His skin glowed warm and tanned in the soft firelight, highlighting the fairness of my own next to it.

"That was amazing," I told him.

"_You _were amazing," he countered.

I smiled into his chest, happy to bask in the warm afterglow of our lovemaking. I missed you so much last night," I admitted. "Waking up here without you this morning was awful."

"Same for me," he replied. "When I left yesterday…I didn't know if you wanted to see me again."

I pressed my lips to his chest. "I'll _always_ want to see you again," I assured him.

He smiled and we lapsed into silence for a moment. "The guy you were talking to tonight," he said at length, "I guess there's some kind of history between the two of you?"

I pushed myself away from his chest and looked at him. I knew I would have to tell him at least a little bit abut Marcus sooner or later, but I had hoped to delay things for a while longer.

Ronon must have sensed my reservations. "I don't wanna pry," he said, "I figure you'll tell me about him when you're ready – but I'm probably going to see him tomorrow, maybe work alongside him. It would make things easier if I know the basics about where you stand with each other.

I sighed. The last person I wanted to talk about right now was Marcus. A lot of what we said to each other tonight was locked tightly away inside me, to be analyzed more fully at a later date – or maybe not at all. I respected Marcus enough to know he would not go out of his way to make trouble, but Ronon was right, he was at a disadvantage by not knowing at least a little about our history together. "Marcus and I were together for just over five years," I eventually said. "Six weeks before the wraith captured me, he broke up with me."

Ronon absorbed my words in silence, and I continued on with the bare basics. "He started seeing someone else almost right away. It was a…difficult…time for me."

"You had to see him with her?" Ronon's voice was soft.

I nodded. "All the places where I would go – the firing range, gymnasium, airfield – they're all the same places where Marcus goes too. She started to show up there to see him."

"That can't have been easy," he stroked my back.

"It wasn't," I agreed. "I cared for him so much…" To my surprise, talking to Ronon was somehow less difficult than I anticipated. Until now I had not spoken about the break up with anyone – definitely not Erik, and not Kadria either, although to be fair both of them had tried. "I really thought he was the one..." I admitted, and then trailed off as I realized how naive I sounded. To fend off any unwanted pity, I smiled and added, "It's amazing what seven months of solitude can do to change your perspective."

Ronon smiled, and I realized that if anyone knew what I was talking about then it was definitely him. He was thoughtful for a moment and then he spoke again. "So he broke off with you to be with someone else," he said. "He still with her?"

I shook my head. "Apparently not. It sounds like they parted not long after…." I was going to say '_not long after I went missing,' _but it seemed to imply too much. Instead I finished, "…not long after they got together."

He nodded, and I could see the question in his eyes before he voiced it. "And now he wishes he'd done things differently?"

"He told me tonight that he regrets breaking up with me…" I admitted. "But incase you're worried, I made it clear that there is no way we're ever going to get back together."

He smiled and held my eyes. "Incase I'm worried…" he repeated.

I arched my eyebrow with interest. "Why?" I pressed him, "Are you?"

"Well, you could have been with him tonight, but instead you're here with me," he smiled, "so no, I guess I'm not."

I looked away. Although not intended as a rebuke, his reply was less than I had hoped for. I knew it was irrational to be hurt – like he said, we were together tonight by mutual choice – but that did not seem to stop the longing inside me for something…_more. _Disillusioned, I pulled the sheets closer to my body.

He smiled and shook his head. "Sara, I could tell you I wish he had never hurt you… that he had never let you go. But that wouldn't be entirely true." His words were soft, as were his eyes. "Instead, I'll make a promise to you…as long as you are with me, _I'll _never hurt you…and _I'll _never let you go." His thumb gently stroked my cheek. "I never thought I'd want to say this to anyone again, but you should know…" He looked me straight in the eye. "…I love you."

I exhaled and a smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. "Really?"

He nodded, "Uh huh."

I broke into a grin. For a moment I was lost for words. Instead of trusting my voice, I leaned towards him and placed my lips upon his. After so many weeks of just being with him, things were now suddenly changing between us at an alarmingly rate and as elated as I was, I also felt distinctly out of kilter. I clung to him. My every emotion – joy, hope, fear, – poured out as I kissed him. Amidst my confusion, one thing was certain, I wanted this man like I had never wanted anything else before. Only when I felt lightheaded for lack of breath did I finally release his lips and pull back a fraction. We sat together, our faces inches apart as we panted for air. "I love you too," I whispered.

He broke into a lazy smile. "Well I guess that's settled then," he drawled. His eyes studied me from behind thick lashes. I read the desire in them before he spoke, "Now," he patted the top of his thigh with his hand, "how 'bout you come here and prove it to me?"

I didn't need asking twice. I pressed my palms against the hard muscles of his chest and lifted my leg to straddle him. He was already semi hard, and I ground myself against him as he reached for me. His kiss was heated and demanding, and his arousal between my thighs quickly became the same. I reached between us and circled his thick shaft with my hand. This bought my breasts to almost level with his face, and he flicked out his tongue to tease the swollen point of the one closest. I stroked the heavy length of him and then lifted my hips and positioned him at my entrance. With a deep breath, I slowly eased myself down onto his length. There was little question that he was well endowed, but the change in position made him seem larger still. My breathing became shallow as my walls expanded to accommodate him. By the time I encompassed him fully, I was stretched to the limit. I sat still for a moment as I got used to the feel of him. His chest rose and fell beneath my fingertips and his hand stroked the front of my thigh, but other than that he remained motionless as he waited for me to make the first move. I rolled my hips. It was a tentative motion, short and slow, but the friction it created compelled me to repeat it. Ronon relaxed a little, and lay back against the pillow to watch as I began to ride him. His eyes were hooded, and his mouth fell open as I clenched myself around him with each stroke. Eventually he began to roll his hips beneath me and I sighed as he penetrated me more deeply still. We relaxed into a gentle rhythm, and then he sat up beneath me and guided my knees to straighten. I found myself sitting in his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist. The position was much more intimate and I kissed and stroked his face as he moved against me. We rocked together, gradually building up the tempo again until I felt my skin begin to bead with sweat. He seemed to sense my release was near because he thrust up into me more forcefully and triggered my release. My head fell back with the pleasure of my climax, and before I had time to recover he lifted me off his lap and withdrew. I found myself positioned on hands and knees in front of him as he penetrated me from behind. His firm hands gripped my hips as he thrust home into me time and again. I cried out, and he thrust harder, faster, longer, until I could hardly think beyond the tension that was building inside me again. Just when I thought I could stand it no longer, my body shattered into pieces as I exploded with a second orgasm. He tensed behind me and I felt the warm fluid of his release seep from inside me. A short moment later he slipped his hand beneath my stomach and guided me so that I rested prone on the bed beneath him. For the second time that night, I lay and recovered. When his breathing eased, I felt him place soft kisses on my shoulders and back. The gesture was oddly touching, considering the ferocity of our joining and I suddenly felt fragile from everything we had just shared. He seemed to sense my vulnerability because he lifted himself off me and gathered me to him so that I rested against his chest again.

I curled myself into him and drew comfort from the solidarity of his body. It was a wonderful feeling to be held by him, warm and safe and secure. "I don't want this to end," I whispered.

He wrapped both his arm around my shoulders. "There's no reason why it has to," he replied. "Tomorrow when the team leaves for Atlantis, you could come back with me… or if you prefer, I could stay on here with you."

I bit my lip. It sounded so easy, but I had a feeling the actual decision would be anything but. "Which would you rather?" I forced myself to ask, although I already suspected his reply.

He stroked my back gently. "Atlantis," he replied. "You?"

My heart sank. The last thing I wanted was to have to choose between my home and the man I loved. "As much as I like Atlantis, it will never be home to me," I said. "Tarus is where I belong, and it's where my friends and family live. I don't want to leave…" I paused. "But if you're not here, then I don't really want to stay either."

He nodded. "Same," he whispered.

I sighed. At least it appeared we both wanted to be together. If nothing else, that much was definite.

He dipped his head towards mine. "We don't have to make a decision right now," he said. "How 'bout we leave it until morning?"

I nodded. What he said made sense. The night was too perfect to ruin with such serious talk anyway. I snuggled back into his chest. "I love you," I whispered again.

His arms tightened around me. "I know," he replied softly.

I closed my eyes and gradually begin to drift. The temperature in the room dropped as the fire died down and some time later I was vaguely aware of the blankets being pulled up around my shoulders. Just before I let my tentative grip on consciousness go, I thought I heard him tell me again that he loved me.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: **Wow, for some reason this chapter really did my head in to write! Sorry I missed last weekend's update. Thanks to those who left a review for my last chapter. You made my day!

**Sara POV**

A loud knock on my bedroom door woke me the next morning. Sometime in the night I must have rolled over, because I lifted my head off the pillow and looked back at Ronon who was curled around me from behind. It was still semi-dark in the room, and he stirred as I craned my head towards the door.

"Who is it?" I called as I tried to work out who in their right mind would be up at such an early hour of the morning. A split second after I came up with the answer, a voice at the door confirmed it.

"It's Erik," my brother called.

I groaned. "What do you want?"

"I'm about to head down to the gymnasium for a workout," he said, "I thought Ronon might be interested in joining me."

I rolled over and looked at Ronon who was now awake beside me. The last thing I wanted was to have him stolen away by my brother. I reached out and touched his chest. "Please tell me you're not going," I said.

He looked at me. "I should," he replied

I sighed. "You know when Erik says 'workout', what he really means is he has thought of yet another overbearing, alpha-male kind of way to pit himself against you, right?"

"Uh huh."

"I bet he's hoping if he makes things difficult enough for you, you'll think I'm not worth the effort."

To my dismay, Ronon merely laughed at my concerns. "Looks like I'll have to prove him wrong then," he said as he rolled over. "I'll be there soon," he called to Erik through the door.

I turned over with him. No way was I about to sit back and let Erik take him from me that easily. I reached over and trailed my hand down his chest – _right_ down his chest – and he paused and looked at me.

I smiled. "Stay," I whispered as I gently stroked between his legs. He stirred beneath my hand and I leaned in to kiss his chest suggestively. Caught off guard, he emitted a low growl of pleasure before he reached down and removed my hand.

"You don't know what you do to me," he said as he gently kissed my fingertips. "But if we're going to be together, I need to make some kind of peace with your brother."

"And you plan to do this at the gym? Surrounded by sticks, batons and boxing gloves?"

He grinned. "If necessary."

I exhaled, and turned away from him. "Fine," I huffed, "Go and meet with him then. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

The mattress behind me dipped to compensate his weight as he leaned over to whisper into my ear. "You're sexy when you're angry," he told me.

"Obviously not sexy enough," I retorted, and then smiled as I felt him reach for me beneath the covers.

"Sleep late," he husked, "Because tonight I don't intend to let you rest until I've had you at least once in every way imaginable… and maybe a couple that aren't as well."

I smiled, and then giggled as he bit my earlobe. "Just go," I laughed, and pushed him away before he could turn me on any more than I already was. "And please, try not to break each other's bones."

He chuckled and got out of bed. I heard him searching for his clothes on the floor and then a few minutes later the door closed behind him as he left the room. I must have gone back to sleep again because when I next opened my eyes the room was in full light. I rolled over and was surprised when my stomach churned uneasily. The clock on the bedside table told me it was 9.42am, much later than I normally slept. I put my tardiness down to the fact that Ronon and I had been awake for most of the night as I gingerly lifted my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. A wave of nausea engulfed me, and for a moment I got the sickening feeling that I might be about to throw up. I closed my eyes and swallowed, and eventually the feeling passed enough for me to reach for my robe and pull it on. A moment later the feeling returned, this time even stronger than before and I ran from the room towards the toilet. I made it there just in time to bring up the remains of last nights meal. When I was done, I let out a groan and sank to the cold stone floor, hugging my knees to my chest. What was wrong with me? Had I eaten something last night that didn't agree with me maybe? Perhaps I was coming down with a stomach bug? I could think of at least half a dozen excuses that might explain how I felt, but deep down I knew that every one of them would be wrong.

I slumped against the wall and rested my forehead against my knees. For some time now I had been ignoring the fact that my period was overdue. To compound my fears, I was constantly tired, my breasts had practically grown overnight, and there was the tiny detail that I had been indulging in regular doses of unprotected sex. Even I could no longer deny there was a pretty strong likelihood I was pregnant. I dragged myself to my feet and reached out to flush the evidence of my condition away. Last night I had felt so secure in Ronon's love for me, but now in the cold light of day, with the possibility of his baby growing inside me, I no longer felt so confident. This would change things between us once again. I had no idea how he might react to the news he was about to become a father – right at this moment I wasn't even sure how I felt about it myself.

I forced myself to take a shower, and the hot water seemed to revive me enough so that I was able to venture further into the house to see who else was around. To my surprise, the only person I met was Isobel who was reading a story to Max in the sitting room. They both looked up as I entered the room.

"Hi," I said, and Max smiled and stretched out his arms towards me. "Za," he grinned.

Yesterday I would have laughed at his babyish enthusiasm, but today it was an uncomfortable reminder of the secret that I now carried. I forced myself to smile as I crouched down in front of him. "How's my favorite nephew this morning?" I teased as he slipped off the settee and took a couple of steps towards me. I caught him and pulled him to me in a hug that saw him erupt into a fit of giggles. "Where is everyone this morning?" I asked Isobel.

She brushed her hair back from her face, and I was reminded once again of how beautiful my sister in law was. It wasn't just her looks – although her ebony hair, olive skin and brown eyes were certainly striking – but there was also an air of tranquility around her that was difficult to ignore. Graceful and kind, with seemingly endless amounts of patience, it was no surprise my brother had fallen so in love with her. "Erik got up early and went to the gymnasium," she said and drew me back to the present. "I guess he had breakfast there too because I haven't seen him again since."

I nodded. This wasn't an unusual practice for my brother. I just hoped that by now he had finished with Ronon so I could have a chance to talk to him. The time before Colonel Sheppard and the others would return to Atlantis was going by so quickly. "What about the others?" I asked Isobel. "Have you seen any of them this morning?"

"They left here after breakfast about an hour ago," she informed me. "Your Ronon was not with them though, if that is what you are asking? I didn't think much of it at the time because I assumed he was with you," she said, as her face grew puzzled, "but now it seems like I was wrong..."

I smiled and lowered my eyes. _Your Ronon_. It seemed I was not too old to enjoy the reassurance of my peers regarding my new relationship. "Ronon was with me," I confirmed, "…until Erik dragged him away at some ungodly hour to go with him to the gymnasium."

"Hmm…" Isobel inclined her head thoughtfully. "I guess it's too much to hope then that they're playing nicely?"

Another thing about Isobel was that she certainly knew my brother well. I pressed my fingers to my forehead. "Do you think it's that bad?"

She laughed. "Maybe you had best go and see?" She held out her arms towards Max and I let him walk the few steps back to her.

I stood up. "I wish I could take this as calmly as you are," I said. "If Erik does anything to make things more difficult between he and Ronon than they already are, I will never forgive him."

She smiled and shook her head. "I don't think you have much to worry about in that regard," she said, "If everything I have seen and heard of Ronon so far is to be believed, then I am sure he is more than capable of handling your brother."

Her words made me feel a little better. "I hope you're right," I told her as I left the room.

It was now almost mid-morning and I was surprised by the large number of people who were congregated inside the gym as I entered. I quickly discovered that they were all there for the same reason – to watch the sparring match that was going on in the clear space in the middle of the floor. I pushed my way through the crowd and my heart sank as I saw more clearly what the morning's attraction was. On one side of the floor was my brother, dressed in black sweat pants and a black military dispatch tank with his long hair pulled back and secured at the nape of his neck. Across the circle he faced Ronon in a heated battle of _capture the flag._ My eyes went to Ronon, his bare arms glistening with sweat from his exertions and his hair swinging loose about his face as he pivoted and turned. He ducked to evade a particularly brutal jab, and then retaliate by connecting his baton with Erik's upper arm. Although the power behind the blow was plenty, Erik barely flinched in response. Their battle was fought with such strength and determination that the sounds of their exertions could be heard over the noise of the crowd. I averted my eyes and noticed that Colonel Sheppard and Teyla were standing a little way to my left. I made my way towards them, and the Colonel turned to me as I drew up next to him.

"Hi, Sara," he said. "You're late for the show."

"I slept in," I told him, my eyes fixed on the two men in front of us. They were the epitome of concentration, each swinging and evading as the odd blow got through and hit home. "How long have they been at this for?" I asked the Colonel.

"You mean just this? Or stick fighting and dual baton combat as well?" He gave me a wry smile.

I winced. Things were evidently even worse than they looked. "The lot," I replied.

"Well, I got here just under an hour ago so I'm disappointed to say I missed most of the stick fighting. Word is it was really something to see as well," he added. They gave up on the duel batons not so long ago, and have been going singular since."

I sighed. In front of us, Ronon connected his baton with Erik's thigh and the crowd cheered their approval. Before their cries could die down, Erik retaliated with a jab to Ronon's chest that pitched him slightly off balance. He tipped forward for a moment and Erik snatched the piece of cloth that hung from his belt behind his back. I shook my head. Someone had to put a stop to this before one of them got seriously hurt. I stepped forward as Erik held up the piece of cloth in triumph.

"Ha!" he barked his face alight with pleasure.

To my shock, Ronon actually grinned. He bared his teeth at my brother and then snatched the cloth from his hand to tuck back into his waist band. A moment later they returned to seriousness as they faced each other again.

"They're… _enjoying_ this?" I turned to the Colonel.

He nodded. "Male bonding. I wouldn't interfere, if that's what you're thinking of doing."

I shook my head. "What if one of them gets hurt?"

"They'll mend," he said. "Right now it's more important they settle their differences." He looked at me, and I was left in no doubt of what – or more correctly, _who_ – that difference might be.

In silence I turned back to watch them again. If I was honest, I could see why such a crowd had gathered around them. They were both masters at their game – fit, athletic and fierce – and each as equally determined to win. A sudden curiosity saw me turn to the Colonel again.

"Who's winning?"

He pinched his lips together in thought. "Hard to say. Ronon took the last round, but I think Erik has the edge on him this time."

"Both of them are as stubborn as each other," I said. "You realize they could be here all day, don't you?"

He nodded. "The thought did cross my mind."

I shook my head. In front of me, Erik took a blow to the shoulder and I decided I had seen enough. "I'm going to leave them to it," I said.

The Colonel nodded, and then put out his hand to stop me from leaving. "Wait," he said, "There's something I need to talk to you about."

Puzzled, I turned and waited for him to go on.

"Depending on how long McKay needs in the control tower, the team and I intend to return to Atlantis again by tonight," he said. "I'm not sure if you are aware of it or not, but it seems likely we'll be negotiating some kind of alliance with your people in return for the ZPMs we need to power Atlantis." He looked at me and then glanced at Ronon where he was still fighting with my brother. "I just want you to know that if for any reason you feel like you want to return with us to Atlantis, then you should know that we will have a permanent position available for you there."

"Thank you," I said. Right at that moment, it was just what I needed to hear. If Ronon did not want to stay on at Tarus – and after seeing him with my brother, I would not blame him if that was his choice – at least there was still somewhere we could be together. Of course the offer was made to me as an able-bodied person, not as a pregnant woman who would soon become more of a liability than an asset. I tried to hide my worry as I added, "I'll keep that in mind."

He nodded, "I hope so."

I looked back at Ronon. "If the two of them get done here anytime soon, can you please tell Ronon that I'm going to visit my friend? She works at the hairdressers in the main street of town. He won't be able to miss it if he wants to meet me there."

He inclined his head, and I thanked him again before I made my way towards the exit.

**Ronon POV**

Erik Thorn was no push over when it came to stick fighting. Swift, and strong of frame, he posed a threat that was not only physical in nature, but strategic as well. A single moment of inattention or one rash action on my part, and I quickly discovered he knew exactly how to turn things to his favor. I had never fought with anyone like him – not even back on Sateda – and for the first time since I could remember I found myself being challenged on all fronts. He didn't hold back an inch and neither did I. I answered his blows with those of my own, my concentration focused solely on attack, defense and victory. It was so unusual to find a partner who was my equal – both in stature and ability – that sparring with him made me feel alive and invigorated in a way I had never experienced before. My muscles burned with the effort required, but I barely noticed. I threw everything I had at Erik and he in turn tossed it all right back. After a particularly long spar, he spun his stick behind his back and looked at me.

"Change?" He said.

I nodded, and followed him to replace my stick next to his on the rack. For the first time I became aware of the small crowd of people who had begun to congregate around us. They watched from nearby as Erik picked up two shorter batons and handed them to me, and then I forgot about them as we squared off against each other again. The twin sticks left more room for maneuverability, and our fighting styles adjusted accordingly. Erik swung at my left shoulder and I dropped to one knee and aimed a blow at his ribs. He pulled back at the last moment and I rolled my shoulder so that the draft of air from his baton skimmed across my skin. It was such a close call for both of us that I grinned, and to my surprise Erik smiled also. Until this point, the objective was simply to beat each other as quickly and as thoroughly as possible, but now the mood between us shifted slightly and we began to find enjoyment in the challenge we presented to each other. I swung at him again and he caught my baton with his own in mid swing. The shock reverberated down the muscles in my right forearm and I shoved him backwards with all my strength. I usually kept myself in check when sparring for fear of maiming my partner, so it was extremely liberating to suddenly be able to swing as hard or as fast as I liked. I felt a grudging respect for Sara's brother begin to form inside me. As much as he threw out the attitude, it appeared he could also take what he gave. Nothing I threw at him fazed him – win or lose, he kept his cool. I turned as his baton almost connected with my right hip. That was another thing, I realized. Every blow he cast was precise and according to the rules. He wanted to win, but he was not prepared to cheat to obtain his objective. I caught yet another of his blows with the baton in my right hand and jabbed at him with my left. We separated for a moment as each of us caught our breath and I noticed Sheppard and Teyla were standing ringside. As Erik retied his hair away from his field of vision, I stepped away for a quick word with them.

"Shep." I said as I drew near.

"Hey, buddy," he eyed me up and down, "I see you're doing your bit for intergalactic relations."

I grinned. "He started it."

"Well, it was bound to happen, given how he's been eyeing you up ever since we got here," he said, and then lowered his voice to ask, "How confident are you about taking out the next round? I've got a bit of a wager on you for the win."

I looked back to where Erik was now waiting for me. "Whatever you've placed," I said to Sheppard as I turned to leave, "double it."

I did manage to win the next round for him, despite a taking a shattering blow to the left of my ribcage in the process. To my surprise the crowd erupted into cheers at my victory that were as loud as any they had given their leader. They called out to Erik in jest, and he appeared to take it all in good faith. I realized how strong the rapport between he and his men was. It seemed that not only was he respected by those who worked under him, but he was liked as well. We fought another dozen of so rounds before switching to single batons in a quick paced game of _capture the flag_. By now it felt like we had proved ourselves to each other, so victory or defeat mattered solely for the sake of ego. This was no small matter though, as neither of us was prepared to go down in front of our own people without a full scale battle. I lost count of the rounds we played and would have gone on all morning if not for the sound of splintering wood as for the umpteenth time my baton clashed with Erik's. I spun out of his reach and held it up for closer inspection. To my frustration I discovered a split right down the center. I held up the baton for Erik to see, and he switched his own to his left hand as he came over. It was as good a place to finish as any.

"Good fight," he said as he extended his hand towards me.

"Likewise," I accepted his hand.

He looked at the people standing around us. "Show's over people. I'm sure you've all got things you should be doing."

They began to disperse, and once again I wandered over to Sheppard and Teyla. Sheppard slapped me on the shoulder as I pulled up next to him. "Great going," he said, and then laughed when I flinched as he hit a particularly tender spot. "Looks like you got a bit roughed up there," he teased.

"It's nothing," I told him. "Won't stop me from putting you on your ass if you wanna step up next."

He raised his eyebrows. "I think I'll pass for today," he said. "Teyla and I have been watching you here for most of the morning. If we don't join Weir and McKay in the control tower soon they'll be sending out a search party."

"Sounds like a cop-out to me," I grinned.

He shook his head and was about to reply when Erik approached. I caught the towel he tossed to me as Sheppard spoke.

"Impressive skills the pair of you put on show out there," he said

Erik nodded. "In my experience you only fight as well as the opponent you face," he said. "It seems I had a good one."

Sheppard nodded. I got the feeling he was as surprised by the compliment as I was.

"You coming?" Erik caught my eye and inclined his head in what I guessed was the direction of the showers.

"I'll be right there," I said as I turned back to Teyla and Sheppard. "What's the go for today?" I asked.

"Not a lot, to be honest," Sheppard replied. "Teyla and I are just killing a bit of time here while McKay looks into the reason behind the power source in the control tower. Come and join us there when you're ready."

I nodded. "I'll catch up with Sara and then come and find you."

"Sure," he replied. "You might want to check out the hairdresser in the main street of town. She stopped by earlier and told me you could find her there."

"Thanks," I replied and then bid both he and Teyla farewell as I left with Erik. We entered a locker room with a row of shower cubicles and I stripped off and stepped under the hot jet of water. A number of dark patches on my skin indicated I would be bruised and sore tomorrow, but the thrill of the battle made any discomfort worthwhile. I lingered for a moment and by the time I emerged, Erik was already dressed and waiting. He must have had a change of clothes on hand because his black tank was replaced with a black v-neck tee and different pair of black leather pants

"Want to get something to eat?" he asked.

I nodded and walked with him back through the gymnasium and along a narrow corridor towards the smell of cooked food. A moment late we entered a small cafeteria.

"Take as much as you like," he said as he handed me a plate.

I admired the selection of fresh fish, meat and vegetables on offer. "This is put on every day?" I asked.

"We provide meals and lodging for all military personal," he replied.

I shook my head in disbelief. "And you still can't get people to fight for you?"

He laughed. "I know. I can't understand it either."

We finished at the buffet and approached the nearest table where we took a seat opposite each other. For a moment we ate together in silence. I found my eyes drawn once again to the large scar on his left forearm. I first noticed it when I met him on Trakera, and now I was curious enough to comment on it.

"Impressive scar," I told him.

To my surprise he snorted and shook his head. "I only wish I had an impressive story to go with it." he said. "I'd tell you to ask Sara about it, but I'm afraid it would give her too much pleasure."

"Sara?" I replied, _"She_ did that to you?"

"Not exactly," he shook his head. "It happened when we were kids." He finished chewing before he continued. "There's always been a fair amount of sibling rivalry between us and back then, me being her older brother and all, I could best her at most things. The one thing she always excelled over me at though was gymnastics."

I recalled the times I had seen her incorporate acrobatic type movements in her fighting technique. It was no stretch to imagine she had perfected her style at an early age. I found it strange to sit with Erik and listen to something that happened with Sara before I met her. It made me realized there was still a lot about her that I didn't know.

"There's a huge hay barn just this side of the lake," Erik continued. "I came across Sara one day, standing on the roof of it. She was doing back flips along the top and somersaulting off the end to land in a stack of hay piled below."

I grinned. It was something I could imagine Sara doing.

"She saw me, and beckoned for me to come up and join her. To cut a long story short, I tried to copy what she was doing. It turned out the iron was not as solid as it looked, and as I landed from my second flip I smashed right through the barn roof. I sliced my arm on the iron as I fell." He shook his head at the memory. "Lucky for me there was plenty of hay inside the barn because the roof was so high that I would likely have broken my legs, if not my neck otherwise."

"Sara saw you go through?" I asked.

He nodded. "She ran for help," he told me. "I think she thought I was going to die, there was that much blood everywhere. Anyway, I spent the night in hospital where they sewed me back up." He smiled as he continued, "The next day, our father came in and gave me a lecture about not doing silly things that could get my sister hurt."

Despite myself, I laughed.

"It's not something she lets me forget," he said, as he pushed his empty plate aside and leaned back in his chair. His amusement disappeared and when he spoke again his tone was more serious. "You should know that I love my sister second only to my wife and son," he said. "I would put my life on the line to prevent any one of them from being hurt in any way."

I rested my fork back on my empty plate and looked at him. It seemed we had just come to the real reason why he had chosen to spend time with me this morning. I remained silent as I waited to see what he had to say.

"It seems Sara has grown quite attached to you," he continued. "I guess what I'm wanting to know from you is how you feel about her?" His eyes did not blink as he looked at me. "From what I can tell, you seem to care for her… I would like your assurances as to how much."

I looked at him. It might have been a difficult question for him to ask, but it was a simple enough one for me to answer. "Sara's one of a kind," I told him. "If she is attached to me, then it pales in comparison to the way I feel about her."

He inclined his head slowly as his blue eyes continued to regard me. "You didn't have to explain your intentions to stay with her last night," he said, and then surprised me as he laughed. "To be honest, it kind of threw that you did."

"It seemed like the right thing to do," I replied.

"It was decent of you, given that at the end of the day I am only her brother." He folded his arms across his chest. "It also made me realize how serious you are about her."

"How serious we are about each other," I amended.

He nodded. "Which brings me to my next point. If you and Sara are agreeable, I'd like to represent my proposal for you to stay on here at Tarus. I spoke with Doctor Weir and your Colonel last night, and they both know I am making you this offer," he said. "I believe they have a similar offer in place for Sara, should you both decide to return to Atlantis."

"I'm listening," I said.

"The people from Atlantis want to establish an alliance with our people. We have the ZPMs they require to protect and operate their base, and in return, they have offered a team of trained personal from their home world to come here and fight for us against the wraith."

I nodded. It seemed my suggestion had been met with enthusiasm on both sides. "I don't see what that has to do with me though?" I said.

"Another squadron would require somebody to lead them. Both myself and Troy are limited for the time we can spare, and Marcus already has a squadron beneath him. I was hoping you might consider the position."

Surprised, I did my best not to let it show. "That's a lot to think about," I said carefully.

He nodded. "I realize that," he said, "But there's something more as well…something that the Colonel and I came to an agreement on." He shifted in his seat so he sat a little more forward as he went on. "Should you choose to stay and lead the men from Earth, I have granted to let both you and them be called upon by Atlantis if needed."

I looked at him. "So, I would fight for you, but Atlantis as well?"

"If that is what it takes to keep you here, then yes."

I was silent. As far as proposals went, this one had been well thought out. There was something that I still had reservations about though. "One of your men was once a…friend of Sara's. Have you talked to him about this?"

He raised his eyebrows. "She told you about Marcus?"

"A little," I replied. "Apparently he still has feelings for her. You really think he'd take to working with me?"

"Despite what happened between him and Sara, Marcus is a soldier first and foremost," he said. "He lives to fight the wraith. I have faith in him not to let his feelings get in the way of his work. I'm sure he would see the potential an addition of your caliber would make to our team."

I thought over what he said for a moment. "Alright," I told him at length. "I'll think about it."

"Talk it over with whoever you need to and then get back to me," he said. "There's no hurry to make a decision." He uncrossed his arms and stood up. "I've got to run a couple of cadets through flight training in about ten minutes time, but I'll be at the control tower later if you need to find me."

I stood up and walked with him to the exit. Once outside we parted ways and I took the road that would take me into the center of town. Could I leave Atlantis and stay here with Sara? It certainly seemed like a more viable option than it had yesterday. My mind hummed with possibilities as I looked for the hairdressers where Sheppard had told me I could find Sara. Despite only being apart from her for a few hours I was already eager to see her again. If I didn't want to be separated from her again tonight, then this thing between Atlantis and Tarus needed to be settled once and for all. I picked up my pace and set about finding her with more determination.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: **Thanks once again to those who were kind enough to leave a review for my last chapter. I never really know how things are going to be received so it's great to know people are still reading! This is the second to last chapter, mild M rating applies.

**Sara POV**

After all of the testosterone in the gymnasium, it was wonderful to sit in the warm calm of the hair salon and talk to my friend. Kadria and I had shared everything from school girl crushes to first kisses, broken hearts to adult relationships with each other over the years so I was not surprised when she quickly steered the topic of conversation towards Ronon.

"I hope you're going to tell me more about this mystery man of yours," she said. "You know he couldn't keep his eyes off you last night, right?"

I smiled and lowered my eyes. As much as I wanted to confide in my friend about Ronon, I really didn't know where to start. Usually when we had these kinds of talks we would give each other tidbits of information and slowly savor the moments of story telling, but between discovering I was pregnant and watching Ronon and Erik fighting each other, I just didn't feel up to it. There was really only one thing I could tell her. "I… think I'm in love with him, Kad," I said, "And it's the best, most terrifyingly wretched feeling ever."

She grinned and raised her eyebrows. "Wow, you've got it for him bad."

I nodded. "I've turned into one of those pathetic, awful women who can't think of anything beyond the man they are seeing. I don't even know how it happened. I just know I feel so much happier when I'm around him."

Kadria smiled. "You love him. It's only natural you want to be with him," she told me. She must have sensed how upset I was because she grinned and added, "But if you start knitting socks for him, then you know I'll have to slap you."

I laughed, a strangled sound that was half sob due to the lump in my throat. "I hate knitting," I assured her.

"Well that's alright then," she teased. "You had me worried for a moment." Her expression grew more serious as she looked at me. "Does he know how you feel?"

I nodded. "He told me he feels the same way."

She pulled back and looked at me in surprise. "But that's…_great. _So what's the big deal then?"

"Everything," I said. "For a start, he and Erik don't see eye to eye. They're at the gymnasium together now, attempting to permanently maim each other under the guise of sport."

Kadria laughed. "And this is new how? Your brother is always like that with any man who takes a fancy to you. If he has his way, I swear you'll die a spinster." She sobered. "That's not the only reason why you're upset though, is it? There's something else, something you're not telling me."

I shook my head. As much as I was tempted to, I could not bring myself to tell her that I was pregnant. No matter what his reaction, I owed it to Ronon for him to be the first to know. "It's…complicated," I said, and realized that even to my own ears my reply sounded weak.

Her expression softened and to my relief she didn't push me further. "I'm sure everything will work out," she said, and then she smiled and shook her head. "Now I sound like a really bad therapist. Why don't you tell me how great he makes you feel instead? Or even better," she lowered her voice, "What he's like in bed."

I smiled. Despite my worries I found myself recalling last night and the wonderful hours Ronon and I had spent making love together. A warm glow settled over me as I relived the way he had looked at me, the words we had said to each other. "He's… amazing," I heard myself say. "Definitely the best I've ever had."

She grinned and clapped her hands together. "I knew it!" she exclaimed. She sat forward in her chair and listened eagerly as I went on.

"He's so…intense. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me… it's like nothing I've ever experienced before," I told her. "When I'm with him, he makes me feel like I'm the only thing in the universe that is worthy of his attention."

Kadria gave a dreamy sigh, "Intense," she repeated, "Now _that_ I could live with that."

I smiled. There was so much more, so many feelings I was yet to explore myself. I needed to share them with someone, if only to make more sense of them myself. "He's warm and solid and wonderfully attentive… but he's not a pushover," I told her. I realized that what I was saying applied to both in and out of the bedroom. "When I'm with him he lets me take the lead, but I am never in doubt he is capable of taking it back again at any time. I trust him, and I have faith in his judgment…" I looked at her and smiled. "Honestly, Kad, when I'm around him he makes me feel so… _good_ to be a woman that I practically curl my toes."

She giggled and fell back against the cushions. "Best description ever!" She told me. "You _lucky_ thing!"

Her laughter was infectious, and I settled back next to her on the settee. We were still laughing when Ronon entered the salon a few moments later. I sat up and tried to compose myself as he gave us both a puzzled look.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked.

"No," I shook my head.

"No," Kadria said at the exact same moment.

We dissolved into laughter again and it was a moment before I managed to pull myself together. "Sorry," I said to Ronon as I stood up. "We just haven't seen each other in a while." I reached out and touched his upper arm. "I'd like you to meet my best friend, Kadria"

He looked at Kadria who immediately got to her feet.

"Kadria," I said, "This is Ronon."

I waited while they took each other in and then breathed a sigh of relief as they exchanged polite greetings. Finally it seemed as if two important people in my life might actually be able to get along. My spirits lifted further as Ronon slipped his arm around my waist and turned to Kadria.

"You mind if I steal her for a while?"

She held up her hands. "Be my guest."

I felt myself being guided toward the door. "I'll catch up with you again later," I assured my friend.

She gave me a knowing smile. "Mind those toes."

Ronon gave me a puzzled look. "Something wrong with your feet?"

I shook my head as Kadria's laughter followed us outside. "I'm fine I assured him. Why?"

He slipped his arm from my waist. "I was thinking we could take a walk up to that lake you showed me yesterday."

"Okay," I agreed as I indicated the direction we needed to go. Ronon followed beside me and I noticed he didn't appear to be suffering any lingering effects from his escapades with my brother.

"It looks like you're still in one piece," I told him, "Dare I ask how Erik is?"

He grinned and tilted his head to the side a little. "Your brother's a hard-ass," he told me. "Last I saw of him he was fine."

I raised my eyebrows. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you just paid him a compliment."

He grinned. "Maybe."

We reached a fork in the road and I guided us around to the right. "Where does the other one go?" Ronon asked.

"That road leads to the mine," I told him. "We run a small scale operation digging for _coya. _It's a pale green gemstone that is native to Tarus." I turned my head to look at him. "You probably won't remember, but the necklace and earrings I wore last night – they had _coya_ stones in them."

He met my eyes. "I remember," he said.

His gaze implied there was very little about last night that he did not recall, but when he spoke again I understood why he had taken particular interest in the gemstones.

"We extracted _merthas_ on Sateda," he told me. "It's a stone similar to _coya,_ but the color is much deeper green."

"I've never heard of it before," I admitted

He shook his head. "You won't hear of it again either," he told me. "The wraith destroyed the mine."

We walked in silence for a moment and I directed him towards the field we needed to cross in order to get to the lake. I scaled the fence that stood in our way and turned back to find Ronon starring at the huge hay barn that loomed to the right of us. It was the same barn I had spent many hours playing in when I was younger, but there was really nothing notable about its appearance that would explain Ronon's interest.

"Something the matter?" I asked.

He grinned and shook his head. "Nope."

I raised my eyebrows. There was definitely something he wasn't telling me but he didn't seem inclined to elaborate so I turned and led the way across the field. The mid-day sun beat down upon us as we walked and Ronon removed the dark brown coat he wore and rested it over his arm. It wasn't long before the lake came into view and we walked together across the schist rock that led down to its edge. Because it was still early afternoon, the children who usually played there were still in school and we had the area largely to ourselves.

"This is Lake Moorsworth," I said to Ronon as he stood next to me and looked around. A small bow-wave in the water indicated we had startled a trout and he pointed towards it with his hand. "The lake is full of them," I explained as I selected a large, flat rock and sat down. He joined me a moment later, sitting close enough so that his shoulder brushed against mine. We looked out across the water together and I realized that if I wanted to tell him about the baby, then this was probably a good opportunity to do so. The problem was, I still had no idea of how to bring the subject up.

"You okay?" he asked, and I realized my worry had made me quiet.

"I'm fine," I told him. "I was just thinking."

"Same," he said as he turned slightly to look at me. "You know Atlantis has offered your people a team of men to fight for them?"

I shook my head. "I wasn't aware of it," I told him. "Is this in exchange for the ZPMs they need?"

"Uh huh." He looked at me again. "The men are from Sheppard's home world," he explained. "Your brother has asked me to stay at Tarus and take command of them."

"Really?" I looked at him in surprise. "And this is something you would consider?"

He held my eyes. "I believe I could work under your brother's leadership," he said. "He's upfront, and he seems to know what he's about."

"Wow," I replied. "This is some turnaround."

"Your brother's not so bad." He held my gaze. "Turns out we have interests in common."

By the tone of his voice, it was safe to assume it was not their love of combat or their mutual desire to kill wraith that he was referring to. I smiled. "I'm glad," I told him.

He shifted slightly and braced himself on one arm as he turned towards me further. "He mentioned Atlantis was going to talk to you about staying on with them," he said. "You know anything about that?"

I frowned as I thought back to earlier that morning. "The Colonel did say something about a permanent position for me," I told him. "He brought it up while you and Erik were sparring though, so I thought he might be trying to make me feel better. I'm not sure how much weight there was to his words."

"It's a pretty sure bet he meant what he said," Ronon replied. "They care about you. I know they'd be happy to see you stay."

I lowered my eyes. It seemed we were back to the exact point we reached the night before. Only if we were going to make a decision about our future, I couldn't ask Ronon to do that until he knew everything there was to tell. "I think we're both familiar with the pros and cons that come with both Atlantis and Tarus," I said, "But there's one more thing that I've thought about that you probably haven't considered…"

He looked at me, his face completely open, and I knew he had no idea of what was coming.

"If you compare the two worlds," I continued, "…then I think Tarus is the better place to raise a baby."

He stared at me, and the corners of his mouth curled into an odd kind of smile. It wasn't like we had ever talked about children before and I could see he was perplexed that I had chosen to bring the subject up now. His expression changed, and I watched his smile catch and then slowly begin to fall as understanding dawned. The last trace of his amusement disappeared completely as his eyes dropped to my stomach. "You're pregnant?" he asked as he looked at me again.

"I'm not certain yet," I told him. "But yes, it's more than likely." My heart pounded. So much depended on his reaction that I had a hard time meeting his eyes squarely.

"Really?" He asked, and the smile that had left his face just moments before slowly began to reappear.

I nodded, afraid to trust my voice.

His smile grew wider and he stared at me in wonder. "How long have you known for?"

"A while," I croaked, "but I kept hoping…I kept thinking that I might be wrong."

His brow furrowed and his smile wavered a little. "This… isn't what you want?"

The question caught me off guard. Somehow, I had been so worried about his reaction to the news of a baby that I had not really taken the time to consider how I felt about it myself. I placed my hand to my stomach and was surprised when a lump of emotion welled up inside me. "I…" I stammered. Although its presence was not yet visible I felt a surge of protectiveness towards the tiny life inside me. How could I love something so fiercely when I had only just acknowledged that it even existed? I blinked back tears as I realized I had no idea of how – I only knew that I did. "Yes," I told him as I finally found my voice. "Yes. I want this baby."

He pulled me to him and the next thing I knew his lips were on mine. His kiss was so heated, so possessive,that I yielded to his strength and clung to him with a longing I did not know I possessed. He stroked my back, my arms, my jaw and my heart soared at his every touch. Not only did he want this child, but he wanted it with an intensity that left me breathless. I realized I had doubted him without reason but it was impossible to tell him so when his mouth was doing such delicious things to my own. He placed his arm around my waist and gently lowered me down onto the sun-warmed rock beneath us. I could taste him, breath him, touch him and yet it still wasn't enough to quell the longing he stirred within me. When he finally released my mouth, there was only one thing on my mind. "Make love to me," I whispered.

He pulled back a fraction and raised his eyebrows. "What…here?"

I nodded. "Yes…"

His eyes clouded with desire. "Someone could come," he warned.

"They won't," I assured him. "We'll be able to see them if they do."

He gave a brief laugh. "Not before they see _us."_ He looked over his shoulder back towards the way we came. "Come on," he said as he stood up and pulled me upright beside him. "I've got a better idea." He slipped his hand through mine and led me away from the lake, back to the field we had crossed earlier. My body was heavy and languid with the need he had stirred, and I swayed my hips gently as I walked. When the barn loomed into view I suddenly realized what he had in mind. I pulled him forward in anticipation and he grinned and lengthened his stride but refused to let me hurry him further. His resistance was a reminder of everything I liked about him and the moment we stepped through the open entrance to the barn he reinforced the feeling as he pulled me to him and kissed me soundly. A small stack of bales was situated near the open front and he released my mouth for long enough to guide me towards them. I scaled up the side of them with ease and knelt on top as he tossed his coat up and quickly followed. We were now out of sight from passers by, but because the roof was so high the sun was still able to reach us. He reached for me and guided me down onto the hay beneath him as he kissed me again. Slowly we stripped each other bare of clothes and placed them under us so they formed a soft barrier between our bodies and the hay below. The sun and air hit my bare skin and I arched myself towards Ronon's touch as he slid his hands over my breasts and downwards to stroke the sensitive skin of my belly. He was fully aroused and his erection pressed against my thigh, pulsating and hard as he looked at me in question.

"The baby?" he asked

I smiled as I realized what he was asking. "The baby will be fine," I assured him.

"I thought so," he said, and he slid his fingers lower to seek out the moist area between my legs. At the same moment as they found their target, he leaned over and took my nipple between his teeth. The two way assault made me gasp in pleasure and my thighs seemed to part of their own accord in order to let him touch me further. I reached for him, but he chose that moment to inch his lips down my body and replace his fingers with his tongue. The sensation was pure bliss and I sighed and lay back in the open air as he slowly teased me to orgasm. When it was over, I stretched my arms above my head in pleasure and he rose to his knees above me and positioned himself at my entrance. The heavily defined muscles of his shoulders, torso and lower abdomen flexed as he braced himself and then pushed his length into me. I panted at the tightness of his fit but when he rolled his hips towards me I moved to meet him. It felt so good, so natural to be with him that I quickly gave myself over to the pull of his body over mine. He started to ride me harder, each thrust longer and deeper so that my former satisfaction quickly disappeared and my body once again ached for fulfillment. I arched myself beneath him as I reached my second climax, and I watched as a few moments later he experienced his own. He relaxed on top of me, his body heavy and beaded with sweat as I cradled his head in my hands. I was pleased with his foresight as I realized that if we had stayed by the lake we would have to dress again now incase somebody stumbled upon us. In the privacy of the barn we could lie together for as long as we liked. I smoothed my palm down his back and he lifted his head slightly and looked at me.

"I'm gonna tell Sheppard and the others that I'm leaving Atlantis," he said.

I exhaled and looked up at the iron roof high above. Although it was what I wanted to hear, I still had reservations. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

He rolled to the side so that he lay propped up on one elbow beside me, his thigh draped across my own to hide the majority of our nudity. "It's what I was going to do anyway," he said, and he reached out and placed his hand back on the smooth skin of my stomach. "This just confirms it."

I nodded and placed my hand on top of his. The warm afterglow of our lovemaking prompted me to ask something that had been playing on my mind. "Is having a child something that you had ever considered before now?" I questioned.

He smiled. "It's not something I ever ruled out," he told me. "I kind'a thought that maybe one day…" he shook his head and gave a low chuckle. "I have to admit, I didn't see it happening so soon."

I gave him a wry smile. "That makes two of us."

He moved his hand and I withdrew mine so he could trace light circles on my stomach with his fingertips. I watched in fascination as he drew random patterns that tickled my skin. "Now or later, it makes no difference," he told me. "A baby somehow feels right."

The lump in my throat returned as I looked up at him. The moment was perfect, so perfect that I was reluctant to speak for fear of breaking it.

He lifted his hand from my stomach and stroked the side of my face. "You make me happier than I ever thought I could be again," he told me.

The love I felt towards him was like a physical ache inside me. What had I done to deserve a man who fought so fearlessly and loved so deeply? I drew a shaky breath. "Same," I managed to say.

He leaned over and kissed me gently, and then looked down at me and smiled. "Not that I don't like you naked," he said, "but it's probably time we got dressed and met the others."

Sadly, I had to agree. He removed his leg and we set about locating our clothes. Once done, I shook out my hair to rid it of stray pieces of hay and then turned my attention towards Ronon, whose dreadlocks harbored plenty of evidence of where we had spent the afternoon. "There you go," I said as I plucked out the last piece of hay I could find. "Now nobody will know we've been here."

He chuckled. "I doubt anyone's gonna believe we've been somewhere holding hands all this time."

"Maybe not," I said as I jumped down and landed on the ground below. "But at least we can keep them guessing."

He joined me a moment later and we left the barn together. The walk to the airfield seemed to go by in no time, and before I knew it we had reached the bottom of the steps that would take us up to the control tower. I turned to Ronon. "Are you sure you want to do this now?" I asked him. "You could always talk to the Colonel about your decision to leave later."

He reached out and grasped my hand. "Best we do it now," he told me. We climbed the stairs and entered the main room of the control tower to find the others from Atlantis assembled around the control tower in the front window. They stood with their backs to us and I had time to notice that Erik and Marcus were also present, as was Alcied who was engrossed in something he and Rodney were doing at the control panel. The Colonel was the first to notice us. "Hey you two," he said as he looked up. "Nice of you to join us."

Ronon grinned, as did I. We were both aware that neither of us had contributed much over the last couple of days. "What's happening?" Ronon asked as he released my hand and we walked over to where the Colonel stood.

He shrugged. "To tell the truth, I'm not sure… McKay and Alcied seem to think they're onto something in regards to the energy source in the tower. They've been working on it for the better part of the day though and the results still remain to be seen."

"Oh ye of little faith," Rodney interjected. "When I tap into Ancient technology more powerful than anything we've ever encountered to date, _then_ you'll change your tune." He held up his hand. "You do realize when this happens you will owe me a very humble apology, don't you?"

The Colonel rolled his eyes. "Yes. And I shall give it gladly," he assured. "Although if you could hurry it along a little, I'd be just as happy to give it to you sooner."

Rodney gave an exasperated sigh and the Colonel grinned and turned back to us.

"You got a minute?" Ronon asked him.

"Sure," he replied as he dropped his voice. "In fact it would probably be safe to say I have _lot_s of minutes."

"I can hear you, you know," Rodney called. "You might think I'm preoccupied here but my mind is perfectly capable of carrying out a multitude of tasks simultaneously."

The Colonel grinned and the three of us moved towards the back wall of the control tower where we could be out of direct earshot from the others. Erik looked up and Ronon gestured for him to join us. "You should probably hear what we've got to say as well," he said as Erik loped across the room towards us.

I think they both guessed why we wanted to speak with them, and I felt Erik's eyes search my face for indication of what we had decided. The Colonel must have done the same with Ronon because he suddenly gave a wry smile and rested his hand on his hip. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like what I'm about to hear?" he said as he looked from Ronon to me.

Ronon nodded and then got straight to the point. "I want you to know…I don't plan on going back to Atlantis," he told him.

Beside me, I felt Eric visibly relax. The Colonel just looked resigned. "I'm sorry to hear you say that," he said.

"My place is with Sara," Ronon continued. "And her place is at Tarus with her family and friends."

The Colonel looked at him and exhaled slowly. "I have to say, I kind of saw it coming these past couple of days," he said. He ran his had though his hair. "And as much as it pains me to say it…I think you're making the right decision."

Ronon held his gaze. "Whatever agreement you and Dr Weir come to with the people here, I want you to know if you or anyone else from Atlantis needs me then I'll be there." He turned to Erik. "With or without permission."

Erik, who was wise enough to keep quiet when things were going his way, dipped his head in silent acknowledgement.

"That goes for me too," I said. I looked at the Colonel and then past him to where the others from Atlantis worked on, oblivious to our discussion. In truth, part of me was just as sorry as Ronon to be saying goodbye. "I'll never forget everything you have done for me."

"It was our pleasure, Sara," he replied. He extended his hand towards Ronon. "I'll be sorry to see you go, buddy."

Ronon lifted his hand to respond and suddenly the entire control tower burst into a flood of light. He turned to shield me from the worst of it, but my eyes still burned from the unexpected intensity as I hid behind him. I was vaguely aware of the others scrambling for cover, and then the light slowly dimmed a little and I found I could open my eyes again. To my astonishment, a large glowing portal had appeared on the rear wall of the tower. As I stood in stunned silence, Erik dived towards the gun cabinet and Ronon snatched his gun from his thigh. I watched him point it towards the shining sphere and with a sinking heart I realized the safety of my secret home world was about to be compromised in a way none of us could possibly have foreseen.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **Sorry for the wait! This chapter took longer than I expected but because it is the final one I didn't want to rush it. Thank you to everyone who has read with me this far – especially those who were kind enough to leave reviews. I have some ideas for a sequel floating around in my head so if anyone is interested then please let me know. A short epilogue will follow this chapter. Thanks again!

**Ronon POV**

I held my gun fixed on the portal in front of me. It had appeared so suddenly that for a moment the room around me lapsed into silence as everybody stared in amazement. I glanced over my shoulder. "Should we be expecting company?"

"Not of the kind that's been invited," Erik replied as he appeared beside me. Behind him was Marcus and both of them were now armed with sub-machine guns which they pointed towards the portal. Sara pulled up on my left, a FN P90 slung over her shoulder as she reached to tie her hair back from her face. I found it hard not to be impressed by how quickly she and her people reacted.

"Okay. Everyone just calm down for a minute," Sheppard's voice came from behind. "McKay, I assume this is your doing?"

I turned slightly to see McKay emerge from behind the control desk. His mouth hung open as he gaped at the portal. "I don't believe it…" he said, and then he snapped his fingers together in excitement. "But of course! This explains why the Stargate can be loaded with so many ZPMs… The extra energy is channeled directly to this room to power the wormhole." He beamed at everyone in excitement. "The whole set-up has been lying dormant for all these years just waiting for someone like yours truly to come along and reactivate it! This is nothing short of _amazing."_

"Amazing it might be," Sheppard interrupted, "But is it possible for you to shut it off again?"

"Did you not hear what I just said?" McKay's voice was incredulous. "Why on earth would I want to do such a thing?"

I rolled my eyes with impatience. "How 'bout because something could come through from the other side?" I suggested.

"Oh. Oh yes, I guess that is a possibility," he replied. He fell silent and his mouth formed a grim line as he considered the idea. Alcied jumped at the chance to speak.

"General Thorn, I agree with Dr McKay," he said as he stood up from behind his desk. "I don't think we should shut this thing down until we know where it goes. We might not get another chance to look into it, and its presence could pose a security risk to the city."

Erik was silent for a moment and I could see he was weighing up the risks. "I agree," he said at length. "Before we shut it down we need to know where it goes." He turned to Alcied. "Arrange to send a sensor through."

The young scientist moved across the room and busied himself inside a large cupboard. I looked to Erik. "If we can see the portal, then chances are whatever's at the other end can see it too," I reminded him. "We need to act quickly."

Dr Weir also had something to add. "General Thorn, if you are going to enter the portal then I would recommend you take Colonel Sheppard with you. His experience with Ancient technology may come in useful," she said. "If you wish, those of us left behind will cover the entrance to the portal while you are gone."

Erik gave her a curt nod of acceptance. "Much appreciated," he replied as he approached the portal and helped Alcide feed a camera on a long metal rod through its center. Sheppard removed his gun from his shoulder and walked over to stand in the vacant spot Erik had left beside me.

"Looks like we're gonna have to delay that goodbye for a little while longer," he said as he turned to me.

I grinned. "Works for me."

"Yeah… me too," he confessed

I glanced to my left where Sara stood with the butt of her rifle resting under her arm. She was watching the portal with interest and I gathered she intended to accompany us when we went through. A few short hours ago I would have not expected her to do any differently, but there was more than just her own safety to consider now. I caught her eye and we exchanged a long look. By the time it was over her message was clear; yes, she knew the risks and no, I could not persuade her to sit this one out. I gave her a slow nod of acceptance. If something managed to slip through the portal while we were on the other side, there was no guarantee that she would be safe in the control tower anyway. At least if she was with me I could keep an eye out for her if necessary. I reassured myself with the though as Alcide withdrew the camera and played the short recording back.

"It's the interior of some kind of mechanical structure," Erik said. "From what I can see, there doesn't appear to be any activity." He replayed the image so some of the others could take a look.

"It's a corridor," Sheppard said as the tape came to an end. "The construction looks similar to that of Atlantis. It could be some kind of Ancient outpost."

"Are we gonna check it out, or stand here and talk about it all day?" I asked.

Erik gave a half smile. "Marcus and I will go though first," he said. "Give us two minutes on the other side and then the three of you follow. We'll wait for you to join us." He turned once more to Weir. "If anything besides us comes through from the other side, then don't mess around. Shoot to kill. The safety of the entire city could depend on it."

Weir nodded. "We have your back," she said as they entered the portal.

The moment they were gone, Sheppard turned to McKay. "Try to work out a way to shut this thing down incase you need to do it in a hurry."

"Shutting it down is not the problem," McKay replied. "All I need to do is to cut the power… The difficulty is I might not be able to reopen it, which would leave you and the others stranded somewhere in time or space where we have no chance of reaching you."

"If it comes that, then I trust you'll find a way to get us back again," Sheppard replied.

"Great," McKay rolled his eyes. "You make it sound so easy. Do you have any idea of what it is you're asking? Even if I could somehow pinpoint _exactly_ where you were, you do realize the possibility that time space continuum could displace the _where_ and include how and when into the equation? Let me put it simply," he clicked his fingers together. "It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack, only the haystack is in the middle of a field that is filled with a gazillion other haystacks, all of them identical to the one I need to sort through."

The Colonel nodded. "I understand," he said. "I guess its best to hope you don't need to pull the power in the first place." He turned to Weir and tapped the headset in his left ear. "I'll keep in radio contact if at all possible."

She nodded. "Be careful. All of you."

"Two minutes is up," I indicated towards the portal. At Sheppard's signal the three of us walked through together. A brief sensation of coldness passed over me and then we met with Erik and Marcus inside a long narrow corridor. The portal was mounted on the middle of a wall, and the empty passage extended off to both right and left.

"Good to see you all," Erik said. He and Marcus had their guns drawn, and between them they covered each direction of the corridor. Sheppard tapped his intercom and smiled as he picked up Weir almost right away. At Erik's command we began to move off and he relayed the information through to Tarus as we walked. I fell back to the rear where I could keep Sara in my sights while watching for attack from behind. My plan was thwarted when she stopped walking and waited for me to catch up.

"I know what you're doing," she said.

I feigned ignorance. "What do you mean?"

"You're staying behind to cover me," she said. "You think I can't take care of myself?"

I sighed. The last thing I wanted was to get into an argument with her, but I was not prepared to compromise. Mission aside, her safety was my priority. "I never said that," I told her.

"Whatever it is you think you're doing…" she said, and I was surprised to see her smile, "…then thank you. Despite what you might think, I don't want to put myself into any more danger than necessary." She paused and then added with a grin, "At least not for the next few months anyway."

I snorted with relief. "For a moment, I thought you were going to be difficult," I told her.

"Not me," she shook her head. 'If I need help, then trust me, I'll ask for it." She turned to me as we walked. "I'm all for equal rights though. Someday you might need me to save your ass, and if that happens then I don't expect any argument."

I raised my eyebrows in amusement. "I look forward to it," I assured her. We reached a turn in the corridor and our conversation lulled as the lights above came on to show the way towards the next bend. Up ahead, Erik and Marcus froze and extended their weapons as they looked around in surprise.

"Motion sensors," Sheppard explained. "Atlantis is full of them. Every time you enter a new section of the city the power automatically comes on as you go."

"I prefer your explanation to the possibility that we're being watched," Erik replied. He lowered his gun and straightened up. "Not that it makes much difference anyway," he said. "We've come to a dead end."

I looked past him and saw that he was right. The corridor took a ninety degree turn to the right and then stopped about two meters from where we stood. I leaned against the wall and watched as Sheppard took a look around.

"The passage must lead _somewhere_," he reasoned. "Or what's the point of it being here?" He approached the wall directly in front of us and banged his fist against it. The metal was solid and emitted no echo.

"How about this?" Marcus suggested. He indicated towards a mass of square tiles that covered a section of the wall to the left. They were light grey in color with a series of black arcs imprinted on them at odd angles. An empty space indicated that one tile was missing. He pressed his hand to it and I watched as he tried to shift the tile above down into the empty position. "Damn," he exclaimed when it did not budge. "I thought the tiles might be shifted to make an image."

I sighed. At this rate we would be here all day. "I say we blast it," I suggested.

Sheppard held up his hand. "Wait a minute…" he drawled. He walked over to join Marcus and took a closer look at the squares on the wall. "You might just be onto something there," he said as he reached out and touched the same tile. This time, a light came on behind it.

"How did you do that?" Marcus asked

"It's a long story," Sheppard replied, "Basically there is something in my genetic makeup that allows me to operate Ancient technology." He began to slide the tiles around as he tried to form a pattern. As I watched, one slowly began to emerge. He laughed under his breath. "I guess it makes sense..."

My incomprehension was mirrored on the face of everyone else present.

"This pattern," Sheppard began to explain, "Back on Earth, it's known as _the flower of life_. It's believed to represent the fundamental forms of space and time."

Marcus shook his head. "You've lost me."

"I'm not a hundred percent clear on it myself," Sheppard admitted as he slid another tile into place. "But from what we know of the Ancients, they were big on spiritual meaning and enlightenment. From what I recall, both have direct links to _the flower." _He slotted the second to last tile into place and Erik raised his gun.

"Everyone be on the ready," he warned as he gave the nod for Sheppard to complete the puzzle. The moment he did so, the solid wall at the end of the short corridor began to lift. I dropped to my knee so I could see under it as it rose, but was disappointed to see nothing more than another empty passageway on the other side. Although it was not lit up I could tell right away that there was no immediate danger.

"It's clear," I said. "Just more of the same."

The door rose completely to the ceiling and disappeared from view. I got to my feet just as a noise echoed down the corridor and the lights in the new passageway came on.

"Something's out there," Erik said. "Aim your weapons but hold fire until my command."

The noise came steadily closer and I recognized the sound of footsteps. _Lots_ of footsteps. "Stop right there," Erik called. "Don't come any closer. Identify yourselves or we'll shoot."

The movement stopped. Whatever was in the corridor with us was very close, probably just around the next bend about ten or so meters away. I glanced around to locate Sara, and was relieved to find she was behind me. We held our positions and waited.

"You first," a male voice echoed back to us. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

I glanced at Erik. At least it seemed we were dealing with humans as opposed to wraith. Beside me, Sheppard appeared to be deep in thought. "Wait a minute…" he whispered as he looked back down the corridor. With a puzzled expression, he raised his voice and called out. "Major Lorne? Is that you?"

There was no reply. And then a bewildered voice called back. "Colonel Sheppard?"

Sheppard laughed and lowered his gun a little. "Yeah, that's me. What the hell are youdoing here?"

There was silence again. "What do you mean what am _I _doing here? We thought you were visiting Sara's home world? We've received no word of your return."

Sheppard's smile fell and I looked at him in amazement. "We're on _Atlantis?_" I whispered.

The voice grew hesitant again. "Sorry Colonel, I'm going to have to ask you to prove your identity before we proceed."

Sheppard turned to Erik who was looking as bewildered as I felt. He gave a sheepish smile and shrugged his shoulders. "Protocol," he explained as he looked back down the corridor. "That's a wise call, Major. Very safety conscious of you."

I sighed, bored with so much inactivity. "Lorne," I called down the corridor. "I'm standing here right next to Sheppard. I can vouch he is who he says he is. Either you take my word for it, or wait 'till I come down there and tell you face to face."

"Ronon?" Lorne's head appeared around the corner in front of us. He grinned as he saw me, and then motioned for his men that it was safe to come out from cover. I saw him hesitate as he caught sight of Erik and Marcus.

"It's okay," Sheppard assured him. "They're with us." He walked up and slapped Lorne on his shoulder. "Good to see you! You had us all worried there for a moment." He briefly explained the portal, and then reached for his headset to call Weir.

I sheathed my gun and turned to Sara. "Crises over," I smiled. She walked over to stand with me while Sheppard introduced everyone. By the time they were done, Weir and the others had come through the portal and joined us.

"We had no idea what was going on," I heard Lorne say. "The communications console suddenly came to life and before we knew it, an entire section of East wing was operating under its own accord."

"It's lucky it was only us," Sheppard replied. He turned to McKay who was still beaming from ear to ear over the success of his discovery.

'I knew it," he said. "Tarus was set up by the Ancients as a supply and storage facility for Atlantis. Instead of weighing the city down by keeping everything that was necessary to run it here, supplies were kept at Tarus and then transported through the portal as required. Imagine how much more we'll be able to achieve now that we have access to an unlimited supply source."

Sheppard cast a sideways glance at Erik. He was staring at McKay with barely concealed contempt. "Ah… The supplies at Tarus belong to General Thorn and his people," he told McKay. "It will be up to them to decide how they are used."

McKay looked at Erik and flinched under the directness of his stare. "Oh. But of course…" he held up his hand and took a small step backwards. "That was what I was meaning. With General Thorn's _permission…_we could, you know…maybe look at somehow powering up the city."

I smiled at his discomfort, but when Erik clenched his fist and took an ominous step towards him I quickly positioned myself between the two of them. "Hey," I said to Erik. "Let it go. He didn't mean anything."

Erik glared at me. I could see McKay's words had hit a sore spot with him, and it suddenly dawned on me that he might have foreseen something like this happening all along. "These are good people," I told him. "They won't take anything from you or your city that you are not willing to give." His stare waivered and I searched for something else to convince him further. "I give you my word," I told him. Slowly he nodded his head, and to my relief he backed down.

Sheppard, who had been watching the situation unfold, was quick to step in and reinforce my words. I left him to the task as I turned to McKay. He had drawn his hands up to his chest and his eyes were wide with fright. "You okay?" I asked him.

He opened and closed his mouth as he tried to speak_. "Okay?"_ he finally managed to echo. "That… _savage_ almost hit me_,_ and you ask if I'm okay?"

I raised my eyebrows. "I take it that's a yes?"

He patted his chest, hips and thighs with his hands as if taking inventory. "Yes…" he finally replied. "It would seem that I am fine. No thanks to your friend though, I might add."

"McKay, you practically said you were going to help yourself to everything he owned," I pointed out.

He lifted his chin defiantly. "Well, there was no need for him to get so _touchy_ about it."

I rolled my eyes and turned to leave, but his voice followed me. "Ah…Ronon?"

I paused to look back at him. "Yeah?"

"It was good of you to…you know, stand up for me." He wrung his hands together as he looked at me. "I guess I wanted to say…thank you."

I grinned and leaned over to slap him on the shoulder. He winced at the impact. "You're welcome," I told him. I walked over to join Sara and together we followed the others deeper into Atlantis.

**Sara POV**

I stood to one side of the jumper bay and watched the Colonel and my brother talk. There was so much potential here for the advancement of our war against the wraith that I knew Erik had to be excited by the prospect. Other than the slight mishap with Rodney, he had so far seemed to be amicable about discussing combining resources with the Colonel. I glanced over my shoulder as I tried to locate Ronon. Somewhere between the gate room and the hanging bay I seemed to have lost him. I stifled a yawn as I realized how tired I was. Now that the excitement of finding the portal was over, fatigue set in and I leaned against the metal rail in front of me and closed my eyes for a moment.

"So this is where you stayed then?"

Marcus's voice instantly snapped me out of my relaxed state. He smiled as he came over and leaned on the rail beside me. I watched him guardedly. He was close enough that I could smell his cologne, and it reminded me that things between us had not always been this awkward. "This is Atlantis," I confirmed.

He looked out over the jumper bay. "It's impressive," he told me

I nodded, conscious that Ronon could reappear at any time. Marcus obviously had the same thought because he wasted no time in getting to the point. "Your brother tells me you're seeing one of the guys you met here."

I nodded. "That's true," I confirmed.

"I saw you with him at the banquet last night," he said. "I thought there was something going on between the two of you then, but I hoped I was wrong." The regret in his voice emphasized his words. "Then I saw you both today," he continued before breaking off again. He was silent for so long that eventually I turned to look at him. "I was going to ask you if it was serious…" he said. "…If you loved him. But I think I already know the answer."

I swallowed. He was obviously hurting, but I was afraid to reach out to him in any way for fear he would misread my actions. "I'm sorry," I told him as I held his gaze. Ronon aside, he had to know that I meant what I said when I told him we were over.

He stared back at me and tried a different approach. "Your brother has asked him to join our military ranks at Tarus. He wanted to know if I thought I could work with him."

I raised my eyebrows. "And?" I asked. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that if we want to continue our fight against the wraith then we need more men." He turned to me. "I will work with the man, but you should know this…" his voice softened, "…every time I see him with you, every night you spend with him…I'll wish it was me in his place."

I looked away. "You say that now," I told him, "but one day you'll find someone who will make you think differently." I gave him a hesitant smile. "Then you will see that I was right about us."

He went on as if I had not spoken. "I promise I won't make things difficult for you," he said. "After today, I won't mention my feelings for you again." He reached out and touched the back of his fingers to my cheek. It was such a tentative gesture that I did not have the heart to pull away. "I just needed to tell you one last time how sorry I am. If things don't work out the way you hope… well, I'll be here for you," he said.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Thank you," I whispered.

He stroked my cheek just once and then removed his hand. It was then I noticed Ronon had finally reappeared. He caught my eye across the jumper bay and my heart beat quickened at the sight of him. The reaction he stirred in me was impossible to disguise completely, and my expression must have tipped Marcus off to his presence because he stepped back a little. Although I had nothing to hide, I felt guilty for the scene Ronon may have just witnessed and I quickly beckoned for him to join us. His change of attire indicated he had spent the last few minutes in his room at Atlantis and I realized he had taken the unexpected opportunity to retrieve a few of his belongings. Dressed in chaps and a fitted, dark brown leather vest that bared his arms and buttoned down front, he carried a couple of other garments over his arm as he approached. I stepped away from Marcus to meet him and it dawned on me that as far as I knew, the two men were yet to be properly introduced. I smiled at Ronon. "Ronon," I said as I turned to Marcus, "This is Marcus Lancaster."

"Marcus," I said, "This is Ronon Dex."

They dipped their heads towards each other in acknowledgement, but I noticed that neither made a move to shake hands. As they sized each other up, I could not help but compare the two of them myself. Marcus was shorter than Ronon, although at 6ft 2", he would hardly fall into the category of a small man. He was broad in the shoulder and thickset, his clean shaven face and short, spiky black hair the perfect contrast to Ronon's dreadlocks and goatee. Both men were equally fit and muscular, and despite their different styles each was handsome in their own right. Only one of them could set my heart racing with a single word or gesture though, and my eyes went to Ronon as Marcus finally broke the silence.

"I hear there is a possibility that you might be joining our military ranks," he said..

"You heard right," Ronon replied. "I was in the process of accepting the General's offer right before we found the portal."

Marcus raised his eyebrows. "Well then, I guess its welcome aboard," he said. "The General speaks very highly of you." He looked at me. "As does Sara."

Ronon shifted his weight to his other foot. He appeared casual and relaxed but I knew he was deciding how far he could trust the man who was my ex-lover. "Don't believe everything you hear," he said as he arched his eyebrow in my direction.

"Neither Sara nor her brother are prone to exaggeration," Marcus replied. He met Ronon's eyes squarely, and I realized how difficult this conversation must be for him. I felt a moment of pride towards him as he extended his hand to Ronon. "I look forward to working with you," he said.

Ronon eyed him for a moment, and then to my relief he accepted the hand and exchanged a brief shake. The moment it was over, Marcus took a step away. "I'd best get going," he indicated his head towards Erik and Colonel Sheppard. "I'll see you both around."

As soon as he was out of hearing range, I turned to Ronon. "Anything you might have seen… it wasn't what it looked like," I said.

He looked me slowly up and down. "You don't need to explain," he said. "I know you've got a history. It'll take a bit for everyone to get used to things."

I exhaled in relief. "Really?"

He smiled and reached for me with his free hand. "Sure," he said as his arm slipped around my waist and he pulled me to him. "Although I'd just as soon he kept his hand to himself in the future."

I smiled at his possessiveness. It was a side of him I had not seen before. "You won't," I assured him as I stood on tip toes and kissed him briefly. "What you saw was goodbye between us."

Ronon raised his eyebrow. "You sure _he_ knows that?"

"Absolutely," I told him, and to back up my point, I kissed him again. We parted a moment later and I inclined my head towards where the others were deep in conversation. "Looks like they could be a while," I said. "Do you want to wait around, or maybe head back to Tarus?"

"Let's check if we're needed," Ronon replied. "It not, then we'll leave."

We rejoined the others and they broke off their conversation as Ronon addressed Erik. "Sara and I were thinking about going back to Tarus," he said. "I take it you don't need us here?"

It was the first time he had looked to my brother for direction – a fact that I was sure did not go unnoticed by those present – and I watched as Erik slowly inclined his head.

"Go ahead," he said. "Marcus and I are probably going to be a few hours. No point in the two of you standing around."

Ronon looked at me and then turned to Colonel Sheppard who stood a little to my right. "I guess this is it then," he said to his friend.

The Colonel gave him a wistful kind of half smile. "I guess so," he conceded. "Although I'd like the chance to check out some of these running circuits I've been hearing about on Tarus." He smiled and rested his hands casually upon his hips. "Don't be surprised if I use the portal to check you're keeping up with your cardio."

Ronon grinned. It was no secret that he and the Colonel often worked out together by running around the city of Atlantis. With the revelation of the portal, there was no reason why they could not continue to do so. "I'll be expecting you," Ronon told him as he ignored his hand and stepped forward to embrace him in a powerful bear hug instead.

The Colonel laughed, and then choked a little under the force of it. "Easy there," he warned. "If you break my ribs, I'm not gonna be able to run."

Ronon released him and gave him one last slap on the back as he turned to go. I waved to Erik and ventured a smile towards Marcus before we left them behind in the jumper bay. We walked for a moment together in silence until Ronon suddenly stopped and turned to me. "Have you thought about getting checked out yet?" he asked.

Although we were standing outside the infirmary, it still took a moment for me to realize he was referring to my being pregnant. I turned my head and saw the door to Carson's office was ajar and he was inside behind his desk. An uncomfortable thought occurred to me. "You planned this?" I asked.

"No," he shook his. "I just thought it might be a good idea… Make sure you're alright and everything."

I exhaled and relaxed a little. I didn't like to admit it, but his suggestion made sense. In fact, I felt a little guilty that the thought had not crossed my own mind. "Alright," I conceded. "If Carson's not busy, then I'll see him now."

Ronon nodded and together we approached the doctor's office. He looked up as Ronon knocked on the door.

"Sara. Ronon," he said as he stood up from behind his desk. "This is a pleasant surprise. I thought the pair of you would both have returned to Tarus by now."

"We're on our way," I told him. "We just stopped by to say goodbye… and to maybe ask a favor."

"Oh?" He looked at me for a moment and then walked over to close the door behind us. "Is something the matter?" he asked.

Ronon's hand pressed gently against the small of my back. "Sara might be pregnant," he said. We were hoping you could take a look at her… Make sure everything's okay."

Carson's face lit up. "Well," he beamed, "I must say, this is a lovely surprise." He beckoned for us to follow him into an empty room in the medical bay and then handed me a test to take. In the privacy of the bathroom next door I followed the directions and then came back to prop myself up next to Ronon on a nearby bench while we waited for the results. It was barely two minutes before they came through.

"Well Sara," Carson smiled at me, "I am most happy to confirm that you are indeed pregnant."

My stomach did a small flip-flop. "Thank you," I whispered. I wanted to tell him I had guessed as much, that the confirmation of a baby was not news to me, but it seemed that the difference between suspecting something and knowing for sure was bigger than I realized. I was pregnant. This was really happening. My mixed emotions must have shown because as I turned to Ronon, Carson took a moment to busy himself with some papers on the desk behind. Before I knew what was happening, Ronon stooped to reach for me and I felt his arms wrap around the tops of my thighs as he hoisted me high off the ground. I let out a soft cry of surprise and braced my hands upon his shoulders as he held me above him, my hips pressed to his ribcage while he supported my weight solely by the strength in his arms. I looked down at him and my breath caught as I discovered I was the single focus of his green eyes. He stared at me with a combination of such awe and fierce pride that I felt both incredibly strong and yet achingly fragile all at the same time. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I remembered we were not the only ones in the room. "Put me down." I whispered softly.

He held me in place for a fraction longer and then slowly lowered my feet back to the ground. I barely had time to register my toes were curled before the moment was broken as Carson turned around. My cheeks flushed with color as I wondered what he must be thinking. "I'm sorry," I stammered as I tried to explain. "This is all… We didn't know for sure until now."

He shook his head and waved my words away with his hand. "No need for apology," he said. "In fact, given the circumstances, it's a pleasure to see." He clasped his hands together in front of him as he gave us both a broad smile. "Please, let me have the honor of being the first to offer you both my sincere congratulations."

Ronon smiled, seemingly not in the least uncomfortable about the display of affection he had just showered upon me. "Thanks, doc," he replied with ease.

Carson nodded and then indicated for us to take a seat. The mood in the room became more serious as he got down to business and explained what I could expect over the coming weeks. While he appeared to know a great deal on the subject, he made it clear to me that pregnancy and childbirth was not something he specialized in. Although he would help me in any way that he could, he recommended that as my pregnancy progressed I should seek a midwife on Tarus as well. It dawned on me how little I knew about what I was facing and I suddenly felt a little overwhelmed by what was ahead. Ronon took my hand and squeezed my fingers.

"You're gonna be fine," he told me as if he could read my thoughts. "Between the doctors here and on your home world, you'll have the best possible care."

Carson nodded his agreement. "So long as you don't try to overdo things," he warned.

"I'll see to it that she takes things easy," Ronon replied as he turned to me. I shot him what I hoped was my most rebellious look and was rewarded when the corners of his mouth turned upwards in a smile. It seemed we had discussed all that we needed to, so Ronon retrieved his clothes from Carson's office and we bid the doctor a fond goodbye. We walked in silence back through the corridors of Atlantis that would take us to the portal. It was a moment before I realized that Ronon was watching me intently.

I raised my eyebrows as I turned to him. "What?" I asked.

He held my gaze. "I think it's a girl," he told me.

I stared at him in surprise as I realized he was still thinking about the baby. "Really?" I replied. "What makes you think that?"

He shrugged. "Just a feeling."

I raised my eyebrows. "It's much too early to tell either way yet," I told him, and then paused as an unwelcome thought settled over me. "Will you be disappointed if it's a boy?"

He replied without hesitation. "Not at all. If we have a boy I'll get him his own triple barrel… And I'll teach him to stick fight too."

I smiled at the image. "He'll have a great teacher," I told him.

He squeezed my hand. "So will she."

I laughed. He was so sure of himself that I didn't see any point in arguing. It was still a good few months before we would find out if he was right or not anyway. The portal came into view and we drew to a stop in front of it.

"You got everything?" Ronon turned to me.

I reached out to take his hand. "Everything I need," I told him.

"Same," he whispered, and he leaned down to graze his lips gently across my own. His eyes were soft as he pulled back and looked at me, and I offered no resistance as he guided me towards the portal and took me home.


	27. Epilogue

**A/N: **Firstly, I must apologize to my loyal readers. I made the discovery rather belatedly that I am relatively poor at writing epilogues. I have lost count of the amount of hours I have spent working on the following few short paragraphs – most of which I am still less than happy with. However, for the sake of rounding off a story that I had a lot of fun writing I will go ahead and post the final section to Ronon and Sara's journey. The POV is solely Sara's, but I have done my best to give Ronon voice in it also.

Thank you to those of you who are still reading! If the epilogue does not scare you away, I still have a sequel in mind that I may work on in the future.

**Sara POV**

Almost seven months after I first discovered I was pregnant I gave birth in the Tarus hospital to our baby daughter. We named her Natara Sateda – Natara for no other reason than we both liked the sound of it, and Sateda in memory of a heritage that we one day planned to tell her about. Right from the start Natara was the image of her father in tiny feminine form. Her eyes were the exact same shade of green, and her olive skin promised to turn a similar deep brown when exposed to the sun. My heart was lost to her immediately – as was Ronon's. He showered his daughter with such uninhibited adoration that even I was taken by surprise. There was something about seeing my gruff, 6tf 4" warrior lover cradle his tiny daughter, and laugh softly as she curled her toes or waved her arms, that never failed to bring a lump to my chest. He would gaze down at her with a mixture of pride and awe, while beneath it all burned such a fierce protectiveness that I knew if I needed to close my eyes and take a rest then I could do so and no harm would come to her. Perhaps it was because of this that I healed so quickly from the birth. Whatever the reason, we resumed our lovemaking earlier than expected and the passion that burned between us was stronger than ever.

Erik continued to lead Tarus in the war against the wraith. The men from Earth proved to be useful additions to our military numbers and due to their presence we were able to bring about a number of wraith fatalities in a relatively short amount of time. My brother became a father again when, five months before Natara was born, Isobel gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Unlike her dark haired mother and older brother, Summer – named after my own mother and the woman who had raised Erik as he own – inherited the Thorn blond hair and fair skin. Erik could not have been more smitten.

Marcus did not run short of feminine attention. With his good looks and position in the Tarus military, his name was associated with a number of attractive women on Tarus – and a couple on Atlantis as well. Sadly, none of them seemed to hold his interest for long. I suspected he still had feelings for me, but if I was right then he did well to hide them as he kept to his word and did not mention them to me again.

The existence of the portal between Tarus and Atlantis was kept secret from non-military personal. To aid security, travel between the two worlds was restricted to a select few people from either side. Due to the large number of ZPMs available, trips were not limited to necessity only and Colonel Sheppard – or John as I had begun to call him – often arrived in the morning to work out with Ronon, and if Ronon was nowhere to be found then the chances were good he was somewhere on Atlantis with John and his team.

I still woke to the occasional nightmare of the time I spent being hunted by the wraith. I would curl myself into Ronon's sleeping form next to me and wait for my heart rate to return to normal and the clamminess to leave my skin. Sometimes, if my distress was loud enough to have disturbed him, he would turn to me and we would make love together in the darkness. Although I guessed his own years in exile to be darker and more harrowing than my own, he did not appear to suffer the lingering side effects that I did. I asked him once how he managed so well, and he rolled over in bed and kissed me gently on the lips. _I remember the past,_ he told me, _but you and Natara give me reason not to live in it. _After everything we had been through it seemed like a good way to look at things. Furthermore, it made me realize that as much as I was his – heart, mind and body – somewhere along the way he had also become mine. He was my lover, my companion, my protector and the father of my daughter. As long as I was with him, I could let go of the past and look forward to the time that he, Natara and I had yet to spend together.


End file.
